Book 9: Chapter 43: L

Book 9: Chapter 43: L

(I am releasing a chapter a day rather than one every 3-4 days. Make sure youre on the right one and you havent missed one! pirateaba)

That beach. That damn beach.

What kind of an [Innkeeper] has a beach in their inn? What is a beach? Damn her!

The Wandering Inn ate business like an Eater Goat on a rampage. Ulia Ovena, the owner of Celums Blazehound, actually pounded the counter of her fancy establishment.

Erin was also making enemies of Adalton Serristail of The Nobles Fancy in Pallass, but he was able to keep most of his Drake patrons because they were too good for a Human establishment in Liscor.

He just wished theyd stop asking him to pull a beachfront from under his tail. The worst part?

The beach stuck around. Erin Solstice was very open about the fact that she could have it essentially forever.

Maybe Ill turn it into a winter resort in the summer, yknow? Keep things nice and cool in there. Although, I have the Snow Golem area. Anyways, who wants a pia colada? Kevin, do we need this in the world?

Yes. Give.

You could either curse her name, like Ulia and Agnes were doingor adapt. Improvise.

Timbor Parithad had lost business to Erin. In fact, hed lost Imani and Palt, who were not only selling in Erins inn but on holiday.

A huge blow, even if they were teaching his own [Cooks] how to advance their cooking. But Timbor, owner of The Drunken Gnoll, had learned a few tricks.

Commiseration Hour! Anyone who didnt get in The Wandering Inndrinks are half off!

Hed put a huge sign up as well: Beachfront Tips! Come exchange your knowledge here!

So his inn was full of people scheming on how to get in or badgering people for tales of what was in there, and a lot of patrons had come by to brag and drop anecdotesand sandall over the place.

Timbor was proud of it. He might be one of those lampreys that clung to a whale, but it put gold in his pocket. Besides, hed be called a hanger-on by Peslas if the Drake wanted. The best [Innkeeper] in Liscor was what, Level 34?

Timbor was Level 24 before he came to Liscor. By the time hed survived the raiders, war, and rebuilt his inn?

Peslas was sweating because Timbor was closing on him like a shark in the waters. One more leveland Timbor had a good feeling about tonight. He smirked as he swept some sand out the front door and into the snow.

His inn just lacked Peslas wealth and staffing, and that wasnt too hard to equalize since Timbor would hire Gnolls and Humans and Drakes, and he was considering Silverans Cleaners too.

Yes, The Wandering Inn was having a good time. Why, even Yelroan was busy blinding half the people around him with his sunglasses on the beach. Saliss had a copy, and he was walking around with them shining. The Gnoll was working on a breakdown of Erins guests.

That was what he did for fun in between reading Lakens [Engineers] math on their trebuchets. Yelroan was also very, very interested in the stress-tests of Pallass Engineering Guild on the durability of their steel. That was confidential information, but he had long ears.

There was actually only one person who didnt seem to be having the greatest time ever. Strangely, it was Lyonette du Marquin.

It was hard for Erin to fathom why it was a problem. But Lyonette happily explained.

Erin. Is this really what people wear on beaches?

She looked scandalized as Erin turned. The [Innkeeper] had realized there werent as many good options for beach-people, and where Kevin was only too happy to just change into some shorts and charge forth, she had quickly drawn up a guide.

The issue was waterproof fabric, but you could adapt even a dress into something beach-friendly. Spats were not a concept that this world had in store, but the irony was that someone had already opened the door for beach-type clothing.

Worldview Fashion, the Earth-forward store that had catered to Magnolia Reinhart, Lady Pryde Ulta, and Wuvren Sitil, had a version of tracksuits and the lead [Designer] herself had already come over, happy to offer their designsfor a free pass to the beach.

However, Lyonette objected. Not to the bikini or two-piece swimsuits. She hadnt gotten past the short leggings on the dress-type swimsuit, which was really just a shoulder-hanging ensemble with [Waterproof Fabric].

Erin, its inches above my knees!

Yup. Sure is.

Erin had on shorts and a t-shirt. She gestured at her clothing.

This is also good. You could go swimming in that.

Hurgkh. I meanits a lovely outfit, Erin. I could see myself wearing it if I were shoveling snow outside. But if you get wet, someone might see your undergarments!

Lyonette, its a beach. Everyones in their undergarments. You dont wear underwear in the water, just shorts.

The [Princess] appalled look grew into true horror. Relc, whod been stomping around in the water, playing monster for the children laughing, stopped pulling at his pants.

You dont? Great! Give me one second

He raced off, and Lyonette turned her look of scandal onto Erin once more. The [Innkeeper] folded her arms.

This time you cant say its because Im weird. Where Im from, everyone wears beach clothes like this, Lyonette. Even the older folk. Even royalty and rich people. Right, Kevin?

The Earther charged past Erin with a soccer ball they were using as a volleyball.

Right! In fact, the old people will let it all hang free! Nude beaches. Lets not do that.

Excuse me, what?

Saliss grew insanely interested, but Erin and Lyonette shooed him off. Lyonette, still covering her legs, hissed at Erin.

This isnt normal to me! Mrshas gone bare again!

Yeahshes got fur.

She was picking up swimming very quickly. But Lyonette was having trouble. The thing was

She could swim* and had gone paddling around in the shallows with the kids, but she didnt care for the swimsuits, even when she was given the most conservative one, and she didnt know how to beach properly.

*She could not swim.

It was a mystery to Erin, because she had been told by Lyonette herself that Calanfer had a beach.

You said you visited the coast a lot!

Yes, I did! And I quite liked the beach!

What did you do?

Well, we walked down it and collected seashells and

You didnt swim?

Us? Royalty? With monsters in the water and all kinds ofpeople watching us? Erin, please.

Lyonette had learned to swim as a matter of self-preservation, but she swam like a sinking sponge. And unlike her daughter, she didnt learn fast enough.

Erin was trying to be nice, but she had to keep approving would-be guests, and this felt like a Lyonette issue.

Lyon, you can sunbathe

With my legs exposed? Ill ruin my skin!

Sunbathing. Another non-Calanferian thing apparently. Erin tried again.

Why dont you have fun in a circle with the Antinium or something?

I dont have anyone to go with.

Lyonette was downcast. Someone stopped as they trudged by with a huge piece of roast corn on a stick.

What a shame. I dont know how that happened.

Yellow Splatters walked on by as Lyonette bit her lip and turned red. Erin gave Lyonette a long look and raised hands.

Why dont you go play with Mrsha? You keep saying you miss your mother-daughter time.es it felt like the world conspired against Lyonette du Marquin. Or perhaps it was the role she occupied.

She often enabled and helped create Erins mad moments, but in this case, Erin had been annoyingly self-sufficient. Erin probably didnt mean to leave Lyonette out, but a confluence of factors messed with Lyonette.

For oneher daughter splashed water at her. Visma interpreted her sign-language and then shouted as she waved a fist.

Shoo! This is for us only! Kids only! Get lost, loser! Thats what she said, Miss Lyonette, not me.

Miss Mrsha! The shame of it!

Ser Sest was woebegone as the kids played sharks and fishies in the water. But they didnt want an adult Crelering up the situation, and after they let her join in one session, Lyonette ended up failing to catch even one kid after six minutes. They were fast as could be! And she ended up exhausted, routed, and falling back.

The worst part to Lyonette, sulking in the shade of a spell which looked like a shadowy dome of gloom, was that her damn Thronebearers did so well.

Ser Lormel was still laid up, but he was actually happy not to go to the beach. He was currently writing notes back to the countless [Knights] whod sent him missives, and Lyonette had even bought him a speaking stone so he could talk to people.

Ser Sest on the other hand? He had actually been allowed to continue playing with the kids, and he leapt around in the water.

Where are you? I, Ser Sest, the beast of the ocean, have come to devour you! The Kraken strikes! Aha!

He dove in an exaggerated way, and Visma, shrieking with laughter, leapt away.

Curse you, Sest.

Her other Thronebearers were just as bad. Ser Dalimont, also nominally on Princess-duty, was chatting with Ama to the left.

I just received word that the Thronebearers of Calanfer have formally approved my alliance with the Order of Solstice. Which is a relief.

Oh. Does that mean youre not in trouble?

Better. They would like me to continue working with you all officially. And when my [Princess] arrives

He had a drink in hand, and both he and Sest had taken off their armor and looked annoyingly fit. In fact, the Wishdrinks hosts had come by to ask the Thronebearers for tips. Especially Sest, who had what even Kevin and Joseph had done a double-take on and called a six-pack.

Six of what? Lyonette hadnt stared too long at any exposed skin, though she now recalled Sest was a popular figure back home.

Dame Ushar had no such problems. The Thronebearers liked to rotate, two on, two off, if there wasnt a crisis that warranted more. Even with Ser Lormel gone, Dame Ushar had parked herself in a beach chair and was sipping from a drink and enjoying the scenery. She was not the only one.

Lyonette was worried someone was going to approach her and invite her to join the volleyball, or sit around the fire, or even make a sandcastle. She worried about it for fourteen minutes as she sat in the [Shade] spellthen got mad no one was approaching her.

What are you supposed to do here, exactly?

Enjoy oneself. Which must be difficult for you. I dont particularly care what anyone else says, so this has been exceedingly pleasant for meand I think Ill spend all week here.

A dry voice to her left made Lyonette look over. And there was Chaldion, up to his knees in hot sand, drinking more ice and rum while reading a book.

Princess Marquin.

Strategist. Thats Miss Marquin to you.

He rolled his eyes.

Oh, of course. Enjoying the shade? I didnt set up the spell. Oddly, some Goblin had the ability.

He eyed Gothica, who was sitting with her parasol in the spell to the right. Chaldions lips quirked.

I can work and observe as well as play. But Im happy to sit and relax. Youre the self-conscious one.

Lyonette realized she was probably the only one here experiencing anxiety. Even normally skittish people were letting their hair down. Tesy was here, even if he was painting while trying to keep out of view with a Skill!

Ive got the ball! Ive got

Someone sprayed sand and charged past them and nearly hit both sitting Drake and Human. Lehra kicked the ball back, then turned.

Sorryoh, Grand Strategist and, uh, Lyonette. Were just playing

Pay no mind. Friendly fire seems inevitable. But you can make it up to me by securing me that new pudding.

Chaldion wiped sand from his bare chest. Lehra instantly agreed, then her ears perked up.

Pudding?

Imani was pushing a cart of colorful pudding with sand on top, even tiny umbrellas. It was probably bread crumbs, but the sweet treat had a line already.

Ill get you some, Grand Strategist!

And off Lehra charged, making it to the front of the line by sheer enthusiasm. Even Lyonette had to admire Chaldion spotting the pudding and securing it by using Lehra as a gofer.

What a scheming bastard. He gave her a smug look as his bodyguards sweatily surveyed the garden for threats. Chaldion probably hadnt even told them that it was unlikely you could bring much harm into the Gardens of Sanctuary, even if this wasnt the main one.

Lyonette tried to stay on the beach and have fun, but she gloomed herself out. She was about to go and greet Laken, who was grumpily inspecting the garden by hand as Durene beamed about, when a beach volleyball hit her in the head.

A gloomy Ser Sest swept up part of the common room as Lyonette, back in winter clothes, strode about the place where she felt she could do some good. But annoyingly

Calescent! Do you need help in the kitchen? Me and Sest can

The Hobgoblin looked up as Pebblesnatch, Silvermop, and two other helpers all paused in making more fruit-based dishes. Pebblesnatch beamed, and Calescent waved a hand.

No, thank you, Lyonette. Cute Goblin [Cook] is helping. Then we all get a break. With special spicy steak.

He pulled out a dish hed been saving for himself, marinating, and all the cooking staff licked their lips. Lyonette gave him a wan smile.

Oh, excellent. Maybe Liska needs help?

The [Doorgnoll] had her feet up as she ate a pudding and flicked her paw.

Door open to Liscor. Whos coming through? No access to the beach unless youre on the list! Alright, step inside, wait a seconddoor open to Invrisildont go through! Wait for them to come through. Who needs travel? No access to the beach!

She wasnt even touching the damn door. Lyonette stared at Liska as the smug Gnoll controlled the door with her paw. The dial clicked around, and Liska only looked up and nearly fell out of her seat when Lyonette cleared her throat.

Miss Lyonette! I was, uh

You seem to have everything under control. Proceed.

Lyonette was too sweet, but she stomped off without further comment. Even Ishkr seemed happy as a clam.

Ishkr! How are the drinks going? Are you swamped? You need help with Erins insane new Solstice event, right? What can I do?

The [Head Server] turned, hugely bemused, from behind the bar where he had appeared. He hefted something in his paws.

Im fine, Miss Lyonette. I just went to get some rum for Chaldion. Rufelt and Lasica are here, and hes serving drinksshes mostly relaxing. Everything is fine. I was going to go down to Liscor.

For ingredients?

No. Selys told me to give this to Watch Captain Zevara with a coupon for access and a free swimsuit from Worldview Fashion.

Ishkr had one of the puddings, and Lyonettes face fell.

You seem organized.

Erin told me what she was doing in advance. We have it all under control, Lyonette.

Damn her.

Gloom and doom. Ishkr gave Lyonette the most understanding look so far.

Ifyoud like to take anything over, you can certainly help out, Miss Lyonette.

No. I think Ill go for a walk.

Ishkr nodded reasonably, then hesitated as Ser Sest stared out a window.

Wait, in the snow?

Lyonette made it about ten minutes outdoors before she realized that the knee-deep snow was hellishly cold and remembered why everyone wanted to be indoors.

Sest! Why didnt you stop me?

A [Knight] is always here to enable his mistress bad choices, Your Highness! Were trained not to say no when youll just ignore us!

The golden [Knight] seemed to know Lyonette too well. She sighed, but getting into the snow did remind her that the beach was a welcome reprieve.

It was justif Lyonette stopped shivering and had insight for one moment, she wasnt mad Erin had kept this from her.

Erin had wanted to surprise everyone, so aside from critical staff, she had prepared a warm surprise for the dead of winter. It was justLyonette wasnt enjoying it because Lyonette was in an odd place.

Erin no longer needed as much help. Oh, someone had to manage the inn, but between Ishkr, Yelroan, Peggy, Rosencrantz, and more, Lyonette was no longer the one heroine keeping it all from falling apart.

Mrsha was no longer the exact same girl she used to be. Taking in poor Nanette, ironically, had helped both girls find a friend, and so they were more self-sufficient.

Which left Lyonette in the place of having time for herself at last. Only, shed broken up with Pawn and now

What did she do for fun, again? Have tea with Witch Eloise, shop for clothes with Nanettethe most stereotypical of things.

Maybe I should practice sword swings.

Lyonette had been practicing as much as she could, if not to the level of any [Warrior]. But was that her?

[Worldly Princess]. Lyonette had shot up to Level 28 in record time, consolidated her classand then stopped levelling at some point. Her friends had passed her. She realized, perhaps, that she had ceased doing things for her and had focused more on Mrsha, which was all right and proper.

But now that she had time? She had forgotten how it was done.

Such was the melancholy of Lyonette du Marquin. She stood in the same wretched snow that Erin had once rescued her from, and she didnt want to go home. This was a better home, but she needed something to occupy her. Beach or otherwiseLyonette closed her eyes as she tried to look around for the inn.

It was moderately dangerous out here, mostly from frostbite or a rogue Snow Golem. Shield Spiders were deep in their nests, and Rock Crabs were hibernating too. No one would be out here with the stupid Winter Sprites storms. Youd have to be cr

Achoo!

Lyonette was walking near the stream that Erin had used to use for water. It was, amazingly, still flowing, owing to the swift waters. And a snowdrift next to the stream, holding a fishing pole, sneezed as Lyonette passed by.

The [Princess] screamed. She drew her sword, or tried to, and the snowdrift jumped.

Aah! I fell asleep! Dead gods, its cold even with the Ring of Frost Resistance!

The Snow Golem jumped upand Lyonette gobbled as snow fell away and revealed

Lady Walchas?

Bethal Walchas emerged, holding a fishing pole and shivering. She had on a fur hood, pale grey and puffy. Clearly enchanted, as were her leggings, and she had apparently been sitting there long enough for the snow to cover her!

Well, given how fast it was coming down, that wasnt hard. But she swore as she threw her fishing pole down.

Damn you, fish! Oh, its you. The [Princess] of Calanfer.

She did a double-take as Lyonette stared. And two more snowdrifts moved.

Lady Walchas, perhaps its time to call it in?

Ser Sest had noticed the two Rose Knights, but they glumly emerged from the snow and made Lyonette nearly scream again. They were both shivering, and Dame Welca and Ser Kerrig looked miserable, despite their magical armor. Bethal rounded on them as she eyed Lyonette and Sest.

Shush! Go away! This is a wilderness survival. You two arent taking part. Ill have this fish in the hour. I told Thomast I could do it. Once he scavenges some rootthingswell make it through the night.

Her stomach growled loudly as she spoke, and Ser Kerrig wiped snow from his visor as he flipped it up.

You said that yesterday, Lady Walchas.

She turned red, and Lyonette noticed that Bethal was rather pale. It wasnt from the weather; she had multiple cold-resistance enchantments on. She deliberately stabbed a finger into her palm.

We did not fight off a Rock Crab and sit in this miserable weather to be second place, Kerrig. The first place is a week in this damn, Five Families-cursed hellhole of cold. And if I needs must starve the last day out, I will!

Lyonette vaguely remembered Bethal being excited to take part in Liscor Hunted. But it seemed her good mood had turned to annoyance.

Um. Excuse me.

Oh. Hello.

Bethal swung around as if shed completely forgotten Lyonette. The Rose Knights bowed.

Your Highness du Marquin.

No, its just LyonetteIm just a [Barmaid] at The Wandering Inn.

Bethal eyed Lyonette. The old lie that no one had really bought from the start felt completely inane coming out of her mouth.

Yes, and Im a Marquis of Avel. Well, everyone has their hobbies. Good day to you. Are you out for a walk in thisdelightful weather?

The blizzard howled around them as the wind picked up, and Lyonette shivered. Bethal scowled around and shaded her eyes.

I think we have a tentover there. Thomast and I are competing for the longest stay in Liscor Hunted, you see. Theres a prize and entry in their hall of fame if we last a week. Which we will accomplishand I was just fishing. For these damn fish!

She screamed at the river. Lyonette winced. Did Bethal mean the Flatfish?

Theyre quite toothy, Lady Walchas. And parts are inedible. Even poisonous, I think.

Bethals face fell when she heard that.

It was the only food source I could find. Youre allowed to hunt, but not bring anything else or buy anything, obviously. Even if

She turned and stared longingly at The Wandering Inn in the distance, then at Liscor. Bethals stomach rumbled louder, and Lyonette felt vaguely bad for her.

Only vaguely, because this was clearly a self-inflicted bit of nonsense.

Where is your husband, Lady Walchas?

Oh, looking for forage. Hes got more energy, so he said hed find blue fruits and onions. Ido you know how to attract these damn fish? I baited the hook with some rabbit meat, but I swear, Ive been here an hour and not a bite.

Lyonette had no idea how to fish, but the look of desperation in Bethals eyes made her, shivering, stomp over to the river.

I could take a look at your line. We set up Acid Fly traps in the spring, and Ive seen the fish a lot.

Oh. W-were those the jars? We used them to boil water. I shall return them, but we are allowed to forage for things.

Bethal shivered as she rubbed her gloved hands together. Lyonette assured her it was fine. Actually, she was getting more impressed by the moment.

This weather is freezing. Even if you have cold-resistance gearhow much food did you bring?

Us? A days worth. Its been seven days, and I admit, its been fairly dire, but we found some poor, delicious rabbits, and if wed bagged that Corusdeer, wed be eating fine.

Seven days? And they hadnt had any food?

What about gear?

A tent with holes in it. A single frying panno wood. I think they deliberately give us used gear to make the entire experience damn authentic. It wasnt even warm enough for us to shiver together and warm up naked. We just shivered. That damn Drake called it the Erin difficulty start.

Bethal wasnt the biggest fan of Menolit right now. In fact, she seemed like she was willing to bend the rules about no help if it meant a meal tonight.

I m-must admit, Ill go to Menolit and say we lasted only seven days. Our Skills and artifacts are an edge, so Ill happily accept a bit of help catching a fish from a local expert, Miss Lyonette. Im only out here because the only other competitor refuses to give in. And shes made it personal.

Other competitor? Lyonette had a faint suspicion, but she agreed to help Bethal as best she could.

I could bring you a dish

No, no! Just help me catch a fish. Mayhap they dont like rabbit? Lets see the linhuh.

Bethal pulled up the improvised fishing rod, a stick with string on it, and both she and Lyonette stared at her hook and bait.

Or rather, the piece of string where it used to be. Something had bit the entire hook off. Bethal had been sitting here with a string in the water this entire time.

The [Lady] stared at her linethen lost her temper. Her face went slack, then her cheeks puffed upthen she began screaming.

You Reinhart-scheming fish! You worthless piece of Wellfar sea-crap! Get out of that damn river so I can eat you! Ill reroute this entire river! Ill dam the entire river and let you all die! A Walchas grudge on it!

She went stomping up and down the bank, screaming at the water, and Lyonette felt Bethals aura materialize.

It felt like thorns. Lyonette had not known Bethal as well as some in The Wandering Inn, but even she knew of House Walchas.

Bethal, the last of her line, married to Chevalier Thomast, an insanely skilled [Duelist]. Bethal was an unpredictable woman whod made a fortune investing in horsefleshand her Rose Knights were peacekeepers in a wide area.

She was respected and also held at a remove by many who feared her amazing temper and aura. Lyonette had heard that it was a thing to be respected, and she saw it in action.

Dead gods, she thought she could see enraged, twining thorns and vines around Bethal! It was the most impressive manifestation besides a Knight of Seasons shed seen. Sest was no less impressed.

Princess Marquin, the [Ladies] of Izril seem to be aura-masters by and large.

Bethal felt like a high-level [Lady] to Lyonette; she would have stood at the head of Calanfers aristocracy for sheer levels.

However, the [Lady] was throwing a tantrum like Sammial, and the similarities were even down to her kicking snow into the stream as she cursed the fish out. Lyonette was watching Bethal, but she and the three [Knights] noticed the dark shape in the frigid waters at the same time.

Watch out!

Lady Walchas!

Both Knights of the Petal leapt forwards as Lyonette screamed. Bethal turnedand a Flatfish, all teeth, launched itself out of the water at her face.

Oh

Ser Kerrig was fast. He had his battleaxe out and tried to block the fish. Lyonette tackled Bethal, and the two nearly went into the water, but it was Ser Sest who moved fastest.

[Bodyguards Shield]!

He appeared in front of Bethal, and the fish slammed into him. Sest nearly fell over as Kerrig halted his swing before he could hit the Thronebearer. The fish landed in the water with a huge splash, and Lyonette scrambled up.

Bethal was wide-eyed, but she got up fast and retreated. Then she felt at herself, realized she was safe, and spoke.

Well, there goes my record attempt. Thank you, Princess Marquin. And to your [Knight]! I had no idea that damn fish was sotoothy!

Shamefaced, Welca and Kerrig bowed to Sest, who winced as he rotated his shield-arm.

It must have been forty pounds! What a beast! Are you alright, Princess? We should have called for backup. Though I thought

He looked around with a huge frown, and a figure appeared in the snow. Tessa, Shriekblade, made Welca whirl with an oath, but Tessa was just sharpening a dagger. She lookedbad-tempered, and she muttered.

It wasnt a threat. Im watching. Whatever. Everything sucks.

She vanished again. Sest gave Lyonette a concerned look, and Bethal raised her brows.

Is that the Named-rank Adventurer who stays at the inn?

One of them. I havent seen her in days. Even Erin cant get her toare you alright? Again, I think the Floodplains are too dangerous, Lady Walchas. With respect, its a miserable place to try to survive in without help. Even Erin herself nearly died thanks to those fishes.

I suppose youre right. But what a shame! First it takes my bait. Then? Nearly my life! I feel like I should catch one, if only to last another day for prides sake. Otherwise I shant hear the end of it from her.

Bethal sighed, and Lyonette daringly strode close to the river. She saw at least one shape and stepped back from the bank.

Perhaps you could hunt the fish with a net. Erin used to say shed bait them out onto the grass where theyre not dangerous. If you wanted to at least prove you can catch one

Bait it? With what, our naked, succulent bodies?

Bethal stomped over, and Lyonette almost laughed. Was she always like that? She shrugged.

Maybe an aura-decoy. If anyone could make one. Im just a novice, but I heard animals fall for it.

It slipped out absently. Perhaps because Bethal was here. Lyonette had taught Erin how to use her aura, but Maviola El had been the better teacher.

She was dead. But Bethal snapped her fingers and sneezed again.

Oh, I should have done that from the start! I just didnt know animals fell for it. What, you mean like this? Hmmhow do you do it again? Buck bwauwkcluck?

She held out her hands. Then she began making sounds like a chicken. Lyonette was beginning to suspect Bethal was all crazyuntil she stared at something in Bethals hands.

It wasnt real, or even close to a chicken in appearance. But it felt like one. Something fluttered in Bethals hands, and Lyonette could imagine a feather-white chicken with a huge comb of red fluttering its wings and clucking in Bethals hands.

Lyonette stared as Bethal projected her aura, faking the feel of a chicken.

You can do aura-decoys? But even the Knights of Seasons dont usually know that.

Pshaw, [Knights]. Im a [Lady]. If Magnolia can slap a volley of arrows out of the sky, I can do this. Y-you must really be used to Terandria, where only monarchy and [Knights] even practice. Funny. I forgot you were a [Princess]. How did you even come to that inn with that delightful [I-Innkeeper]?

Bethal was chattering with cold and probably hunger. She was probably also delirious if she hadnt eaten in a day. But Lyonette was oddly engaged.

Oh, wellI ran away from home.

She was shy about saying that, but Bethal probably knew. Yet the [Lady] burst into a huge grin when she heard it.

Absolutely, LadyI mean, MissColfa. And may I say youre quite generous?

You may, with my gratitude for ze kind words.

Colfa looked even more self-important and smug as Bethal chimed in.

Oh yes, its a wonderfully kind thing to help Pryde cook.

I should do it myself. At least part of it. Is itcooked?

Colfa handed Pryde some tongs and ran commentary on how to get a good sear going, maybe even score the meat. But she looked disapproving about Pryde insisting she wanted to go back to camp.

Its no fit weather for mere mortals, Lady Pryde. The chill is deathly. And if you will take some of my advice, at least garnish this. Fish, without even salt, is tasteless.

At this, the [Lady] did give an arch smile.

I do have that. [Produce of the Land]!

She raised her handand huge, fat, slightly pink crystals of salt fell into her palm. Pryde showed it to Bethal and Lyonette, who oohed. Even Colfa looked faintly astonished. Bethal confided in the two.

Salt is one of Ultas big exports. All Id get is a horse.

Yes. And if I toss in

Be generous. Lets see how it tastes.

One chunk of smoking Flatfish was liberally salted with the pink Ulta salt and transferred to a plate as the [Knights] looked up. All four women gathered around, and Lyonette bet that Colfa was as hungry as she was. Bethal looked ravenous, and Pryde cut it up into four pieces, and everyone got a fork.

This is a group effort. Ill take the rest to the Sinew Magus after cooking it up. I suppose we were matched at seven days after all, Bethal. You always were too tough for your own good. Starving a day?

Oh, please, Pryde. You won this one fair and square. But I hope the Sinew Magus appreciates this hard work!

Colfa didnt really know Grimalkin, but she offered them a crimson smile; her lips were the only colorful thing about her.

I am delighted to make your acquaintances, ladies, [Princess]. Even into my humble abode.

Oh, Miss Colfa, you are too kind! Why, we would be lost without you and hacking up that wretched fish in the snow. I offer you The Wandering Inns own humble hospitalityyour family is endlessly generous!

Lyonette tried to flatter her, and the woman turned faintly red with pleasure. Then everyone took a big bite of the Flatfish and chewed thoughtfully.

Ser Sest watched Lyonette chew on the hot piece of fish. Then chewand chewand glance at Bethal, who was eying Colfa and Pryde. Pryde swallowed first, and Colfa coughed as she got her bite down.

Silence for a bit. Everyone stared at the rest of the fish on the cutting board.

When Ser Kerrig finally found the [Chevalier], Thomast, the man was not alone. A [Knight of the Petal] was standing guard, but he was hardly needed for Bethals husband.

Thomast was fairly mobile even in the snow, and so was the huge Drake, whose arms were folded as the two stared at the grove of trees.

Tall and thin with long, super-sturdy limbs. This was the blue fruit orchard, natural trees so tough they could endure Liscors flooding each year without being uprooted.

Both stared at the trees solemnly. They stared at the bare branches, and at last, one spoke.

It occurred to me halfway here that it was winter. But I wasnt sure about the germination of some fruits, so I thought it was worth a look. How have you been scavenging, Ser Thomast?

I havethree onions I found. I think Ive been looting someones fields.

Hm.

Grimalkin of Pallass was a bit awkward, but he had noticed Thomast and Bethal, and Lady Pryde Ulta seemed to know them. He coughed into one fist.

I understand were in a competition to see who can outlast the other. Tell meif I may be direct, what is the reason you and your wife wished to take on Liscor Hunted? Prestige?

Thomast shrugged as he felt at his frozen mustache.

I think Bethal fancied it would lead to intimate moments. And yes, the prestige of it. And you?

Grimalkin shivered in the cold. Despite his musclesit was cold, wet, and he hadnt eaten much of anything for a while. Hed found edible roots and been reminded that edible was a broad term.

Iwished to understand the nutritional challenges of a gathering society or one facing the prospect of acquiring food in a winter situation. How to adjust a diet for this kind of cold and challenge. To my surprise, Lady Pryde Ulta offered to join me. I think she was worried our partnership might fall apart, but she has not complained long.

I see.

Thomast half-glanced at Grimalkin. The two men stood there in the snow, staring at the empty blue fruit trees. After a while, someones stomach rumbled, and the others joined it.

Your wife seems to have a grudge against Lady Pryde.

Friendly rivalry. They care for each other, but then one gets on the others nerves.

Grimalkin grunted.

Understandable.

More silence. They looked around at the snowbound landscape, and at length, Grimalkin muttered.

If I remove the no magic conditions I imposed, I could detect a Corusdeer Herd if one was around. Failing that, rabbits. Hardly nutritious.

Running down a Corusdeer isnt that difficult. Carrying one back and skinning it in this cold?

Both men considered doing that. At lengthThomast turned to Grimalkin.

Sinew Magus. Is that how I should address you?

Magus or simply Grimalkin will do.

Thank you. Magusare you enjoying this?

Grimalkin shivered.

No. Not at all. Are you and your lady wife?

She would rather die than lose to Pryde. Beyond that? I think we would have left days ago if not for the competition.

I as well.

Both turned to stare back the way theyd come and imagined another night of this. It was to boths intense relief that the waving, pink [Knight] caught them.

Sirs! Your wife

Is Bethal alright?

Thomast strode over to Ser Kerrig. The [Knight] was cold, having run all over the Floodplains, and he nodded.

Yes! In fact, sir, she wishes to tell you that she and Lady Prydeand a Miss Lyonetteare awaiting you at The Wandering Inn. There is apparently a beach they intend to visit.

Grimalkin and Thomast stood there in the snow and looked at each other. Then Grimalkin exhaled, and Thomast smiled.

Excellent. Take us to the inn, then, Ser Kerrig.

The remaining Petal Knight almost wept himself, and everyone turned as Kerrig pointed.

Absolutely, Ser Thomast! Its just

His pointing finger wavered left, then right, and then he realized they were at the bottom of one of the valleys. Kerrig turned around and realizedthe snow and hills and valleys meant everything was obscured after a thousand paces.

They had no idea where the heck they were. Grimalkin muttered as Thomast sighed.

I could jump up and cast [Seeker Flares]. Or a long-range [Detect Life] spell

The mountains are there. If we triangulate and assume that were at one end of the valley, we can get to the middle and work our way around

Thomast was eying the High Passes for reference.

Four miserable men in the snow, two wearing bright pink armor, one the hugest Drake ever seen, the last a Silver-bell duelist.

The Vampire named Himilt, leaning on a walking stick, couldnt wait to tell his wife about who the onion-thieves turned out to be. But he did clear his throat loudly.

Excuse me.

All of them jumped, especially Thomast and Grimalkin, who stared at him with actual shock because they hadnt noticed his approach. Himilt pointed a gloved hand the way hed come.

Are you looking for the city or the inn? Its that way.

Thomast and Grimalkin chatted with the friendly [Farmer] who had found them. Himilt was reserved, but Thomast apologized profusely for the onion-theft, and Grimalkin owned that he, too, had found the onions in the snow.

It was a late harvest. I am just surprised anyone would try to campin tents. Bamer found them on a walk, and you must have left. Weve been searching for a goat and people dying in the cold this last day.

I apologize, sir. It was irresponsible of us to worry the locals. I will bring it up with Menolitand apologize to all parties, including your wife and Lady Pryde. This was not a pleasant experience, or even a very formative one. I fear Ive offended her.

Grimalkin exhaled, considering the mood of his most charitable donor and ally, unlikely as she was, in the north.

I am sure shell forgive you.

Perhaps. Shes far more charitable than the rumors of her indicated. Which is another failing of mine to give any credence to mere gossip. Shes been a guest of mine for two weeks, and I just worry that Ive been a poor host.

Thomast raised his brows, and Himilt turned his head as they bushwhacked through the snow back to the inn. The [Chevalier] considered his words, then went for it, like a daring sword piercing through snow.

I personally know Lady Pryde. I think its been at least a decade since she and I first met. She bestows her affections on few people, but she was taken with your ideas, Magus. She mentioned you to us when you first published your essays on the body.

Really? Thats flattering. She was one of the few people who engaged with my ideas at all before their widespread success.

Grimalkin smiled, actually touched. Thomast nodded a few times. He waited a second.

How is your relationship with Pryde, if I may ask?

Very respectful. Though again, I fear Im being a poor host. I should justabandon my work to give her the full Pallassian experience. She hasnt said when shell leave, but she wanted to observe what I did in my element.

Thomast muttered to himself.

I see.

Huh.

Himilt shook his head. And here he thought Vampires were hard-headed. Thomast, though, just waited a beat.

I think Pryde quite likes you, Magus Grimalkin.

The Sinew Magus had been leading the way through the snow with his strength. He slowed, then turned as The Wandering Inn came into view.

Lady Pryde Ulta? Myself?

Thomast gave him an encouraging smile. Himilt eyed the Drakes blank expression. ThenGrimalkin chuckled. He shook his head, his smile turning rueful as he folded his arms.

Thats quite kind of you to say. But she is a [Lady] of the north, and I am a Drake soldierat least partiallyof a Walled City. I cant imagine an odder match.

Stranger things have been known to happen.

Himilt couldnt level up, but he too went for the [Wingman] class. So this was how the [Lord of Love and Wine] counterlevelled. He was needed across Izril it seemed.

Yet Grimalkin was an intelligent Drake. He noted both Thomasts and Himilts expressions. He could add two and two together, even if sometimes he got time travel instead of interdimensional travel.

So why? He gave them a slow shake of the head.

Gentlemen. I understand how it may look from a purely aerial view, but I am notmy appearance is only conventionally attractive to Selphids. I am the Sinew Magus of Pallass, and I am well aware of the facts. It would not do to accuse a [Lady] of, what?

He snapped his claws.

Gold digging? It doesnt even apply since House Ulta is far richer than I could hope to be. Lets say no more of it.

Thomast slowly nodded, and they headed towards the inn. He rubbed at his frozen skin and decided he needed food firstthen hed report to Bethal and let her scream about it.

Poor Pryde. But it also told him something about the Sinew Magus that perhaps no one, not even Erin Solstice, had yet observed.

Strange. Ego on one side, if fragile, and a lack of it.

Erin Solstice could only shake her head when she heard the story of the frozen [Ladies] and [Princess].

Lyonette, when I said, go find something to do, I didnt mean that. Miss Colfa! Thank you for saving them. I didnt see you in the beach! Wanna come in? Food and drinks are on me!

The Vampire woman bowed.

We didnt want to impose on Serafierres domain, Miss Erin.

Nonsense. Her friends are my friends. I meanwelcome to the inn. You have permission to enter.

Colfa tilted her head, a bit confused by the wording, but Erin was motioning them in. She opened the door, and the Vampires walked into

Its sunlight!

Rivel, Fierres brother, shot out of the bright garden like a bullet, and Erin slapped her forehead. Oh no! But then Colfa shaded her face, and to her bemusement

Its magical light. Isnt it?

It didnt bother her. When the Lischelle-Drakle family realized thatthey were in the beach like a shot.

Get Octavias sunscreen! Huh. I guess that even if its tanning lightits not the same as sunlight. Better keep them away from my garden, though.

Magic law was weird, but fun. And the sight of the Vampires walking around the beachnot to mention Lyonette hanging out with the two [Ladies]was good.

In fact, the cold, hungry winter meant that Pryde and Bethal were on the beach like a shot, and Lyonette herself had fully gotten back on board with the beach. When Thomast and Grimalkin appeared, they just stared at the bright, warm land beyond and turned to Erin.

Hey. I heard you nerds were sitting in the cold. Get in my beach.

She gave them finger-guns with a grin. Erin stared at boths faces, one blankly polite, the other resigned with exasperation. She gave up.

Come on in!

There was only one hiccup with the new guests to the beach, and that was when a Liscorian Gnoll objected to Colfa and Himilt.

Hey! Wait! Theyre sick! Dont let the sickies in! Remember Yellow Rivers?

He pointed at Colfas rash and Himilts unusual swollen neck. Lyonette turned, and Erin was on him.

Theyre not sick with anything contagious. Hey, who are you? I dont know you. Are you one of my guests? Because you dont look it.

Hold on, I know Ekirra

Really? Well, youre off the welcome list. Because Ekirras friends are all short like him. Bouncers! Bounce this guy out!

Erin waved a hand, and Alcaz and Peggy appeared. The Gnoll was ejected, and Lyonette went over to apologize to Colfa.

Not at all, Miss Lyonette. We have long beensick, but it isnt pestilential.

No, that was inexcusable. And you are all welcome guests here! And tonight! And tomorrow! I shant hear a word against it, Miss Colfa. Or you, Lady Bethal, Lady Pryde. If nothing else, I can offer you rooms.

Bethal clapped her hands in delight as she gazed around, starry-eyed.

Ill take them! One room, and this lovely beach shall be my home! Thomast! This is far better than what I dragged us into! Why didnt you stop me?

I never try to stop you when I know theres no use, my love.

Thomast was smiling as he took his shirt off, and Dame Ushar, who had not moved markedly, sighed happily. Ser Sest, though, just gave Thomast a look of such feeling that Lyonette threw a clump of sand at him.

Is that Lord Sammial and Lord Hethon running around over there?

Pryde stared about, but even she had changed into a yellow bikini outfit that was cut from the same shiny cloth. She and Bethal looked at each other, then at Lyonette.

Well, this is far better than the snow. Princess Lyonetteno, I shall call you Lyonette, and you can call me Bethal. Youre far more fun than Magnolia let on!

Why, thank you. I admit, I didnt see how valuable the beach was until I froze a bit. Thats been a turning point for metwice. I just didnt have much to do in the innIve been working mostly and taking care of Mrsha over there.

Bethal and Prydeand even Colfalistened to Lyonette describing her work, and Bethal gave Pryde the fish-eye until Pryde nodded. Colfa asked Lyonette about raising Mrsha as a Gnoll child, and Bethal whispered to Pryde while Lyonette was distracted.

Dead gods. Magnolia made her out to be a spoiled brat. Not some working mother without a life!

Hm. We should introduce her around. Its not like everyone doesnt know her.

Pryde, that is the best idea youve had all day.

I know. Lets do that. But later

Miss Lyonette, you must join us for this beach, and I shall hear only yes! This is magnificentPryde, what are you doing?

The [Lady] stood in front of a ten foot tall wave along with Relc, Ekirra, and several brave idiots. It crashed over her, and she turned as she refused to be moved. Her feet had sunk into the sand.

[Pride is Weight].

Having fun. What are you doing?

Bethal tugged a blindfold up slightly, covering her husbands eyes.

Its this novel idea! Theres a melonhes got a sword, and hell try to hit it blind! How many people die during this game, Miss Solstice?

None! Its supposed to be a wooden sword and a watermelon! But hey, this is fun. Everyone back up!

The two [Ladies] jumped into the beach experience so fast Lyonette was jealous. But to her amazementPryde dragged her into the water, insisting on meeting Mrsha, and Bethal was up to a scheme of her own.

Welca, no objections! You can go on break after you get me a [Mage] from Invrisil. Hurry it up! Left, Thomast! Lefthit the melon!

Both [Ladies] were having fun at the beach! Lyonette was all too grateful for the heat after so much cold, but she hesitated because the reason she had initially left reappeared as an objection.

Pryde, Bethalwhat about our appearances? Were out here. Its immodest, dont you think?

They were both wearing the skimpy clothing Lyonette objected to so much. Pryde turned her head, raising her brows with clear skepticism, and Bethal looked askance at Lyonette.

My dear. Has Zanthia been talking to you? Some prudes fromyou are Calanferian, but surely Queen Ielane knows the value of showing skin?

Not the monarchy! Or even a [Lady]dont you feel stared at?

Lyonette turned and glowered, and several beach-goersand Liskalooked away, pretending not to have been staring. Bethal laughed loudly.

Lyonette, thats called being attractive, and I take it as a compliment. Now, if someone stared too much, Id have Thomast kill them. But theres something to being comfortable in your skin. I am very comfortable.

Too much.

Pryde agreed, but she turned to face Lyonette, and she smirked as she flexed in the surf. A real Grimalkin flex; Grev turned from playing beach volleyball, and his eyes popped as he saw muscles appear on the [Lady of Pride]s form, concealed by her Skill. Pryde nodded at him as Grev stared until the volleyball hit him in the back of the head.

Thats a proper reaction. I did not pump metal for months to hide it away. You take care of your hair and skin. Thats a proper manicure. Did you do it yourself?

Lyonette jumped and almost hid her fingernails, which she had been taking more care of, since she had more time and a bit of spending money.

I had help

My dear. You spent time on yourself. Dont think of it as showing too much, and by all means, cover up if you have to. But think of it as showing off.

And that perspective made Lyonettes attitude change. The two [Ladies] helped, but Lyonette realized not a lot of the glances were, as she thought, judging. If anyone even cared, like the kids, who didntshe saw Bethal turn and beam.

Theres too much to have fun with to worry about skin showing. Thomast! The melon!

She was clapping her hands, and Lyonette lost track of her as they entered the water, then began swimming around, and she found it wasnt hard, especially when she realized Pryde swam worse than her.

But the [Lady] was trying, and when Mrsha laughed her ass off, the [Lady] used her Skill.

[Pride is Weight].

She walked on the bottom of the water after the terrified girl, like some ultra-heavy Golem. Then Pryde followed her out of the water like some unstoppable pursuer from the depths. And Lyonette betrayed Mrsha by giving her to the Drowned Lady, whereupon Pryde tossed a screaming Mrsha into the water.

No one mocks m

A jet of water hit Pryde in the face. Mrsha lowered her wand as the [Lady]s eyes narrowed. She fled as Pryde began to stride after herand then Nanette splashed her.

Run for it, Mrsha!

Lyonette and Pryde chased after the girls and ran straight into a water-fight that turned into a real war when several [Mages] began casting water spells. Erin eventually had to build a literal sand-wall to protect the other beachgoers from the water war. Especially since some dirty fighters contending for love, honor, and valor on the beach, like Typhenous, were willing to both cast [Water Jet] and nail Mrsha in the face with a mudball.

Bethal found Pryde and Lyonette as they were drying off with a huge smile, and she brought something new to the beach. A panting, wide-eyed [Mage] had run all the way from Invrisils Mages Guild.

Alright, wheres that cute little girl? Thomast, get over hereand Lyonette, you too! Pryde, youll get yours.

The half-threat made the [Lady] look up from applying the suntan lotion to her skin. Tan, not block, as she liked Erins look.

Whats that? Ohanother good idea.

Isnt it? Ill want at least three dozen copies, and I am paying for as many spell casts as Lyonette and Pryde want, alright?

Yes, Lady Walchas! Im ready whenever.

The [Mage] stepped back and, to Lyonettes bemusement, held up two L-shapes with her fingers to form a rectangle in the air. She stared as Bethal called over Thomast, who, bare-chested, stood next to her as she adjusted the towel around her. They stood with their backs to the beach, and Bethal pursed her lips.

Lyonette, you hold Mrsha herestop squirming, Mrsha, isnt it? Stare at the [Mage]

What are you doing? Why am I being taken from fun? Youre not my mom! Mother, do something about this rapscallious woman!

Mrsha complained, and Lyonette stared at the [Mage]and the woman spoke.

[Magic Picture]!

Get our best look!

Lyonette gaspedthen tried to keep her face serene and composed. A picture? Mrsha eyed her and tickled her, and the [Princess] started laughing.

No, Mrsha, stop! Lady Bethal

No, this is perfect! This is what you should do, Lyonette. Pictures! It costs a bit, but theyre for memories. Memories of all the wonderful moments.

Bethals eyes shone, and Lyonette realizedthat had never occurred to her. Pictures? Suddenlyshe had to have them all. She turned, and Lady Pryde was listening to a little speech by one of the Wishdrinks hosts.

Pryde, youre next! It shall be the two of us facing a wave down or something action-packed. I cannot wait to show this to all the [Ladies]. Ill hire a Courier. While they freeze their bunions off, theyll receive a picture of us here.

Pryde smiled evilly as she turned and nodded. Then she pointed.

And you will all join me for these late-night activities. I hear there are fireworks, or light spells, and games at night.

Late night tag! Erins going to make a huge whirlpool! Mother, lets do it!

Wellwhy not?

Bethal was laughing at the thought.

Very well, Pryde, and we have to do some scheming for your war. No objectionsyou need my help, because this time, youre up against a foe worse than Lord Stoneface Veltras himself. Well have to send for Pellmia! Later, later. And you wont get me for the entire night on the beach. Im going to need some time alone later.

Her eyes twinkled, and Lyonette found herself giggling, and Pryde grumbled in her ear.

Shes always like this. Saydo you know if the Magus has a favorite food?

And there it was. Lyonette finally had all the fun she had been missing. All she needed was the right crew.

Vampires, [Ladies], and even [Knights] allowed to have fun.

Bethal and Thomast were the first to get kicked out of the beach that night. Not because Erin Solstice noticed. She was trying not to notice everything in the beach-Garden and eventually just turned off her perception of the entire space, as Laken had long-since learned to do.

Rather, it was when the other couples began to file noise complaints that Erin Solstice had to take action.

Oh, and one last thing. That night, a single [Spy] who had been sad about their permanent surveillance of The Wandering Innin the freezing cold because it was impossible to get insidesent a rather lengthy report to several clients.

Optional intelligence. Would you care to purchase a magical recording? A [Princess] and a [Lady] Versus a Fish? What in the name of

Niers Astoragon hesitated and wondered if he was being extorted, but it wasnt intelligence proper. He sent a few gold over and then received an entire magical [Scrying] spell that his [Diviner] had to grumpily copy over.

The effort and expense turned into a projection on a scrying orb that Niers watched as he yawned and attended a very late-night planning session with some of the Fraerlings on the campaign. Commander Rozcal snorted his drink out his nose, and Niers stopped laughing long enough to wheeze.

Someonesomeone get Foliana and tell her its urgent. I need fifteen copies. Send one to Calanfer! Please!

King Fetohep of Khelt rubbed at his brows, but the laughter of his subjects was a good thing, so he murmured to the side.

It seems I have another form of entertainment. Put a bounty out for any other suchtidbits. And broadcast this clandestinely for my people to see. Perhapsobscure their faces?

He looked at the image and snorted.

[Worldly Princess Level 29!]

[Skill Travellers Advancing Techniques obtained!]

[Skill Change Basic Cooking Seafood Cooking obtained!]

[Skill Seafood Cooking Obtained!]

[Conditions Met: Clandestine Spy Spy of the Captured Moment class!]

[Spy of the Captured Moment Level 30!]

[Bound Spell Scrying obtained!]

[Skill Record Spell obtained!]

[Skill Deepened Magical Crystals obtained!]

[Skill Lesser Frost Resistance obtained!]

Authors Note: Another chapter bites the dust. I passed 10k words, but I had fun while writing this. If you did too, then this chapter was meant for you.

Hopefully you are not all dreaming of the beach like I now am. I should really stop writing chapters like these. But then again, wanting to do something is a good impetus.

Short chapter let me focus on less-ambitious targets. Well. ShortIm just doing what I want.

I never got the watermelon splitting thing, though. My food after a beach was a local Thai restaurant and I still remember having the soup and food there. Or those fruits with ice cream in them.

Have a good one, and remember: seafood is just bugs. Crabs are spiders. Shrimp are bugs. Dont eat bugs.

Stream Art by the Talented Artsynada! The Secret Despair of Lady Pryde and Pride and Grimalkin. I came up with the /illudanajohns

Ishkr, Bad Mrsha, and GasterPisces by /atlasphenomenon

Ko-fi: /fiorepandaphen

Nutball and Cringe by Tatolord!

Lesson and Redscar by kiffaB!