CH 35

There Are Times When He Feels Lonely

Translated by HamletJr

Edited by HamletJr

“Bye, bye, Ryuichi-kun. See you later.”

“Come back anytime.”

“Yup. I’ll be back for the good food and good women.”

With those parting words, Ryuichi left Shizuna’s home. Feeling the illusion of being thrown out of their warm atmosphere into a cold one, he realized that he was being changed by these women. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but rather one that made him want to immerse himself in it even more.

“You watching this, you bastard of a mother? There was a time when I wanted this from you too.”

He muttered without any sort of emotion. The more time he spent with Shizuna and the others these days, the more he felt the gap between his present and past memories. Once told by both his father and mother that he wasn’t needed and that they didn’t want to think of him as a son, Ryuichi had now been changed by the influence of others. What would his late parents think if they saw Ryuichi now, and what would they think if they saw the girls who were attracted to him…?

“Ugh, fuck it.”

He spat those words and continued walking.

There was no way anybody could’ve noticed his mental turmoil. However, despite that, perhaps Shizuna had felt something as the door behind Ryuichi’s back opened with a bang.

“Huh?”

Of course, even Ryuichi was surprised as he turned around.

“Wait, Ryuichi-kun.”

“Shizuna?”

She walked out of the house. She then jumped straight into his chest and hugged him. Unlike Ryuichi, who was in his school uniform, she was in her pajamas without a jacket. Even though it was cold at night, her light outfit made him wonder if she was trying to catch a cold.

“Sorry. I just wanted to do this for a bit.”

“I see…”

He held her body tightly so that she wouldn’t feel cold as she hugged him. Her body was supposed to be warm, but it was getting colder and colder because she was outside. Sakie was probably waiting for Shizuna with worry on the other side of the door.

“C’mon, you better head back fast or else you’ll get a cold.”

“…You’re right. Thank you, Ryuichi-kun.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that.”

In fact, he was the one who wanted to say thank you to her. He had been feeling a little sentimental about having to leave the warm place Shizuna and Sakie had given him and being thrown out into the cold outside. Her kindness permeated his heart and distracted him from that mood, even if only slightly…and he was reminded once more that the person in front of him was someone very important to him.

“Shizuna.”

“…Mmm.”

Unable to resist the urge, he stole her lips. She responded by putting her arms around his back. It was a light, pecking kiss, not the deep kind where they used their tongues. She looked regretful as their lips parted from each other, but knew that otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from going further with him.

“I get really naughty when I’m with you, don’t I?”

“Heh, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes, it is. I’m only a bad, naughty girl for you, Ryuichi-kun. ♪”

“A bad girl, huh. Do you like that phrase that much?”

“Hmm, I’m not sure. It does have a nice ring to it, though.”

“Oh really, now?” Ryuichi remarked as he laughed. For some reason they didn’t say anything more and just continued to stare at one another for a long time. Then, Shizuna gave a cute little sneeze. See, what did I tell you? He gave her a look of exasperation, but immediately put his hand on her back, since he was the one who had kissed her.

“This is where we say goodbye for today. I’ll c’ya later, ‘kay?”

“Ah…okay. See you later.”

He could tell her dilemma; she knew they had to part, but she didn’t want to. As for Ryuichi, he wanted to think of this as a nice parting where they could just make plans for their next time without regrets…and as such, he didn’t really want to look at her expression then.

“……”

He put his hand on her back and pushed her toward the doorway, but he was somewhat reluctant to do so honestly. Something had changed in him; clearly sensing this, he clicked his tongue a little.

“…Y’know, I feel like even I’ve changed. Like, completely, ever since I saved you.”

“Ryuichi-kun.”

He removed his hand that was on her back and hugged her again, putting his arms around her stomach. It was tight and quite forceful, and her face contorted a bit in pain. But never did she say it hurt or that she didn’t want to; her cheeks only turned red and she let out a sweet sigh.

“Aight, I’mma head home now.”

“Ah… Okay, I understand.”

“Come on, don’t make such a sad face, please.”

“I can’t help it. I’m just going to miss you so much.”

He gave a chuckle, thinking that he really wouldn’t be able to go home at this rate. He quickly parted from Shizuna, and after making sure she entered the house, he started walking. He didn’t feel like going straight home, so he decided to head into town.

“Man, it’s always crowded here no matter when I visit.”

A city was fundamentally a place that would always be in full swing when nighttime arrived. Mornings and noons were spent with bated breath, and when nighttime finally came, it would begin to show its many colors and be filled with lots of noise. The people nearby would gather like a swarm of insects attracted by light, and drunken men would often be seen being solicited by various women.

“Hey there, would you like to come to our place?”

As he was looking around, a woman called out to him. The building behind her was a cheap-looking bar, but the menu posted at the entrance suggested that their prices were reasonable.

“I’m a student, just so you know.”

“Doesn’t look like that’s ever stopped you, though?”

“Well, true that.”

Although he was wearing a uniform, his appearance was clearly one of a man who liked to play around. Ryuichi couldn’t talk for the woman who had deliberately called out to him despite knowing he was a student; however, he himself had no intentions of doing that with her. But, he did have a slight desire to tease her.

“Well, what about you? Would that stop you from sleeping with me there tonight?”

“Oh… ♪”

He placed his hand on the shoulder of the woman dressed in a revealing outfit and pointed toward a love hotel. 

The woman seemed surprised for a moment, but then she looked at Ryuichi’s face and her cheeks blushed. Perhaps if he kept pushing, she would follow him even though she was supposed to be soliciting him. Well, as he’d said before, he had no intention of doing that with her at all, so he warned her against being swept away by a bratty juvenile like him and removed his hand from her.

“Ahh… Hey, are you really a high school student? You’ve got to be cosplaying, aren’t you?”

“Why would I be cosplaying in a uniform…well, I guess there are some people who actually do that.”

“But your body is oozing so much sexiness that my female instincts are telling me to let you sweep me away, even if you’re a high schooler.”

“Oh really? Well, that’s flattering to hear.”

Ryuichi started walking away from her just as she reached out for him. He bought a can of juice from a nearby vending machine and quenched his thirst. As he was drinking, Ryuichi suddenly had this thought.

Come to think of it, I know my father’s parents, but I don’t know anything about my mother’s.

He hadn’t given it much thought before, but now that he thought about it, he knew absolutely nothing about his mother’s family. Well, it was possible that her family could have cut ties with her because she was such a bitch, or it was also possible that she could have cut ties with them herself because she was such a cunning woman.

He was sure they were alive and well, just like his father’s parents, but still, he shook his head and thought that it didn’t matter to him at all. But at the same time, it loathed him to think that no matter how many years had passed, the memories of his childhood still clung to him.

“…Even though I get it in my head, why do those assholes keep haunting me like this?”

Ryuichi’s parents were no longer with him. Even though it’d been this way for years now, he could still vividly recall their faces and voices. It was a testament to just how much hatred and disappointment he felt toward them, but would a day ever come when he was freed from this curse?

“Guess I’ll head home. We’re all gonna gather at her place come this weekend anyways, so I’ll just let loose then.”

Ryuichi cackled conspicuously as he tossed his empty can in the trash and walked away.

“……?”

Just as he started moving his feet to return to his apartment, he saw a couple of parents with their child. It was a young boy walking hand in hand with his mother and father. All three of them were smiling, seemingly on their way home from a meal out. He was slightly envious of this warm scene of a family, which he himself had never had, but it did not make him feel bitter.

You better not turn out like me. 

Although he never said it out loud, he muttered those words in his mind. Perhaps he shouldn’t have glanced at him like that, since the boy turned his attention to Ryuichi and waved his hand at him. The boy’s parents then hid him from Ryuichi, scolded him to stop, and then quickly strode away, not wanting to get involved with Ryuichi at all.

“…Don’t turn into a delinquent like me in the future.”

His words were tinged with a hint of melancholy.