SO, not only did Shen Ji Yun lose his father in that incident, but his mother as well. Luo Yan remembered how the other called his father 'dad' while recounting those events. On the other hand, he never called his mother 'mom.
It showed that Shen Ji Yun was no longer that close to his mother. Not just because they're living in two different countries, but because their hearts had long grown apart.
It must have been really hard for such a small child to experience. His father died and his remaining living parent was so struck with grief that she couldn't even do her duty as a mother to him. In a sense, Shen Ji Yun truly lost both parents in that incident.
"Have you been in contact with your mother since then?" he thought of asking. He was met by silence instead. He raised his head to see why that was so. And the expression on Shen Ji Yun's face already spoke volumes. "Brother Ji Yun?"
"Would you be mad at me if I said 'no'?" Shen Ji Yun asked, the expression on his face was like a bereaved puppy that was afraid that his master would scold him because he thought that he did something wrong.
Even though Luo Yan knew that this was a very serious situation, he couldn't help but feel that the other was just so adorable. He coughed to prevent himself from smiling.
"Of course, I won't," he said. "If you haven't contacted her, that meant that you have a reason to do that. So, no, I would never think that you're in the wrong just because of that."
Shen Ji Yun had already expected that kind of answer from Luo Yan. But it still warmed his heart to hear the other say that. But still, he felt the need to clearly explain to Luo Yan why he hadn't contacted his mother for so long.
"My mother- she, after Dad's death, she often suffered a nervous breakdown. It- it always happened whenever she saw me. Every time that happened, it was chaos. Uncle happened to visit during one of her attacks. It- it got pretty ugly. After Uncle saw how my mother couldn't take care of me, he decided to take me in."
What he didn't mention was that his mother's nervous breakdowns often came with physical beatings. At first, it was just some small things thrown at him and then it became a slap, until it became worse and worse.
He could have avoided that, sure. Whenever his mother had those breakdowns, he could have just stay put and not go to her. But he couldn't. Every time he heard her screams and cries, he couldn't stop himself from going to her.
When the beating started, it truly hurt at first. But then his young mind slowly came to the conclusion that the pain he's feeling probably helped eased his mother's pain. Because after every attack, his mother would have a day of clarity. Although she's still not back to the mother he knew, at least she would smile at him and touch his cheek affectionately.
And so, the cycle continued.
His mother's family barely did anything. They sent doctors for his mother and caregivers to care for her. But they mostly ignored his existence. So, they didn't really care what was happening to him. Only some of the servants in the house found him pitiful and tried to stop him from going to his mother every time the other had one of her attacks.
But him being young and with a head that was only full of thoughts of just wanting to make his mother's pain disappear, he ignored them and continued to go to his mother. It was only after his uncle visited that he fully comprehend that what was happening was wrong. And that condoning his mother's violence would never ever help her.
On the day that he left with his uncle, he still remembered his last conversation with his mother. It was one of those rare days that her mind was clear.
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Shen Ji Yun fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. It was now slowly becoming crumpled because of it. He stared at the woman sitting on the bed while looking outside the window.
She had long platinum blond hair and a pair of blue eyes. Anyone could see that she must have been a beauty. But because of her sallow cheeks and overly thin body, that beauty was now almost non-existent.
"M-Mom..." he called, hesitantly.
His mother turned to him with a soft smile on her lips. "My Yun is here. Come to Mom."
Shen Ji Yun walked towards her. He knew that he should say something. But before he could even utter a word, he felt tears running down his cheeks. He didn't even realize that he was already crying.
"Oh my baby, why are you crying?" his mother asked, her face full of worry.
Before Shen Ji Yun could answer, he was already enveloped in a warm embrace. The thin arms surrounding him almost felt like it would break with just a bit of force. That's why he couldn't bear to hug her back for fear that he would hurt her.
At the end, he was finally able to say what he went there to say.
"Mom, I- I will live with Uncle Yi Mu from now on. I'm- I'm here to say goodbye."
The surrounding was suddenly filled with silence.
Shen Ji Yun bit his lower lip. Maybe- maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe he should just stay here. Maybe—
"Yes, it's better for you to go with him. I'm sorry, Yun. I'm sorry for being a bad mother." He heard his mother sobbing. "Please, wait for Mom to get better, okay? Then, I'll come and find you."
Shen Ji Yun finally hugged her back and cried with her. "Okay, Mom. I will. I will wait for you."
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And that kid had been waiting for the past 12 years for his mother to pick him up.