Chapter 117: In front of the devil

*Ethan's POV*

About three hours after leaving Alpshar's military headquarters, I finally reached the town where Roxanne was staying. I had previously told the mercenaries to come here because there's one of the continent's largest forests nearby, and if any trouble arose, we could use the forest to escape. But luckily, nothing happened, and the meeting with Alpshar went even better than I expected.

After entering the town, I quickly found the luxurious inn where Roxanne was currently staying, and since it was already midnight, I went upstairs and entered her room. The moment I stepped inside, I saw Roxanne spring out of bed and run toward me.

Her black hair was slightly messy, her eyes filled with worry but also relief as she ran toward me. Her face held both a surprised and loving expression. Roxanne, overwhelmed with tears, hugged me tightly.

"Ethan! You're back!" she said, her voice trembling but filled with joy.

I held her tightly and stroked her hair. "Don't worry, I'm fine. The conversation with Alpshar went better than I expected," I said as I grabbed her by the hips and lifted her up. A small squeal escaped Roxanne's sweet lips, but she still clung to me like a koala. I moved to the bed, leaning back against the pillows with Roxanne in my lap. I still felt a bit guilty about what I had done before.

Roxanne didn't deserve it. She had risked her life for me, and yet I had treated her so terribly. But it was necessary.

Even though I was confident, I would win the throne war, there was always a chance of losing. That's why Roxanne being pregnant, or worse, having my child, was extremely dangerous. After all, if someone becomes king, they can kill their siblings and their children if they wish. They can even take their siblings' wives, but thankfully, since my fiancée is Evangeline, there's nothing to worry about.

No one would want to strengthen Tamerid Empire's most powerful princess. But other things like that had happened frequently in history. For instance, when Richard took the throne, he killed one of his pregnant sister-in-law and her child, and no one said anything. Of course, when this story spread among the people, Richard faced some backlash, but it wasn't very effective.

That's why I didn't want Roxanne to become pregnant. But still, that didn't mean I had to treat her this way.

"Roxy..." I called out to her as she hugged me tightly. Roxanne lifted her head and looked at me with those big, sweet emerald eyes, full of curiosity. "I'm sorry for what happened this morning."

Roxanne blushed a bit and lowered her head again before gripping my arm tightly. I could feel her heartbeat pounding much faster than usual, but was she really reacting this much just because I apologized?... Then Roxanne lifted her head and quickly brought her lips to mine, kissing me. It was a short and sudden kiss, but it felt full of emotion.

"I-I'm fine!..." Roxanne said excitedly before hugging me tightly again, hiding her flushed face.

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I was a bit surprised by the sweetness of the moment, but then I wrapped my arms around Roxanne's soft body. As I held her, I absorbed her warmth and closeness. Her fragility, combined with her strength, was always one of the things that impressed me the most. Listening to her heartbeat, I realized how delicate this moment was. I was trapped between the guilt I felt and the love I had for her.

"Roxy," I whispered, gently stroking her hair. "I don't know when the last time I said this to a woman was, but... I love you."

As the words escaped my lips, I felt a sense of relief, but also a bit of tension. This was something I had never told Roxanne before, and perhaps I had already realized that it was time to admit it. No matter how strong I was around her, it was no longer possible to suppress these feelings. Roxanne had become special to me.

Roxanne slightly raised her head, her large emerald eyes locking onto mine. In that moment, her expression changed; there was surprise, joy, and even a bit of disbelief. Her lips trembled as they parted, but for a moment, she couldn't find the words.

"E-Ethan... do you really mean that?" she whispered, her voice shaking lightly. The tears that had gathered in her eyes reflected the happiness on her face.

Nodding, I took Roxanne's face in my hands. "Yes, Roxy. I'm saying this sincerely. I love you. Your selflessness, the way you've risked everything for me… it's all touched me deeply. But I know I haven't treated you the way you deserve.

I'm aware of that, and from now on, I want everything to change."

A smile spread across Roxanne's lips as the tears in her eyes began to stream down her cheeks. But these were not tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. She hugged me tighter and rested her head against my chest. Her heart was beating so fast that it felt like it might burst through her chest.

"Hearing that... is so beautiful," Roxanne murmured. "I-I love you too, Ethan. I always have... and I always will." Her last words were barely audible, but luckily, since she was right next to me, I could hear her clearly.

Despite feeling her warmth, the coldness inside me still hadn't faded. Her pure, loving words touched me deeply somewhere, but I was used to suppressing my emotions. I had controlled myself for so long that even in moments like this, letting my emotions rise felt like a weakness.

In my previous life, I hadn't been a very emotional person, and now, after everything I had been through in this new life, it had become impossible for me to openly express my feelings to another person...

Thus, our night passed in a way, and even as Roxanne slept, I noticed a wide smile on her face. After we both rested, we continued our journey. Despite the harsh conditions of the south, we managed to make it out of there. However, we soon reached the largest mountains on the continent, which formed a natural border between the south and the kingdom of Herumzan.

These mountains were so vast that it took us several days to go around them, and as we traversed the winding, difficult paths, I couldn't help but be awed by their size.

Humans have always been fascinated by such enormous things. And now, surrounded by mountains that were likely as tall as Everest in my old world, I felt strangely insignificant. It was as if nature was reminding us how small we really were with these giant mountains. It showed how meaningless all the troubles or joys we experienced were in the grand scheme of nature. Who were we, really?

Just pieces of flesh so small that we couldn't even move these colossal mountains an inch.

In the face of nature, one becomes aware of their insignificance, but at the same time, it's impossible not to be mesmerized by nature's magnificence. After all, we humans naturally admire the grand and the sublime. I stopped the carriage and stepped outside for a moment. We were currently on a winding mountain road, probably hundreds or even thousands of meters above sea level.

I opened the carriage door and stepped out. The cool air hit my face, and a fresh mountain breeze swept across my skin. The massive peaks towering around me seemed to pierce through the sky. As I looked around, rocky slopes and seemingly endless cliffs stretched in every direction. Roxanne continued to sleep inside; I didn't want to wake her.

I needed to experience this moment alone, to confront the tangled emotions within me.

Sometimes, I questioned what my realistic goal was. I fought for the throne, forged alliances, and defeated enemies, but what would I truly gain in the end? A throne, perhaps a kingdom... But when I reached that peak, would I really feel fulfilled? Or would I crave something more?

I looked up at the sky. The clouds had descended and seemed to disappear among the peaks. Nature was so powerful, and in comparison, how weak we were. Just thinking about it created a sense of unease within me. I fought to be strong. I viewed others as weak, but in the face of nature, I was as helpless as anyone else.

I sat down on a rock, letting the surrounding silence seep into me. This silence somewhat soothed the turmoil in my heart. As long as I fought for the throne, I had to remain vigilant every moment. I had to set aside my emotions and keep my mind at the forefront. But every time Roxanne looked at me, something inside me broke.

After a while, I knew I had to return to the carriage. The road ahead would be long and dangerous. Taking a deep breath, I stood up, feeling every bit of the scene I was immersed in. The vastness of the mountains made me feel small, but at the same time, the sense of freedom that came with this smallness was comforting. As I walked towards the carriage, I donned my hardened exterior once more. Searᴄh the NôᴠelFirё.net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

I didn't have the luxury of losing myself in the midst of the mountains. I had to keep going, no matter what, always ready for the fight ahead.

When I opened the door and stepped back inside, Roxanne stirred slightly. The sweet smile on her face was still there. As I looked at her, I tried to suppress the quiet echo inside me. I'm a warrior, a leader. There's no room for feelings; only strength matters. Yet, somehow, her calm presence...

awakened something in my heart. But, as always, the darkness within me—or rather, the monster inside—had won once again. As always...