Chapter 1158 Shaping The First Form (Part 2)
Instead of lending a hand to one of these countless fragments of Soul Power,Jake realized this moment was ripe for some deep, old-school introspection. The progression of his Aura presented an opportunity to dive into more existential inquiries, ones he hadn't yet had the chance to contemplate.
Why was he killing?
Why was he fighting?
Why was he risking his life in these Ordeals?
For survival? Most definitely, but wasn't that everyone's story?
Few knew the purpose of their existence, yet all understood at least why they didn't wish to die. As long as hope flickered, life was worth the struggle.
To grow stronger? Sure, this rang true, but it applied to every Evolver. Heck, every sentient being, no matter how lackluster or lazy, harbored a deep-seated ambition to either be the best or at least improve.
True Will of Growth, which Jake had also awakened, was just one of its myriad manifestations. This urge to evolve, to expand, wasn't always noble. Not entirely.
Often, the desire to be the strongest, to stand at the pinnacle, was closely tied to ego, to vanity. If it fulfilled no other existential purpose than to stroke our self-esteem, a yearning for recognition, status, or dominance, such ambition felt somewhat hollow...
And if Jake was not battling for his own life but to safeguard the lives of others? He acknowledged the truth in this as well, but knew better than anyone he was no hero. The fate of humanity or the universe left him cold, unlike the safety and well-being of those dear to him.
Even as the leader of a faction, deep down, Jake was indifferent to the fate of most of its members. It was his sense of duty, his moral compass, that drove him to act as a role model, yet beneath the surface, he was detached. As long as his family, Lucia, Will, Enya, Esya, Gerulf, and a select few others were okay, all would be well.
'All would be well..?' Jake's expression sharpened suddenly. He had stumbled upon a realization. Perhaps he wasn't as emotionally detached as he thought.
Growing stronger, killing, wasn't merely about vanity or insecurity, but also about protecting those who mattered to him. If all these people were to vanish, Jake doubted his resolve to push through all the trials would remain as strong.
When he tried to envision a life without Anya, his uncle, or Lucia, his expression darkened menacingly, a genuine, uncompromising killing intent seeping from his very being.
Jake had uncovered another aspect of himself. Losing everything wouldn't extinguish his will to fight or kill. Quite the opposite...
If that feared scenario were to unfold, he'd devote his existence to vengeance. If it meant killing, torturing, annihilating to ease his resentment, his grief, he'd turn demon without hesitation.
Yet, for this introspection to lead to an undeniable, clear-cut answer, Jake needed to probe even deeper. As he delved further into his psyche, confronting increasingly tragic scenarios, his once calm and relaxed visage gradually morphed into something more ominous.
When his expression could hardly grow more menacing, Xi's sad voice echoed in his mind, barely louder than a whisper,
[If I were to disappear, what would you do?]
Intent of Adaptation was certainly another avenue. It felt like combat adaptability might overlap with his inherent abilities. The potential synergy had vast, untapped potential, but in desperate times where his adaptability powers fell short, he doubted this Intent would make a significant difference.
As he considered this, Jake realized a significant issue with these Intents of Happiness, Freedom, and Adaptation: they focused primarily on him. On the battlefield, spiritual pressure played a crucial role in intimidating, overpowering enemies.
When it came down to which Intent was most useful for Directly support the authors on WebNovel!
defeating an enemy, True Will of Killing remained by far the most versatile: it not only increased the lethality of attacks but also allowed the aura itself to intimidate, paralyze with fear, and even inflict death independently of the fighter's spiritual pressure.
In the Mirror Universe, among equals, a soldier who had already killed stood a better chance against a newbie. This was even more true among Evolvers with a high Ordeal count.
Evolvers of mediocre power who had spilled oceans of blood to reach their status were far more dangerous than those chosen ones with high-grade bloodlines who had everything handed to them on a silver platter.
There was a saying among Players who had completed their fifth Ordeal: "If you've killed someone, you've finished the tutorial. If you've killed 100 enemies, you've proven yourself. If you've killed 10,000 enemies, you're respectable. If you've killed 1 million enemies, you're dangerous. If you've killed 100 million enemies, you're strong. If you've killed so many enemies that no one can count them anymore, you're invincible."
It might sound a bit cringeworthy and clichéd, but the idea was clear. Killing might only bring reputation in the initial stages, but when the number of victims reached staggering amounts, it became an objective measure of an Evolver's strength.
If Jake aimed to be the strongest, True Will of Killing remained an excellent choice.
'So in the end, I kill to be happy, I kill to be free, I kill to avenge those who've deprived me of those things,' Jake summarized in his mind, feeling he was on the verge of an epiphany.
This time, he didn't wait for Xi's prompting to continue the extrapolation, unpleasant though it might be. After vengeance... What comes next?
Jake felt lost at that moment, but soon he laughed, realizing he had already given Xi his answer.
"I'd still fight and kill to put an end to that suffering. If the tragedy that caused this suffering has already occurred and it's irreversible, then the suffering is, by definition, indelible. Such reasoning is whimsical and childish. I can change my future, not my past.
"Xi, you said I want to be the master of my destiny, right? You're implying that currently, I'm not in control, and it's true. There are still too many people stronger than me who can ruin my life and those of my loved ones with a snap of their fingers. It also means that no matter how much I prepare, if fate decides otherwise, I'm doomed to suffer if I encounter them too soon, before I've grown enough."
Xi didn't respond with the same enthusiasm this time. She wasn't sure where he was heading, even with their consciousness connection allowing her to sense his thoughts and emotions.
Jake noticed her confusion but didn't address it, continuing his line of thought,
"To conclude, Xi, you're right. I want to be the master of my destiny, but unless I'm omnipotent and omniscient, that's obviously impossible. I know there are Soul Classes and all sorts of mysterious bloodlines and abilities that can influence fate, but they're beyond my current reach. What I can do, however..."
Xi finally understood which Intent he wanted to choose for his Lumyst Aura, and if she had a body, she would definitely have shivered.
"That's right. It's to flip off my fate and tell it to go fuck itself when I don't like it." Jake declared with a smirk. "So, my First Form of Aura will be..."