CH 31.1

‘There might have been wiser and better ways.’

But when she started thinking about the accident, her heart was in a hurry.

She couldn’t know when the gate disaster would occur and had to get all the gates inspected as soon as possible.

Grace drank a glass of water placed next to her and lay back in bed.

But her mind was buzzing, and she couldn’t fall asleep. It was a common occurrence for her not to be able to sleep well once she woke up when she was in pain or sick.

Grace stared blankly at a small jade decoration next to the bed. A voice in her head whispered negative thoughts and pessimism to her.

〈You’re stupid.〉

〈You’re stupid for realizing it only now.〉

〈You were just lucky this time. You won’t be able to accomplish anything.〉

〈Quit. Nobody will support you anyway.〉

〈That’s because you’re not capable.〉

Grace sank deeper into the swamp, completely engrossed in those voices as she lay in bed.

‘I really hate the annex.’

Even if I just stay still, I can still hear these voices?

Because I’m in pain, they sound even louder. They resonate and empathize with me.

‘Should I go to the main building for a while?’

Would the main building feel better? Grace shook her head, saying it didn’t seem like it.

Whenever she went to the main building, she would often see Benjamin, and every time Grace saw Benjamin, the heart in her body, or rather, Grace herself, became restless.

And then, she became troubled again.

She didn’t have confidence in enduring this probation period.

‘First that stone explosion, and now I caught a severe motion sickness…’

Right now, it hurts too much, and she can’t sleep.

She had no face left to show to others, wondering how much they would think of her as a demanding host.

She thought of the knight who had brought her here and felt sorry for him as well.

I have had enough, I will never go to a crowd on purpose again. She murmured to herself and curled up in the blanket again.

‘But I wasn’t like this during the festival.’

Back then, meeting the drunkard was challenging, but she still enjoyed that time, even though Benjamin’s expression at the end was incredibly intimidating. The crowd was scary, but it wasn’t as torturous as the Gate Management Office.

‘Is it because it’s indoors?’

Grace exhaled while still under the blanket. Her curly, carroty hair was tangled messily. Cold sweat dripped down, making her hair messy.

‘Maybe it’s because I haven’t taken the medicine.’

Grace opened the drawer where she had been collecting medicine without taking any until now. She pulled out a stack of medicine envelopes. Grace took one envelope out and fiddled with it.

The rustling sound of the medicine envelope could be heard.

“…”

She had always been suspicious of this medicine and Benjamin, but now she suddenly became suspicious of herself.

Was she too suspicious? Grace pressed her temples.

‘Why are my thoughts so jumbled?’

Knock-knock-knock. The sound of someone tapping on the window echoed.

Grace, almost involuntarily, looked up, thinking of someone.

“…Ah”

It was the sound of the wind blowing and branches hitting the window. Grace realized who she had expected and awkwardly raised the corners of her mouth.

Outside the window was pitch black, and the wind blew gently, causing the leaves to sway. Her mind heated up.

‘…It’s hot.’

Grace stared at the black window in front of her. She hadn’t even closed the curtains, but the window, painted in the color of the night, seemed more solid than anything else.

With one hand still rustling the medicine envelope, Grace slowly approached the window with slow steps.

The latch was firm and cold.

‘It didn’t feel this sturdy last time.’

Grace’s body temperature rose, and everything became more sensitive. With trembling fingertips, she barely managed to unlock the latch and open the window, and the chilly wind immediately messed up her curly hair.

It was hot just a moment ago, but as soon as the cold wind hit her, the cold sweat evaporated, and the chill set in.

But that coldness wasn’t entirely unpleasant. On the contrary, now that she had opened the door, the air felt clearer, and she felt less depressed than before.

Grace looked up at the pitch-black sky where not a single star was visible. It was so dark that she couldn’t gauge the height.

‘It’s refreshing, quiet, and…’

Being high up…

When Grace had reached this point in her thoughts and gently closed her eyes, Benjamin’s urgent voice came from below.

“My Lady!”

“…!”

Upon hearing Benjamin’s voice, Grace finally snapped back to reality.

‘Was I standing here asleep?’

Grace wondered if she had been so tired, feeling startled as she lowered her gaze to where Benjamin’s voice was coming from.

He was still dressed in his overalls as if he had just returned from outside.

Grace contemplated what she should say to Benjamin.