Chapter 36

Alpha that doesn't want to be an Alpha [6]

As an Omega, Ruan Feifei was taught from a young age to find an Alpha that fits hers, to make a family, and reproduce.

But this sort of education did not make Ruan Feifei become like an Omega. Not only did she not want to have children, she even began to hate the fact that she was an Omega.

Obviously, she can do better than Alpha in other fields. Why is she doomed to marry and have children?

This sort of thinking drove Ruan Feifei to do things that other Omega cannot ever imagine. She used inhibitors to disguise herself as a Beta, mixed into the army, and even joined the front lines. The fact that her medical talent has enabled her to work as well as those around her reinforces Ruan Feifei’s belief——she will not be an Omega.

However, her physiological structure seemed to laugh at Ruan Feifei's naivety. When the estrus came, the inhibitors lost its function, and Ruan Feifei's whole body collapsed.

The fortune in the misfortune is the fact that she had taken early leave, and rushed home on her own.

However, Ruan Feifei’s Omega pheromone constantly attracted Alphas around her. This strong pheromone was enough to make the other Alphas irrational and Ruan Feifei could even feel the piercing gazes on her body.

This feeling made Ruan Feifei feel a sense of despair and she seemed to be a poor herbivore rushing wildly in the territory of the carnivores, a single misstep and she would be torn apart by the carnivores.

The more anxious she was, the more frenetic her actions became. Ruan Feifei stumbled and fell to the ground, scraping her palm and red blood flowed out——The blood was like a starter gun suddenly rung on the runway and made the Alphas following her lose control.

Ruan Feifei let out a scream as she was picked up by the waist making the sky spin. The Alpha who picked her up excluded an aggressive pheromone and he held Ruan Feifei firmly. No matter how Ruan Feifei struggled she could not break free.

"Don't——" Ruan Feifei shrieked, beating the man who carried her, tears running down her cheeks, her heart filled with uncontrollable despair. She's finished——her life——is over,

Ruan Feifei cried, her mind becoming chaotic because of her physiology and psychology. She couldn’t imagine what she would face if she was marked like this.

The Alpha carrying Ruan Feifei did not feel the slightest tenderheartedness at Ruan Feifei's crying and directly carried Ruan Feifei down a corner. Ruan Feifei's body gradually softened as she lost her strength she was carried away like a rag doll. She knew that everything is over……

"Feifei, Feifei." A low and familiar voice sounded out but Ruan Feifei's consciousness was muddled and unable to comprehend anything. She felt a hand lightly brush away her tears, the movement gentle.

"Feifei, are you alright?" An inhibitor was injected into her body once again, alleviating the pain of the estrus. Ruan Feifei gradually woke up from her stupor and her eyes finally had the focus to see what was happening before her clearly.

The Alpha who had taken her away had actually been tied up by a rose and thrown aside and Lu Yunqi, who should have been at home, was looking at her with worry.

"Wah!!!" Unable to bear it anymore, Ruan Feifei jumped into Chen Liguo's arms and held him firmly like grasping at the final straw. She cried, "Help, save me! I don't want to be an Omega, I don't want to be an Omega!"

Chen Liguo gently patted Ruan Feifei's back and calmed her emotions.

Ruan Feifei wept and choked with sobs, crying, "I'm scared, Yunqi, I'm so scared."

Chen Liguo said, "It's all right. It's all right." As he said this, he rubbed Ruan Feifei's head, saying, "I'm here."

Ruan Feifei looked at Chen Liguo with tears in her eyes and the nerves in her body finally relaxed——she fell asleep in Chen Liguo's arms.

Chen Liguo carried Ruan Feifei and prepared to go home.

That Alpha who had been tied up by him was angry and kept emitting whining sounds. Chen Liguo glanced at him and said, "If you like someone, then you have to chase after them properly, do you understand?"

That person: "……"

Chen Liguo said, "You acting like this, us over there will be castrated."

That person: "……"

Chen Liguo said, "Brother, I called the police, you take care." He did not untie the rope before he left.

That person: "Wu wu wu."

After picking up Ruan Feifei, Chen Liguo rushed home. The pheromone on the girl was like pollen, madly attracting passing bees and insects. If left outside, she would be gnawed down to the bones.

When he got home, Chen Liguo was about to open the door but found that the door was not closed and was a little surprised. His first thought was that Ruan Feifei forgot to close the door when she went out. He stepped in and heard Qin Buyue’s voice that was neither salty, not light, “Where have you been?”

Chen Liguo's body tensed and almost threw Ruan Feifei in his arms outside.

At this moment, Qin Buyue was behaving like a husband who caught his wife cheating with the next door neighbor. He glanced coldly at the Ruan Feifei in Chen Liguo’s arms and said, “Just for her?”

Chen Liguo: “……” He didn't speak and took Rauan Feifei, who was still sobbing, back to her bedroom.

Qin Buyue’s eyes were cold as he watched Chen Liguo’s movements. Although he did not say anything, anyone could see his dissatisfaction.

Chen Liguo put Ruan Feifei on the bed and was about to go out, but Ruan Feifei grabbed his arm. Ruan Feifei had tears in her eyes and looked very pitiful. She said, “Don’t go…”

Chen Liguo who was being stared at by Qin Buyue felt a thin layer of cold sweat on his back.

Ruan Feifei was still trembling from head to toe and said, "I'm scared——"

Chen Liguo sighed and rubbed Ruan Feifei's forehead, saying, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

Ruan Feifei gave a quiet 'mmm'.

"Hmph." Seeing this scene, there was an eccentric 'hmph' sound at the doorway and Qin Buyue sneered, "It turns out that you really do like her?"

Chen Liguo: "……"

Qin Buyue continued. “Right, as an Alpha, it’s normal to like an Omega.”

Chen Liguo ground his teeth and said, "Shut up."

Qin Buyue was even angrier when he heard these words. He said coldly, “Shut up? Lu Yunqi, what qualifications do you have to tell me to shut up?

Chen Liguo didn't want Ruan Feifei to hear too much of what she shouldn't know. When he saw Ruan Feifei falling asleep in a daze, he gently let go.

Ruan Feifei let out a snore and did not wake up again.

Chen Liguo got up and went to the door before said, “Let talk outside.”

Qin Buyue cast a cold look at Ruan Feifei and didn't make things difficult for Chen Liguo, agreeing to his proposal.

After going out, Qin Buyue's first sentence was, “You like her?”

Chen Liguo sat on the sofa like a solidified stone: “I only think of her as a sister.”

Qin Buyue said, "Oh?"

Chen Liguo: “What’s more, whether I like her or not, what does that have to do with you?.”

Qin Buyue said lightly, “You are my most satisfactory experiment, naturally it is relevant to me.”

According to reason, Chen Liguo should have been angry when he heard this, but he just pursed his lips and showed a slightly tense expression.

Qin Buyue looked at his expression and his heart inexplicably felt of regret, but he quickly dealt with this unnecessary emotion and said: “Lu Yunqi, you are mine.”

Chen Liguo slowly raised his head and gazed at Qin Buyue’s face. He said, “Let’s make a deal,"

Qin Buyue did not expect that Chen Liguo would suddenly offer to make a deal with him. He was a little interested and said, “What kind of deal?”

Chen Liguo said, "I will be your guinea pig."

Qin Buyue's pupils shrunk slightly.

Chen Liguo said, "Turn Ruan Feifei into an Alpha."

Qin Buyue heard Chen Liguo’s words and a wave of vigorous anger surged in his chest. His voice was cold as ice, “You——do you know what you are saying?”

Chen Liguo’s expression was calm as if he were talking about something unrelated to himself. He said, “Naturally I know.”

Qin Buyue shattered the glass tea table before him with a single punch and said, "Lu Yunqi, you are very good."

Chen Liguo looked down slightly and seemed to not want to look at Qin Buyue.

Qin Buyue nodded and laughed sarcastically, “Of course——why not, Lu Yunqi, if that’s what you want, why should I not promise you?”

Chen Liguo seemed to let out a breath of relief.

Qin Buyue turned his head and looked in the direction of the bedroom. He said, “Does she knows how much you’re paying for her?”

Chen Liguo said indifferently, “She doesn’t need to know.”

Qin Buyue nodded, “As per your wish.”

He left as soon as he finished speaking. Just by looking at his expression one could see that he was angered to the extreme.

Chen Liguo watched Qin Buyue leave. It wasn't until Qin Buyue slammed the door close heavily that his body slowly relaxed.

And so the two reached an agreement in this way.

Ruan Feifei slept for a long time, and even though it were just a dream, she was unable to sleep peacefully. Her mind was full of messy pictures, which made her feel extremely confused and panicked.

But in the depths of her consciousness, she heard a gentle voice comfort her which supported her mind and kept it from breaking down.

Ruan Feifei felt that the embrace was warm and voice was gentle. Her tense nerves finally relaxed and there were no more nightmares.

As if coaxing a child, Chen Liguo coaxed Ruan Feifei who was having a nightmare. This girl's stimulation was not small and it was estimated that it would take a long time for her to recover.

After Chen Liguo coaxed Ruan Feifei, he cooked a single person's worth of dinner——it was the leftover steak in the refrigerator, and the sauce was black pepper.

It was unknown as to what Chen Liguo was thinking. He ate the steak absentmindedly and when he finished the entire steak it seemed like he had finished prepping up his mind and asked the system solemnly, "Tongtong, turning into an Omega really doesn't mean cutting the Tintin off right?"

The system sneered, "Either way it doesn't work, what does it matter if it's cut off?"

Chen Liguo: "……" Its words were very reasonable and could not be refuted.

Chen Liguo said, "Even though it doesn't work, my heart can't pass this."

System: "How were you able to be so frank and straightforward when you agreed!?"

Chen Liguo's face reddened, "Was it not…..out of worry for Feifei?"

The system looked at the suspicious blush on Chen Liguo's face and doubted Chen Liguo's words.

Chen Liguo said, "After all, he has followed after me for so many years now with hard work and no merit. Isn't it a little ruthless to say 'throw away' and just throw?"

A long time passed before the system finally reacted to Chen Liguo's 'Tintin'. Its voice twisted and as it said angrily, “You go ask Qin Buyue yourself, I don’t know!”

After it said that it no longer let out a single peep. No matter how Chen Liguo called for it it didn't appear.

When Chen Liguo saw that the system was ignoring him he felt somewhat sad. In the past, the system would certainly answer his questions, but now it kept on ignoring him. This system's AI had problems.

When Ruan Feifei woke up the sky was already bright. In a trance, she remembered what had happened and her slightly rosy cheeks turned pale again.

Ruan Feifei slowly climbed out from bed and pushed open the door of the bedroom to see Chen Liguo sitting in the living room.

Chen Liguo had fallen asleep on the sofa. The golden sunshine fell upon his face, casting molted shadows. Without his usual indifference and seriousness, his expression looked very peaceful, simply like an angel that had fallen to the mortal world.

Ruan Feifei's eyes flickered for a moment and she called out softly, "Major General Lu."

Chen Liguo woke up in a flash, his eyes still dazed, apparently not yet completely alert, "You've woken up."

Ruan Feifei hummed in response, then recalled something and said embarrassingly, "Yesterday, I troubled you."

Chen Liguo said, "Do you feel better?"

Ruan Feifei nodded, then hesitated for a moment before asking, “Wh-what about that person from yesterday?”

It was only now that Chen Liguo recalled that Alpha whom he had tied up. He had wanted to go see today, but in the end, had fallen asleep……

Chen Liguo said, “He was tied up by me. He should be able to break free by himself if he calmed down.”

Ruan Feifei's eyes widened, seemingly scared by Chen Liguo's words.

Chen Liguo didn’t care at all what happened to that Alpha at this moment. Right now he had something more important to ask Ruan Feifei. He called out, “Feifei.”

Ruan Feifei responded softly.

Chen Liguo asked a question that changed Ruan Feifei’s entire life. He asked her, “Do you want to turn into an Alpha?”

Many years later, Ruan Feifei would remember Chen Liguo’s caution and solemness when he asked her this question, still able to recall the tenderness in his eyes at that time. But in those days, she would be brimming with hatred for her past self who was only able to see Chen Liguo's concern and did not notice his forbearance and determination.

Ruan Feifei thought she had misheard him and asked, “What did you say?”

Chen Liguo was very serious, and repeated clearly, "Do you want to turn into an Alpha?"

This really was a ridiculous question Ruan Feifei thought with a bitter smile. She said, "My biggest dream is to become an Alpha."

Chen Liguo was clear about this in his heart.

Ruan Feifei said, “But I also know that this is impossible.” From the moment she was born, she was destined to be an Omega for as long as she lives.

But Chen Liguo said, "I know someone."

Ruan Feifei was at a loss.

Chen Liguo continued, "He……can turn Omega into Alpha."

Ruan Feifei’s eyes lit up in an instant, her voice trembled as she tried to confirm, “From an Omega to an Alpha? Really?”

“Naturally it is true.” Chen Liguo spoke in a plain tone. Evidently, he had no intention of telling Ruan Feifei what he would pay for it.

Ruan Feifei shook her head and said it was impossible, but her expression was so excited that Chen Liguo could see at a glance that she thirsted for it.

Chen Liguo said, "Trust me."

Ruan Feifei believed, she felt that Chen Liguo would never lie to her.

Chen Liguo sighed: “But being an Alpha comes at a price. You won’t be able to have your own children.”

Ruan Feifei’s excitement did not diminish.

Chen Liguo rubbed her head and said, “Feifei, I’ll give you three days to think about it, okay?”

Ruan Feifei wanted to say, 'I don’t need to think about it. I wish I could be Alpha right away.' But facing the slightly melancholy expression before her, she couldn't say anything. She said, “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Chen Liguo understood at heart that she had already made her decision.

This three day period was just as much for Chen Liguo as it was for Ruan Feifei. Although Chen Liguo really wanted to find Qin Buyue to confirm whether or not his little brother could stay, his remaining shame prevented him from doing so.

In this side, Chen Liguo and Ruan Feifei were caught a sweet torment, but on the other side, Qin Buyue really was being tormented. He hadn't expected for Chen Liguo to actually be willing to turn from an Alpha into an Omega for Ruan Feifei.

In Qin Buyue’s view, he would rather die than turn from an Alpha to an Omega.

Then this meant that Chen Liguo was willing to choose something worse than death for Ruan Feifei. What does this mean? Did it mean that Ruan Feifei was more important than his own life?

At the thought of this, Qin Buyue's mood became extremely bad. He learned from Chen Liguo what he still needed to think about it for three days.

In these three days, Qin Buyue even thought of how great it would be if Chen Liguo would refuse him.

Qin Buyue felt that this sort of thought was ridiculous. He had always wanted to transform Chen Liguo into what he wanted, but now that the day has come, he was a little scared.

For all three of them, these three days seemed to drag past like a year.

Ruan Feifei didn't want to delay for a single moment, Qin Buyue longed for Chen Liguo's refusal, and Chen Liguo was worried about his little brother.

Coincidentally, all three of them slept for less than a few hours in these three days. Ruan Feifei and Qin Buyue were tormented by various thoughts in their minds and could not sleep at all. And as for Chen Liguo?

Chen Liguo rubbed, rubbed, and then rubbed some more but couldn't get hard. Slept for a bit, then continued to rub, rub, and rub.

The system was about to collapse because of Chen Liguo, "Just what are you trying to do?!"

Chen Liguo: "In case it needs to be cut, I need to check if I can still use it before it gets cut."

System: "It won't get hard!!! Can you not just calm down!!!"

Chen Liguo: "Is it possible to be calm about such a thing?! This is even more frightening than amputation!"

System: "……It won't be cut, stop rubbing!"

Chen Liguo: "Is this real or not, don't lie to me."

System: "Not lying to you!"

Chen Liguo: "Oh, then I'm going to sleep." The moment he finished speaking he closed his eyes.

Just as System loosened its mouth, it heard Chen Liguo’s quiet question: “Why didn't you say so earlier if it isn't going to be cut……..”

System: "……"

Chen Liguo: "I almost rubbed until my skin broke."

The system gnashed its teeth in anger, "I told you before, it was you who didn't remember!"

Chen Liguo scratched his hair and felt as though he had some faint impression of this. He said, "It does seem to be so, oh."

The system waited for a long time but Chen Liguo didn't speak and then it saw that Chen Liguo had actually fallen asleep.

System: "……" AhAhAhhh!!!! It's going crazy!!!

The three-day appointment arrived and the three met at Chen Liguo's house.

There was a strange atmosphere between them. Qin Buyue was gloomy, Ruan Feifei was excited, and Chen Liguo was in high spirits.

It was Qin Buyue who spoke first. He said, "Have you thought about it?"

Chen Liguo hummed.

Ruan Feifei's gut feeling told her that there was something wrong between the two, but she had already lost her mind with the joy of being able to become an Alpha and didn’t delve any further.

Qin Buyue looked at Ruan Feifei and almost instantly confirmed that Chen Liguo had never told Ruan Feifei about his own matter. Otherwise, Ruan Feifei would not show such an excited expression. He said, “If you've decided then sign this,” he said this then took out a document from a folder and placed it in front of Ruan Feifei.

Ruan Feifei took a look at the document and found that it was a confidentiality agreement. Generally speaking, it said that Ruan Feifei’s operation was confidential and could not be disclosed to others. After the operation, Ruan Feifei would get a new identity, an Alpha identity. This also meat that Ruan Feifei would no longer be Ruan Feifei when the agreement was signed.

Ruan Feifei did not realize that there would be such a document and hesitated for a while.

Qin Buyue said coldly, "If you don't even understand this, what's the use of being an Alpha."

Chen Liguo wanted to speak but then said nothing. Instead of persuading Ruan Feifei, he said gently, "No matter what you choose, I will support you."

Ruan Feifei looked at Chen Liguo and said, “Major General Lu, why are you so kind to me?”

Chen Liguo said, “Probably because you look like my sister.”

Ruan Feifei seemed relieved when she heard this. She was afraid that if Chen Liguo liked her, she would not be able to give him a response.

Ruan Feifei said, “Thank you, Major General Lu.”

Qin Buyue watched the two interact, the hand holding the pen squeezed with more and more force.

Ruan Feifei picked up her pen and smoothly signed her name on the document.

"Pa" the pen in Qin Buyue's hand snapped.

Ruan Feifei called out hesitantly, "Mr. Qin?"

Qin Buyue gave her a cold look and said, “Don’t regret it.” It was unknown whether this 'Don’t regret it' was said for Chen Liguo or for Ruan Feifei.

Ruan Feifei heard this and wondered how she could ever regret this. But she did not know that in the near future, she would regret this to the point of collapsing and even wish that she could go back in time.

Qin Buyue took the documents and left, slamming the door behind him.

Chen Liguo’s eyebrows carried some exhaustion, but he looked at Ruan Feifei with a tender expression——At the moment of signing the document, the progress bar on Ruan Feifei’s head changed directly from zero to ninety. It was estimated that after the operation, Chen Liguo would be able to leave the world.

Chen Liguo sighed in his heart, Ruan Feifei was such a lovely little girl. This world seemed to be the one he needed to spend the least time on……

Ruan Feifei was stuck in the excitement of being able to become an Alpha. She had thought that it was just an unreachable dream, but now because of Chen Liguo, it was about to come true.

Ruan Feifei looked at Chen Liguo who was sitting on the sofa lost in thought. Unable to control her excitement, she gave Chen Liguo a big hug and said 'thank you, thank you'.

Chen Liguo pat her on the shoulder but didn't respond with even a single word.

Qin Buyue was a very efficient person. Now that he has reached an agreement with Chen Liguo, he quickly began to work on transforming Ruan Feifei.

Transforming an Omega into an Alpha is more difficult and takes longer, but the technology is completely mature and there is no risk. The only problem is the high cost.

Of course, Chen Liguo is not worried about these things. After all, he is a man with a nine-figure savings deposit.

Soon Ruan Feifei was picked up by someone sent by Qin Buyue. Shortly after that, the military doctor, Ruan Feifei, was accidentally killed in a battle. Since then, Ruan Feifei has not been Ruan Feifei.

Chen Liguo’s house was empty again. Qin Buyue did not take advantage of Ruan Feifei's departure. On the contrary, there was no news from him.

Chen Liguo inexplicably felt a little sad and he could only be alone with the system.

Qin Buyue had disappeared, vanishing for half a year. Just when Chen Liguo thought that he would not appear again, he came out again.

It just so happened that Chen Liguo was out shopping at that time. When he came home, he saw Qin Buyue sitting on his sofa.

Chen Liguo eyed his lock silently and found that it was intact——It could be said that Qin Buyue had opened the door with the key last time he came……

Qin Buyue said, "You've come back?"

Chen Liguo said, "Mhmm."

Qin Buyue said, “What did you buy?”

Chen Liguo said, "Groceries."

Qin Buyue laughed and said, “Your words are just as few as before.”——few words, the system wanted to laugh when it heard that.

Chen Liguo did not answer. He opened the refrigerator and began to sort out what he had bought.

Qin Buyue asked curiously, “Seeing me, are you not the least bit nervous?"

Chen Liguo said lightly, “What is there to be nervous about?”

Qin Buyue loved this natural attitude of Chen Liguo's. He walked up to Chen Liguo's back and wrapped his arms around his waist, saying, "Did you miss me?"

Chen Liguo answered honestly in his heart saying that he missed him very much. Every night that System ignored me, I missed you so much. But naturally, it was impossible to admit this aloud so he didn't say anything.

Qin Buyue said, “Ruan Feifei’s surgery is over.”

Chen Liguo’s body stiffened.

Qin Buyue breathed lowly in Chen Liguo’s ear and said, “She has become an Alpha like you.” When he finished saying this, he took out a picture from his bosom and handed it to Chen Liguo.

Chen Liguo took it and saw a woman in a military uniform on it, her features brimming with a heroic spirit. Although the shadow of Ruan Feifei can be vaguely seen, even if she were seen by familiar people, it is estimated that few would recognize her.

Chen Liguo’s first thought when he saw this picture was——Ruan Feifei has become an Alpha, so why hasn't he left yet?!

Qin Buyue said, “Do you like her?”

Chen Liguo put the picture in his pocket, “I only think of her as a sister.”

“Sister.” Qin Buyue reached into Chen Liguo’s clothes and slowly kneaded Chen Liguo’s waist. He sneered, saying, “I'd fancy having a brother like you.”

Chen Liguo pursed his lips, his expression somewhat tight.

Qin Buyue said, “What, not happy?”

Chen Liguo didn't speak.

Qin Buyue, however, seemed to be somewhat disappointed and directly let go of Chen Liguo. He went to the box he brought with him, took out a drug in a tube from it and handed it to Chen Liguo, “Use it yourself.”

Chen Liguo said, “What is this?”

Qin Buyue laughed scornfully, “Could it be that you forgot the deal you promised me?”

Chen Liguo seemed to remember something and his ears turned red. With shaking hands he slowly took Qin Buyue's drug.

Chen Liguo said, "How is it used?"

Qin Buyue beamed at him and said, "It's fine to just drink it."

Chen Liguo gritted his teeth and stared at the drug for a long time, refusing to do it……. This medicine looks so strange, it won't have any other functions, would it?

"Is it possible to not drink it?" Chen Liguo was evidently reluctant.

Qin Buyue said, "Hrmm? Just what was it that you promised me?"

Chen Liguo showed a humiliated look, but in the end, did not resist Qin Buyue and drank the drug reluctantly.

Qin Buyue just watched on. If it wasn't for the tent that had already popped up in a certain place, Chen Liguo would have thought that he really was as calm as he was showing.

Compared to Qin Buyue, Chen Liguo was much calmer. In this past six months, he had pretty much cut off from his sexual life.

The eyes which Qin Buyue looked at Chen Liguo with were filled with satisfaction. He liked Chen Liguo’s waist, Chen Liguo’s legs, and liked a certain hot part of Chen Liguo even more.

Chen Liguo’s reaction excited him. Qin Buyue said hoarsely, “Hurry up.”

Chen Liguo began to pant lowly, his wheat-colored skin carrying an ambiguous blush.

Qin Buyue couldn’t endure it anymore. He grabbed Chen Liguo pressed him down on the sofa directly.

It wasn't until the next evening that everything was over.

This time, both of them were tired and paralyzed. Qin Buyue held Chen Liguo in his arms and slept soundly.

Chen Liguo closed his eyes and savored the aftertaste. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he said to the system, “I made up for six months in a single day.”

System: "……"

Chen Liguo said, “How's Ruan Feifei?”

The system said, "It's estimated that it's almost full."

Chen Liguo sighed sadly, "Ai——The next one."

System: "……" The fuck does his 'next one' mean, is it the next world or the next man?!

Chen Liguo didn’t understand the raging anger in the system's heart. He looked at Qin Buyue's cute sleeping face then shifted over and gave him a kiss before falling asleep. In any case, the days all need to be lived through, no matter how sorrowful and difficult, they need to be lived.