33 [33]

I wish I could trust you as innocent as you. But Karen had a hard time calming down her pounding chest.

"I don't know anyone else, but you said you couldn't doubt it."

"That's it."

"I don't think it's a phenomenon that needs to be explained. I wouldn't be able to."

After all, he is right. It's painful trying to understand what can't happen.

Karen herself is the evidence. How can you doubt it if you have lived on a piece of paper that you know for yourself? If you find out with reason about the world you live in, you won't be able to reach it even if you struggle and explore for 10,000 years, let alone 100 years. Karen put her forehead on her capped hand. My head was hot.

"That's right."

Whatever the answer, it will be hard for you to understand.

At this moment, even if the father suddenly says that he is a god and breaks down the sky, Karen will not be alarmed, but if there was hallucinogenic ingredient in the medicine she took last night. Time has made her do that. Doubt has been her friend all those years.

"That's right."

"…if it's a logical solution….”

If so, Karen calmed her wheezing breath.

"Why did you hide it? I wish you had said... more, more... Wouldn't it be comfortable?”

Days of brooding thought continued in the bookshelf for a long time. If I had at least found out that there had been one more person who had experienced the same problem as me, I wouldn't have been so troubled if there had been one more. But the lord denied the family.

"When you were ten years old, you couldn't stand it. A scheduled life is meaningless."

"Then let him be an ignorant kid from the beginning."

"Isn't this the result?"

Once again the silence fell in the room.

"If your mother did the same, did my maternal grandmother do the same? Does this continue from generation to generation?”

"I don't know that."

"…I see."

You didn't have that much conversation? I was frustrated because I didn't get as many answers as I wanted. It was comforting to know that Yeong-ju, like her, looked nervous. If he was watching her leisurely, he wouldn't be as angry as that.

However, the conversation doesn't work well because they realize that they are uncomfortable with each other. The pace of conversation is off when we try to talk about our grievances even though we know each other different stories are different. Talks that have been cut off for 100 years are strange. It's awkward. It's painful.

"My mother likened it to a book."

"Yes."

"Was it a romance novel?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the genre?" My life."

The world of reason abandoned her and the world of fantasy greeted her. Then you should do it accordingly. Karen pushed the doubt to the corner of the page and drew a question mark. How can I get out of it?

"How do I end this story?"

The lord pointed at himself with his finger.

"Meet someone like me."

"…what?"

"That's what Catherine did. He met me and lived his real life."

It's not easy even though I've decided to accept it's not easy. Karen chose the question, trying to fathom the feelings she felt for the lord.

"…that ended with marriage?”

"It's love."

It was quite embarrassing to say and hear that one's life was a novel. It is a phrase like a conversation between fanatics who are unrealistic, strange, and seriously believe in delusions. But you still have to believe it.

It is not love that rules a person's life. It's death.

But controlling Karen's life became love again.

Karen felt sick and tired of herself. The tiresome types are coming up again. Love. You're going the wrong way now. Love! Shut up! Karen swallowed the sound. My eyes are bleeding. There were clear tears in the eyes of the lord, but blooddrops formed in Karen's eyes. Whatever Karen's condition, the lord continued.

"He met me and said he didn't have to go out of the book. There's no need to 'read' over and over again."

"…that's how you said it."

The lord tapped himself with his finger.

"Yeah. I'm her male lead. No man was fit for her. Neither Earl Landon, Prince Gwiz, nor Marquis. Only I was her true love."

The names of those in power came out of the mouth of the lord. Karen recollected the hosa who said they had been questioned with Catherine. Few people faced each other because the generation was different. Prince Gwiz remembers. famous for its luxuriousness

"I'm more than them....”

The lord's face was full of pride. The face looked a bit like the one he hated.

Obsessive to the dead. It was not just about remembering the loved one, but about defending one's pride through the deceased. The sight of the lord beating other suitors to say that he married Catherine was the look Dare made while looking at Catherine's portrait.

"Her love was me after all."

His marriage to Catherine made him a victor, and he was more justified and confident than Dare. But Karen is too old to be impressed by his appearance.

"In the novels, the male characters are the highest-ranking and most handsome of all the same age.’

Lord Haier was not so depressed, but he was not overwhelmingly superior to the others who had been courting Catherine. What if the real love is so far away that one of the dying men on the battlefield is the male protagonist? It's a wonderful conclusion.

"Love..."

"It's love. I guess I haven't found it yet. Like your mother... True love."

Karen clenched her fist at the sight of Young-ju nodding her head. It's a story that's unrealistic, annoying, and unpleasant. It feels like hitting the head with a hammer made of candy.

"It's a really pure and noble feeling that's different from what you said about the dirty little boy you didn't even believe in yourself."

"You don't have to know."

Karen laughed with a forced smile. After all, it was your subordinates who managed it, so you know everything.

"That's why you're still wandering around because you haven't found your male lead."

It's not easy to feel so bad about such fantastic and fairy tale-like words. Young-ju looked at Karen's fine cheeks and looked at the wounds and bloodstained clothes. He lamented how lovely and pitiful he was.

There was no agony in it about the daughter who had just murdered. It revealed only the desire for a dead wife. So Karen felt a little nauseous looking at her father's face. Love. Love. It's worse than murder for himself now.

It's time to.

"My father said that the world... Didn't you mind the word "book"?”

"I'm sad that you're in pain."

"No, not like that. Dad, don't say that."

Like a child or a wife. Not like that. Not about others. Not such a side-by- Not such a trivial one. a more fundamental and fundamental story

What do you think of yourself? Karen was curious about that. He was distressed by himself. There was a world to go back to. The dim memories, different families, friendly worlds, more ecstatic food, different cultures, animals, and dreams. Karen fumbles over the dimly. A real life. The real world. If you can really go back, if all of this is a dream.

I closed my mouth again.

In the end, the word cannot escape the agony of a 10-year-old child. Let's not think about it if there's nothing to change.

"True love... It's."

How bizarre it is to spit it out in your own mouth.

"For the rest of my life... for 100 years... What would you say if you only lived in doubt and fear?”

The feeling of a wanderer wandering in the air in favor of everything in the world. There's no one like you anywhere, there's no evidence, and there's no certainty. The days of torture that only pain exists.

Young-joo answered with a sad look.

"My dear daughter. You wasted your life."

At that moment, Karen made up her mind.

"Do you trust your mother?"

"Yes, I believe in you as I believe in her."

And he left me alone for 100 years. Karen wanted to vent her anger by tearing up the portrait. Love? And intense jealousy has risen from the depths. He was jealous of his mother who died.

Good to die, Mother. Did you go back to the original world? Did he leave for his true family? If I'd died sooner. Karen held her finger, which was so envious that she couldn't help it.

"…I'm older than you. Now... I have to find my love in earnest.”

My voice trembles because I feel uncomfortable. But Young-joo didn't care about Karen's voice.

"Who was the man? The male lead."

Karen hesitated for a moment and replied.

"...Lord Raymond."

"Well, again. That's plausible. Hmm… so Berdyk must have been pretty pissed. That's nice."

I used an ax to hit my neck because I couldn't get angry. I didn't even have the energy to talk to the funny-talking lord anymore. Whatever Verdick does, what does that mean? The important thing is her male lead.

"You trust your mother.”

"Yes, I believe with all my heart."

I should. If you don't believe it, you're just helping the lunatics kill. His father is a fanatic. The dead Catherine is his god and herself is her holy man. It's just evidence of her glory and divinity. How can a man who gives his body to a man like this grow up?

"It's already dark."

"I'm starving for dinner. I can't… I can't."

I don't think I can get any more information from my father. From the very beginning, he is not a party. He himself does not know what he says is correct. Even if you bind your limbs and pull out your nails, you don't know what you don't know. Now he doesn't need her. There is no need for conversation. Karen wanted to take a break. You'll have to be with them again if you take part in dinner.

"Please attend tomorrow. The countess will come with her daughter.”

"…yes."

Karen frowned. I wanted to take a rest. It was hard to digest because of the mix of fantasy and reality. I have a fit of mind.

Nevertheless, this question had to be asked.

"How do you feel about your mother coming from outside the book?"

Young-ju laughed when she heard it. At that moment he looked like a young man. He smiled with innocence, passion, and confidence and answered his character.

"That's so romantic."