6.12 - Zero Percent Goblin

6.12 - Zero Percent Goblin

Hanan didn’t care for the swamp. At every step it sucked at his fancy boots. Sticks poking from the mud would grab at his robes. He really should have taken the gilded robes off. They didn’t look nearly as good covered in mud. The king even lost his breakfast when they traveled through Xol’sa’s portal. But that was a rite of passage.

“How do you people live here?” Hanan complained.

“With a lot of Cleansing Scrub,” Sarisa said, smacking a small snapper on the head. It skittered away, grunting as it went.

“I can see the advantage of such a place, though. Look at those mountains.” Hanan was awestruck by the size of those mountains. Since Qavell was on an open plane before it took to the skies, such defensive structures would have been impressive.

The group trudged through the mud, finding their way to the rocky outcrops on the swamp’s edge. The walk took brutalizing hours to reach the nearest shore. Theo cleaned everyone up with some Cleansing Scrub, banishing away the mud. That brought Hanan’s spirits even higher, putting a goofy smile on his regal face.

“Touch nothing,” Sarisa warned. “Or you’ll explode.”

Theo searched the bank’s edge first, kicking over stones to find insects scuttling away. Stone flowers grew in this area, marking the section half-way from the bank to a scree. He was surprised to see the flowers didn’t care for the loose stone, preferring to grow on solid ground. Most of the samples he had found were in areas of intense concentration of earth magic. There were also Water Lilies along in the mud, and even Swamp Onions.

“This is an excellent spot.” Theo knelt, inspecting the first few samples. None were up to the standard of a fourth tier potion, but they were far more potent than the examples he had in his greenhouses. “How are your people doing, Hanan?”

“Your golems have frightened them,” Hanan said, pouting. “They’re fine. They’ll be fine, given enough time.”

“I hope so.”

It took Theo about an hour to find a few samples he was happy with. During that time, Hanan was eager to chat about different things. That’s when the alchemist’s plan was completed. It wasn’t complicated, but the king had to get out of his city. Picking through the mud wasn’t exciting, but it wasn’t the same cursed city he had been trapped in for so long. After this, he could go see other parts of the alliance.

“Throk has been working on something,” Theo said, placing the fine example of a Water Lily in his inventory. “We’ll connect with the north soon enough. Although I’m not sure there’s much to see.”

“He’s already got a length of track set on the mountain pass,” Rowan said, pulling at something on his finger.

Theo looked closer, finding that the half-ogre had an ogre snapper stuck to his finger. It wouldn’t come off no matter how hard he yanked, so he left it there.

“Good to hear,” Theo said. He couldn’t stop staring at the small turtle. “As I expected, there were a few decent samples of Water Lily out this far. If the north hadn’t been destroyed, it would have been a trove of reagents.”

“Alas, it is destroyed,” Hanan sighed. “Can we leave this damnable place, now?”

“Sure. You should stop by for dinner, though.”

“Are you serving mud?”

Sarisa scoffed. “No. We don’t eat mud.”

“I eat mud sometimes,” Rowan shrugged.

Everyone glared at him. The half-ogre just shook his hand, trying to dislodge the snapper.

Theo was happy to see Hanan head off and investigate the town some more. The alchemist made his way to the Newt and Demon. Salire would be happy to see some more powerful reagents. More than anything, he wanted to see another potion that gave him free attributes. His trips into the swamp would become more frequent, and he had plans to hit every area he could think of. Including the underground that had been so neglected.

“Ah! Finally,” Salire said, bounding down the stairs after the bell rang. “I have something to show you.”

Theo gestured up the stairs. “After you.”

She had more bounce in her step than normal. Theo thought he was excited to show her the new reagent, but the half-ogre woman had something bubbling up within her that couldn’t be contained. When they reached the landing of the third floor, she gestured to the lab and smiled at him.

It took Theo longer than he would care to admit finding what she was showing. A tiny version of the 500 unit alchemy stills sat on a metal stand. Four duplicates sat in a row, all with the advanced vapor pressurization artifices created by Throk. In a flash, he realized what her plan was.

“Small batch stills?” Theo asked, unable to suppress a smile. Each was made of Drogramathi Iron and was an example of Throk’s expert craftsmanship.

Alex had somehow ascended to Level 35. As Theo thought of it, so had Tresk. When had he been left behind in the dust? The Tara’hek had reached Level 34, but didn’t seem likely to roll over anytime soon. At least his progress with his two main cores was progressing well enough. And he didn’t have to worry about his sub-cores adding to his personal level. So long as his alchemy and herbalist cores were leveling, so was he.

Hanan arrived a short while later, wearing clean robes. Although Theo had cleaned the man with Cleansing Scrub, he had assumed a slightly more regal form of attire for the dinner. The king waited at the threshold for a while, eventually clearing his throat.

“Could someone please introduce me?” he asked, looking meek in his regal attire.

“Introducing...” Tresk jumped onto the table, taking in a deep breath. “King Hanan! Give it up, everyone! Heir to the throne of Qavell, all around cool guy, and pretty handy with a fork!”

Hanan cleared his throat. “Thank you, Dreamer. I meant an introduction to the group.”

“Oh. Right.” Tresk got down from the table, giving formal introductions for everyone gathered. Hanan was familiar with everyone, but Theo assumed this was just a formality. He had thought about inviting other people to the dinner, but decided against it.

“Have a seat, Hanan,” Theo said, pulling a chair out for the king. “Don’t quote me, but I think we’re having steak.”

“Oh, I do love steak,” Hanan said, finding a seat. “I’m not familiar with dishes of the southland.”

“Wolf meat, mostly,” Sarisa said, swooping in to deliver a platter. It was loaded with Marsh Tubers that had been battered and deep fried. Theo felt his stomach grumble as he gazed at the Broken Tusk version of french fries. “But the swamp provides.”

“Indeed it does,” Hanan said, grabbing a fry and promptly burning his tongue. “Ah. Just a bit hot.”

Tresk took charge of the discussion first, filling her plate with fries and eating them like a slob. “Qavell is already doing better. Her people need time to recover, but they’re strong. Just like the southlanders.”

Theo was surprised at her tact.

“I couldn’t agree more. The Southlands Alliance is helmed by some kind souls,” Hanan said, inclining his head toward Tresk. “This wasn’t something I expected, given the stories I was told.”

“What were those stories?” Tresk asked. She didn’t even spit any tuber onto the table.

“Father always talked about the other towns in the alliance as things. Not places filled with people inside. After the city landed, I was happy to see he was wrong.”

Sarisa came by again, serving a mashed version of the tuber. She smiled to herself as she returned to her brother in the kitchen.

“Is that cheese?” Hanan asked, leaning over the mashed tuber.

“Didn’t know we had cheese.” Theo loaded a plate with fries and mashed tubers. “Someone must have imported some.”

“Oh, I like this,” Hanan said, licking his lips after taking a sample. “What’s next?”

Next wasn’t steak as Theo had predicted, but something shockingly similar to pulled pork. It even had barbeque sauce... or something like it. Of course, this wasn’t pulled pork. It was pulled wolf. The alchemist should have guessed from the scent, but as Sarisa brought out a massive plate of the stuff. Tresk’s manners fell away when the plate of meat hit the table. She tore into it, devouring a quarter of the massive pile in a moment.

“Pardon me,” Tresk said, wiping the corners of her mouth. The ear-rending belch she issued didn’t help with her assumed manners.

Theo leaned in, elbowing the marshling. “What’s up with that? Starting fresh?”

“I need to be more like the Dreamer. Which means... well...”

“Being less of a goblin?”

“Yeah. That’s it. Less of a goblin. But not zero percent goblin.”

“Of course.”