CH 66

“Fourth Boss, the mountain hideout is on fire!”

The Fourth Boss was dozing off against the mountain wall, and got shaken awake by his subordinates. He picked up his nine-ringed broadsword, got to his feet, then saw the fire in the distance. 

“Should we go back to have a look?” his subordinates asked. They were all talking noisily amongst themselves now.

“Shut up!” Old Fourth roared. “You’re all not to move from your positions. We must guard this road, or we’ll be done for when the soldiers attack.”

The mountain bandits quietened down on hearing this. The minion who was in charge of sending messages ran into the camp, going so quickly that he nearly tripped over his own two feet. “Fourth Boss, it’s bad, the hideout’s food stores have been burned!”

Everyone started panicking at that point. The food stores being burned was a terrible disaster. Their hideout’s strong point was that it was easy to defend and difficult to attack, and that was how they had held out all these years. Their hideout had been so strong in this regard that the Prefectural Magistrate couldn’t do anything about them, and they had always been able to bully him as they pleased. However, now that their food stores had been reduced to nothing, there wasn’t any point in continuing to stand guard here. It might actually be better to just let themselves get caught by the Imperial soldiers – they’d at least be able to get a bite to eat in jail. 

“What are you panicking for? Big Boss is putting the fire out in the hideout, and we have tons of food. Even if some got burnt, there’d still be a lot left,” Old Fourth said. He continued to stand firm about guarding this narrow pass, and didn’t allow the minions to go back to the hideout.

The hideout was in chaos that entire night. Meanwhile, the soldiers’ camp below the mountain was the very picture of tranquility.

Lou Jing was up before the sky brightened. He wore a martial arts outfit and stood atop a big stone, looking into the distance. Two black-clad figures leapt swiftly between the trees on the mountain and sprang towards Lou Jing.

“Master, both of the food stores in the bandits’ hideout have been burned. Not a grain of rice remains,” Yun San reported. They had poured oil all over the food and burned everything to ashes.

“One side of the hideout is a steep cliff. Other than the two roads leading up and down, there are no other roads or secret passages in and out of the place,” Yun Shiyi said, respectfully offering the results of their investigation to Lou Jing with both hands. “The big man with a nine-ringed broadsword we saw previously is guarding the mountain pass halfway up the mountain. The road leading up to the place they’re guarding is a gentle slope.”

They two of them had nimble hands and feet, and they’d reached the hideout by climbing up the steep face of the cliff. The army couldn’t do that, however. They would have to take one of the roads leading up the mountain.

“Well done,” Lou Jing said, nodding slightly. He let the two guards go and rest.

Xiao Chengjun woke up and saw that the place beside him was empty. He got up, put on his clothes, and went to look for Lou Jing. Just as he exited the tent, he met Zhang Rao and Wang Zhi, who had come in to report to Lou Jing. 

The two froze in shock when they saw the Military Strategist come out from their General’s tent. It was only then that they realised that this Mr Yuan had actually slept with their General for the past two nights! The two of them suddenly had strange expressions on their faces.

In the Yu Dynasty, only the Emperor and the Crown Prince could marry male wives, and as such, marrying a man was seen as something refined and noble. It was very rarely seen amongst the common people, and only the nobility were familiar with this concept. The two Captains, who were not of noble birth, couldn’t help staring at the handsome Military Strategist with a mixture of curiosity and awe.

“The General is not in his tent,” Xiao Chengjun said simply before leaving.

The two Captains exchanged a look, then quickly followed behind him. 

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As a result, they had to run to the mountain spring with buckets to get water to put out the fire. They’d worked hard all night, but they hadn’t managed to save their food stores at all. They could only watch in horror as the fire burnt the rice to ashes. The whole hideout was thick with the fragrant smell of burnt rice, but there was none to eat; everyone had empty bellies even after a hard night’s work.

Meanwhile, the Fourth Boss saw the Imperial soldiers charging up the mountain in the distance, and he immediately became alert. “Guard the stone door! Kill everyone that tries to pass through!” he shouted. 

At the fork of the mountain road, there was a natural stone door. A huge rock hung down from above, forcing taller people to bend down in order to pass through. From this point on, the roads were steep and treacherous. The path was right next to cliffs that were hundreds of feet high, and was so narrow that only one man could pass through at any time.

The bandits readied their swords and set out a wooden palisade fence with iron barbs in front of the stone door. Their eyes were all fixed on the incoming Imperial soldiers who were charging at them with long spears and iron shields.

One li, half a li, thirty feet, ten feet…

The bandits in the front row all gulped nervously, and their hands beaded with sweat. They lifted the big swords in their hands and waited for those spears to plunge at them, at which point they would use their swords to counter-attack. 

Suddenly, the Imperial soldiers all stopped. At a distance of about ten feet from where the bandits were, they started setting up a wooden fence! Thereafter, they started distributing dry rations and eating their breakfast.

All the mountain bandits froze with their swords above their heads. They watched with wide eyes as the Imperial soldiers ate their breakfast and observed them through the wooden fence.

Both sides stared at each other in this fashion for quite some time. Old Fourth couldn’t take it any more, and he shouted across to the soldiers. “What do you mean by this? Ask your leader to come forward and speak with me,” he said.

No one bothered to respond to him even after he shouted for some time. The Imperial soldiers arranged themselves into a simple formation behind the wooden fence. They lined up on both sides of the mountain road such that only one person could pass between them. They had many men, and this human corridor went on for several miles. 

Old Fourth suddenly felt like he was looking at a row full of executioners. Going into it would be akin to entering a hornet’s nest.

After a long while, a man wearing silver armour came forward in a most unhurried manner astride his horse. He sat tall and straight, looking noble and dignified. A faint smile played about his lips, but his eyes were as cold as frost, so cold that they made one shiver just by looking at him.

On closer inspection, he discovered that this man had a splint on his left shoulder, and his arm was in a sling in front of his chest.

“It’s you!’ the Fourth Boss exclaimed, his eyes widening in shock. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. “You… you… aren’t you…” This fellow was obviously that boy toy who’d been cradled in his mortal enemy’s arms – how had he suddenly transformed into the commander of these Imperial troops? 

Lou Jing gave him a frosty smile. “I am the General Zhennan, and I have command of the Nansi Prefectural Troops. Your lot are making trouble in Jiucheng, so I naturally have to come and set things in order!” he said.

The bandits were very surprised, and started whispering among themselves. They might not know what post the “General Zhennan” was, exactly, but they knew what it meant to have command of the Nansi Prefectural Troops! They heard that the Prefectural Governor had taken practically half of the Nansi Prefectural Troops’ men, and that was why they had acted so fearlessly recently, but now…

“The heavens look kindly upon magnanimity, and this general also does not wish to have unnecessary bloodshed,” Lou Jing said, using his neili to channel his voice. His words rang out crisp and clear, echoing in the mountain valley and striking deep into the hearts of the listeners.

A tall, broad-shouldered soldier next to Lou Jing took out an official notice and displayed it with a flourish. “All who put down their arms, accept amnesty and agree to enlistment in the army will be allowed to pass through safely and enter their names on the namelist to become soldiers in the Nansi Prefectural Army!” he said in a ringing voice. 

The whispers amongst the bandits became excited now. Entering the army – that was an incredible opportunity! Not only could they avoid imprisonment, they could even be called respectable soldiers!

“You must decide by sunset,” the General Zhennan said casually. He then tugged at his horse’s reins and turned it back down the mountain, leaving the orderly soldiers in formation and the bandits in turmoil. The latter had a difficult decision to make.

Breakfast had not been sent down to the bandits even though they’d sent people to chase for it multiple times. They had stayed up all night to guard this pass and were starving. As they looked at the well-fed, healthy-looking soldiers, they suddenly felt incomparably morose.

“Fourth… Fourth Boss, Big Boss asks you to go up to the hideout to discuss matters,” one of the runners said, a pained expression on his face as he whispered this into his ear. 

Old Fourth frowned deeply. He looked at the soldiers opposite, hesitated a moment, then hefted his huge nine-ringed broadsword onto his shoulder and instructed his men to guard this pass well before striding quickly away.

The runner was about to leave when one of the minor bosses caught hold of his collar. “Gou Dan, why hasn’t breakfast been sent to us?” he growled.

“There’s none! Even I haven’t eaten at all!” Gou Dan protested. He struggled free and was about to slink away when a few others caught hold of him and insisted that he tell them what was happening back in their hideout. “All the food stores have been burnt to nothing! There’s no rice to be had at all!”

At the foot of the mountain, Lou Jing pulled up a chair and sat next to his Military Strategist. The Lord Military Strategist had set up a table at the front of the army camp and was presently leafing through a thick record book that was essentially a namelist of the people in the Nansi Prefectural Troops. 

Xiao Chengjun looked at the mountain road, which was as quiet as ever. “Will this work?” he asked.

Lou Jing wiggled his eyebrows at him. “Since you don’t believe me, let’s make a bet,” he said.

“What are we betting on?” Xiao Chengjun asked, smiling at Lou Jing.

“Naturally, we’re betting on…” Lou Jing smiled wickedly as he scooted closer to his husband and whispered into his ear. 

“You…! Do you think of anything else but these things?!” Xiao Chengjun said rather helplessly.

“This is the only thing I find lacking in my life!” Lou Jing harrumphed self-righteously. He picked up an empty notebook and wrote down their bet. He also added the compensation Xiao Chengjun agreed to give him the day before for good measure, then stuffed it into the folds of his clothes.

Xiao Chengjun chuckled. He hadn’t agreed to the bet, had he? Just as he was about to try and reason with the fellow, he saw a whole bunch of people walk down the mountain, making quite a bit of noise as they approached. They all came empty-handed, with no weapons whatsoever.

The roads on Jiuqi Mountain were narrow and treacherous, and originally, this was used to the mountain bandits’ advantage, but right now, it was the very thing that prevented them from being able to flee. There was no food left in the hideout, and if they persisted in holding out, they might starve to death. On the other hand, if they surrendered before sunset, they could even join the army! Only an idiot would remain on the mountain in these circumstances. Once the first bandit had decided to surrender, the second followed, and then a third – the minor bandit bosses were unable to stem the tide, and they had simply just decided to surrender with them. 

“Form a single file! Come in one by one!” Wang Zhi called out, leading the soldiers stationed in the camp to oversee the bandits’ registration.

Xiao Chengjun called the scribe over on seeing this. He thrust a writing brush into his hand and gave him a few instructions, then called one of the soldiers over to get him to ask the necessary questions to the mountain bandits so that things could proceed more efficiently. After that, he left with a swish of his sleeves.

Lou Jing looked at his Military Strategist, who was slacking off self-righteously, as if bumming around was exactly what he was paid to do. He suddenly felt his heart flutter in his chest. He slowly sidled over, and just as he was about to say something, he was interrupted by a flurry of pounding hooves.

“Report! Reporting to the General, the Big Boss of the mountain bandits has killed ten of the people who tried to surrender. They’re charging down the mountain right now with Miss Yang held hostage at the head of the column!” one of their messenger soldiers who had been stationed on the mountain said as he rode into the camp. 

“Get on your horses!” Lou Jing said, making a signal with his hand as he flipped onto his horse.

“You shouldn’t go,” Xiao Chengjun said, his brows creasing in anxiety. This wasn’t a crucial battle that couldn’t be won unless the General himself made an appearance, and Lou Jing’s left arm was still broken. He didn’t think Lou Jing should be putting himself in danger like this.

“I want to personally catch hold of that nine-ringed broadsword fellow. When I do, we’ll talk about the prize you’ll give me,” Lou Jing said, giving Xiao Chengjun a mischievous smile. He kicked his horse’s ribs and galloped up the mountain road.

“Old Fourth, is this going to work?” the Big Boss asked. He had thick, bushy sideburns, and many gold chains and valuables were hung about his person. He followed the burly fellow carrying the nine-ringed broadsword down the mountain step by step. 

“It has to! I refuse to become the Imperial Court’s dog!” the Fourth Boss said, sniffing coldly. He raised his broadsword and cleaved a wooden palisade into two.

“Put that young lass and those two weaklings right up front!” Bushy Sideburns shouted.

Lou Jing guided his horse toward the stone door. When he got there, he saw a few lackeys pushing a pink-clad young lady and two men with their hands tied behind their backs forward. Those two men weren’t strangers at all – they were Yun Si and Yun Wu, who had been missing all this while!

The author has something to say: Mini-theatre 

One day, the Emperor Bunny found a debt written out by Little Kitty Lou in an account book as he was rummaging around. He was very curious, and so opened it to have a look. The debt was recorded as follows:

X Year X Month X Day: Yuanlang agreed to compensate me with the 7th position described in that little lewd book

X Year X Month X Day: I won the bet, and the prize was the 13th position described in the little lewd book

… … 

X Year X Month X Day: Today I didn’t manage to get the better of him. I must find a way to make Yuanlang agree to the 18th position, meow~