141 [141]

"There's something I didn't tell you because I was scared."

Karen asked Raymond to tell her everything, but he admitted that he was scared and didn't.

"I'll tell you what I think, I think giving birth is the answer to this repetition. My mother went through this repetitive life. And you asked Dulan for help. And…."

Karen bit her lips. It was painful to tell a relationship of the past to a person who had just fallen in love. Obviously it was meaningless for her and an experiment to do. But will Raymond think the same? Raymond gave Karen unconditional love, but I wasn't sure if it would be okay to say that he had experienced many men.

I didn't want to remind you that I had a meeting with another man. Even if he remembers, it was different to say it with his own mouth.

But his shame was really trivial now.

"So far, I... I've never succeeded in getting pregnant with anyone. Maybe I'm infertile. And…."

Karen finished speaking.

"I think Duran made me infertile."

It was frightening to say that Raymond's efforts were of no use. I didn't want to admit it.

"…carren."

Raymond woke up. Karen dropped her head. He took Karen by the hand.

"I already know you died trying to kill Duran. I also know your past life."

“…….”

"First of all, I was also guessing the assumptions you said."

"How?"

"You said before, so did your mother. It's a means that I've considered. I've also aged a lot since then."

“…….”

"That's all right."

Raymond told Karen what she wanted to hear. Karen felt more miserable because of that. Will his efforts be rewarded?

"…I see."

Raymond gently lifted Karen's chin. Karen's eyes met. Raymond's eyes seemed to spark. Karen backed away because she was a little scared.

"So I was actually afraid to mix with you."

The straightforward remark was burdensome. It was not anger in Raymond's eyes. Karen asked, avoiding Raymond's glaring eyes.

"…why?"

"I'm sure she's infertile, but there's no chance she's pregnant. But I was wondering if it would be unpleasant to ask you to have a relationship to confirm it."

My lips touched slightly. Karen, who wanted to hear more, pushed Raymond slightly, but clung to it as a more stimulating agent. I was suffocated.

"If that's your problem, then there's only one more thing we have to do.”

***

Shouldn't you be pregnant if you've done this?

Karen fell on her stomach on the Raymond and thought so. I didn't know how the day was going. It's been a while.

These days, Raymond stuck almost as if he knew nothing else but this. Raymond and Karen were putting their flesh together even when they were eating, and moving almost all together. Raymond was hugging Karen, who was asleep, even when he looked at the documents.

The meal was eaten with almost no time to cook, and spent the whole day with Raymond. There was nothing to disturb them.

"…we personally, hygienically…Can't we just wash up when we wash up.

Karen pushed Raymond away from the bathtub and asked him seriously. Raymond stepped down with a slight regret. It was narrow to be two in a frothy bathtub. Karen was amazed at Raymond, who never got tired. Why is there such a difference in physical strength when you eat the same thing?

"Carran, I think you'd better eat some more meat."

"…what else do you have besides pheasants, rabbits and birds?"

"There are cows and sheep."

"Not smoked."

"The raw fish... well, shall we catch a horse?”

Karen shook her head at the thought of the white and beautiful mare tied to the stable. I have a bad appetite. Indeed, Karen was really fed up with the meat. Raymond seemed to want to increase Karen's physical strength as much as possible, but to do so, he would rather go out and train. Bloody meat was enough now.

"And now I'm talking about clothes. What I bought with that design....”

"From now on, I'll make sure to buy what you want."

"Don't cut me off. Anyway, that would be fine for pregnant women if you think about it now."

Karen said, thinking about the horrible looking clothes. It looked really strange, but it wasn't that strange to think of it as a underwear or an indoor dress. The skirt was moderately short, so it was well ventilated and the lining was soft. It was not designed to tighten the corset. The ship was ample and there was no decoration, so it was good to move. In many ways, it was suitable for a woman who was full. Raymond seemed to have bought it with the thought that he might be pregnant this time.

"But I don't like the design."

"It's because you're young."

"Huh..."

Karen was stunned to hear something that really didn't suit her. Then, I smeared Raymond with soap bubbles.

"Ugh, in my eyes."

"How could you say that?"

"Isn't it better than being too old? Oh, dear…"

Karen wiped Raymond's eyes with a towel that had fallen off her side. It's annoying to be buried and cleaned yourself.

"Carran, let's just wash....”

Raymond groaned suppressed. The naked body was attached to it. Karen quickly pulled out of the weight she felt underneath.

"Don't do it here."

"…it's not torture."

Raymond frown as he put his bangs back.

"I think you can wear it when you get pregnant this time. But I don't like it because it's too unconventional to wear outside."

"Okay."

Raymond sighed. Other things seemed more urgent than clothes, but somehow he kept his promise with Karen.

***

"Then... ha, I kept trying to kill Dulan, but I kept failing....”

Karen trembled with pleasure as she spoke to Raymond, who buried her face in her heart. During this conversation, they did not hesitate to mix themselves. Raymond moved slowly and asked.

"I've been looking for this and that story since you died."

"What kind of income did you have?”

"As you said before, there has been such a legend on the mother's side. But it's not recorded anywhere, and it's hard to call it a proper nuclear power plant. There were so many transformed stories because there was no representative family."

"If you keep having children there, it's over...? Oh, it hurts."

Karen grabbed Raymond's hair with her teeth straightened. But even the pain turned into pleasure. Raymond's groans became rough. After a while, after calming down more, a proper conversation ensued.

"You're from a country beyond the white mountain range, not this country."

"Hmm, is that so?"

"I heard from generation to generation that a saint is born. And by death, they would replace all human sins and lay the next offering."

"It's so simple that I'm angry."

"That's what the abbreviation says. But it's been too long and it's not a well-organized story."

If he had been able to give birth quickly, he would have just handed over everything to the next generation and finished explaining it in words. The story of Karen, Catherine, Carla and countless other women on it was not a story to share with others. Their memories are not shared. It is repeated only for children.

But how did Raymond remember?

Karen thought so as she greeted Raymond coming down from above her.

And soon after a while, I forgot.

***

Days of debauchery continued.

"I really want to go out to the garden today."

"Wear your clothes."

"Yes, yes."

Karen finally realized that she was a cultural person by dressing in layers. For too long, he didn't wear clothes, or he only wore thin clothes that were close to a single dress. Karen turned against Raymond as he wore the clothes Verdick left behind.

"Don't tighten the corset too much, just tie the knot."

Maybe there's a child in the stomach.

Karen swallowed the aftertaste. But even to himself, it was a myth.

Karen's body was unchanged even if she mixed her body like that.

***

Time was passing. But there was no change in the body. Karen and Raymond's conversation was more groaning with pleasure than with words. If you could see it as a conversation.

"…It's already autumn."

"The garden will be very nice later in the winter."

"You said you barely looked at the garden.”

"But I liked the snowball fight. I didn't really like flowers.”

Raymond said as he handed Karen a fur. It was too early to wear fur, but Karen decided to wear it with sincerity. Then I joined Raymond's arm.

'I've never seen snow here.’

The area with the Tess mansion was warm, so winter was extremely short. So Karen had never spent winter here. Karen looked up at the clear autumn sky and imagined a snowy landscape. I'm sure it'll be very nice.

It would be nice for a child to run around there.

Karen found it hard to imagine herself as someone's mother, but she still thought it wouldn't be bad to have a child.

"Looking at it, Lord Raymond."

"Yes, Karen."

"I have a question.”

replied Raymond. Karen looked up at Raymond and asked.

"How did you feel after I died?"

Karen kept wondering about it. He does not know the future of Raymond. The next day I died, I was standing in the raining garden again. What kind of life did Raymond have after that, remembering everything? Revenge? Suicide? It would not have been suicide. You said it's a long life. Then, what did he do in life? Karen was always curious.

"In fact, I lived well after you died."

Raymond laughed as he looked down at Karen.

“…….”

Somehow my mind became complicated.

Karen felt the hand on Raymond's arm drained.

"I'm telling you."

"You don't have to say it again. I'm so jealous."

"Keep envious. So I think you should live longer than I do, and get revenge on me."

A blue smile was mixed in the wind.

And time went by. The day was approaching.