At night, Dijia and an old man sat outside the campfire, watching a circle of men and women holding hands and dancing around it with solemn expressions.
What did that God of love mean?
One moment he had his eyes glued to him, and the next he fled far away from him. He was like a day in June, cloudy one moment and sunny the next, completely unpredictable.
Although Dijia didn’t want to admit it, he had to say that he couldn’t help but think back to Bai Lixin.
The old man had dozed off with his eyes closed. He was awakened by the laughter not far away and opened his drowsy eyes to look over. With his long beard wrapped around his cane, the old man next to Dijia yawned and looked over: “Dijia, you are thinking about spring.”
Dijia: “……”
The old man laughed again, “Where did our Xin go? Why isn’t he in the crowd? ”
Dijia lowered his voice, “He left and won’t be coming back.”
The old man looked at Dijia for a long time and averted while saying, “Dijia, you are thinking about spring again.”
Dijia: “……”
Dijia lowered his head and polished the newly built ironware, saying no more. The old man, whose eyes had been gazing into the distance, suddenly lit up and he smiled, “Look, Dijia, who said Xin wouldn’t come back? Look who that is. ”
Dijia stiffened. He looked up and followed the old man’s cane. He saw that not far away, by the river, Bai Lixin rode a black stallion and came stepping on the moonlight on the water. The moonlight fell on Bai Lixin’s body, haloing it with a soft white and gentle glow. He was like a fairy under the moon, perfectly blending in with the moon.
Bai Lixin drew everyone’s attention as he rode into the tribe. The stallion under his legs let out a few anxious low growls when the crowd gathered around him.
Bai Lixin put his index finger to his lips in a “shhh” gesture and bent down to calm the restless black horse before jumping down. He took the rope tied to the horse’s belly and tied it to a post.
There were expressions of envy and surprise when the crowd saw that the horse was more obedient than a woman in bed under Bai Lixin’s taming. They hurriedly gathered around after the horse was tied and looked at the stallion who was quietly eating hay in curiosity, “Xin, you actually rode a horse back! How did you do that? ”
The crowd of people surrounded Bai Lixin, blocking him in a tight knot. The look in Dijia’s eyes grew even darker as he looked over.
The old man looked on and laughed, “Dijia, your spring has returned.”
Dijia was silent, but his eyes secretly followed Bai Lixin’s figure.
Bai Lixin was surrounded by the crowd, and he said something to them. The men and women then returned to the campfire to dance, this time with more excitement than earlier. Bai Lixin smiled and walked towards Dijia’s side, where he sat down.
Dijia’s expression stiffened, and he lowered his head to polish up his iron, not even looking at Bai Lixin.
He propped up his cane when he saw Bai Lixin coming. He asked, with a smile, “Where has Xin been? I haven’t seen him all night. ”
“Elder, I just went out to pick some fruit and twisted my foot. It just so happened that this gentle wild horse appeared next to me, so I tamed it a little and rode it back.”
The old man opened his drowsy eyes and said, “Then I, an old man, will go and see this gentle wild horse. I’m old and I’ve never seen a horse like this before, so I’ll take advantage of Xin’s light today.” The old man stood up, his white beard sliding down his cane and hanging long on his chest.
He looked down at them with a smile, supporting his hunched back with his cane and left.
As the elder walked away, Bai Lixin smiled and cocked his head to look at Dijia, “I’m back again.”
Dijia polished the iron in his hand carefully, whispering back, “En.”
Seeing that Dijia was ignoring him, Bai Lixin shifted his hips and leaned toward Dijia, “After you become the successor main god, I will have to disappear. I have thought about it for a long time, recalling my life, and there is only one thing that I can do to fulfil the wishes of mankind in the pantheon. Since I’m going to die soon, I have to live in style before I die.”
Dijia stopped moving his hands and frowned.
He hated the way Bai Lixin always talked about death at every turn, just as he hated the way Bai Lixin always looked at him as if he were a substitute, looking at someone else through him.
When Bai Lixin saw that Dijia did not look up, he continued, “Dijia, I was being impetuous before. No matter how much you drive me away, I will not leave. I like you, I’ve been a god of love for so long and have helped so many people to fulfil their prayers, but I, myself, have never experienced love. ”
Dijia shuddered and looked up at Bai Lixin in surprise.
Bai Lixin’s two bright eyes smiled more gently than a crescent moon. Dijia, please forgive me for my selfishness, although I have decided to end this ring of fate. As selfish as I am, how can I bear the thought that you might fall in love with someone else in the brand new future?
Even if I can be in your life for only a short time, I want you to remember me forever and become a vermilion mole in your heart. I want you to think of me and pine for me so that you can never fall in love with anyone else again and think of me all the time. I want every moment to be like a shadow, I want to be your eternal memory.
Dijia’s handsome face became blurred and hazy under the mist of his tears.
Bai Lixin laughed hard and reached out to hastily wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes. “Why am I crying? Haha, I made you laugh.”
Tears fell down Bai Lixin’s eyes, dropping to the ground and spreading into a splash. They also fell into Dijia’s heart, hammer after hammer of falling raw pain.
The dead silent heart suddenly throbbed. Each throb came with increasing ferocity.
He looked at the young man crying uncontrollably in front of him and stared into his eyes. His heart suddenly warmed, and he couldn’t resist the urge to embrace him in his arms.
In the distance, the old man stroked the black horse’s oily back and looked at the two men sitting in harmony. He smiled and pulled back his mouth to reveal two wobbly incisors.
Dijia fought the urge to hug Bai Lixin. He recalled his cold eyes and the restlessness in his heart stalled. He reverted to his usual calm.
“Are you trying to tease me again? Eros, you want to use this to show your power and mock my ignorance. To exchange your tears for my pity, and when I embrace you, I will be pushed away with that look of disgust again. ” Dijia held back the dull pain in his heart and whispered in a deliberately cold voice, “If that’s the case, then you have succeeded. I do want to embrace you, not because I like you, but because I pity you. Eros, you are so pitiful. You use your power to sway my feelings, just as you sway human feelings. You are a wretch.”
Dijia spoke word for word in a way that even he found vicious. He wanted to stop, but when he thought of the way Bai Lixin saw someone else through him and the look on his face when he pushed him away, his heart stirred for no reason.
He wanted to cut through the surface of tranquilly and stab the hateful man in front of him.
Do you want to get close to me just to look at my face and remember someone else? But as soon as I got close, you couldn’t help but flee far away. This man was only using him as a substitute; he was playing him for a fool.
Why should he fall into this man’s trap while he stands at the mouth of the trap and becomes the victor of the battle?
Dijia’s words were unscrupulous. He clutched the iron so tight that the sharpness of it ground through his hand without him noticing it. Blood slowly stained the iron as Bai Lixin remained frozen in place.
After a long time, Dijia took a deep breath and threw the iron away. He stood up and apologized, “I’m sorry, Eros. I was rash. I’m leaving. ”
Dijia turned and fled back to his house like a fugitive.
Bai Lixin wiped his face. He pressed down the dull pain in his body and picked up the iron in a daze: [What should I do S419M? Dijia doesn’t seem to accept me.]
[Lord Host, let Lord Dijia look into your soul so that he can see your love for him, ah. Lord Dijia is just hurt because of your inconsistent behavior. Though you love Lord Dijia, the god of love before you does not. No matter how naïve he is, he can detect such obvious facial expressions. Besides, Lord Dijia isn’t stupid; he’s just a bit slow.]
Bai Lixin gritted his teeth. [He’s not just stupid, he’s a pig! How dare he scold me!]
Bai Lixin’s tangled heart over the decision to sacrifice suddenly and inexplicably emptied. This unadorned Dijia, who revealed his true feelings, was the real Dijia. Not the master of billions of worlds, not the guardian of the universe, not even the god who wore a mask and towered above them, but his Dijia.
Bai Lixin lowered his head and stroked the blood left on the iron as he suddenly asked helplessly, [Hey, S419M, am I a masochist?]
[Hehehe, maybe you’re an M too. Didn’t you get extra pleasure when you were tied up and tossed by the Lord God in the parallel world?]
Bai Lixin picked up the iron and stood up, slowly walking towards Dijia’s house.
There was a thin slit in the door. It was pitch black when Bai Lixin looked through it.
He carefully pushed the door open and stepped in. The room was silent, and Bai Lixin knew that Dijia did not want to talk to him, so he had to walk through the room from memory to avoid hitting the stone benches and furnishings on the floor.
After a few steps, his way was blocked by an object at his feet. Bai Lixin smiled gently and bent down to touch the familiar stone table. He placed the iron Dijia had abandoned onto the table, whispered “good night” in the darkness, and turned to exit the room. But just as he turned, his head met a warm, wide obstruction. His body was pulled hard by a force before he could react, and he was pressed against the stone table.
The iron that had just been put on the table was knocked away and it fell to the floor with a clang.