CH 14

Since that rainy night, the young lord of House Reuning hadn’t visited the Lafferty family for a long time. Only rumors reached them, and time passed ruthlessly and emotionlessly.

Both the Count and Countess were exhausted, and their daughter, Rosalie, had completely lost her usual determined spirit.

But that day, the Count and Countess Lafferty and Rosalie went out for the first time in a long time at the invitation of a certain marquis’ family. It was not just for socializing, but one could guess without thinking too deeply that it wasn’t just for socializing, but also for some kind of negotiation regarding the selection of the guardian.

Wisteria was left alone in the mansion in their absence. She wasn’t left behind out of ill will. It was just that she had received a notice addressed to her and had decided to meet the other party alone.

“I would like to talk to you alone about the ongoing matter.”

A servant of the Reuning family conveyed none other than Bright’s intentions to her.

When Wisteria received the message, she had lost her presence of mind to the point of misery.

(What, now?)

She even felt a twinge of resentment. ——But it was too self-centered a feeling.

She had wished for Bright willfully, had hoped for him willfully, and had had her hopes shattered before she could tell him those wishes.

From Bright’s point of view, it was something he had absolutely no knowledge of, and it could even be said to be a nuisance.

——If that was the case, what was Bright going to tell her?

Wisteria smothered her ugly feelings and waited for his visit.

When she came face to face with Bright, who had lost his light, Wisteria was confronted with her own foolish assumptions.

“Go to the Land of the Unknown in Rosalie’s place.”

When Bright said this, coldly but with firm determination, Wisteria was left with only one option.

(…Is this punishment?)

Because, shallowly, she had wished Bright to be her partner.

Because she had such ugly feelings for Rosalie.

Even though she was supposed to understand her place because she was an adopted child.

She couldn’t give Rosalie her blessing, and in fact, she felt a horrible joy that Rosalie would be chosen as the guardian of the “Land of Grey Dawn”, and that she and Bright would be torn apart.

“I’m sorry.”

Bright only responded with a single word. His large hands, so white with force that they seemed to be about to break through the skin, became even more forceful.

It was the face of someone who had decided that he was ready to accept any blame and hatred.

Because of his efforts to save Rosalie, Bright was convinced that he had no other choice.

——Because of his efforts, he realized the possibility of Wisteria as a substitute.

Therefore, he was prepared to sacrifice everything else for Rosalie.

Wisteria was torn into a thousand pieces as she realized the ruthless strength of the man she loved, as it was turned against her.

(This is…)

Her throat choked up and the backs of her eyes ached as if she had been stabbed. She bit down on a shuddering breath and pressed her lips together.

The silence was so heavy that it didn’t even allow her to breathe.

She repeatedly choked back my breath and let past the things that surged up within her and the pain that felt like blood gushing out.

The remnants of the love that had just been shattered were again raging in my chest, shredding the tender spot.

She didn’t want to cry. Crying would really make her pathetic. 

(I…)

Staring at the man who remained silent, Wisteria felt as if she were being shattered from the inside out. The core of my head was freezing up. ——She didn’t want to think about it, but her head was running ahead on its own.

What would happen if she rejected Bright’s words right then and there?

What would be left if Rosalie went to her death and was torn apart from Bright and her parents?

What would be left would be a man in despair over the loss of his beloved, and good parents in despair over the loss of their beloved daughter, whom they were related to by blood.

——And a cold-blooded sister who refused to go to her death in Rosalie’s place. Only Wisteria, the shameless adopted child of a rare good Count and Countess.

Bright would never turn to her again.

She would never again be given the warm smile and kindness of her adoptive parents.

With a feeling as if everything in the world had lost its color, Wisteria realized this.

——It seemed that this had already been decided when Bright had chosen Rosalie, when Rosalie had been chosen to be sacrificed.

If she truly wanted to thank and reward her adoptive parents for their warm welcome.

If she knew her place in regards to the beloved daughter that her adoptive parents truly loved.

There was now only one answer.

Even if it was not for these reasons, Wisteria had a constitution unlike any other.

Wisteria turned away from the head of the man who seemed to be wearing a silver crown.

“…I understand.”

She heard the man catch his breath faintly.

“I will speak to the Count and Countess and to the Institute of Magic. Please…keep Rosalie safe.”

“Wis…”

Bright’s voice was painful and sounded like he was spitting out blood. Wisteria had never heard him sound like that before.

“You truly are a kind person——”

The voice and figure of the boy in her memory, when he did not know any gloom, overlapped with the young man in front of her and disappeared.

In a world that had lost its color and temperature, Wisteria laughed weakly.

She laughed at her own foolishness this time.

“——I should have came up with it myself. I’m sorry you were forced to say it.”

Bright’s face twisted as if he had been cut deeply. He clenched his teeth hard as if he was about to say something, and only repeated, “I’m sorry,” as if he were groaning.

For just a few beats, a silence fell as if the world had stopped.

As Wisteria wobbled to her feet, she heard a low voice from the hanging silver head.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything I can do for you.”

He sounded like he was suppressing his emotions strongly.

Just knowing this, Wisteria felt her heart waver pathetically.

——If she sacrificed herself, would she be able to leave an indelible scar on this man’s heart? Would she be able to occupy even a small part of his heart in the form of guilt or regret?

It would be easier he would just let her hate him, but she knew that he was being tormented by self-loathing when he was offering her as much sincerity as he had right now.

Perhaps if she asked him to offer up his life now, Bright would really do so.

She was about to say, “Nothing,” but stopped with my lips thinly parted.

There was nothing anymore.

——Because you won’t look at me anymore.

But Wisteria’s lips betrayed her heart, and she spoke her final wish. 

“Just once…will you embrace me?”

Bright’s shoulders shook faintly, and for a brief, startled moment, he looked up.

His golden eyes widened and he looked at Wisteria. But for a moment, there was neither hesitation nor anguish in his eyes.

This made Wisteria even more miserable. Unable to bear it, she turned away.

It was too stupid to say. She knew Bright’s sincerity, she knew his feelings for Rosalie, and she was going to test them.

There was a rustling of clothes, and Bright stood up.

“I’m sorry. I shall be―”

Taking my leave. Wisteria took a step back as though recoiling and was about to leave the room.

But she could not.

She was pulled by an arm and their bodies collided with each other. A faint fragrance tickled her nostrils.

A warmth enveloped her body. Her back and waist were held tightly by large arms. As though even the smallest gap was unbearable.

A large hand cupped the back of her black hair. Long fingers dived into her hair.

She was pressed against broad shoulders.

The arms, which even feel a little rough, were certainly passionate.

“…!”

With her forehead pressed against Bright’s shoulder, Wisteria’s face twisted. Her throat trembled, and tears flowed from her shut eyelids.

The heat that she had dreamed of―it was the body that she had yearned for.

(I love you so much.)

——Even now.

Again and again, her heart cried out. The accumulated time and the memories stored in my heart, flashed across her mind in pieces. 

“Are you Wisteria? What a unique eye color, let me take a closer look—oh, how beautiful they are.”

The day they first met. When she saw the lively boy’s luminous smile, she knew her heart was his.

She almost lifted her hands to hug him back, but stopped.

——She knew that she was not the one who should touch this large back, not the one to respond to the dizzyingly sweet and fierce arms.

Instead, she clenched her hands tighter and brought them down. Every sob, she squeezed down and killed.

She closed her eyes and let her whole body take in Bright’s tenderness, misery, and the warmth of his body.

Even if it felt as if the arms that embraced her had a quiet force in them.

(Farewell.)

She choked back the sobs that welled up in her chest, and told him that in her heart.

In a world so quiet that only the sounds of their breathing and heartbeats could be heard from their touching bodies, she repeated her parting words over and over again.

Then, after forcing the trembling to subside, Wisteria raised her face slightly and rested her forehead on his broad shoulders.

“…Thank you.”

The man’s arms trembled slightly when she whispered that in a muffled voice. Wisteria moved, and as if on cue, the man’s arms loosened from the embrace.

She did not look up. Wisteria wrenched herself out of his arms and turned away. She left the room.

She did not look back.

She did not hear any voice telling her to stop.