CH 46.1

Jing Yan had a long dream.

He hugged his knees and huddled in the corner, while some people stood at the door, wearing black clothes, whispering. He could feel their frequent glances, but he didn’t want to pay attention to them, and they didn’t dare to disturb him.

Jing Yan buried his head in his knees.

In the dream, he seemed to be submerged in a pool of black water, unable to see the surroundings clearly, and he felt cold and suffocated, as if he was on the verge of death.

“Jing Yan? Jing Yan!” The anxious voice gradually increased in his ears.

Jing Yan slowly opened his eyes, and the warm light came, and in the warm light, Qiao Xi held his face and looked at him worriedly.

In an instant, the temperature returned to his body, and his heart started beating again.

Seeing that Jing Yan finally woke up, Qiao Xi breathed a sigh of relief: “I saw that you seemed to be having a nightmare, I kept telling you to wake up, you almost scared me to death.”

“…” Jing Yan came back to his senses, his Adam’s apple rolled down, and then he said with a hoarse voice, “Qiao Xiaoxi…”

His heart fell, then Qiao Xi moved to the side, trying to put on his clothes, but he was dragged back as soon as he moved.

He suddenly lay on Jing Yan’s chest and looked at him blankly.

“Qiao Xi,” Jing Yan murmured his name and pressed him to his chest, “Qiao Xi…”

Qiao Xi was stunned.

Jing Yan…

The next second, he stretched out his arms and hugged Jing Yan, snuggled into the man’s arms obediently, and said softly, “It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Jing Yan hugged Qiao Xi tightly, his body very tight.

After a while, Qiao Xi moved.

He raised his head and kissed Jing Yan’s cheek.

Jing Yan didn’t move, he just closed his eyes and let him comfort him. When Qiao Xi kissed the corner of his eye, he clasped Qiao Xi’s head and kissed his lips.

The room was quiet for a while, but after a while, the two separated, and Jing Yan took a deep breath and sat up.

He took the quilt, held the naked Qiao Xi in his arms, and asked, “Do you feel better now? You had a fever and slept all day.”

… Sure enough, he slept for a day!

Qiao Xi touched his forehead and said, “I don’t feel it at all, I just felt like I slept for a long time, and I didn’t feel any different from usual when I woke up.”

Jing Yan leaned over and tried the temperature of Qiao Xi’s forehead with his forehead.

Qiao Xi looked at Jing Yan at close range and blinked, then he hesitated, “Jing Yan, were you sad in your dream?”

Jing Yan said hoarsely, “How do you know?”

Qiao Xi: “I I felt it.”

Jing Yan: “Felt it?”

“Well, I just felt that you were sad, and then I woke up.” Qiao Xi replied obediently.

“Are we two in tune?” Jing Yan asked softly.

“I think so.” Qiao Xi said.

Jing Yan pulled the corner of his lips.

And finally laughed.

Jing Yan was always happy every day, but his mood in the past two days was obviously not right.

Qiao Xi was worried and distressed, but besides being with him, he really didn’t know what else to do.

Jing Yan took the thermometer again and put it in Qiao Xi’s ear to measure it, and he was relieved after confirming that the temperature had really dropped completely.

Then he brought Qiao Xi close, hugged him in his arms, sat quietly for a while, and said, “You must have heard about my family, right?”

Qiao Xi subconsciously nodded: “Yeah.”

Then suddenly thought, Jing Yan, this is… Was he ready to talk to him about something in his heart?

Thinking of this, he restrained his expression and said seriously: “In the past, no one in the bird clan told me about the outside world, I only heard a little about it when I was there with Jing Yu, and I know that your mother… passed away thirteen years ago. And, one year after her death, the current queen…”

Jing Yan rubbed his head lightly, but his eyes fell on a point in the distance.

After a moment of silence, he slowly said: “Well, my mother died of illness. Although that woman entered the palace only a year after my mother died, she was with that man when my mother was sick and bedridden.”

Qiao Xi stopped.

Jing Yan said in a calm tone: “She and my mother grew up together, and my mother had always regarded her as a good friend. Before knowing the truth, my mother was sick in bed, and while she was having an affair with my father, she even came to visit my mother… I have always been very close to her and called her ‘Auntie’ all the while.”

Qiao Xi tightened his hands.

Above his head, the man’s voice was indifferent: “It’s a bloody and vulgar drama, every time I think about what happened during that time, I feel disgusted.”

Qiao Xi sat up.

Jing Yan’s eyes met his.

“If you really love someone, it’s impossible to be lonely and derailed when the other person is sick, right? When did he stop loving my mother? Did my mother know?” Jing Yan paused and said, “I thought back carefully afterwards, I think my mother should have been able to feel the indifference of the man, but it is not clear if she knew that the man had abandoned their feelings very thoroughly, and even betrayed their marriage. Because if my mother knew, with her character, she would never continue this marriage.”

“And that man, even if he didn’t love her anymore, why did he have to find a new love when my mother was sick, and why was it still the woman my mother regarded as a friend? Why was he with her? Why did he betray my mother with her, while allowing her to go to my mother’s hospital bed and visit as a friend?”

“What about that woman? Did she consider my mother a friend?” Jing Yan paused and said coldly, “No, this matter is not a question. Since my mother passed away, her attitude towards me changed. You can find the answer from that.”

Qiao Xi couldn’t help it, and asked, “What about your father? Can’t he see the queen’s nature?”

“I thought about this question too, but I quickly figured out the answer,” Jing Yan held Qiao Xi’s hand and said slowly, “When he was with that woman, he must have known her nature. It may even be that woman’s nature that aroused his interest.”

Qiao Xi was stunned.

Interested in straightforward hypocrisy?

But no matter what, being with such a woman at that point of time, had the Wolf King really never considered the feelings of Jing Yan, Jing Yi and his wife?

Or, did he never think about it at all…

Just thinking about it, Qiao Xi felt his fingertips grow cold.

At the reception dinner of the Leopard King and Leopard Queen, he had seen the wolf king and Jing Yan standing together.

It didn’t seem like the wolf king’s high regard for Jing Yan was fake, but while he valued it, he was emotionally so… It could only be said that the wolf king himself was a person who was extremely emotionally indifferent.

“During that time, I had a lot of questions in my head every day.” Jing Yan closed his eyes.

“After knowing the truth, I once left the palace with Jing Yi. I didn’t want to see those two people again, and I didn’t want to be a prince as well. I also hated those in the palace who guessed the truth before I knew it when I was six years old. When it comes to some things, I have always been treated politely by my mother, but in a blink of an eye, I had to bow down to that woman, the flattering servants, guards, and everyone else.” Jing Yan’s hand gradually tightened, “Some people say I’m too naive. The world is so real, and I’ll understand when I grow up. But I still feel sick to this day.”

“You’re not wrong!” Qiao Xi also held Jing Yan’s hand back, and seeing Jing Yan’s appearance was very distressed, “Those who work in the palace may be able to smile at the queen, but you will feel disgusted, it’s a normal thing. You haven’t done any bad things like taking revenge, so no one has the right to ask you to be considerate of them. As for the rest—”

Jing Yan opened his eyes and looked at Qiao Xi.

Qiao Xi said slowly: “As for other things, what is ‘the world of adults’, what is ‘reality’, it’s just an excuse, a step for yourself, a fig leaf!”

Qiao Xi couldn’t comment on things like having no choice.

But when there was a choice in front of him, Qiao Xi’s inner answer had always been clear, this would never change despite him being a child or an adult, because he was always him, he had grown up, but his original heart never twisted.

And Jing Yan was just like him.

Why should Jing Yan be relieved? Having suffered such a thing that he would never do and would never understand in his true heart, nausea was normal for him, but——

“But I hope your heart can be completely calmed down,” Qiao Xi said softly, ” I hope you can stop having nightmares and sleep well this night every year, I hope you are happy every day and don’t be sad.”

Jing Yan hugged Qiao Xi again and bit his lips.

Between the turbulent breathing, Qiao Xi whispered: “Jing Yan, did your mother want you to be the wolf king?”

“I hope so, I have always regarded this as my goal.” Jing Yan’s silver eyes gleamed coldly.

Back then, he took Jing Yi back to his grandfather’s house.

On the tenth day of shutting himself in the room, Grandpa knocked on his door, told him to come out, and sat with him in the hallway.

It was a quiet night, and a full moon could be seen in the sky from the yard.

“What do you want to do in the future?” Grandpa asked him, “Do you want to go to a school outside? It’s not still too late, study hard, go to a good university and study a favorite major in the future—”

After speaking, Grandpa turned to look at him, then smiled: “No, you kid, do you still have ambitions?”

He reached out and tapped the forehead of the young wolf Jing Yan: “You want to be the king, this small yard can’t hold you.”

Jing Yan raised his head and stared straight at the moon in the sky with dry eyes.

He was not the protagonist in those novels, but he was in the royal family while having dreams of being an ordinary person.

He was born to look at the throne, he wanted to be the wolf king, and his mother, his grandfather, and his family had all supported him behind his back.

He originally had many plans and wishes for his own future and the future of the entire wolf clan.

“Jing Yan, you have to understand that the wolf clan is not owned by the wolf king alone, the palace is not owned by him alone, and the throne is not owned by him alone,” Grandpa said slowly, “that’s not his private property, it needs you to separate things from the relationships. The throne represents ability and responsibility. What you should consider is not who is sitting on the throne now, but whether you have the ability to take this responsibility in the future. At the same time, you must also understand, as the prince of the wolf clan royal family, and that too the eldest son, every choice you make affects the wolf clan’s future.”

Jing Yan trembled.

“Little idiot, you can’t really do without the whirlpool of the royal family,” Grandpa smiled, rubbing his head, “your father, the person who is about to become the queen, and many more people who are paying attention to you… …they will drag you in. Do you want to be sucked in by the whirlpool?”

Jing Yan looked at his grandfather, was silent for a moment, and shook his head.

“—Then don’t be passive. Go control this vortex.”

“Think about things, understand the future, and then understand what you should do next,” Grandpa stood up and said, “Although you are only six years old. years old, but Grandpa believes you can sort out these things yourself.”

On that day, Jing Yan thought about it all night.

And five days later, he took Jing Yi out of his grandfather’s house.

After waiting outside for fifteen days, the attendant sent by the man respectfully saluted him.

Jing Yan chose to return to the palace, but when he faced the wolf king again, he would no longer cry, and would no longer ask why he was unwilling to face that man.