Chapter 161

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

Chapter 161

──────

Potato II

4

As you all know well, the Saintess was genuinely committed to her life as a recluse.

One might think she would expand her circle of acquaintances out of loneliness, but apart from me, she didn’t form any personal relationships at all.

She didn’t even engage in online communities.

While she observed the trends on SG-Net, she never posted or commented herself. There was a reason her SG-Net nickname hadn't appeared until now.

When I asked her if she ever felt lonely.

"The moment of death—no matter if you're surrounded by family at your deathbed—the final 0.01 seconds before your consciousness falls into the abyss, no one can share that moment with you."

"We are all moving toward that 0.01 seconds. It’s a moment of quiet and silence that no human being can dress up with words or concepts."

"If that’s loneliness, then daily life is just a gradual purification of that ultimate loneliness. I choose to accept that air as it is."

That was her answer.

While I nodded and said, “Oh,” I also tilted my head a bit. Doesn’t that just mean she’s lonely?

In any case, the Saintess was not a recluse by circumstance, but a voluntary one, and even in a philosophical sense. It would be extremely difficult for someone like her to get close to another person.

But what if, instead of a human, a potato appeared?

“Oh, hello! Potato...! G-good morning!”

Sim Aryeon greeted with a bow in the lobby of the hideout.

Then, the Saintess-Potato, aboard a robot, casually moved the robotic arm to return the greeting.

“Yes. Good morning, Ms. Sim Aryeon.”

“Hehe... Yes!”

It wasn’t just Sim Aryeon.

“Hello. Good morning. Your potato sprouts look pretty.”

“Yes. Good morning to you too, Ms. Lee Hayul.”

“Wow, Saintess! Your potato skin looks extra shiny today! You look great!”

“Thank you, Mr. Seo Gyu.”

Everyone in the hideout greeted the Saintess-Potato with bright smiles and faces.

Meanwhile, my jaw was practically on the floor, ready to jump off and do a bungee jump towards Newton's gravity.

What in the world was going on?

"Oh, by the way, Saintess, there's a meeting of the SG-Net houseplant club members coming up. Would you like to join us? Everyone would love it if you came!"

“Yes, I’ll join. But I’ll have to hide my identity.”

“S-Saintess, let me water you with this watering can...! Hehe. You like this, right?”

“Thank you. It feels very nice.”

“Sister Saintess. You have a drink with Leader Noh Doha today. Could you come too?”

“Gladly.”

The hideout was buzzing with noise. All the guild members were gathering around the Saintess-Potato, engaging in a fierce middle-school-style popularity contest (“I’m closer to her than you are!” “What are you talking about? I’m way closer!”).

Yes.

Somehow, I don't know by what principle, but surprisingly, the robot-potato-Saintess was enjoying massive popularity.

It was different when she was confined to her weak human flesh, but now as a potato, she was loved and adored by everyone.

But why?

"Oh. Didn’t you know, boss?"

"Know what?"

"The Saintess recently decided to start a new Constellation service."

With that, Seo Gyu showed me a document file. The document read as follows:

---

[Announcement]

Starting today, the Constellation "Understanding of Agony" will provide psychological counseling to Awakeners.

In this harsh apocalyptic era.

The physical pain is severe, but so is the psychological suffering, yet when you vent your stress, all you get back is, "At least you're alive, why are you complaining?"

Are you unable to express your pain to those around you because you're afraid of appearing weak or being laughed at?

Rely on the Constellation "Understanding of Agony," not on humans. The Constellation will not use your weaknesses against you, nor mock you.

Don’t hesitate to ask for counseling.

---

“...”

“This is the draft. The Saintess is currently beta-testing this service with us. I must say, she's really good at counseling!”

Seo Gyu said.

Thank goodness I’m a regressor who doesn’t have to worry about dentures even when I get old. If I had been wearing dentures, they would’ve just fallen out.

“Psychological counseling...?”

What?

[I hated humans because I thought I was the same species as them.]

[Now that we’re of different species, I can look at them objectively and warmly. Like looking at a cute animal.]

[Doctor Jang. You probably see me as something strange. But would it be dangerous even if I've turned into something strange? After all, I'm just a potato.]

[A potato that loves humans.]

"..."

[I'm very happy right now.]

"My goodness."

I held my head in my hands.

Right. If the saintess had fallen and become the ‘Executioner' she should have been exterminated immediately, but the 'robot-potato-saintess' was... honestly, not particularly threatening!

The saintess in that form was too weak. It was obvious that the saintess's combat power was limited without being able to use aura. Even weak fighters like Sim Aryeon or Noh Doha could probably take her down in one shot.

Most of all, I didn't want to exterminate the saintess, who had begun to realize her love for humanity for the first time in history.

[And there’s something I’d like to ask you, Doctor Jang.]

“What is it...?”

[Please dice me into cubes.]

What kind of nonsense is this?

[Doctor Jang, do you know how potatoes reproduce?]

"...You cut them into pieces and plant them, making sure each piece has an eye."

[Yes. That's one of the ways potatoes reproduce. This is just my hypothesis, but I think I might be able to ‘increase my duplicates’ in the same way.]

Alright.

This is getting seriously strange.

“I really want to argue against you on many levels, but let me ask this first. Why do you want to increase your duplicates?”

[It’s a simple reason.]

The potato-saintess said.

[The number of awakened ones who are seeking psychological counseling from me is increasing at an alarming rate.]

[Even though I’m using time-stop to manage somehow, it’s honestly becoming more and more difficult to focus on each individual. Even when I was talking to Tang Seorin just now, I was actually counseling six people simultaneously.]

“Ah.”

[Besides, I’m not just performing as the ‘Understanding of Agony,’ but also other Constellations. I’m overloaded with work.]

[So I think it would be much more efficient to create more duplicates and divide the roles among them.]

“...”

It made... sense!

The robot-potato-saintess creaked as she stood up cross-legged. Then, she placed her hand on my shoulder with a slender mechanical arm.

[I tried to dice myself, but even for me, the act of cutting my own body into pieces was a bit too much.]

[I’d like to entrust this task to you, Doctor Jang.]

[Even in this form, can I still be considered your comrade, Doctor Jang?]

This person, using a cheat code so slyly!

“Saintess, if I dice you and it ends up killing you...”

[Don’t worry. Even if such a tragedy were to happen, I would never blame you, Doctor Jang.]

With her saying it like that, what else could I do?

I drew my sword and approached the robot-potato-saintess. Then, carefully, I made incisions and diced her into pieces.

“Does it hurt?”

[No. It doesn’t hurt at all. I do feel a somewhat strange sensation, but other than that, there’s no problem.]

“That’s a relief...”

Even as I said this, I wasn’t sure. Was this really a relief? I couldn’t tell.

I took the seed potato pieces and planted them individually in the greenhouse. The soil quality was assured, as the greenhouse had been trampled by the Sword Princess.

A few days later.

The potatoes were successfully cultivated in the greenhouse. I put the potatoes in a basket and brought them to Noh Doha.

“...”

Noh Doha looked at me silently.

Then, also without a word, he made robots for the remaining potatoes as well.

Creak, creak.

A squadron of five robot-potato-saintesses turned to us and sang in chorus.

[Thank] [You] [Doctor Jang] [And Noh Doha] [I’m not sure] [Which of these] [Is the true me] [No, actually] [All of ‘me’] [Are the real me]

“...”

“...”

Noh Doha glanced at me.

“So, you're saying... you’re not an anomaly...?”

It was summer.

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]