Chapter 239 The Nightmare She Had Chosen And Will Keep Choosing

"Because that's the only thing this primitive person is good at; it's all about between this world or my world. The answer is obvious."

Aries closed her eyes as Abel leaned closer, expecting a long, ardent kiss. But he simply kissed her tenderly, which lasted for several seconds. She reopened her eyes ever so slowly, watching him drew his head back. Silence fell on them as all they did for minutes was stare at each other.

"Will you not fix me?" she broke the silence with a whisper, clutching his shoulders when he shook his head mildly. "Why?"

"That's not my job, darling. You fix you and I fix me." Abel tipped his head until his forehead bumped against hers lightly. "I like the way you are."

"I don't like the way I am." Aries lowered her eyes, the bitterness in them unseen.

"Well, that's you, not me."

"Do you like the way you are?"

"No."

Aries went silent for several seconds before she whispered. "But I like the way you are…" — even if he was a menace, even if Abel was a lunatic, and even if he was akin to a devil incarnate.

But Aries also knew the two of them… needed some fixing. Abel surely thought of that as well. Their relationship might appear a little normal, but it wasn't. How could they have a normal relationship when both of them weren't normal?

Their reasoning was twisted, and they were holding on to each other for anything but righteousness. But then again, what was right? Aries didn't know what was good and evil anymore. The lines were blurry, and all that was clear to her was the turmoil in her heart and those who fueled it.

"You don't like the way I am," he replied after a moment, making her frown slightly. "You don't even know what I am."

"What are you?"

"I just told you what I am."

"Abel." Aries huffed faintly, helpless in the somber mood swallowing the two of them that left her a little breathless.

"Darling, what if I am a monster clad in human skin? A monster who never dies? And drink the blood of another?" he asked in an oddly quiet voice, eyes on her.

Aries pursed her lips as she pondered his question. She knew deep in her heart this was just an example, but the look in his eyes was different. It was hard to point out what the emotion in his eyes was, but her heart knew she needed to answer appropriately and honestly.

"You're already a monster I am terrified of," came out a whisper. "What is the difference between the man who snaps a soldier's neck at our first meeting and an actual monster who simply looked different and had done nothing to me just yet? The monster I met over a year ago… that man who claimed my lips and commented it was bland yet passable; the man who asked me about my rating in bed without regard to how traumatizing it was with just the sheer thought of lying naked with yet another unknown man, and the person who claimed my heart, healed it, and accepted all its flaws but doesn't want to take responsibility for it?"

She paused as she cupped his cheek delicately. "I had always thought you were a monster, Abel. Not because you sometimes wonder how many times you need to step on someone's head before you crush his skull or your capability of ruining any land without lifting a finger." Her eyes fluttered ever so tenderly, staring into those pair of deep red that always seemed to glow, especially in the dark.

"You scared me because you always make me wonder… once I am all healed and open, will you stab me to death? I always wonder when will I lose your favor and fall into the abyss as I helplessly watch you find another person who will give you the thrill you were looking for?" she continued under her breath, leaving her heart out there in the open which she never truly did in the past. "You always scare me, but I still find myself running back in your arms the moment I see you. Despite all those fears lingering in my heart and rotten soul, I still offered you everything without giving myself room for an exit."

"Now tell me, what sort of monster would still terrify me if death isn't what I am scared of?" she breathed out.

There weren't many things that terrified her anymore since she had died many times when the land of Rikhill had fallen. She died over and over with everything she experienced in this very land they were standing on.

"If blood was a necessity for you, then have mine. If you cannot die, then I will reincarnate over and over to be with you. It may sound ridiculous, but I am desperate to prove there are no lengths I will not go to for you." Aries added when all she received from him was silence while staring at her. "Don't push me away just to search for me desperately, just like that night." — that night she left the Rose Palace only to return when she realized she had no one else but him.

"We're crazy, but not that crazy."

Abel bit his tongue until it bled to stop himself from going for the idea that crossed his head. He would show her… but not now, he thought.

"You… are a genius for speaking the things I would like to hear." Abel pinched her chin and his thumb caressed her lower lip gently.

"They were my honest thoughts, and that's the nightmare I chose," she corrected and smiled subtly. "Once things are over in here, let's start over, Abel. Play the piano for me so I can be the judge if those hands are only good for taking lives."

Aries kept her forced smile as she didn't want to end this meeting on a terrible note; she knew it was already terrible but in a heart-gripping way. Abel sometimes just makes her sad.

"For now, I have to strike while the iron is hot." She sandwiched his face with her palm and showered him with gentle pecks from his forehead, nose, and down to his lips. "I'll see you around."

<strong>*******</strong>

When Aries left, Abel had his eyes fixated on the door for a very long time. He slowly peeled his eyes away from it to the chessboard. His eyelids drooped until they were partially closed, taking out the king she was playing previously.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he whispered, watching his hand that was holding the chess piece slowly shift with his nails growing longer, darker until his hands just looked like a hand of a devil.