CH 2

Chapter 2 – A Good Man Until the End

In truth, the silence wasn’t long, though it felt like an intimidating one to Jane.

The Duke of Hastings added, “As you know, Jane, Her Majesty’s wrath is indescribably great.”

It was a bad rush, but Jane clasped her hands together and waited. Inwardly, she begged him to lend a helping hand.

“I can’t say for sure, but I’ll try.”

“Really?”

Jane jerked her shoulder in surprise. She hadn’t expected the Duke of Hastings would happily grant it.

Everyone knows how much Helena Royal Strain, who became queen in her old age, hates the rebels; they almost made her lose her throne.

So helping the Count and Countess of Whitney, who had been caught aiding the rebels, was not an easy thing to do.

Jane repeated her thanks, tears of gratitude streaming down her face. “I am so… grateful. I don’t know how to… repay you for this favor… thank you, thank you, Duke and Duchess.”

The Duchess of Hastings’ eyes trembled as she looked at the tearful Jane.

“Stop crying.”

The Duke of Hastings tapped his wife on the side. He turned his head away with a grim look.

With an inaudible sigh, the Duchess of Hastings moved to Jane’s side and gently stroked her back.

Jane’s sobs slowly diminished. The Duchess of Hastings took Jane’s hand. “Jane, since we decided to help you, will you help us too?”

“You can ask me anything, madam. I will do everything I can,” Jane said, wiping away tears.

“Jane, I know this must be very hard for you, but…”

The Duchess of Hastings smoothed Jane’s messy hair with a gentle touch. Jane’s eyes closed as she felt the warmth, missing her mother.

What she didn’t know was that this warmth would soon become a blade that would stab her.

“Jane, please break up with Cain.”

“……!”

Jane’s eyes widened. She thought she’d heard wrong.

“Break up with Cain, Jane.”

The Duchess of Hastings said it again, her pronunciation so clear that it seemed to burn the words into Jane’s brain.

She didn’t mishear. Jane’s eyes fluttered wildly. Jane clutched the hem of her dress. If she didn’t hold on to something, she would lose her mind.

Cain Hastings is Jane’s fiancé. Her first love, whom she had an arranged engagement with at the age of six. He’s kind, affectionate, and excels at everything.

No amount of rhetoric could describe him. At six years old, too young to know love, Jane fell in love with him as soon as she saw him.

Cain loved her, too, though he couldn’t remember exactly when the longing for a woman had begun to show in his eyes, when he had treated her only as his sister.

Jane and Cain were a rare pair among the nobility. It was rare for people to love their parents’ chosen partner.

In fact, it was Cain’s love that kept her going in this situation.

If she could just make it through two years, she could marry him, and it would be hard on him if she broke down…

When you’re going through a dark tunnel, it helps to imagine the sunshine at the end of it. Cain was that ray of sunshine for Jane.

The one who keeps her up and gives her courage.

To give up on him is to give up on her life.

Jane struggled to free her hand from the Duchess of Hastings’ grasp, but the Duchess wouldn’t let go.

How could such a gentle hand be so oppressive? Jane realized one more thing.

“What… what did I do wrong?” Jane asked, her voice still shaking.

“Jane, you are not guilty, the guilt lies with your parents.”

“But why…” Jane’s voice trembled terribly.

“We’re not asking you to do this because we don’t like you…”

“I’ll try, I’ll do better.”

“Jane!”

The Duchess of Hastings shouted sharply as Jane cried and clung to her, then quickly forced a smile.

“Jane, you’re a smart girl, and you love our Cain, don’t you?”

Jane nodded confidently, despite her confusion. Her love for Cain was the truth, a pure love.

Tears blurred the Duchess of Hastings’ face.

“Cain is the most important to us, just as you are to your parents. If you let Cain go, your parents will be spared.”

“I…”

She stammered, unsure of how to say it, but the Duke of Hastings interrupted, “They will be hanged. And their heads will be on display outside the castle.”

His voice was too dry as he spoke of the punishment the Count and Countess Whitney would receive.

Jane finally nodded.

“…I’m leaving.”

Jane barely managed to say it.

“I will not see you off.”

As if he had been waiting, the Duke of Hastings’ words of farewell fell.

***

When Jane got home, she wrote a letter to Cain. It said what the Duke and Duchess of Hastings had asked.

She hadn’t realized how difficult it would be to write the three words, “Let’s break up.”

Jane wept as she looked at the dozens of sheets of paper on the floor.

The letters were wet with tears, smudged with ink, and could not be finished because her hand holding the pen was shaking.

‘I hope he won’t come.’

But she didn’t hold out much hope. Since yesterday, things had always gone against her wishes.

And yet, despite her fervent prayers, Cain came.

She locked herself in her room to avoid seeing him.

“Jane, what’s wrong? Open the door.” Cain thumped on the door.

“Go back, Cain!” Jane stood with her back to the door, never opening it.

“You have something to tell me, Jane. Are you serious about breaking up with me?”

“Yes, I mean it.”

Jane bit her bottom lip hard before she lied. The lip she’d been chewing so hard for the past few days was bleeding.

“There must be a reason, Jane! Please, Jane, open the door.”

“I hate you!”

Jane sat down holding the doorknob tightly. She gritted her teeth to keep from crying.

“Miss…”

Elle, Jane’s maid, looked at her sadly.

“Jane, let’s talk face-to-face first.” Cain was persistent.

He added, “I’ll wait until you come out.”

A rustling sound came from outside the door. Anticipating a long wait, Cain sat down in the hallway.

The hallway then fell silent. Cain was really waiting for Jane to come out.

Elle began to fidget. “Miss, I think you should go out.”

“If I go out? What should I say?”

Ella didn’t know what to say. If Jane chose Cain, Count and Countess Whitney would die, and if she chose Count and Countess Whitney, her heart would die.

“I’m sorry, Elle. I must have worried you.”

Elle sobbed, unable to answer, and Jane’s heart hardened.

She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her appearance was shabby, her skin was dull, and her face was full of tears.

It was the last thing she wanted Cain to see.

‘No, it’s good. It’s good that he lost interest after seeing me look like this.’

Jane reached for the doorknob. She took a deep breath. Her hand slowly turned the doorknob, then stopped.

Her love for Cain was holding her back.

‘I don’t want to break up with him. But what if we don’t break up?’

Jane asked herself and smiled weakly. It was a smile full of helplessness.

The only thing she could do for her family right now was to break up with Cain.

The illusion of her parents wailing in desperation flashed through her mind.

The corner of Jane’s lips twitched. There was no time for further hesitation. She opened the door.

Cain stood in the doorway.

As if he had come running, his forehead full of sweat that hadn’t been wiped off.

Yet he was still handsome.

He was dazzling to look at, with his clean-shaven features and brilliant blond hair.

His eyes sparkled like a shimmering sea. Whenever she locked eyes with him, she was instantly drawn to him.

Why is he so handsome, even on a day like this?

She hated him for being so handsome, even in his untucked shirt. No, she wanted to hate him.

Reaching for her handkerchief out of habit, she then squeezed her hand.

“Jane!”

Cain stood up and reached for Jane as he always did. Ever since he’d come of age two years ago, their greeting changed from a light hug to a deep hug.

Jane twisted, avoiding Cain’s hand. Cain awkwardly lowered his hand and forced the corner of his mouth up.

He needed to say something, but he was dazed like he’d been hit in the head with a blunt object.

It wasn’t until Cain wiped his face with a dry hand that he came to his senses.

He said, “I knew you’d come out, Jane. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s all going to be okay now, so don’t say anything you don’t mean.”

“No. When I said we should break up, I meant it.” Jane’s head hung low.

“You meant it… why?”

Jane bit her bottom lip.

The wait for her answer felt oppressive. Cain wiped his sweaty hands on his pants.

“If I tell you why, will you break up with me?”

Cain hesitated. He let out a frustrated sigh and returned a slightly belated reply.

“Yeah, Jane. Yes, I will,” Cain answered, trying to soothe her.

He firmly believed that if he could just get past this, she would come back to him.

He foolishly thought so.

Jane took a deep breath. She didn’t think Cain would take the breakup so easily.

If it were the other way around, she wouldn’t have given up on him either.

So she’d already thought of a reason to push him away.

But she didn’t tell him the reason from the beginning because it would have been hurtful to her and to him.

Not just hurt.

The words would cut out Cain’s and Jane’s hearts.

But for the sake of her parents, Jane had no choice but this.

“What can you do for me?”

Cain was taken aback for a moment.

“Anything. I can do anything for you.”

Jane curled her lip. “No, you can’t. You can’t do anything, because you don’t have anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Can you get my parents out of prison, Cain?”

“That’s…”

“See, you can’t, can you? Can you at least give me your signature to save my parents’ lives? You can’t. You can’t do that.”

I don’t really want Cain to start a petition. If he does, I want to stop him, because I don’t want to put him in danger.

“Cain, it wasn’t you that I loved, it was the power of your family.”

The words finally came out of her mouth, but instead of softening, Jane’s heart hardened.

‘Cain, curse me now, tell me you hate me, tell me I’m evil.’

Jane hoped in her heart, but Cain disappointed her.

“You hate me because I’m incompetent?”

“Yes, I hate you.”

“Because the Hastings family isn’t good enough for you?”

“The Hastings doesn’t belong to you.”

Cain was at a loss for words. He’d spent his life thinking that the Hastings family was who he was, but listening to Jane’s words, he realized he was wrong.

He couldn’t give her what she wanted. A hole burned in his heart. Helplessness took over his body.

But he couldn’t let her go. He might not have the power to save Count and Countess Whitney, but he could be responsible for her.

If only she wanted to.

“Look me in the eye and tell me, Jane. Do you really want to break up with me?”

Jane squeezed her eyes shut, then lifted her head. Cain watched her, still. He wanted to take her in his arms and stroke her right now, but she looked like she could break if he touched her.

“Do you want to break up with me, Jane?”

“Yes, I want to break up with you. I don’t want to see your face,” Jane answered immediately as if she had practiced.

Cain’s jaw tightened. He ran a hand over his face. He turned around, clenched and unclenched his fists, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and shook it in frustration.

“You really mean it.”

Cain muttered to himself and then turned to face Jane.

“Can you wait?”

“……”

Cain’s throat bobbed up and down wildly.

“I must have hurt you. I’m sorry, Jane.”

Cain apologized instead of hating her. His eyes were dark with resignation.

Cain turned, leaving Jane in the hallway.

It was over.

Jane’s mouth fell open, and though no sound escaped her throat, she screamed.

He was a good man until the end.

But Jane had changed everything. The good Cain had disappeared from her world. By Jane completely abandoning him.

And the day after Jane killed herself who loved Cain, the date was set for her parents’ execution.