Chapter 54
On the podium, Teacher Qin sincerely said to the students, "There are less than 100 days left. I hope everyone will not be impatient, grit your teeth and persevere. Learn from the excellent students around you. Xiao Yan, stand up and say some encouraging words to everyone."
Xiao Yan, who was suddenly cued, put down his pen and stood up.
Lin ChuSui applauded vigorously, and the whole class looked towards him.
He pondered for a moment, then spoke sonorously, "The long wind will be broken by the waves eventually, only by hoisting the sails can we cross the sea."
The whole class was quiet for a few seconds. Seeing that he didn't continue, Teacher Qin asked, "That's it?"
Xiao Yan sat down, "Mm."
As expected, the school's top student was as concise as always.
"Alright, alright. In short, you reap what you sow. I believe as long as you work hard together, you will surely obtain the future you want! Let's continue self-study now."
In the exams early in the semester, Lin ChuSui's grades improved again and again. Needless to say, she got high marks in Chinese and English thanks to her freakish memory.
She was slightly weaker in science, but with Xiao Yan's patient guidance, even a dumb student could be turned into a star pupil.
During evening self-study that day, Lin ChuSui received a call from Fang You Yi. Without thinking twice, she immediately declined the call.
But Fang You Yi called again relentlessly, so she had no choice but to answer. Annoyed, she complained, "Ms. Fang, I'm in class! What is so urgent that can't wait until I get home?"
Fang You Yi sounded very anxious, "ChuSui, grandpa suddenly had a cerebral hemorrhage and is hospitalized. Come to the People's Hospital now, you may be able to see him for the last time."
Lin ChuSui's mind buzzed, and her eyes reddened instantly.
In the past two years, her grandparents had been quite healthy, always traveling to alleviate their grief over the loss of their son.
Her grandma was still in good shape, but her grandpa had high blood pressure before, which acted up two years ago after that disastrous news. His blood pressure had been unstable ever since.
Lin ChuSui was their only granddaughter, and the closest family they had left in this world.
She wiped the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, and ran out without even packing up, crying.
Seeing this, Xiao Yan immediately chased after her and asked, "What happened?"
"Help... help me ask the teacher for leave." Lin ChuSui said as she rushed downstairs, "My grandpa... he may be dying."
Hearing this, Xiao Yan clearly felt a stab of pain in his heart. He knew it was Lin Xiuzhe's emotions surging strongly inside him... Of course, that was his father too.
Leaving behind bereaved elderly parents before passing away was the greatest unfilial act. Although Lin Xiuzhe didn't say a word, his heart was full of grief.
Without any hesitation, Xiao Yan grasped her hand, "I'll go with you."
"You... you're coming with me?"
"Mm."
"But..."
Lin ChuSui knew it was very inappropriate. Her mother and Xu Songbai would definitely both be at the hospital. She didn't understand why Xiao Yan insisted on going, but there was no time to think about it now. Her grandpa's condition was the most urgent matter!
She called Teacher Qin to explain the situation. Without any hesitation, he approved her leave and called the school gate security to let them through swiftly.
Outside the ICU on the 4th floor of Renmin Hospital, Fang You Yi and Xu Songbai were there as expected, along with Xu Jia Ning.
Sitting on a bench was Lin ChuSui's gray-haired grandma, leaning on a cane. She was very worried.
"How is grandpa's condition?"
Seeing Lin ChuSui arrive, the old woman quickly got up despite her hunched back to greet her.
"Grandma, please sit down." Lin ChuSui hurriedly helped her sit down. Her wrinkled hands gripped Lin ChuSui's tightly.
"Grandpa is still in emergency treatment. Don't cry, dear."
She wiped away the tears from Lin ChuSui's eyes and looked at her heartbrokenly, "He always blamed himself for being too harsh on Xiuzhe in the past, always arguing and scolding him. So he wants to see him earlier, to accompany him."
Hearing her grandma say this, Lin ChuSui cried even harder, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Mom, what are you talking about, Dad will be fine." Fang You Yi tried to comfort her, "Don't scare yourself."
"I know it in my heart, this day would come sooner or later."
Just then, grandma looked up and saw the tall, thin boy standing at the end of the hallway.
The light shone on him, making his pale skin even whiter. His dark eyes gazed at the old woman.
"You are..."
Lin ChuSui quickly explained, "Grandma, he's my...uh, classmate."
Calling him a classmate didn't seem able to explain why Xiao Yan was here too. With grandma here, Lin ChuSui wasn't afraid of causing trouble, so she whispered, "My classmate...and boyfriend."
"I see. Good, good, come here. Your grandpa loves lively crowds, he doesn't want to be cold and lonely." Grandma beckoned Xiao Yan, "Come, come sit by me."
Xiao Yan obediently walked over and sat down beside grandma. She gently patted the back of his hand.
Xu Songbai hated nothing more than his children dating early. He didn't expect that not only was Lin ChuSui dating early, she even brazenly brought her boyfriend along.
His expression was a little ugly as he sternly said to Lin ChuSui, "Do you think this is appropriate?"
Before Lin ChuSui could reply, grandma immediately said, "Mr. Xu, your duty now is to take good care of You Yi and the child in her belly. As for ChuSui, please don't interfere excessively in her affairs. Losing her father doesn't mean there is no one left in this world to care for her. It is certainly not your place to meddle."
Her powerful words immediately choked back Xu Songbai's impending rebuke.
Although advanced in years, grandma was formidable. One look and you knew she was not an easy elderly lady to deal with.
The Lin family was a family of merit and generations of heroes. They settled overseas early on, running businesses, and only moved back in the 90s. Having grown up abroad, Lin Xiuzhe was also imbued with the heroic spirit of his ancestors. He was eager to serve his country.
But due to various reasons, he failed to join the military. He became a firefighter instead, which also fulfilled his patriotic dreams of youth.
"I've heard of your ruthless ways in business, leaving no survivors. Even with your own children, you are like this." Grandma looked coldly at Xu Songbai, "Including how you treat your juniors."
"It's true I'm harsh on the children, but it's for their own good." Xu Songbai calmly replied, "Lin ChuSui was indeed spoiled rotten before, acting recklessly. If this continues, her future will be ruined."
Grandma didn't get angry. She calmly said, "So in your opinion, what is a good child, and what is a good future for them?"
"Listen to their parents, fulfill their parents' expectations, and attain high social status and wealth."
"How high a status and how much wealth would satisfy you?"
"At least surpassing the previous generation."
Grandma's wrinkled but exceptionally soft hand fell on Lin ChuSui's. "Our children may not achieve the heroic merits of the previous generation on the battlefield, shedding blood. But I only hope she can live this life well."
She looked at Xu Songbai, "Perhaps this is where you and Xiuzhe differ."
What Xu Songbai hated most was being compared to Lin Xiuzhe, because he knew he couldn't measure up, not even close.
So he would intentionally try to negate Lin Xiuzhe's educational philosophy.
At this moment, being bluntly seen through by the old woman, he lost face but had no rebuttal.
Just then, the doctor walked out of the ER.
The family quickly gathered around to ask about his condition.
"The old man is awake now, but still not out of danger. He needs to be hospitalized for observation."
The family breathed a sigh of relief.
"Family can go see him," the doctor said, "But not too many people, don't disturb his rest."
Lin ChuSui went into the ward without hesitation, accompanied by grandma. Xiao Yan could only look in through the glass window.
The old man had regained consciousness, though still a little disoriented.
"Grandpa, how do you feel?" Lin ChuSui asked worriedly, "Anywhere else feeling uncomfortable?"
The old man couldn't speak. He looked at Lin ChuSui, then held her hand and squeezed it lightly, signaling her not to worry.
"I thought I wouldn't get to see you again, wu."
Lin ChuSui was about to cry again, wiping the tears from her eyes, when suddenly, his emotions became agitated. His wrinkled hands trembled as he pointed towards the window.
Everyone followed the direction of his hand and saw the silently standing youth by the window - Xiao Yan.
The old man pointed at him, as if he wanted to say something very much.
"Grandpa, do you...want him to come in?"
The old man stared fixedly at Xiao Yan, struggling to utter some syllables from his mouth.
Fang You Yi immediately opened the door to let Xiao Yan into the room.
Xiao Yan walked in and politely greeted, "Hello Grandpa, I am Lin ChuSui's..."
Before he could finish, he saw the old man pointing at him and finally shouted out, "Ze...A Ze...Dad is...A Ze, Dad is here..."
Xiao Yan couldn't help but walk forward. The old man's shriveled hands, like an eagle's claws, suddenly grabbed his shirt hem with such strength that was hard to believe this was a dying old man -
"Don't go, don't go...A Ze..."
Xiao Yan didn't know if people on the verge of death could see their loved ones' souls, but this old father obviously saw another soul in him.
Xiao Yan looked at Lin ChuSui.
The girl's eyes were as if dyed by ink, purely dark, with tears clinging to her dense eyelashes.
"Don't go, A Ze, you still have to take care of your daughter and watch her grow up..."
The old man clutched Xiao Yan's shirt tightly, and even when Fang You Yi came over to gently persuade him to let go, he didn't. It was as if he had to wait for an answer from Xiao Yan.
Or perhaps, an answer from Lin Xiu Ze.
Xiao Yan gazed deeply into Lin ChuSui's eyes, countless emotions flashing through.
Finally, he retracted his eyes and said in a deep voice, "I promise you."
I promise you I won't let him go.
The old man was reassured to have his promise and slowly fell asleep.
Everyone looked at each other, thinking the old man was confused and hallucinating, which made him mistake Xiao Yan for Lin Xiu Ze.
From beginning to end, only Xu Jia Ning, an outsider, stood calmly by the window watching Xiao Yan's back.
As if he understood something.
...
That night, Lin ChuSui insisted on staying in the hospital to keep watch. Fang You Yi insisted not allowing it, saying Grandpa had her to take care of him, and told Lin ChuSui to go home with her brother to study.
At 10 pm, Xu Jia Ning took Lin ChuSui out of the hospital.
Unexpectedly, Xiao Yan, who had left early, was still there waiting downstairs at the hospital.
Under the street lamp, he was tall and slender, the light falling on his shoulders and shrouding his handsome face in shadows.
He exuded a touch of spring chill and loneliness.
Lin ChuSui jogged over to his side, surprised and asked, "I thought you went home already."
"I didn't leave," said Xiao Yan, bloodshot eyes and slightly hoarse voice.
"Grandpa is fine now." Thinking he was worried, Lin ChuSui quickly explained, "He was just a little confused and mistook you for my dad."
Xu Jia Ning walked over to Xiao Yan and gazed deeply into his eyes, "Teacher Xiao, do you have something to say?"
Xiao Yan ignored Xu Jia Ning. He just stood in silence for a long time, seeming hesitant and struggling...
"I...have nothing to say, just want a hug," he finally said. Then, without waiting for Lin ChuSui's reaction, he walked over and wrapped the little girl in his embrace with his entire body.
Lin ChuSui did not mention anything about Xiao Yan, as if he had never existed in her life.
He was just like an accident in her life, forever frozen in that rainy summer day.
The famous girls' chat group of South City No. 1 Middle School had not been lively for a long time either, but it was not disbanded or had anyone kicked out.
Occasionally, Lu Chi and Zhang Cheng Yu would chat randomly there, but Xiao Yan never chimed in.
Sometimes when she woke up at midnight half-asleep, Xiao Yan's and Old Lin's figures would merge together in her mind.
They were both very important presences in her life, and they had both left her.
The rainy season in June. The college entrance exam arrived as scheduled.
She had imagined countless times how magnificent this battle would be, hacking through thorns and bathing in wind and rain...
But sitting in the exam hall, Lin ChuSui's heart was calm.
She looked up and saw the boy in front with his back facing her. His tall figure in the white shirt resembled the boy in her dreams.
Throughout the exams, Lin ChuSui remained very calm. Every word she wrote, every mathematical solution, every line of ancient poetry...they all seemed familiar, all related to that person in the long years.
"People like you, if you fall, you probably will never...get back up."
His last words to her echoed in her mind again.
That's right. Dad is no longer around. No one can protect you in this world. Only you can protect yourself.
Lin ChuSui wrote firmly, carefully finishing the last character on the exam paper.
The moment she walked out of the exam hall, the early summer wind carried the lingering warmth of the setting sun, blowing in her face.
Lin ChuSui looked at the crystal clear sky. The future she had longed for countless times was now within reach.
During that summer vacation, Mom gave birth to a cute little brother. The little brother had a soft, cute face that Lin ChuSui really liked. She often poked his chubby little face with her finger.
Xu SongBai relaxed his governance over Lin ChuSui and Xu JiaNing quite a bit because of the child, and regarding their choice of university and future major, he finally conceded under Mrs. Fang YouYi's insistence to let them study what they were interested in.
He had thought Xu JiaNing would choose a music-related major, but unexpectedly, he applied for business and management as Xu SongBai wished.
Lin ChuSui had already passed relevant physical tests before the college entrance exam, and was admitted to the best police academy in the country with outstanding exam results. Due to her photographic memory, she entered the core criminal investigation major.
Shortly after receiving the admission notice, the circle of friends Old Lin had exchanged QQ candies for were all about to go their separate ways for their future prospects.
On the eve of departure, everyone sang karaoke. Lin ChuSui did not expect to see Qin Nai at the entrance of the KTV.
Today Qin Nai was dressed properly, in a light round-neck T-shirt, black pants and sneakers. Without his usual flamboyance and arrogance, he looked like a normal boy.
Lin ChuSui glanced at Lu Chi. Lu Chi shrugged and said, "Don't blame me. He insisted on seeing you one last time. Brother Chu will be a top student soon, so there may not be another chance to see you again. I told him... just chat with him for a bit, then leave."
"Did he promise to give you a full set of ZiWu equipment?"
"Ah, no, he has... almost slipped up there," Lu Chi quickly corrected himself. "What kind of person do you take me for!"
"Traitor."
After curtly calling him out, Lin ChuSui walked up to Qin Nai.
Nervous, Qin Nai didn't know what to do with his hands. He put them behind his back, looking like an obedient student.
"What is it?"
"I want to apologize."
"Apologize for what?"
"For everything in the past." Qin Nai looked up at her. "All the things I did wrong that disappointed you. I'm sorry."
In fact, Lin ChuSui's mindset had become very calm now. The past was the past. She was about to embark on a brand new journey, so she didn't dwell on those things anymore.
Besides, Qin Nai hadn't really done anything unforgivable to her.
She patted Qin Nai on the shoulder. "From now on, abide by the law. Don't let me catch you again."
Qin Nai lowered his head with a smile. "I plan to take the college entrance exam again. Maybe in the future I'll apply to your school, then we can..."
"My school has high requirements. You won't get in."
"..."
He looked at her ardently. "I mean, if I did get in, could you give me another chance...?"
"No."
Lin ChuSui's rejection was straightforward. "I'm sorry, no."
"Why?"
"No reason. Just no."
"You still like that guy, don't you?"
Everyone tensed up at his words. It had been almost half a year since that name was mentioned. Neither Lin ChuSui nor the others talked about him.
It was as if he had never existed.
"Xiao Yan?" Lin ChuSui uttered his name breezily. "He's in the past now, just like you."
Hearing her say that, everyone relaxed.
Brother Chu is still Brother Chu, letting go gracefully.
Understanding she wouldn't change her mind, Qin Nai didn't push further. As he left, he only said, "I'll do as I said. Since you're moving forward, I'll run ahead of you."
With that, he walked past her and left.
...
At the KTV, Lu Chi and the others were drinking freely. Not only were they drinking themselves, they were plying Lin ChuSui too.
The gathering would disperse tomorrow. Filled with reluctance and apprehension...
"Brother Chu, you were really wild like a monkey when you were little!" Lu Chi slapped Lin ChuSui on the shoulder. "No wonder those girls hugging their dolls wouldn't play with you."
"Uncle Lin said every time you came home it was bawling."
"Yeah, my dad even went to argue with them once, asking why they wouldn't play with me." Lin ChuSui recalled with a smile, though her eyes were red.
As she pretended to drink, she dabbed her eyes with her sleeve.
"Don't mention it, the rag doll your grandma sewed for you was kind of ugly. The button eyes were creepy."
"Later my dad said he'd buy me a new Barbie doll, but I still liked Grandma's rag doll." They didn't like my doll - it wasn't the doll's fault or my fault, it was theirs. I just didn't play with them."
"Well said!" Lu TianBai came over and wrapped her arm around Lin ChuSui's shoulder, feeding her a fruit wine. "It wasn't your fault, Chu Chu, they were opportunistic!"
"Look who's talking." Lu Chi poked Lu TianBai in the head. "Back then, weren't you always chasing those girls too?"
All the girls in the neighborhood wanted to play with the "Doll Clique." Lin ChuSui and Lu TianBai were like that too...
Later, to help Lin ChuSui make more friends, her dad started waiting downstairs every afternoon. Whenever he saw a child alone, he'd take out QQ candies to "lure" them -
"Be good friends with my little darling, and I'll give you QQ candies!"
A few sweet-toothed kids took the bait willingly, becoming steadfast companions from primary school to high school...
"I don't know how many QQ candy packs my dad gave out that summer," said Lin ChuSui. Though she smiled, her eyes were wet.
Lu Chi said fervently, "Don't mention it, I almost threw up from eating so much QQ candy that summer!"
Zhang Cheng Yu: "My sh*t was popping like QQ candies."
Lin ChuSui laughed again: "Watch your mouth!"
Between sobs and laughter, they played until late into the night. Zhang Cheng Yu sang his hit song "Drunken Butterfly," but Lu Chi thought he sang terribly and tried to grab the mic from him.
Watching these familiar scenes unfold again, her youth slipped away silently.
Lin ChuSui stepped out for some fresh air and to clear her head.
After months of settling, she could face everything calmly and lightly...
Except that boy. He was like a burn scar on her heart - she couldn't touch or think of him.
Deftly, she took out a lady's cigarette and lit it, holding it between her rosy lips as she lowered her head to light it.
But when she raised her head, she saw the slender silhouette of the youth under the neon lights.
After months of not seeing him, his temperament had sunk considerably.
The street was narrow, only about fifteen feet between them.
She smiled, leaning back against the street lamp. Perhaps tipsy, her slender figure exuded a bewitching charm.
In just a few months, the girl had faded, replaced by a precocious and enchanting maturity.
She had really grown up.
"Don't tell me you're here to get back together," she said, cocking her chin and gazing at him. "Brother Chu doesn't eat regurgitated food."
Xiao Yan's deep dark eyes looked at her greedily.
"Enjoying the view? I'll charge now if you keep looking."
Lin ChuSui suppressed her heartache. Turning, she flicked her hand airily. "I'm going now."
"Goodbye."
After a long silence, that was all he said - "Goodbye."
Lin ChuSui walked a few steps before stopping, her slender shoulders trembling lightly.
She knew this "goodbye" might really mean the end, never seeing each other again.
She bit her lip tightly, turning to run toward the boy, heedless of the red light.
She raced across the road and threw herself into Xiao Yan's arms, hugging his waist tightly. "You...jerk."
Xiao Yan barely had time to react to the passing cyclist before the girl let go of him and even pushed him.
"If you want to leave, then leave! What are you still doing here?"
Red-eyed, she choked back imminent tears. "I got over you long ago!"
He opened his mouth slightly but still couldn't get any words out, only two heavily-enunciated syllables -
"Goodbye."
So reluctant, yet it was still goodbye.
Never seeing each other again.
Xiao Yan turned to leave, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
"Classmate," Lin ChuSui called out as she watched his departing figure. "I just hugged you. Can you hug me too, so we're even?"
Without hesitation, Xiao Yan rushed back and embraced her with all his might, as if to imprint it in his memory.
Lin ChuSui buried her face in his chest, eyes closed, deeply breathing in his scent, as if to engrave it in her mind.
Each breath was excruciatingly painful.
Xiao Yan pulled off her ponytail holder. His lips touched her ear as he forced out the final two syllables, after much difficulty -
"Goodbye."