Chapter 196 - Die For You

To say Zhenyi was drunk would be a lie, but the wine did lose her a bit. She chose to share her secret with him. She chose to trust him like he had said-- no more secrets and no holding back. 

Tonight, she needed someone who could lessen her emotional baggage and there he was like always.

She told him the most painful truth of her life and he didn't seem to hate her like he should, but how would he when he had yet to know that she killed her mother and sister? 

"Where are you lost?" Long Jie's voice brought her out of her all-consuming thoughts. 

Everything fades when he is with her. The world is just a background with her in it, and she is the only focus. 

He nuzzled her neck and she gasped in a tingling sensation. 

"Attention on me, Mrs. Long," Long said, sucking her neck. 

"Always on you, Mr. Long." 

"Things you do to me," murmured Long Jie, nibbling her neck flesh. The blanket was draped over their bodies, his legs enveloped hers and his chest hugging her back. 

Zhenyi turned to face him, her fingers now caressing the outline of his lips. She said in a whisper," What do I do to you?" 

"Everything." 

"You can kill for me?" She asked the startling question out of nowhere. 

Even if the question was odd to him, he didn't react the slightest bit. His reply came," I can die for you." 

And he said she made him speechless. 

She blinked her eyes and leaned over to drop a kiss on the space between the two eyebrows. 

They say, 'Judge a man by what he's willing to die for, not by what he's willing to kill for. What a man dies for makes the man."

She made him. 

She completes him. 

She makes him whole. 

And she didn't doubt her place in his heart. 

However, she still asked. "What's my place in your life, Jie?" 

"You're my life," came the instant reply. 

He stared into her eyes, unblinking. "You're my life, Zhenyi," he repeated, leaving no chances for misunderstandings.

She sighed. 

This amazing, beautiful man just called her his life. What was the need for a place in his life when she was his whole life instead? 

"Don't deny it, Cat eyes," Long Jie's voice came. 

"I'm not. I'm just...confused and perhaps overwhelmed too," said Zhenyi, her eyes fixed on his lips. She was dying to bite them. 

"Why are you confused?" questioned Long Jie, brushing the tendrils off her face. It was the second time since he saw her, she had kept her hair open. Both the times for her. Once at their wedding and then today. They were sacred to him, only he could touch them, admire them and pull them when…

" An hour before the accident, we were on the verge of separating. Only the contract was binding us then and now, look at us. We are inseparable, unwilling to live apart." 

"That was two months ago. Let's not talk about it now." 

"But still…" 

"You have all the reasons to be overwhelmed, Zhenyi. Our life is changing before our eyes, but for the first time in life, I don't want to stop it. I like this change." He gazed at her lovingly." In fact, I love this change." 

Zhenyi nodded, not knowing what to say further. 

He pulled her closer to him, more than she already was and her head rested on his chest. He was addicted to her scent and she was addicted to his warmth. His heat. It made her feel comfortable and homely. He would always hold her like this. It was sort of their thing; not holding her closer seemed foreign and strange to him. 

"We have become a cliche, Jie. Remember how we didn't want to marry each other but now, look at us. Crossing every river of fire to save this marriage. I had never thought that I would be dependent on a man who is not from my family. Well, you're now, but Jie, family is made from the heart not by connecting relations. I was always of the view that if I ever got married it would be a political marriage and I would be stuck in that swamp forever, but look at me now, I am willing to be lost forever if our marriage is that sticky swamp." 

Long Jie chuckled." Don't forget a swamp brought us closer."

It was true the swamp brought these two hearts closer. She chose to give him a real chance when he saved her that rainy night on the mountain where she was stuck in the muddy swamp. 

"So true," Zhenyi agreed. 

"Did you want to marry me, Jie?" Zhenyi asked the question. 

"No." Long Jie answered with a sigh. He was being honest with his wife." I didn't want to marry Xin Zhenyi ever. She was a noose around my neck. A way to control me. A means to bind me to the Long family." 

"Then, why did you marry her?" Zhenyi asked as if she was talking about somebody else. 

Long Jie didn't hesitate to answer her questions with all honesty. 

"She became a necessity. Evil necessity. She became a means to the end. An end I wanted to achieve at any cost. My father is a smart man, Cat eyes. He knew if I didn't get the throne, I would flip and all his plans for the future would be destroyed by his own son. So, he chose a middle ground. He gave me what I needed so desperately. He gave me the powers, but with limitations and that limitation was Xin Zhenyi. A reminder that my own family was limiting me. " 

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