CH 87

Chapter 87: If I Knew That You Liked Me, I Wouldn’t Even Hesitate To Rip Your Clothes Off.

Qi Ci hurried to open the door, only to see Bian Zhonghua standing outside with two jars of wine and a big smile: “The night is long and I can’t sleep, so I came to find you to drink some wine.”

Qi Ci said: “Even if you can’t sleep, I can.”

Bian Zhonghua: “…..”

Qi Ci laughed, and his eyes sparkled with happiness. For a split second, he was so immersed in joy that he couldn’t hide his feelings: “I was just teasing you, come in.” Qi Ci said as he moved aside to give Bian Zhonghua room.

Bian Zhonghua gently raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised, and walked into the room: “When did this little Gongzi learn to tease people?”

Qi Ci’s mood became more and more cheerful, and as he closed the door, he said: “I learned from you, of course. After all, I can’t always be under your thumb, can I? By the way, where did you get this wine?”

Bian Zhonghua put the wine jars on the table, found a wooden stool to sit down on, and said: “I asked the innkeeper to bring some.”

As Bian Zhonghua spoke, he slowly scraped off the mud seal on the wine jar. Bian Zhonghua then looked at Qi Ci’s face and asked: “Do you still remember what I said before? That the next time we drank wine together, I’d tell you my third secret?”

Qi Ci thought to himself: ‘You had kept me in suspense three times, how could I not remember?’ As Qi Ci sat down, he nodded.

Bian Zhonghua then fell silent, as if looking for the right words. When he handed Qi Ci the wine jar, his hand slipped. Fortunately, Qi Ci reacted quickly and was able to catch it in time. After Bian Zhonghua took a deep breath, he finally asked: “Do you have someone you like?”

Qi Ci didn’t expect Bian Zhonghua would mention this, but after recovering from the initial shock, he nodded.

Bian Zhonghua picked up his wine jar and took a long sip.

“You….why are you drinking first?!” Qi Ci didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Furthermore, the amount of alcohol that Bian Zhonghua could drink before passing out drunk was really very little.

As Bian Zhonghua took a deep breath, he could feel the burning sensation of the alcohol running down his throat. Once he swallowed the wine, feeling as if his whole body was on fire, he thought that he might be able to say what he wanted to say and couldn’t bring himself to say, but at the same time, he would also end up saying things that maybe he shouldn’t. As Bian Zhonghua looked up at Qi Ci, he said: “Actually, I shouldn’t tell my third secret now.”

Qi Ci asked: “Why not?”

Bian Zhonghua said: “Because we still have a long journey ahead of us. If I tell you after we’re safely back in the Capital, you might have time to deal with it.”

Qi Ci became more and more confused and bewildered.

“But I can’t hold it in anymore….” Bian Zhonghua looked at Qi Ci and carefully observed his eyebrows, eyes, and lips in detail. “Qi Ci, you have to understand that by telling you my third secret, I will be betting all my luck, my heart, and my life. I don’t mind betting on my future ambitions, my hopes, and expectations, and I don’t mind waiting either.”

Qi Ci felt that this was the first time that Bian Zhonghua had called him by his full name in all seriousness. At this, Qi Ci couldn’t help but straighten up, so as to carefully listen to every word Bian Zhonghua had to say and be able to engrave them deep into his heart.

‘But, what on earth is making Bian Zhonghua say such words?’

As Qi Ci made random guesses, he heard Bian Zhonghua continue: “You should also understand that this is all my fault, and you don’t need to feel guilty, uncomfortable, or distressed about it. When the time comes, if you want us to part ways and never see each other again, I will understand and even take it as an act of enormous kindness towards me.”

Qi Ci’s eyes widened, and he became even more confused than before: “I don’t understand. I’m feeling a bit dizzy.”

Bian Zhonghua bent his eyes and said: “Don’t worry, you will stop being dizzy soon.”

“No, no, no, no….” Qi Ci held his head with both hands. “I’m really feeling a bit dizzy. What’s going on? I didn’t even drink wine….”

“Hmm?” Only then did Bian Zhonghua realize that something wasn’t right.

The room was surrounded by a faint white mist that also gave off a strange scent. Bian Zhonghua felt that this fragrance was quite familiar to him, and as he sniffed the air trying to find the source, he saw an incense stick inserted in a corner. Surprised, he asked: “This isn’t the Burning With Love and Passion incense, is it? Did you light it?”

Qi Ci replied: “Yes, I lit one by accident and thought of compensating you tomorrow.”

Bian Zhonghua said: “Don’t need to compensate me, it’s just that this incense shouldn’t be lit….its smell will make….”

‘What evil joke is this?’

‘It wasn’t easy for me to muster up the courage to confess my feelings for Qi Ci, and now, because of this incense, Qi Ci will meet with the person he loves in the dreamland!’

Bian Zhonghua intended to extinguish the mischievous smoke from the incense that was embedded in a corner of the wall. However, as soon as he stood up, he saw that the mist moved directly towards his face, enveloping each of his limbs.

Bian Zhonghua hurried to hold his breath, but it was already too late.

Then, the scene in front of him gradually began to distort and change.

Bian Zhonghua collapsed as he held his forehead.

‘I didn’t expect to get trapped so easily!’ 

Bian Zhonghua tried to convince himself that he would be brave enough to face the problem at hand, so he quickly turned around to survey the surroundings of the room he was now in.

At first, Bian Zhonghua thought he would find himself back to the first time Qi Ci and him drank wine together….but this wasn’t the case at all.

Bian Zhonghua saw a white porcelain plate filled with melon seeds on a round yellow table. Then, on a bed covered by red gauze curtains, a man was lying.

The man was dressed in gaudy clothes, whose lapel was half-open, revealing a faint bruise on the man’s chest. This scene was exactly the same as when Bian Zhonghua first met Qi Ci.

On the other hand, Qi Ci was also stunned.

He tried to hold back the dizziness for fear that he might not be able to listen to what Bian Zhonghua wanted to say, when all of a sudden, he was sent somewhere else in the twinkling of an eye.

‘Why am I lying on a bed?!’

‘Also….this bed looks somewhat familiar….’

‘It seems….to be the red silk bed I was forced to stay on at the brothel!’

Qi Ci hadn’t recovered from the shock yet, when all of a sudden, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching him from a distance. Right after, a dark shadow fell close to him.

Qi Ci wanted to look up and see who it was, but he found himself unable to move or produce any sound. Right when he was feeling panicked, he heard the man’s voice. Since that voice sounded so familiar, Qi Ci’s troubled mind calmed right away.

Bian Zhonghua looked down at Qi Ci, who was lying on the side of the bed, and with a helpless smile, said: “What a coincidence. I told you before that this third secret was about something I regretted. But I never expected that right when I was about to tell you, I would be given a chance to make up for it. In fact, I have always regretted that I didn’t do anything to you that day in the brothel.”

Qi Ci: “….”

As soon as Bian Zhonghua said this, he pressed Qi Ci on the bed and wrapped his arms around him.

Qi Ci was stiff all over, while his mind was filled with the words: I have always regretted that I didn’t do anything to you that day in the brothel.

‘Why is Bian Zhonghua saying that? Did he regret not being able to unleash his lust, or….’

‘Or….’

However, Qi Ci didn’t dare to think about it.

Strong arms hugged his waist. Since Qi Ci’s clothing was very thin, he could feel the heat emanating from Bian Zhonghua’s body touching his skin through his thin layer of clothing. It was as if, at any second, Qi Ci’s flesh and blood would burn away, leaving only the desire and lust present in his body.

However, Bian Zhonghua didn’t do anything else.

He simply embraced Qi Ci in his arms.

Lying on his side, Bian Zhonghua held his head with one hand, while with the other hugged Qi Ci’s waist, thinking: ‘Since I’m in an illusion anyway, I can simply say everything that’s inside my heart.’

“Listen, I um, I really regret that I didn’t do anything to you in the brothel at that time. How could I waste such a good opportunity?! After all, it was going to be a mutual agreement. After I helped you get rid of the Gu worm in ‘that way’, you’d be grateful to me for saving your life anyway….”

As he spoke of that, Bian Zhonghua couldn’t but laugh at himself.

“But now that I find myself trapped in this illusion, I realized that even if I could go back in time, the only thing I would do… would be to reach out my arms and hug you.”

‘Just like I’m doing now….’

“Because I’m not the one you’re in love with.”

“But, if I knew that you liked me, I wouldn’t even hesitate to rip your clothes off, kiss you, enter your body, and feel how you tremble because of me—cough. But because I know you don’t feel that way about me, I would only fix your clothes and give you a firm hug.”

“That’s all I can do. Because you not only represent my most innate longing, but also my most repressed affection.”

“Alright, let’s go to sleep. When I wake up in the real world, I’ll show my feelings to the real you.”