Chapter 66 - Sixty Five – Renn – To See Not Touch

Chapter 66: Chapter Sixty Five – Renn – To See Not Touch It's been a long time since I've felt so uncomfortable just because I existed.

This village was in something of a valley, and was situated inside a small collection of large hills, surrounded by mountains. On the other side of one of the mountains, to the east, was the ocean. Those mountains somehow kept this place a little warmer than the places around it, while also making it feel... secluded. Safe.

I was sitting on a rock near the entrance to a cavern. Vim had gone into it an hour ago with Silkie, a large woman who Vim had said was a chicken. A hen.

She hadn't liked me at all. I had almost not been allowed to even enter this valley. Silkie had recognized what I was instantly, even though my ears and tail had been hidden. With a single glance she had known I was a predator, and had told Vim I was too dangerous to let in. Too dangerous to be near her children, or the humans either.

Luckily Vim had convinced her, a little forcefully, that I would cause no harm... but...

I took a deep breath and sighed.

Not only had Vim warned me that some folks would be... distressed at my presence, so had others. Lilly especially had told me that more often than not predators didn't mix or live with prey. Yet...

Yet this was the first time I had been so blatantly told so to my face. Lughes and the rest had grown upset with me, losing their trust, but it had taken months. Rapti had been more than happy to spend time with me, as well.

They at least allowed me into their home. They at least were willing to talk to me.

Here though...

Off in the distance, down a small hill, was a field. A field of deep green. Some kind of vegetable. It was one of many fields, but they weren't as massive as the wheat fields in Twin Hills. These were more... personal. Odds are they didn't sell anything they grew and only farmed stuff for themselves.

There weren't as many trees here as on the mountains, but there were enough to block most of the village from sight. Their yellow roofs, of odd wood, stood out amongst the green fields and treetops.

That village housed three families of our Society. One was human. Another was a mixture of humans and our kind, and then those like Silkie. Chickens and hens.

I had only seen the residents from a distance. I had seen older people. Children. I had even seen a baby, carried on the back of what was undoubtedly the mother. None had come up to us. None had looked at us kindly, as we passed through their village and to this cavern. In fact it had been a little... disturbing. The whole of the village had gone quiet as we walked through it, and most had not even looked at us. Hiding away, as if we were lepers.

Or well...

I knew Vim wasn't seen as dangerous to them. Silkie had a huge smile on her face upon seeing him, and had only grown discontent when she had finally seen me. Honestly I knew why. He was a predator, yes... but he was first and foremost the protector.

While I... I was...

Just a random woman who no one knew or trusted.

Which made this moment, which I had hoped would have been as fun and wonderful as the others of my kind I had met... instead... it was...

"A little painful," I admitted to myself as I glanced around.

There were a few trees here, but they were skinny. Thin little things, which were barely wider than my waist. They had an odd white and black bark... which oddly I couldn't remember seeing before. I had travelled a lot before meeting Nory... yet I hadn't seen trees such as these before.

Usually I'd be rather interested in them, but right now...

Seeing movement in the distance, I focused on it and tried to see the group of people. They were working near a large building, what looked to be a barn. Nearly a dozen people were moving around, carrying stuff. I could just barely make out the horse-led wagon they were unloading.

I sighed and wondered how many places we'd visit would be like this. Something told me more than I could handle.

Maybe Vim's aversion for letting me help him was sourced from this... and he being the oddly gentle protector, simply didn't voice it aloud.

Maybe I couldn't help people. Maybe they'd not accept my help even if I could give it.

It was such a depressing thought it made me want to cry.

A voice echoed from out of the cavern, and I turned an ear to it. That was most likely Silkie's voice.

After a few echoes, another voice filtered in. A deeper, more solid tone.

Vim.

While staring at the dark cavern's entrance, I then heard a new sound. Something from behind me and...

Glancing behind, I glared at the silky tail that was slowly sliding back and forth.

Putting a hand on it, I grumbled as I got it under control.

What was I, a dog? I cannot believe it.

I had just been about to cry, growing depressed over the realization that most of the Society would hate me. Assuming who and what I was like, without reason. And the thoughts had been dreadful and worrying. My eyes had begun to water and...

Yet the moment I heard his voice...

"Keep it together Renn," I warned myself.

It's been a few days since I had... realized... That Vim was...

"Stop," I said, and then noticed that the talking in the cave died down.

Woops... they had probably heard me.

This was going to be awkward...

Standing up off the rock, I shifted as I watched shadows begin to move within. After a few moments, light appeared. A torch, held high, illuminating the larger woman who was guiding Vim.

She had a severe frown on her face as she exited the cavern, glaring at me as she went to putting out the torch's flame with sand.

While she did so, Vim emerged and sighed with a nod to me. "You alright Renn?" he asked me.

"Yes?" I asked. Was I not supposed to be?

"Of course she'd be! Who'd be able to hurt her here Vim?" Silkie asked, with a tone that was more of an accusation than not.

"The world is dangerous for all our members Silkie, even the strong," Vim said calmly.

"I'm fine," I said again, strong? Was I strong in Vim's eyes?

I really didn't feel it.

"Fha," Silkie made an odd noise and shivered, as if cold. Which should be impossible... she was covered in layers of clothing. Just a glance showed at least three, and they were thick. As if she was trying to appear far bigger than she already were.

"I'll be heading on then, Silkie, if there's nothing you'd like me to do," Vim then said.

Moving on? Already? Really?

I blinked and glanced at the woman, as she put the torch she had been using up against the cavern wall's entrance. There were a few other planks of wood there too, likely used similarly.

What had been in there?

"Nothing time and many hands can't do. You head on, find her a proper place and then help those who need it," Silkie said while ignoring me.

Although she sounded... off-put, I wondered how much of that statement was genuine. Did she really want me to find a home, or was she trying to say he needed to get rid of me as fast as possible so he could dedicate himself to helping those more deserving than I?

"I shall see you again in a few years then. Give my regards to the village," Vim said with a nod, seemingly unbothered.

Silkie nodded and then looked at me.

I stood up a little straighter, and regretted it. She flinched as I had done so, and looked away.

"Goodbye," I said as she turned and began walking away from us.

She didn't say anything, and I felt horrible. A part of me had hoped that we'd spend a week or two here, as Vim had done everywhere else. I had thought that maybe in that time I could earn their friendship or...

Vim sighed as he walked away from the cavern and up to me. He studied me as I watched Silkie walk back down the path towards the village. She walked in a hurry, and I knew it was because she was upset. Bothered and concerned. It was plainly visible in her stride.

She walked like a mother scorned.

"Do not let it bother you Renn. It should come as no surprise for a predator to be treated so," Vim then said to me.

Looking back at him, I hesitated a little. Was that worry? Worry for me? For some reason I didn't like that look.

It had hurt... but I wasn't so weak I'd die over it. He was looking at me as if I had been greatly injured.

"It... is sad. And I'll be honest, I'm bothered by it... but I understand it. Shelldon had never been willing to see me. Crane and Lughes had gotten scared simply because I had raised my voice and stood my ground," I explained.

Vim nodded, yet that look didn't seem to ease.

What was he thinking, while staring at me like that?

Then I felt it. Something dripped on my forearm.

Looking down, I sighed at the realization that I had been crying.

"Again?" I asked myself. I had thought I had actually controlled it and kept it down...

"Again," Vim said gently, sounding almost as if he had been the one to cause it this time.

Wiping my face off, I groaned and knew I was doing a poor job of proving myself.

I wanted Vim to let me help him. To join him and let me help protect our people. The Society.

Yet what kind of protector cried over such a thing so easily? To weep just because people didn't like me?

What kind of man would want someone so weak alongside him?

"Come, let's go. If we head out now we'll get over the mountain before sundown," Vim said, choosing not to say anything as I dried my eyes.

"Okay," I agreed.

Turning to follow Vim down the path, back towards the village, I hoped we'd not actually pass through it again. Although I kind of wanted to look at it and the people more... another part of me didn't.

Before leaving the area, I glanced one last time to the cavern.

"What had been in there?" I asked him.

"A member of our Society. The ruler of this valley," Vim said.

"Ruler?" I asked. So... like Shelldon maybe? Someone who hid away at all times?

"A very powerful rodent. His name is Tor," Vim said.

"A..." I hesitated. "A rodent?"

Vim nodded. "He's about this big," Vim held up both hands, palms open, and showed what was probably about the size of my foot.

"Uh..." I wasn't sure of what to say. Was he being serious? He had a small smirk on his face and...

"He lives beneath the mountain. Doesn't like the sun. He also oddly likes the damp and wet..." Vim frowned as he spoke, as if he was thinking of this rodent for the first time and trying to understand it.

"Uh..." I still wasn't sure of what to say.

"He's a good man. A little... old. He only cares about this valley. He'll never leave it. But all of our members who live here will be safe thanks to him for as long as he lives," Vim said.

"He protects the valley?" I asked. A small rodent did?

Vim nodded.

"Were you being serious about his size?" I asked.

"Yes. He's not humanoid. He's the genuine article," Vim said with a glance at me, he must have heard my confusion.

"Oh. I see... I wish I could have met him," I said.

"Maybe next time," Vim said.

Blinking at those words, I wondered if that was a dismissive thought to end such a topic, or genuine.

"Is he stronger than you?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked back.

Smiling softly I shrugged. "Just want to know. If he is, maybe that means you're something a rodent hunts?"

Vim's eyes stayed focused ahead of us, and didn't glance at me, but he did seem to relax a little. "I killed his brother and sister, if that's any reference for you," Vim said.

Slowly coming to a stop, I watched Vim walk for a few feet before also pausing as to look at me. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what was wrong.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"They were... cruel. To him. To everyone," he said simply.

Cruel. That meant either evil or too dangerous for the Society to leave alone.

They had probably not agreed with the Societies rules and morals.

"And... he's okay with that?" I asked, thinking of my own siblings.

I thought of the one who had killed them, and found myself hating them. Despising them.

"He's the one who asked me to do so," Vim said simply, and turned back as to go back to walking.

Hesitating for a moment, I found the nerve to follow him after a moment.

Yes. I could understand that.

"Somehow Vim, sometimes the things you say shake me to my core," I said once I was back next to him.

"You're the one who asks the questions," he said.

I nodded. I had been. But...

"But I had meant my original question as more of a joke. You hadn't needed to answer so seriously," I said.

He frowned and shook his head. "I don't hide such facts. Unless asked to, of course. I believe doing so belittles the deed. Insults those who suffered and the ones I killed all the same," he said.

Slowly nodding, I somehow found such a belief to be... rather Vim-like. It fit him.

"Does it happen often?" I asked him.

"Being asked not to? Not really. To be honest most involved don't survive the event, so..." he shrugged.

"Ah. I meant, are you often asked to kill someone's family?" I asked carefully.

"Luckily no. But it does happen. Regrettably most who go down that path... kill their family before they can ask me to save them. But..." Vim went quiet for a moment, seemingly pondering something. "It does happen enough, however," he then added.

That meant he had tried to think of all the times it had... and found himself remembering more and more.

I gulped a heavy thought and was glad to see Vim take a left instead of a right, once we reached the end of the path.

We'd head away from the village then, around the fields... instead of walking through it.

Thank goodness.

Walking towards a great field of green stalks, about as high as my waist... I wondered what they were. They looked like heavy blades of grass, yet it was obvious the vegetable was just beneath the ground. Some of them were large enough the dirt at the ground looked... bulbous and odd.

"Family are the first to usually notice depravity. That family, in Ruvindale... Primdol," Vim then brought up.

I nodded quickly. I had asked him what had happened but he hadn't told me. Was he finally going to?

"The father. Or Grandfather, whatever he had been... had been bedridden. He had known of his children's evil, but I don't think he was evil himself," Vim said.

"I... I see..." I said softly, waiting for more.

"In my eyes, a man who doesn't confront the sins of his children is just as liable for every sin they commit and then some. Since they have the ability to stop it. To deny the sin, before it even is born," Vim explained.

I slowly nodded, a little surprised to hear such a thing.

Nory and the others I had known, the religious ones... had always said that the sins of the father hadn't and didn't carry over. So this was... a different perspective.

One a little different from my own, too.

"Yet... life isn't so black and white. A parent's entire job is to protect their children. From anyone and anything... So in essence a parent that kills their own children is a failure. Many can't do it. Many fail to do so. Most do," Vim said.

I blinked as we walked along the green stalks. They smelled a little odd, but I was more focused on Vim than them.

He shrugged as he gestured before us, waving lightly. He wasn't actually pointing anything out, however. "If he had done his job, his duty, then Amber would be alive today. As would many others. Yet if he had done that... if he had nipped that evil before it had time to sprout, he himself would have committed evil as well. Which would have earned him the ire of many, if not most. It's a lose-lose situation," Vim said.

Gulping, I nodded.

Yes.

It was.

"Did you kill the child too?" I asked carefully.

"Child?" he asked with a frown.

"The Primdoll family. They had a young daughter, hadn't they?" I asked.

"She hadn't been that young. Probably a little younger than Amber had been," Vim said.

"Hm..." I was a little glad to hear it. They had originally spoken of her as if a young girl. A child, in the truest sense.

Yet... at the same time...

Amber had been a child too, in a way.

"I've come to choose the lesser evils myself, most of the time. It's... wrong of me, but..." Vim shrugged. "I'd rather kill one than have to burry hundreds. I can sleep with bloody hands, yet dirty ones keep me awake," he added.

Such a statement was a heavy one, coming from him.

It called back to what he had said about that young human family we met on the way here. The ones with the broken down cart.

He would have killed all of them, even the young daughter, if it was to protect us. The Society.

I... didn't like that. I understood it. Yet deep down it bothered me. After all... I felt we should be strong enough, great enough, wise enough, that a little human child couldn't threaten us even if they wanted to.

Yet Vim didn't see it that way.

"I can't say I agree with you Vim... but to be honest, the reason I don't is because I regret it," I said.

"Regret?" he asked, glancing at me.

"I failed to stop evil from sprouting, but I did stop it before it got worse. Before it became... disgustingly wrong. I regret doing so," I said, choosing my words carefully.

Vim kept walking, and I stayed next to him... but honestly I wanted to stop. To become still.

Rather I felt like I wanted to hide under the covers while in bed.

"You regret not stopping it before it became evil then?" he asked, trying to understand.

I shook my head. "I regret stopping it at all," I whispered.

Vim slowed, but didn't come to a stop. "You regret destroying evil...?" he asked, studying me.

"I... don't. I'd do it again. But I wish and pray I hadn't needed to. I wish I hadn't. I wish someone else had..." I hesitated and paused for a moment. Vim came to a stop too, to hold my gaze.

"I wish you had been there to stop it for me," I said to him.

He frowned, but his eyes seemed to relax. He seemed to understand.

I shrugged, and rubbed my arm. I suddenly felt cold.

"Maybe next time I will be," he then said.

I blinked, and nodded. Yes. I'd like that.

"Though I hope when I do, you don't look at me like that," he then said with a small smile.

He turned around as to return to walking, and I reached up to touch my face. It didn't feel odd, nor was it wet again. I hadn't cried... so...

Then my hands went upward, and I found it had been my ears. Sёarch* The nôvelFire.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

They were drooped lowly, almost oddly low.

Rubbing them, I focused on them for a moment until they returned to normal. Pointing upward, proudly.

Hurrying to follow Vim, since he had stepped away from me, I felt... a little proud of myself.

I hadn't told him of course. I hadn't said it. I hadn't revealed it.

But I had hinted at it. I had... actually spoken it aloud.

Something I had never told anyone... and even still, hoped I wouldn't ever have to.

Yet...

Studying Vim as he walked next to me, I found the way he studied the field of vegetables comforting. He looked peaceful, or at least at peace with himself.

If anyone could learn the truth, and not end up hating me... it was probably him.

Since after all, he probably had the same sins and failures.

The same mistakes.

"I wish I could have spent time with Silkie," I said, changing my mind's focus.

"Me too. If anything to see her lay an egg from stress," Vim said.

"Hmph."