CH 32.1

If the conversation ended here, Grace knew that she wouldn’t be able to rest and would spend the whole day unable to do anything, pondering and coming to her own conclusions.

“…Then…”

After contemplating, Grace asked.

“…Would you like to come in and talk?”

Benjamin froze upon hearing Grace’s question. His eyes widened as if he was stunned, unsure if he had heard correctly.

Grace, too, stiffened, feeling a sense of disbelief at her own words.

‘Am I going crazy because I’m sick?’

She had distanced herself from him, and now she was inviting him in again?

Grace hastily tried to cancel her invitation, but Benjamin’s response came too quickly.

“Are you really okay with me coming in?”

“…”

“Are you really okay with it?”

Grace couldn’t bring herself to say no to Benjamin, who asked twice for confirmation. In the end, she stiffly nodded her head.

Upon receiving her response, he smiled broadly.

“Then, can I come in?”

“Well, I, I mean… I already asked, ‘Would you like to come in?'”

“Ah! I misspoke. I will go in and visit the lady’s room. Please close the windows. The wind is biting.”

Instead of voicing another word, Grace simply nodded her head. Benjamin smiled and quickly headed towards the annex’s door.

The butler of the annex, who had overheard their conversation, pretended not to hear and greeted Benjamin with a composed expression.

As Grace slowly closed the window, she slumped into the seat.

‘Oh, I’m dizzy.’

Maybe it was because she was exposed to the cold wind for too long or because she talked too much, her head was spinning again.

But one thing’s for sure, she didn’t feel as depressed as when she was just lying in bed.

‘I can’t control my emotions too much.’

Grace suddenly felt a deep sense of melancholy and self-deprecation, not knowing what to do in that moment. 

She found herself becoming uneasy in this sudden calmness. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason behind the disappearance of her depression and anxiety.

‘Anyway, Benjamin will be coming in soon, so I should get up.’

No matter how much she was in pain, she couldn’t receive someone while lying on the floor.

‘Maybe Benjamin will knock before entering.’

Grace placed her hand on the floor and slowly, sluggishly lifted herself up. As she looked down at her palms, she felt a sense of discomfort. At that moment, she heard a knock on the door.

“May I come in?”

“Ah.”

Grace hurriedly lifted her head.

Benjamin asked if he could come in, she should let him in.

However, the problem was that Grace was not in any condition to be seen. She was drenched in sweat, lying under the covers, shivering with illness.

‘Oh no, this is bad.’

Even though she inwardly tried to tear Benjamin and herself apart, fundamentally she liked him.

Grace turned her head and looked at herself in the mirror.

Without even needing to see, she knew that the reflection in the mirror was truly a mess.

A while ago, she was buried in darkness, but now she was indoors. When he enters, the lights would be turned on, and the lights were brighter than the moonlight.

Grace murmured in confusion.

“What should I do?”

From beyond the door, Benjamin’s voice calling for Grace reached her ears.

The reflection of the ugly Grace in the mirror seemed to mock her.

‘Why am I wavering like this?’

I’m going to divorce Benjamin anyway. So why am I trying so hard to appear presentable to him?

Of course, there was no one who wanted to appear unattractive even if they didn’t like someone. There were countless reasons, but Grace was in a state of panic.

Knock. knock.

The knocking sound, which had been silent for a while, echoed once again.

Grace finally emerged from the swamp and took a breath as she looked at the door.

“My Lady, are you asleep? Hmm, if you’re asleep, you won’t be able to answer. Then, I’ll just go.”

“Oh, no!”

Grace hastily tried to hold onto Benjamin as he said he would leave.

“No, I’m not asleep…”

“….”

“I’m just realizing now that I’m in a mess…”

Grace felt embarrassed to say this to Benjamin. She felt like a stubborn child throwing a tantrum.

“Then, should I leave today?”

“No, no!”

Grace had to hold onto Benjamin.

Whispering voices, coming from nowhere, urged her to chase him away.

They told her to drive him out and never let him in again, to keep him away. They said he would inevitably love someone other than Grace, and that was natural.

Benjamin deceives Grace. This is an immutable truth. The voices whispered.

That’s why Grace had to hold onto Benjamin.