CH 21

“Say it,” Xie Yilu begged Liao Jixiang. They were again standing on the narrow path by the creek. Xie Yilu pulled at Liao Jixiang’s sleeve playfully and refused to let him get away. “I’ve already told you mine.”

What Xie Yilu meant was his nickname, Xiao Song1. And as an exchange, he wanted to know the nickname of Liao Jixiang.

“I didn’t ask you to tell me.” Liao Jixiang evaded the question somewhat, his expression impatient, but he didn’t put up much of a fight. “Even if I told you, what difference would it make?”

Which is true. What difference would it make indeed? Yet Xie Yilu just wanted to know. “If you tell me, I’ll take it as you care about me.”

Yet another inappropriate remark, and once again, Liao Jixiang had that troubled expression on his face. Slowly, he lowered his head and muttered something. Xie Yilu was extremely sensitive to his voice, so he made out what he said on the first try, “Chi Xuezi2?”

Liao Jixiang blushed immediately, anxiously explaining, “It was given by the Elder Master3.”

It was actually a rather unique and delicate nickname, but the mere mention of the Elder Master made Xie Yilu sulky and unhappy, “No wonder it sounds so foolish and dull.”

Hearing him say that, Liao Jixiang fell silent again. So Xie Yilu eagerly endeavoured to please him, asking in an intimate manner, “Why don’t you apply the rouge I gave you?”

“Why should I use it?” Liao Jixiang turned the tables and made it difficult for Xie Yilu too. “I’m not a woman anyway.”

“Men can use it too.” Xie Yilu fixed his gaze on Liao Jixiang’s plump lips as if he was possessed. “Jin Tang uses it.”

Liao Jixiang noticed the way Xie Yilu stared at him, and turned away in embarrassment. “I’ve already scolded him about it. How improper and indecent of him to do so.”

How is that considered improper… Xie Yilu wondered in his heart, but dared not say it out loud. It was clear that he felt it a pity, which was so obvious that even Liao Jixiang regretted being harsh towards him. “Don’t buy those superficial objects next time. They’re gorgeous on the outside but worthless on the inside.”

Xie Yilu studied Liao Jixiang’s face. Liao Jixiang appeared to know the price of that box of rouge. He must have entrusted someone privately to investigate. Thinking about that, Xie Yilu felt a sweet sensation rising in his heart again. Sillily, he chuckled, making way for Liao Jixiang along the path.

“Why are you smirking so slyly,” Liao Jixiang pulled away from him readily and walked ahead along the path. While walking, he didn’t forget to turn his head and remind Xie Yilu, “Behave yourself.”

They walked one after the other, carrying similar troubles on their minds. April4 was exactly the right time for charming peach blossoms. Under the radiance of the golden sunlight, clusters and groups of blossoms gathered their beauty, like a pink mist covering Liao Jixiang’s head. Some branches were hanging low, brushing against Liao Jixiang’s shoulder like a young girl’s tender hand, teasing his loose long hair. Xie Yilu watched from behind, his eyes landing on that slender back under the shade of the peach blossoms. He wanted to touch it, but didn’t dare to stretch out his hand. Out of a whim, the thought on his mind that went astray accidentally slipped out of his mouth, “Like waters disguised in the elusive mists, I admire its ever-changing elegance and grace. My attempt to embrace it returned futile, my effort to scoop it was but vain!5”

Liao Jixiang heard it and knew Xie Yilu was referring to him. His heart raced in panic, and he hastily replied, “It’s… really getting hotter every day!”

He was hoping to divert the conversation, but Xie Yilu took him seriously. “Are you thirsty? I brought a water bag.”

Liao Jixiang wasn’t thirsty; he was flustered.

“It’s alright, you can drink all you want. I also brought a bowl with me,” Xie Yilu said as he reached into his sleeve6. Liao Jixiang turned around, looking at Xie Yilu somewhat confused, yet Xie Yilu grinned at him endearingly, “so that you can wash your hands later.”

As if Liao Jixiang’s gaze was nailed on Xie Yilu, his eyes remained motionless, blinking only after a considerable amount of time. Then, Liao Jixiang faced his back towards Xie Yilu again – it was the same shade of peach blossoms, the same slender back, but their meanings had changed. The back relaxed, as if Liao Jixiang had let down his guard.

Xie Yilu reached out, positioning his palm only half an inch away from that slender back, futilely feeling for the void in between. Suppose Liao Jixiang walked just a little bit slower, he would fall into Xie Yilu’s hand, fall into his grasp.

“Do you…” suddenly, Liao Jixiang asked, “often go to the riverside?”

He was referring to those pleasure boats7 sailing along the perfumed winds. Xie Yilu immediately withdrew his hand. “I’ve been there for officials’ gatherings,” he said, then added, “never spent the night there.”

Never spent the night there. Why did he bother to add that line? Liao Jixiang fell silent for a while, then softened his voice, “When you’re alone at night… don’t you feel lonely?”

“After reading and studying8 for so many years, I don’t feel lonely anymore,” Xie Yilu was conscience-stricken when uttering those words. It was true that he had not thought about women, yet he had thought about other things. Even now, he still felt a numbing sensation all over him, his legs enervated as he recalled that dream.

“Why do I feel that you are lonely,” Liao Jixiang stammered, referring to the occasional indecent language and the inappropriate gaze of Xie Yilu. “After all, you need a woman…”

Xie Yilu didn’t let him finish. “The people in your palace,” he worked up his courage, “aren’t they lonely at night?”

That was a taboo topic for eunuchs, but Liao Jixiang wasn’t angry. “What do you mean?”

How could he not understand what Xie Yilu meant? Yet he just wanted to shame him, force him to swallow his words. However, Xie Yilu uttered something even more inappropriate as if he was possessed, “You know… at night.”

Liao Jixiang stood still all of a sudden. He took a deep breath before finally speaking. “Some people… would find a palace maid, and some…” his voice might be recognised as peaceful, but his back was shivering, “would hold each other tightly, and spend a night together.”

“How…” Xie Yilu should have stopped the topic right there, but he didn’t, “How…”

He wanted to learn how the night was spent. Liao Jixiang bit his lip, abruptly turned around, and stared at Xie Yilu as if he had been bullied. “They would take off their clothes, crawl into bed, and touch each other frantically.”

An image of Liao Jixiang that fit the descriptions immediately appeared on Xie Yilu’s mind — naked, hair dishevelled, in the pitch-black bed, touched by a pair of hands…

“You, you too?” He sounded somewhat anxious, illogically anxious. Liao Jixiang had wanted to say something since a long time ago, and now in a moment of impulse, he asked, “What’s on your mind?”

“Huh?” Xie Yilu was indeed thinking of something obscene, and as he was startled by the attack of the sudden question, his face betrayed his thoughts.

“What’s on your mind?” Liao Jixiang asked again, but with a different meaning.

“I, I was thinking…” Xie Yilu panicked. He wanted to make something up, but failed because he wasn’t good at it. Profuse perspiration began to form on his forehead and back, and eventually Xie Yilu squatted down, covering his face once and for all, “Yangchun9, I’m wrong!”

About what Xie Yilu was thinking, Liao Jixiang had some vague idea, but he didn’t know what exactly was on Xie Yilu’s mind. Liao Jixiang was so enraged that his face turned red. “What did you do wrong?”

“I… I…” Xie Yilu struggled to find the words, he searched and searched, and unexpectedly blurted out, “I thought about you so much that I couldn’t sleep!”

Presently, if there was a crack in the ground, Liao Jixiang would most definitely squeeze and hide into it. “Nonsense!” He was just as bewildered as Xie Yilu, and because he was the innocent one, Liao Jixiang felt somewhat scared, too. “You’re shameless!”

“I know I’m wrong, truly wrong!” Xie Yilu grabbed the hem of Liao Jixiang’s robe and pleaded, “I’ll correct it, I’ll definitely correct it!”

The moment Xie Yilu mentioned “correct it”, Liao Jixiang forgave him. Or perhaps, Liao Jixiang never blamed him in the first place, he was just feeling baffled and was at a loss. “Then you’ll have to swear by the gods and Buddhas!”

“I swear!” Xie Yilu looked up at him so devoutly, that all he needed was to kneel down to complete the image of worship. “If I ever think of you without clothes again, I…”

Liao Jixiang looked at him appalled upon hearing “without clothes”, and Xie Yilu finally realised that he had spoken his mind, panicking, he immediately covered his mouth.

Dejectedly, Xie Yilu headed home. As soon as he entered the alley, he spotted a soft sedan chair parked in front of his house, which looked strangely familiar. Yet when he approached it, the attendants of the sedan chair didn’t talk to him. Thinking that they were probably waiting for someone nearby, Xie Yilu paid no attention, pushed the door open and entered the courtyard. But before he could turn around to close the door, someone tailed him inside and with a loud “bang” – the visitor slammed the door shut.

“Jin Tang?” Xie Yilu was surprised.

Jin Tang hesitated for a brief moment, and calling that “a brief moment” might even be too long. From Xie Yilu’s perspective, Jin Tang knelt down as soon as the door was shut with a loud “plop”, “Lord Xie10, save him!”

Xie Yilu couldn’t figure out what was going on, so he quickly helped Jin Tang up. “Get up and talk.”

Jin Tang refused. He reached into his chest pocket11 and fished out a piece of paper. Handing it to Xie Yilu, he said, “No one ever survived longer than twelve Shichen12 after falling into Tu Yao’s hands.”

The characters on the paper were crooked and distorted. Xie Yilu examined them for a while, “Is it… Qu Feng?”

Jin Tang nodded. “Received it before dawn. I’ve been waiting for your lordship the entire morning!”

Xie Yilu held the paper in his hands, but didn’t move. On one hand, he wondered how he should go about saving this person, and on the other hand, he wondered what would become of him once he saved Qu Feng.

“My lord,” Jin Tang seemed to have anticipated his hesitation. He held onto the hands holding the letter and said, “You and Qu Simu13 are best friends. At a dire moment of life and death, you cannot calculate the gains and losses!”

Naturally, Xie Yilu understood what he meant, but if he wanted to save Qu Feng, he had to beg for Zheng Xian’s favour14. Is there anyone in this world who offers help without asking for something in return?

“I need to think about it,” he replied. “Let me think.”

“There’s no time for thinking.” Jin Tang dreaded that he would weigh the pros and cons. “Even if you hurry over now, there’s no guarantee if he is still breathing!”

Liao Jixiang had warned him repeatedly that he shouldn’t get too close to the eunuchs, and Xie Yilu himself was aware, that there would be no turning back once he decided to go. “Suppose I saved him, who will save me?”

He spoke the truth, so true that even Jin Tang had no words left to say. Kneeling there, Jin Tang let go of his hand, his arms dropped helplessly.

“Go,” Xie Yilu suddenly called out to him, “go to the entrance of the alley and rent a horse.”

Jin Tang looked up, and Xie Yilu was already brushing past him, opening the door and leaving. “Go directly to the West Yamen to collect Qu Feng. If they ask, tell them it’s a direct order from Dugong15 Zheng!”

Thanks for reading! I think now it’s very clear why Tu Yao allowed Qu Feng to send the letter to Jin Tang. It’s because Qu Feng’s predicament can force Xie Yilu to side with Zheng Xian, exactly what they wanted since the very beginning. If you wish to discuss more about Da Dang with me, come and join my Discord here!

I’m truly happy to see new ratings and comments on Novel Updates! Thanks to all your support, I am getting more views for Da Dang! Da Dang is one of my favourite danmei and I truly wish more people would appreciate its beauty. Please help me rate or share Da Dang if you enjoy the book! It means the world to me!!

We will also get to see Xie Yilu and Liao Jixiang’s love unfold! These two met as close confidants via the letters in the stone lamp, and fell in love as they learnt more about each other. In future, they will also support each other and survive in the cruel establishment of the ancient Chinese court. Stay tuned!

Xiao Song, 小松, literally means “a young pine tree”. 

Chi Xuezi, 吃雪子, Chi means eat, and Xuezi can refer to snow or ice, so the nickname can be directly translated to “eating snowflakes”. 

The original word here is 老祖宗, Laozuzong, which is literally translated to “the elder ancestor”. This term is a reverent title towards older and powerful eunuchs. As eunuchs cannot father any biological children, it is common for young eunuchs to seek the protection of a powerful eunuch by becoming their “adopted son/grandson”. It pleases an eunuch to have as many “adopted offspring” as possible. Therefore, the elder eunuch is referred to as “the elder ancestor”. Since the “adopted sons/grandsons” still need to work for the elder eunuch and be filial to him, I took the liberty to translate 老祖宗 as “the Elder Master”. 

April here refers to the fourth month of the lunar calendar. 

The original text is 烟波渺漫，姿态横逸，揽之不得，挹之不尽. It is an excerpt from the book, Qu Lv, 曲律, which discusses the rules to writing poems, songs and operas. It is written by Wang Jide, 王骥德, in the Ming Dynasty. This sentence’s original intention was to demonstrate the importance of choosing ideal imagery and symbolisation in a poem, that the chosen imagery should contain meanings as if hidden behind a mist, which cannot be accurately discerned but should be interpretable from multiple angles. It should also be somewhat elusive and difficult to grasp fully, yet still within reach for the audience. I’m quite proud of my translation of this sentence hahaha:) 

There are pockets in the large sleeves and the chest area of ancient Chinese clothing. The wide sleeves, for instance, may only have a small opening, and the rest of the sleeve is sewn to form an enclosed pouch to store small objects, such as the picture here. When the upper garment is tied together around the waist, an empty space can be formed in between the two layers, which can be used as a pocket as well.  

The original term here is Huafang, 画舫. It’s a type of boat with extensive carvings and luxurious decorations. These boats were often booked by the rich and powerful, who would bring their harlots and performers along for entertainment as they sailed along the river. There are still Huafang along the famous rivers in China now, although they’ve become more of a tourist attraction. 

In ancient China, boys as young as three or four years old will start to learn Chinese characters and simple passages. Their standard textbooks are collectively known as Sishu Wujing, 四书五经, Four Books and Five Classics. These are the classics of Confucianism and would be tested in the Imperial Examination, Keju, 科举. It takes tremendous effort and time to achieve the best grades in the exams.

The exams usually have four stages. Entry-level examinations, or Tongshi, 童试 (children’s exam), is literally held for teenage boys every year locally. Next, Provincial examination, or Xiangshi, 乡试, is held every three years for selected candidates in provincial capitals. Then there is Metropolitan examination, Huishi, 会试, which is held every three years in the national capital. Lastly, successful candidates will be invited to Palace examination, Dianshi, 殿试, which is held every three years in the imperial palace and often supervised by the emperor himself (The emperor might pick the good-looking ones and give them a better grade, or choose a future husband for his princesses. The grades in the Palace exams might also depend on the mood of the emperor). Note: these exams might be postponed due to war, astronomy, or death of an emperor. Additional rounds of exams can also be held if a new emperor takes the throne, or there are national celebrations. As a result, in most cases, it takes a man about 7 to 10 years to finish a complete round of exams, which is why we have the term Shinian Hanchuang, 十年寒窗, (to sit by a cold window and study diligently for ten years).  

Yangchun, 养春, Liao Jixiang’s courtesy name. 

Although Xie Yilu doesn’t have a title or land that befits a lord, Jin Tang is flattering here as he hopes Xie Yilu can help to save Qu Feng. 

There are pockets in the large sleeves and the chest area of ancient Chinese clothing. The wide sleeves, for instance, may only have a small opening, and the rest of the sleeve is sewn to form an enclosed pouch to store small objects, such as the picture here. When the upper garment is tied together around the waist, an empty space can be formed in between the two layers, which can be used as a pocket as well. 

Shichen, 时辰, a time unit in ancient China. One Shichen is roughly 2 hours.  

Simu, 思慕, is Qu Feng’s courtesy name. Simu means “to always remember and recall with passion and yearning”. 

This is because Tu Yao works for Zheng Xian.  

The original text here is Dugong, 督公, an unofficial title for powerful eunuchs.