[SICARIO]
[Fifty-six months ago]
"Awuor... wake up love," Jer said hours later. They were still in Awuor's bed and looked messy as fuck. However, that didn't matter because there were servants to clean the messes they created anyway.
"Fuck. What time is it?" Awuor asked as she snuggled closer to Jer who held her closer, like he was scared of losing her. She was disheveled and yet somehow managed to stay beautiful like the first time he had seen her.
Maybe he was falling in love again, but that was against the requirements of this job here. He would have to let her go, but damn, that shit was not going to be easy, seeing as he had gotten used to the safety that came with Awuor Sicario.
She was his safety pin and if she left, then he would be screwed one too many times. But would that be an excuse enough for how much he would screw her life up? Would that be the great depression in his twisted love story with the impossible?
"Time to get some food into you," Jer said and his mate opened her eyes instantly. She was always a Jer for food, almost like it was the only thing she lived for. Oh, how she was just a normal girl when she was with him.
"Where's the food? I only smell sex," Awuor whined and Jer peppered kissed her face as if to tell her that she would have her food sooner or later.
"We need to get you cleaned up first, and then we can get some food for you, princess," Jer said, even though she just went under the sheets and snuggled closer to him, hugging him like it was the only thing she needed to do today.
"I'm still sleepy. We can eat later," Awuor whined and Jer peeked under the sheets to see her waiting for him already. Goddess, she looked so beautiful and cured there with him. It was just a pity that this would come to an end eventually.
"How about this, princess..." Jer began, and she perked up to listen to him.
"We shower and you eat, then I'll take you to watch the stars, hmm? I found a better spot and it will just be you and I, until the night ends, my love," Jer said as he ran his hands gently through her hair, before softly pushing her up for their faces to be so close.
"That's too good a deal," Awuor whined and Jer smirked at her.
"Only for my warrior princess," Jer said before adding, "I love you, so very much, baby."
"That's not fair," Awuor whined again, but this time, Jer was already carrying her to the showers. He knew Luna Eniola would be on their asses if they didn't make it to dinner on time.
He didn't mind, but he knew his mate loved her mother too much to even disappoint her and Jer didn't want that happening. He loved Awuor, even though it was an unfortunate time for them to be bound.
Maybe someday, she would understand what and why he did it, right?
They were the ultimate reminder that they had each other's backs. And as He watched them interact with each other, occasionally continuing, he couldn't help but feel even more guilty for what he was about to do.
He wished there was a way to talk Razia out of the mess, but then there wasn't. Awuor was powerful and the only person who could take her ahead or a thousand leagues behind was the Luna at the center of their table.
She was the glue holding everyone together including the entire pack. And if they lost her, there was bound to be chaos. It still didn't make what Year would do any easier and he hoped to be forgiven someday, even though he knew that was a false hope.
"Goodnight everyone,'' Luna said when dinner was over before they all got up and went to their respective chambers one by one. It was tradition for the luna to close the diners and they loved it, because she was always their carer.
That night was the longest one for Jer.
Even though he had kept his promise to watch the stars with her, he couldn't help but be bothered by the turn of events. He knew that shit was about to get a little too real and it was unfair to his mate.
He wanted to tell it to her and get this done with, but he was worried about Razia's magic and what it would do to Awuor. He couldn't hurt her like that and he despised himself for even agreeing to this.
"I hope the stars keep shining as beautifully as they do in your eyes my princess," Jer had told Awuor when he had taken her up to the highest and best spot on the pak house roof.
"I'm always happy with you, my love," Awuor had said. She had been so elated and her smile and happiness haunted him.
As he lay beside the woman he had hopelessly fallen in love with, he couldn't help but be worried for her. He knew that her life would never be the same after tonight, and maybe that was why he held her tighter than the previous nights.
Maybe that's why he spent the entire night watching over her, apologizing to her in his head countless times. He knew he didn't deserve her mercy, but he could only hope that at the end of the day, she would move on.
It wouldn't be easy, but what else was he supposed to do? Betrayal had come to her door and he was wearing the face of that betrayal. It was crazy and it broke his heart, but just like the other times, Jer prayed for mercy.
The moon goddess was probably tired of hearing his prayers when he would always ruin lives, but he could only hope. After all, that was the only thing he had that was good for him and for her.
To hope that he would be okay, that she would be safe after this, but would she?
"No matter what happens at war, my warrior princess, know that I will always love you. And you will always be the best thing that happened to me, I won't let you go," Jer whispered when morning came, and in response, his mate just snuggled closer as usual.
He would miss her, that much he was certain of.
And for the first time since ever, Jer hated mornings and sunshine.