CH 18

Chapter 18: It’s easy if you approach

As soon as she opened her eyes, she knew that tears were streaming down her cheeks.

In the blurry world, she couldn’t tell who was being reflected, and stared rudely. Eventually, a large hand reached out hesitantly and wiped away the remaining tears on the edge of her eyes.

“Your Majesty…?”

In front of her clear vision was a handsome face that could only belong to Ivan. Ernesta was stunned and unable to understand the situation as she stared at him.

“You were having a nightmare. Are you okay?”

“Yes…I only had a bad dream for a little bit.”

As she said it out loud, she felt the realization that the terrifying future that shook her to the depths of her heart was just a dream. Ernesta took a deep breath and looked around at her surroundings.

It seemed to be the queen’s room. She was lying down on a bed that she had only used once before, and a refreshing summer sky could be seen through the window. Ivan seemed to be sitting on the chair next to her, but she didn’t have the slightest idea of how they ended up like this.

“”This is…why are you…”

She complained of a pain that felt like her throat was twitching, and her head felt like it was being constantly tightened. Her thought process was hazy, and she had difficulty breathing.

“You caught a cold. You had a high fever and collapsed yesterday.”

As soon as she was told, the situation at that time came back to her.

She remembered how she had acted like a big shot with Kautsky, and got him furious. Then, Ivan helped her and noticed her physical fatigue——but from then on, she couldn’t remember anything else.

“I’ll get the pharmacist. Just lie down there.”

“W-Wait a moment…!”

Ernesta realized how much trouble she had caused, and stopped the king who had turned his back on her.

She not only caused a commotion at the festival, but also collapsed.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know how to apologize enough.”

“Calm down and don’t move.”

However, the body that she had managed to wake up was once again put back to bed by Ivan.

“But…!”

“How high do you think your fever was? Just rest for now.”

Ernesta was taken aback by the words that seemed to be expressing genuine concern for her.

Come to think of it, why is the king personally attending to this kind of matter? Isn’t this usually the job of a lady-in-waiting or a maidservant?

As she pondered over this increasingly perplexing situation, she found herself locking eyes with Ivan, who was looking straight at her.

“You have done nothing wrong. Your sword dance and your conduct were both splendid. The one at fault is me. I apologize for my vassal’s insolence and for my previous behavior. I’m sorry.”

In a carefully chosen words, Ivan gave a sincere apology. Even though he still had his usual expressionless face, his demeanor was clearly serious, causing Ernesta to become even more confused.

“That’s not true! There’s nothing to apologize for, your Majesty. Because I…”

——Because I’ve been lying to you all along.

Ernesta wasn’t the kind of person who can get everyone to be nice to her. She was a lump of greed who had decided to keep lying for the sake of her selfish wishes.

Receiving friendship, love, and kindness should be for Ermengard herself. Ernesta will eventually disappear from here. She is a person who will irresponsibly disappear and hand over everything to her still unseen sister.

“…I don’t think you have done anything bad to me at all.”

The absolute wedge of lying tightens Ernesta’s chest as if it were just now.

How presumptuous. She has no right to give someone forgiveness.

Still, she wanted what she said to be truthful. For some reason, she didn’t want to interact with this person with a sad look in her eyes while remaining fake.

“Even if your Majesty thinks so, I don’t. So…there’s no need to apologize.”

“You’re…”

Ivan’s pupil, like the night sky, opened wide and then quickly narrowed. His gaze seemed to contain self-mockery.

“You are too generous.”

“Do you think so? I also have things that anger me.”

“Oh. Then I better be careful not to make you angry.”

As Ivan shrugged his shoulders, Ernesta couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

She didn’t realize that simply having a normal conversation with him would make her so happy. While feeling overwhelmed by her sudden excitement, Ernesta looked into his eyes that sparkled in the distant night sky.

Looking at him like this, she had a feeling of familiarity. However, she couldn’t recall when or where she had met him before, or even if he was really Ivan. In the end, her thoughts were interrupted without any further progress.

“Actually, I have a request.”

“What is it?”

Without realizing it, their eyes had met, and Ernesta quickly averted her gaze. However, Ivan’s gaze didn’t falter and continued to focus directly on her.

“When you were having a nightmare earlier, I wasn’t sure what to call you. Would you mind if I call you by your name from now on?”

“Huh?”

Her unexpected response was quite impolite for someone speaking to the king.

As the highest authority figure in this country, shouldn’t he be able to call whatever he likes without having to confirm it every time?

Ernesta wondered about this and forgot her previous shyness as she looked back at Ivan. His direct gaze showed no signs of joking.

Could it be that he’s a serious, diligent, and incredibly sense of duty?

She didn’t know why he had been avoiding her before, but at least now he’s willing to face her. But is it really okay for her to think that?

“Ellie. Please call me that. That’s what close people call me.”

At that moment, she revealed her nickname, solely because she was feverish. Ernesta would later dwell on her guilt towards Ermengard, but that’s a story for another time.

Because the next suggestion was even more surprising.

“Then would you call me Ivan by name as well?”

Ernesta froze this time.

Call this magnificent king by his first name? That’s far too wasteful.

In addition, Ernesta felt strangely embarrassed. Her cheeks reddened, but Ivan didn’t seem to mind and continued to stare at her.

Ernesta decided to hypnotize herself. She was here as a substitute for Ermengard, so she shouldn’t be calling this beautiful king by his name. Absolutely not.

“Then… Ivan-sama, is it alright?”

“Sama is not necessary. Honorifics are not needed.”

“Eh! But, that’s too——!”

Ernesta raised her voice in response.

That offer was too high of a hurdle, even for her. One must not underestimate a maiden with no immunity to men.

However, as she locked eyes with Ivan’s sincere gaze, all of her objections vanished into thin air. She couldn’t tell if it was due to his demeanor or if it was due to the heat in the air. Ernesta was no longer able to judge.

“‘Shenka’ is a place where, even among nobles, honorifics are not used among families. I hope you can take that into consideration as it makes me uneasy.”

“Uh…! Yes, I understand. So…I-Ivan, is this okay…?”

Her cheeks were heated, and anyone could tell she was blushing. Ernesta pulled the blanket up to her mouth, trying to at least not be scolded for anything.

At that moment, Ivan’s handsome face formed a quiet smile.

“Yeah, that’s fine, Ellie.”

His narrow eyes held gentleness, and his lips curved calmly. His expression was as faint and peaceful as the moon peeking through the clouds.

The smile of the king, who was rumored to be cold-hearted, seemed to have an unimaginable destructive power. Ernesta was so worried that her eyes might pop out.

Ivan seemed to have thought that the queen, who was unable to return any words, was just feeling unwell.

“Well, that was a long conversation. I’ll go inform Rougena and the others that you woke up.”

As soon as Ivan left the room, Ernesta let out a big sigh and collapsed facedown. Even though she knew no one was there to scold her, she still wanted to hide her blushing face.

——It’s not fair that you suddenly smile when you’ve been expressionless all this time.

The reason why her heart was pounding so much was because he was handsome. The strange feeling of warmth she felt was the same as when the dog next door let her pet him for the first time.

That’s all there should be. After all, Ernesta was just a substitute queen.