CH 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Rosa Wants to Protect the Love From the Shadows (III)

“I’ll go to the monastery.”

Those were Rosa’s first words after she regained consciousness.

As she woke up from her deep sleep, Rosa looked around vaguely.

It was deep in the night, and she noticed she was inside her room in the detached palace.

I really did it this time…

Rose bent her legs and clenched her head between them.

I really did it this time…

She’d squandered all of the scenarios that should have rightfully belonged to Bernando.

That fact weighted like a stone in her heart.

How could I… This is a disgrace… Even if others don’t care about it, the BL god inside me won’t forgive me…

This was the worst possible thing that could have happened. It was like pouring a century-year-old wine down the drain.

The situation was unrecoverable, and the winemaker would undoubtedly lose his position as a winemaker and become merely an apprentice.

Rosa, with all of her heart, wished to be punished.

“That’s right. I’ll go to the monastery…” Rosa said as if a revelation had hit her, and her spirit livened once more.

She’d stayed in this world for too long. No matter how cute Bernando was, she couldn’t afford to wait any longer.

She’d fooled herself into thinking someone like her could bring the Ultimate Bottom Bernando plan to life.

When in truth, Rosa knew that her purpose was to watch over love from the shadows.

She had disregarded it, though, and had stepped out while unintentionally trampling on a rose that was supposed to blossom.

It was time for her to learn to mind her own business.

She had to accept her fate as a BL lover and quietly hide in the shades like moss.

I should still be able to go back to the shadows…

Rosa clenched her fist, believing that it was still not too late.

I’ll punish myself by distancing myself from the one I love the most. By doing so, I’ll be able to start my training from scratch. Instead of getting inspiration from the men in the palace, I will use my own body and mind to weave my fantasies together! If I can find ten new moe to replace the four I just lost, I will have made my amends. As the founder of the BL religion, I will continue this arduous training.

As Rosa resolved herself, she felt herself calm down.

Come to think of it, I wonder what happened to the Apts after that? Were Kamil’s sexual preferences revealed in the end? 

Rosa thought, her heart beginning to beat faster.

No! Now is not the time to think about this… I must quickly make arrangements to leave behind my noble status and become a nun.

Rosa’s priorities were clearly out of order.

However, she never doubted that this was the proper way for them to be.

After making up her mind, Rosa quickly got up from the bed and sprung to action.

She tossed a few of her favorite books and a few household items into her bag and pulled out two sheets from the normal books she usually used for cover.

These two sheets represented her pledge to enter the monastery, as well as the donation she was going to give.

The higher the authority of the guarantor and the higher the donations, the more comfortable one’s life in the monastery will be. These past few years, I’ve strived to increase these, too, so that I could create the perfect conditions for my life of BL writing…

Rosa stared at the rows that had guarantor and donation written on them.

If she were to punish herself, then the less significant they were, the better.

However, if she was truly committed to the goal of spreading BL, then cutting off the donations and punishing herself was maybe not the best course of action.

The greater the donation, the more money the church has, leading to a better education for the nuns. This might increase the number of writing lessons, which will increase the production for the Spring Comi and Winter Comi, which, in turn, will increase the speed of proselytizing. Eventually, the whole continent will be filled with moe…

Although she knew she had to contain herself, Rosa’s mind was slowly in the process of being consumed by her dirty thoughts.

Moreover, even though she was planning on punishing herself by speeding up her process and going to the monastery two years early, she still felt as if this was not enough.

Realizing the severity of her karma, Rosa let out a sigh of despair.

“I really am rotten to the core…”

“Dear sister, what are you saying?!”

It was at this moment that a calm voice echoed in the room.

“Kyaaa!”

It was none other than Bernando, holding a candlestick.

Suddenly, light pierced Rosa’s eyes, and Rosa, assaulted by a sense of guilt, jumped back like a vampire exposed to the light.

She experienced a sudden wave of frustration as if she had been forced to hurriedly hide one of her BL books behind her back after being caught reading it.

However, this simply concerned Bernando even more.

“You’re finally awake. I was worried. I thought you’d wake up soon and came to check on you, but what are you doing?” Bernando asked, slowly getting closer to Rosa.

His face looked as innocent as ever, and his smile was as beautiful as ever. However, for some reason, Rosa felt shivers run down her spine.

W-What is going on…?

Rosa found it strange that she was shivering in front of the top 1 bottom in the world.

She looked at Bernando, cold sweat running down her face and inwardly trying to figure out what was happening.

“Bernando, w-what happened? Y-You, seem mad…”

“Mad? Don’t jest. As I said. I was simply worried.” Bernando said with a calm tone, smiling. However, his beautiful sky-blue eyes were locked onto Rosa’s bag and the sheet of paper she was holding.

“Dear sister, what is that?”

“Oh… This?”

“Let me see. What does this say? Huh? Entrance Pledge?”

Bernando forcefully grabbed the sheet from Rosa’s hands and looked over it.

Rosa sensed Bernando’s gaze the next instant. Rosa felt like a toad about to be wrapped around by the huge snake in front of her, although he wasn’t any taller than her.

“I was worried. I was worried that you’d dash off the moment you woke up, never to be seen again…”

Huh? What? Something’s wrong… 

Rosa’s whole body filled with a strange tension different from the excitement she usually felt when facing Bernando.

Furthermore…

“You won’t be needing this, dear sister.” Bernando said, tossing the sheet behind him.

“No!”

The next moment Rosa felt a wave of sadness wash over her as she saw the paper Bernando had just thrown burst into flames.

“In that case, I presume it’s fine if I burn it.”

“You really like burning things, don’t you, Your Highness? Although I guess it was necessary this time.”

“Brother, please don’t make a mess here! Rosa’s room will get dirty!”

One by one, Leon, Ladu, and Chris entered Rosa’s room.

They were all smiling as they looked at Rosa.

“It’s great to see you up, Rosa. So? Where were you going?”

Rosa could figure out why it was that despite everyone smiling, she felt an indescribable pressure.

She rummaged through her mind for words as she slowly took steps back.

“W-Well… I thought a lot about the incident and… And thought that maybe I’d like to go to a quiet place to calm myself… Haha…”

“Is that so?”

“W-Well, you know that I’m the one that started this whole mess which led to so many other things happening, so I just thought I should reflect on my mistakes…” Rosa said, taking a step back. Bernando, in turn, took a step forward.

And it wasn’t just him. Everyone else in the room stepped forward, closing in on Rosa.

W-Why am I being closed on like this just because I want to go to a monastery?! I don’t get it! Am I in some horror story right now?!

“When I thought about it, I realized it was a mistake to have someone as filthy and rotten-natured as me in your company…”

“Dear sister.” Bernando said, sharply interrupting her.

Rosa, taken aback, took one more step backward, but it was then that she felt the heel of her shoe touch the frame of the bookcase. 

There was nowhere she could run to anymore.

“Please, do not say such things ever again…”

“What?”

W-What do you mean by such things?!

As Bernando’s angered face closed in on Rosa’s, her heart began to beat faster, but even so, Rosa couldn’t help but focus her attention on Bernando’s eyelashes. Ah… Even the curve of his eyelashes is top class. It was then that Bernando suddenly extended his hand and stroked Rosa’s cheek.

“Dear sister, the four of us here know of your secret,” he said.

“…?!”

Huh? Do they know about my love for BL?

Cold sweat ran down Rosa’s back as she heard the shocking confession.

“D-Do you mean that y-you know of my d-dirty nature?” Rosa asked with a trembling voice, just so that she could make sure. Bernando, in turn, looked increasingly distressed as he nodded his head.

“That’s right. But we do not think it is filthy or dirty in any way. Not one of us believes that.”

“What?!”

Bernando’s statement left Rosa completely dumbstruck.

T-They don’t think I’m dirty?! T-Then d-does this mean that they are willing to accept BL? W-What in the world is going on?!

Rosa had no idea what was going on. She looked behind Bernando to see the other three nod at her with smiles on their faces. 

This, in turn, confused Rosa even further.

Eventually, Leon spoke on behalf of all of them.

“It’s not as if we’re the most open-minded people out there. However, we all know you are a lady among ladies and believe you should be given the respect you deserve.”

“A BL lover among BL lovers…” 

J-Just where did he learn that word?! Or is it possible that the phrase I believed to have created myself is already used worldwide?!

Seeing the confusion on Rosa’s face, Leon chuckled and spoke.

“This is a fact that everyone recognizes. Don’t be modest.”

“B-But that’s… T-Thank you…”

Rosa was completely lost for words.

At that moment, Ladu spoke, taking over Leon.

“Rosa, let me get this straight. You’re planning on leaving this world because you didn’t obtain the love you wished for. Correct?”

“H-How did you? B-But, yes. That’s right…” Rosa replied vaguely.

In a strict sense, she was preparing to leave because she had failed to live up to her ideal of moe. However, saying that it was because she hadn’t received the love that she wished was another way of putting it.

“B-But I’m at fault for not obtaining that love…” Rosa said, which prompted Ladu and the others to exchange glances.

“In that case…”

This time it was Chris who stepped forward.

Chris spoke in a very dignified manner, “We’ll give you the love that you wish for.”

“What?!” Rosa exclaimed, utterly shocked by what she’d just heard.

“T-The love that I wish for? Y-You’ll all give it to me?!”

Rosa was beyond confused. The words that Chris had just said in Rosa’s head sounded akin to a confession.

But wait… Your Highness is a girl… No, wait. Her heart is that of a boy, isn’t it? Wait! No… The love that I wish for is love between two men. I don’t think this meets any of the requirements…

Although Leon on the others looked as if they were supporting this, it was bad that it had been Chris who’d said that very phrase…

Until now, Rosa had viewed Chris with truly perverted values, so she simply didn’t know how to interpret what Chris had just said.

Seeing Rosa confused by all of this, Chris pouted and spoke.

“Don’t be like this, Rosa. Not all love is between a man and a woman.”

For the record, what Chris meant was that there was love for one’s friends as well as for one’s family. She’d said that to offer her deepest love as a friend.

However, due to the listener being rotten to the core and the speaker dressed as a man, the meaning of these words took on a completely different meaning in Rosa’s head.

“I-I AGREE! Not all love is between a man and a woman!” Rosa exclaimed. She wholeheartedly believed that Chris was accepting BL.

It seems like my fetishes are already out in the open. But despite that, they are all willing to accept me and offer me the romance, the love that I seek.

Rosa hurriedly organized all of Chris’ phrases as she gulped.

Then this means that… They are going to show me a BL love story between four handsome men! No. I shouldn’t jump to conclusions just yet…

“A-And you will do that for someone like me?” Rosa asked as she looked at Bernando, still unable to believe it. Bernando, in turn, nodded with a bright smile.

“You’re not just someone. We’re doing it precisely because it is you, dear sister. We were all saved by you. That is why it is now our turn to give that love back to you.”

‘Whether that would mean love between friends, master-disciple love, or even sibling love,’ were the words that Bernando didn’t say.

It was still too early to define the type of love clearly. However, it was evident that Bernando and the others were willing to warmly embrace Rosa, who’d been trembling from the cold of loneliness up until now.

Although I plan to eventually escalate this into love between a man and a woman, Bernando thought as he held Rosa’s arms.

“That’s why please do not go to the monastery, dear sister. Please stay with us.”

Bernando’s voice, tinged with sweetness, just like that of a flower vendor, seemed to melt away reason.

Rosa, who, in turn, was easily swayed by his voice, could feel her heartbeat soaring.

“I-I will…” She muttered quietly.

OF COURSE, I WILL! YES, that is the only answer here! After all, from now on, I’ll be in the front row of the BL love story of my dreams! Like hell, I’d go to a monastery right now! I’m postponing it! But why are they willing to do this for me? Wait! Didn’t Moe Bern say that I’ve saved them just now? Maybe they’re grateful that I saved the Apt Village? To be honest, the Apt Village was only involved because of my careless remarks. And then I only ended up curing that illness because I had to see the end of that scene play out, so I doubt I should be thanked for that…

Even so, Rosa was grateful for this gift that she was receiving.

After all, Bernando had even said they’d give back all that love that Rosa had given them.

There’s no way Rosa could refuse such an offer.

Ahhh… This is bad. My tears are welling up from all the excitement. I think it’s showing on my face as well… What will I do if they misunderstand my excitement?! Ah, god, why did I have to be born with such a face?

Rosa inwardly cursed her facial muscles, which rarely reflected her true feelings.

But for once, they were actually performing their duties properly.

Rosa’s beautiful face looked like it was half crying and half frightened simultaneously.

Since she was actually the one who had entangled the romance between the four of them, she was more than happy to enjoy the BL in the spotlight.

Rosa planned to observe how the roses bloomed from the shadows, but she was unaware that she was actually in the middle of the blooming roses.