CH 20

――――I…like Riku-chan.

I don’t meant it as a childhood friend. I like…Riku-chan as someone of the opposite sex.

I ruminated over Haruno’s words in my mind. It took me a while to understand the meaning of her words.

“……”

“……”

In Hoshimiya’s room, where silence reigns, only the sound of rain can be heard. In a space where there are only the two of us, Haruno and I, I finally understood the meaning of her words, but I couldn’t think straight and couldn’t speak.

“You don’t want to be told that out of the blue, right? Because you’re currently dating Ayana-chan.”

“I’m not dating her.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. You two live together, right? It’s unreasonable to think that you wouldn’t be dating.”

I am not in a relationship with her.

I opened my mouth to explain this, but Haruno beat me to it.

“I like you, Riku-chan.”

“……”

“I finally realized that when I saw Riku-chan befriending a girl other than me. It was so frustrating.”

“I, irritated……”

“I used to think, you know, that the only reason I care about Riku-chan was because we were childhood friends. We’ve been together for a long time….I subconsciously assumed, as a matter of course, that we would be together from now on.”

“I…thought so too.”

“I knew it was the same for you, Riku-chan. But I….didn’t understand. Regardless of the opposite sex or anything else, I want to be there for you because you’re my childhood friend…..And that’s what I thought.”

After speaking that much, Haruno continues saying that it wasn’t like that.

“I didn’t care about you because we grew up together, I cared about you because you’re Riku-chan.”

“That’s…”

“Unn. I like you as the opposite sex, Riku-chan.”

Haruno looks at me in the eyes, and says “I like you” for the umpteenth time.

I don’t know if this is real.

Perhaps I am dreaming? What a thought.

“Sorry, I still don’t understand what you’re talking about……You mean that, seeing me and Hoshimiya getting along so well, Haruno became aware of your affection for me?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“…Is that even possible?”

Isn’t it strange that you were unaware of it until now?

Because me and Haruno have been together for a long time. And yet now it’s too late……

“I think….Riku-chan is a little bad too.”

“Eh, why me?”

“Because, Riku-chan, you never looked at any other girl but me. I…don’t know about that. We’ve been living in our own world for so long…”

“That’s right, but…”

“I’m sure I liked you before I even noticed what it was like to love you.”

“――――!”

""

I gulped.

Haruno’s words were calm as they were factual.

“I don’t know for how long I’ve liked you, okay? I mean, by the time we were in first grade, we were taking baths together, sleeping together.”

“Yes, we did.”

“I can’t say it well myself, but it was normal for me to be like you. That’s why I didn’t have time to be aware of it……Besides, Riku-chan never talked to other girls, so I never experienced jealousy…”

Haruno giggles as if making excuses.

In the past, I didn’t need anything other than Haruno. I was not interested in women other than her.

“I’m terrible, aren’t I? After hurting you, I can’t believe I’m talking like this in her room….”

She was blaming herself. When I looked closer, I was that her eyes were bloodshot.

“I really want to be by Riku-chan’s side no matter what, and I want to be the only one who is special to you. I don’t want Ayana-chan to take…Riku-chan away from me….!”

“Haruno…”

“But if you’re already in a relationship…If Riku-chan chose Ayana-chan…I’ll have to put up with it.”

Her words were clearly forced.

She stares at the floor with a downcast look and grips her own left arm tightly with her right hand.

“I’ve told you many times Haruno, but I and Hoshimiya are not dating.”

“Why are you lying? Is it revenge? Because I rejected you?”

“That’s not it. I’m really not dating Hoshimiya.”

“Then why are you staying at Ayana-chan’s house?”

“It’s…a long story.”

“Tell me.”

Haruno stares straight at me, and after some hesitation, I decided to speak.

The day Haruno rejected me, I went to the mountains to commit suicide. On the way there, I stopped at a convenience store and saved Hoshimiya from being attacked by a robber. The time that Hoshimiya cried to me not to kill myself. Staying at her house.

And that she was the victim of stalking and asked for help…

I made her listen to everything.

“……”

Haruno turned her head and completely shut her mouth.

When she heard that I was contemplating suicide, her face contorted and she was on the verge of tears.

She must be sorting things out in her head right now.

“Haruno. You don’t have to worry about my suicide attempt. It’s over now.”

I tried to be cheerful, but Haruno muttered a small “…of course I’m worried.”

“Eh?”

“I…I care! Of course I’d care!”

Haruno stood up vigorously and shouted with a force that made her feel as if she were about to vomit blood.

“Haruno, you’re speaking too loudly…”

“When Riku-chan was left all alone, I thought to myself!? I wondered what I could do for you! How I could heal your heart…..And yet, I…drove Riku-chan in a corner! Of course…I’d care!”

Tears were in Haruno’s eyes as she screamed to the end, letting her emotions take over.

""

Tears overflowed one after another, running down her cheeks to the tip of her chin.

This may be the first time….I’ve seen Haruno cry like this.

“Even if Riku-chan forgives me……I can’t forgive myself……!”

“I mean, I’m still alive as far as the outcome is concerned, right?”

“I don’t care! If it weren’t for Ayana-chan…You’d be dead! I would have killed you!”

“C, calm down!”

Haruno is getting more and more agitated.

I get up and try to comfort her.

“No more! I…should have been the one to die!”

“Haruno!”

I impulsively and forcefully hugged my childhood friend in front of my as she sobbed.

In my arms, Haruno was jittery and flailing around, but she regained her calm little by little.

“…Riku-chan?”

“Don’t tell me you wanted to die.”

I am so glad I didn’t commit suicide now….from the bottom of my heart.

If I had died, Haruno would definitely have gone after me.

“If the person I love dies, what face will I have to live with from here on out?”

“…Riku-chan…you can’t say that about people.”

“That’s true. But that’s how much I liked you.”

“…I love you too, Riku-chan. Most of the days I’ve lived up until now were spent with you…….”

“……”

“……”

After all the commotion, it was very quiet.

“……”

“……”

Haruno, embraced by me, gazes at me with feverish eyes.

“Riku-chan….”

“Haruno……”

Was the name calling a signal?

Haruno closed her eyes and lightly lifted her chin.

I intuitively understood what she wanted.

I brought my face close to hers to kiss her――――

――――Kuromine-kun.

“…Hoshimiya?”

“Eh?”

Just before kissing her, I stop moving. Haruno opened her eyes and was puzzled.

“Ah, no….Why did I remember Hoshimiya…Huh?”

“I see….I knew it was like that.”

“Th, that’s wrong. This is…..I wonder…Sorry.”

No matter how I put it, I was now the worst of the worst.

Understanding this, I could not say anything.

What I just said ruined the atmosphere.

What kind of abuse would I receive from Haruno?

However, Haruno was smiling a benevolent smile that seemed to encompass everything.

“It’s okay, Riku-chan.”

“…Haruno?”

“You like Ayana-chan too, right?”

“Unn……”

I fell in love with two girls at once.

However, there is something fundamentally different about the feelings I have for Hoshimiya than the fondness I have for Haruno. But if I had to give this feeling a name, I could think of no other than ‘like’.

“I like you. I like you so much that most of my life is about you.”

“Unn….”

“So…The best thing I can do is to make you happy.”

“Um…In other words?”

“If Riku-chan chooses Ayana-chan, I’ll accept it.”

“Th, that’s…”

“Of course I’d be annoying if you were getting along, and I’d be jealous but…”

Showing her white teeth, Haruno repeated, “I’m a possessive girl.”

“Listen to me. I really do care about Haruno……”

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Just go about your daily life from now on and take your time to think about it. Like me, you may come to realize your feelings at some point.”

“….realize….how I feel.”

“Unn. You’re still staying at Ayana-chan, right?” As you live together, realize….Hey, Riku-chan, do you have to live in the same room? Wouldn’t a doghouse be better?”

“Isn’t that crazy? That’s human abuse.”

“Because…I don’t like the idea of you being with another girl.”

Haruno writes the character “no” on my chest with her fingertips. My sulky childhood friend is cute. Even so, it’s strange that she would choose the doghouse.

“I think I’m going to be jealous a lot from now on. Just imagining about it makes me sick.”

“Imagining what?”

“The image of Riku-chan talking to a girl other than me.”

She really is possessive, as she says herself. Do you just hate me talking to other girls?

“I’ve never even imagined it until now. But even so, Riku-chan’s happiness comes first….”

“Thank you.”

Haruno is thinking about me even though she is jealous.

As I said, my childhood friend is a wonderful woman.

“I’m going to check again, Riku-chan isn’t dating Ayana-chan, right?”

“Un.”

“But you like her?”

“I wonder if that’s true……”

Hoshimiya is someone who saved my life.

And Haruno is someone who supported me.

I don’t think I can choose one over the other.

I don’t think I am in a position where I can choose a girl.

Above all, Hoshimiya’s feelings are probably the most important. I can’t help but wonder what she thinks of me.

“Until Riku-chan gives me an answer…I’ll be waiting.”

“But you’re jealous, right?”

“Unn.”

Haruno immediately answers. She’ll wait for an answer, but her possessiveness is also alive and well….

In a sense, she has a dexterous mind.

But, well, I think the rift has been broken by our frankness with each other in this way.

I guess you could call it a step forward. I know Haruno’s true feelings, and Haruno knows mine.

“Don’t worry. Even if Riku-chan chooses Ayana-chan, I won’t hold a grudge…I’ll be miffed and I’ll probably cry. Also, I think I’ll go berserk with jealousy every day.”

…Isn’t that an indirect threat?