Chapter 192 - I don't want to sleep anymore

"Urgh..." The little boy groaned. He then grabbed onto Head Manager Han's hand and cried, "I don't want to sleep anymore..."

As he watched the nurse approach him with the medical cart, an indescribable fear suddenly crept up onto his face, and the smile and happiness from earlier were gone as Tay Dingxuan cried pitifully, "No... I don't wanna!" 

The nurse glanced at Dr. Wing, who in turn glanced at Head Manager Han. 

Under their gazes, Head Manager Han gently removed the IV drip that was connected to Tay Dingxuan's body. He then carried the boy up in his arms and walked to the window, where they looked down at the bright city. 

Even though he did not show it, Head Manager Han felt a pang of sadness. When he first met Tay Dingxuan, the boy was at a normal weight... and now, he was so thin that Head Manager Han could easily lift him up with two fingers. 

"Why don't you want the medicines, Dingxuan? It will help you with the pain..." he whispered softly as he gently caressed the boy's back. 

Tay Dingxuan buried his face in Head Manager Han's shoulder as he whispered back, "I want to play with you longer..."

"I'll stay with you until you sleep... We can play until then."

"But I don't want to sleep..." Tay Dingxuan cried softly. "I'm barely awake nowadays..."

"Dingxuan..." 

"The boy next door... He passed away last week. He said he would play with me after his nap, but he never woke up. He went to sleep, and a few days later, his room was cleared out. I was only playing with him a few days before," Tay Dingxuan said while looking up at Head Manager Han's face. "What if I end up like him? What if I sleep and never wake up again?" 

Head Manager Han did not know what to say to him. They discovered the cancer at a late stage, and no matter what treatment they did, the cancer cells were spreading at an alarming rate. Head Manager Han had tried to find a match by offering an anonymous reward, but so far, nothing came up. 

He might be cruel to his mother, but Head Manager Han knew that the little boy in his arms was innocent. Even though he told his mother that he would never test himself out, he had actually secretly tested himself out. This had happened a long time ago, even before his mother came to plead for his help. 

Head Manager Han had not only kept tabs on his brother, but his mother as well. 

Unfortunately, he was not the right match. 

"I don't want to sleep and never see you again..." Tay Dingxuan continued as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "What if I have something to say to you, but I can't say it in time?"

"I'll always be here with you, even if you can't see me..." Head Manager Han said softly. 

"That's what a.d.u.l.ts said." 

With Tay Dingxuan still in his arms, Head Manager Han then walked to the collection of teddy bears, which ranged from various colors and sizes, and pointed to the biggest one. Every time he visited Tay Dingxuan, he brought him a teddy bear.

"See this giant teddy bear?" Head Manager Han whispered. 

"Yeah?" 

"There's a camera inside... At night, when you're sleeping, Dr. Wing would charge it... She would then give me the recordings so that I can see what you've been doing. That's how I know if you have been good or not." Head Manager Han then looked at Tay Dingxuan. Taking Tay Dingxuan's little hand, he rubbed it gently against his chest as he said, "If you miss me, then you can say it to the teddy bear. I'll know it soon enough."

"Really?" Tay Dingxuan whispered as he glanced at the teddy bear. He used to sleep among his teddy bears until he got too weak to even walk across the room. 

"Have I ever lied to you?" 

Tay Dingxuan did not answer him. Instead, his eyes were on the teddy bear. He could tell that his time was running out. Even though everyone kept things from him, he could feel it. His parents would smile, but their eyes would be bloodshot. His grandmother would say nice things to cheer him up, but her hands would tremble while tears lingered in her eyes, as if she was doing her best to stop the tears from falling.

Tay Dingxuan wrapped his arms around Head Manager Han's neck and placed a kiss on the man's cheek. When Head Manager Han's eyes went wide open from shock, Tay Dingxuan hugged him tightly as he mumbled, "I love you, Uncle Bear..."

Head Manager Han hugged the boy back as he nodded. "En... You can't tell anyone about the teddy bear, alright? Otherwise, I won't be able to visit you anymore."

Tay Dingxuan nodded.  

Head Manager Han sat on the bed with Tay Dingxuan as the latter took his medicines obediently. 

"Uncle Bear?"

Head Manager Han was gently tapping the boy's thigh as he cradled him in his arms. "Yeah..."

"You won't lie to me, right?"

"No..."

Tay Dingxuan looked up at him with eyes that were mature beyond his age. "Am I going to die?" 

Head Manager Han's hand stopped in mid-air for a few seconds as he thought about what to say. In the end, he chose the truth. "I don't know..."

Tay Dingxuan frowned. He thought for a while before asking, "Do I have more chance to live or to die?" 

Dr. Wing glanced at Head Manager Han before saying, "Tay Dingxuan, it's time for bed..."

Head Manager Han waved a hand dismissively at her while he kept his eyes on Tay Dingxuan. "Dingxuan, are you afraid to die?"

"Not really..." Tay Dingxuan sighed. "I'm just afraid of leaving my parents and grandma. They will be very sad."

"En..."

"I don't want them to forget about me, but I also want them to forget about me..."

"Why?"

"It's painful when my friend died, and I thought that it'd be better if I don't know her... but I'm also happy that I do... and I'm also sad that not that many people would remember her..." 

"Mmhmm... Your parents are not going to forget about you. They'd be in pain knowing that they lost their precious son, but they would gradually learn to deal with the pain. So, if I were you, I won't worry too much about it. They are a.d.u.l.ts; they should know better."

Tay Dingxuan thought about it. He then allowed Dr. Wing to give him the injection, and once she was done, she and her nurse left the room. 

As Tay Dingxuan sat on the bed with Head Manager Han sitting at the end of the bed, they chatted animatedly about random things.

Suddenly, the little boy placed a hand on Head Manager Han's cheek and asked softly, "Would you forget about me, Uncle Bear?" 

"No..."

"Promise?" Tay Dingxuan raised his left pinky. 

Head Manager Han looked at it for a moment before hooking his pinky with Tay Dingxuan's. "Promise." 

The little boy smiled up. He reached out and gently touched Head Manager Han's cheek. "You're a good uncle..."

As if he was suddenly depleted of all his energy, his raised hand just flopped down suddenly as he closed his eyes. "I'm sleepy now..."

"En... Sleep." Head Manager Han tucked Tay Dingxuan to bed before saying softly, "I won't leave before you sleep."

xxx

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