[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]
Chapter 124
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Unbelievers I
1
Can you guess what promise Koreans will absolutely never keep?
"Let's have a meal together sometime."
That's right.
To Koreans, this phrase does not literally mean that they want to meet up and increase insulin secretion together when they are genuinely hungry.
If we interpret it strictly, it means something like:
"Though we are not allies, let us declare here and now that we are not enemies either."
Each country has its own sophisticated diplomatic expressions like this.
For example, if a resident of Kyoto asks you, "Would you like some ochazuke?" it wouldn't be wise to respond with "Wow! Traditional food! Japanese people are so kind!"
Similarly, if North Korea fires a missile, it doesn't mean "Die, South Korean bastards!" but rather "Look at us! We exist too!" Automatic AI translation should be applied in your mind.
The same goes for "Let's have a meal together sometime." If you respond with, "Yes! My friend! When shall we meet? Tomorrow? Next week?" the other person might seriously doubt whether this diplomatic relationship is worth maintaining.
And there's a universal diplomatic maxim that transcends borders:
"The end of the world is approaching soon! Everyone!"
"Hell is coming! Ah! I can see the landscape of hell with my eyes! Get on the new ark before the hellfire pours down!"
"Who am I? I am the son of heaven and the savior. Those who believe in this truth will be blessed, but disasters will follow the unbelievers."
This is precisely the apocalyptic rhetoric of cults.
Anyone who lives with their internal translation function always on, as general people do, knows that when cult members say "The end will come someday, one day!" the correct interpretation is "―But if you donate, we might be able to extend the deadline of the apocalypse for you."
People who fail to understand such basic diplomatic language are few in any country. These marginalized individuals, excluded from international diplomacy, are always subject to exploitation.
And then, the void arrived.
"Wow! The end has really come! The guru's prophecy was true! Guru, what should we do now? Shall we merrily start mass suicide as you mentioned before?"
"Ugh."
The monsters' brains had no translation function. Naturally, they could not understand the subtle diplomacy of humans.
On the very day the void arrived, cult leaders worldwide wanted to ask the monsters, "Aren't you damn clueless?"
"No....... I mean. Listen, just because the apocalypse is near doesn't necessarily mean we have to commit suicide......."
"Guru, stop talking nonsense and commit suicide quickly."
Most of the gurus found themselves being treated as the clueless ones.
But there was no need to be too sad. The believers were not so cruel as to ostracize their gurus. They earnestly achieved the "Prophecy Fulfilled" achievement together.
-Breaking news. Evidence of a mass suicide committed at a facility in Chungcheongbuk-do around 11 a.m. today...
-According to police investigations, there seems to be no clear connection between the recent series of mass incidents...
-The terrorists who occupied the Seoul subway have been identified as members of a certain cult. They committed mass suicide once a day, including their guru...
A harsh season had come for cult leaders.
There had never been such unemployment in history. Those running cults had to make tougher choices.
However, it is said that heroes appear in times of chaos.Fôll0w current novÊls on n/o/(v)/3l/b((in).(co/m)
In Korea, two cult leaders managed to shout "I want to live! With you!" overcoming countless suicide suggestions――.
Entry Number One.
"All awakened ones must join the New Buddhism to free themselves from the sin of killing as soon as possible! Those who don't, go against the will of Hwaeom! They are disrupting the peace of all beings!"
"Immortal life without killing! Immortal Hwaeom! Eternal peace of a billion miles!"
[PR/N: Hwaeom is the name of the Korean transmission of the Huayan school of East Asian Buddhism]
New Buddhism.
A certain monk who had settled in central Korea at the right time reached enlightenment upon seeing the zombie virus, Udumbara, spreading in his city.
The faith that putting a flower on one's head would protect one from the monsters resonated with modern people who already doubted the efficiency of their mental AI translators. They willingly replaced their internal translators with a more eco-friendly substance.
New Buddhism rapidly expanded its influence, displaying fierce authority that dominated the entire Korean Peninsula, the Japanese Archipelago, and the Chinese Mainland. At one time, Korea's most significant export was not K-pop but K-religion.
Of course, once I started repelling Udumbara, it all came to naught. The monk amicably held hands with his followers and booked a one-way ticket to the other shore.
Entry Number Two.
"Understood! Brothers and sisters! As your shepherd, I will lead the way!"
"That's our leader!"
"Mo Gwangseo! Mo Gwangseo!"
Mo Gwangseo.
Like all pioneers who create new doctrines, Mo Gwangseo had a unique history.
Mo Gwangseo was a warrior of squared excommunication, having been declared heretical by the Catholic Church and then again by the organization Mary's Ark of Salvation. He was a truly extraordinary cultist.
Like heroines in light novels falling for the protagonist's head-patting technique, the followers wept, washing their tears with more tears, and kissed Mo Gwangseo's feet, pledging eternal loyalty.
"It's the resurrection! It's the miracle of resurrection!"
The followers no longer needed a 'wind path' to ascend to heaven.
The land where the resurrected Jesus existed was the holy temple.
There were no trumpet sounds, nor visible angels, but such trivial details didn't matter. To live in a cult, one needed the courage to ignore life's trivialities. And the 200 followers were indeed courageous.
"Leader Mo Gwangseo was the resurrected Jesus!"
"Oh, Amen! Amen!"
"I've been saved! We've been saved!"
Mo Gwangseo had won.
Where? In the religious war.
In this place called the Korean Peninsula, a jar of loneliness where 20 gods and 50 resurrected Jesuses fought an eternal crusade, Mo Gwangseo was chosen as the last one standing.
Now, Mo Gwangseo's cult was reborn under the name 'Resurrection Church.'
"Spread this miracle far and wide!"
"We believe in the miracle of holy water and holy fire!"
"Preach and keep preaching! Amen!"
The followers of the Resurrection Church roamed around the country with holy water—gasoline—marked on their foreheads.
While the New Buddhism absorbed followers from the Buddhist sects, the Resurrection Church eagerly consumed Christian believers.
Of course, followers of other local cults became the most desirable prey.
"What? You want me to renounce my faith? What a joke! Our leader received the Eucharist from the Pope himself, which turned into flesh and blood in his mouth. The statue of the Virgin Mary in our church cried tears 500 times, and we have photos and evidence!"
"Yeah, so what? Our leader resurrected."
"What?"
"Our leader is the resurrected Jesus. What are you going to do about it?"
Mo Gwangseo's resurrection didn't happen just once. The first instance was difficult, but the second, third, and fourth were easy.
Every Sunday, Mo Gwangseo was engulfed in gasoline and set ablaze. Each time, he walked out, emitting light.
With an endlessly benevolent smile.
"Oh, ohhh!"
"Do you believe now?"
"I believeee! Amen!"
The material 'evidence' other cults boasted about became powerless in the face of the vivid resurrection show happening before their eyes.
The sin of killing their leader, whom they worshipped as Jesus, every Sunday could be justified in the name of their missionary duty. It was crucial not to expect rational reasoning from them.
Those who attended Sunday Mass and renounced their previous faith returned to their bases and immediately arrested the 'false prophets.'
"No! You Satanic bastards! Do you think you'll get away with this?"
"Shut up! You are the Satan!"
"What, what?"
Competitors, who were God and Jesus just yesterday, turned into Satan overnight.
The believers chastised themselves for being deceived by the Antichrist and poured the holy water they received from the Resurrection Church on the heads of the Satanists.
"Please, spare me! Please, spare me!"
"Ether shall purify the wicked soul. Amen."
"Amen!"
Holy bonfires were lit all over the country. Naturally, I began hearing stories about the Resurrection Church while commuting between Seoul and Busan.
"...This is insane."
My eyes turned cold.
There was nothing special about cults themselves. South Korea had always been overflowing with cults.
Ever since Dangun hypnotized a perfectly fine bear by telling it, "From now on, you're not a bear but a human, got it?" this land had been famous as a mecca for mental indoctrination.
[PR/N: In Korean legends, a tiger and a bear lived in a cave and prayed to God to become human beings. Their wish can only become true if they can only eat mugwort and garlic for 100 days in the cave. The tiger gave up after 20 days but the bear succeeded and turned into a woman who gave birth to the founder of Korea.]
But the Resurrection Church was somewhat different.
I was a rational Korean. So, when I heard about Mo Gwangseo, my mind immediately began processing like an AI translator.
A being that keeps coming back to life?
Yet, doesn't understand human language?
Emits light and smiles silently each time it resurrects?
"No matter how I look at it, that's not a human, just a case of a human turning into a monstrosity."
Exactly.
These cultists were no longer satisfied with worshiping humans and had begun to revere 'monstrosities' as Jesus.
[Translator - Jjescus]
[Proofreader - Gun]