CH 8

Zi Kou did not hear the sentimental love story she wanted to hear, and groaned with a bit of dissatisfaction. I laid on the bed, and raised my head to look up at the ceiling. Many long-ago memories came and went in my mind. 

In fact, I actually think of him very often, even if that was an old matter of fourteen years ago. 

He accompanied me during the day for those three days. At night, he would go to help out with performing at the banquet. I would sit in the courtyard, watching the fireworks while waiting for him. 

When he wasn’t playing the guqin, he would tell me stories, many stories from a long, long time ago like the huge world outside of the palace and city, the numerous vassal states, the legend of the northern underworld and southern underworld, and the end of the world. 

Only when I met him, did I realize that this world is so big. 

As for that song 《Tender Peach》, after I learned to sing it, A Yao would smile and praise me for singing well. Looking at his bright and beautiful smiling eyes, I suddenly cried. 

After my mother passed away, I didn’t know what else I could do for her. I didn’t even feel that much sadness, and at best, I was at loss of what to do. 

At that time, I suddenly thought that if only I had learned this song earlier, then I could have sung it to her before she passed away. She really liked this song, and would definitely be very happy. 

Perhaps she would have smiled and bent her eyes while praising me for singing well. Just like his kind of gentle smile, praising me for doing well.  

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I don’t know what is the point of living as it is clear that there is already no one in this world who loves me anymore. 

A Yao comforted me, and said: “If you can love yourself well, then doesn’t this mean that there is someone in this world who loves you? To you, you are the most precious person in the world.”

I lifted my head to look up at him. His smile was bright and soft. 

It seemed that this was the first time, and the only time someone had told me I was precious.  

Later on, I followed his words, loving myself the most in this world, and only living for myself. In the countless moments when I was lonely and fearful, or in desperate moments, I would always remember his words, thinking that if I died, then there would be no one in the world who would remember me. With this, I was actually able to persist. 

I only saw this person for three days, but I actually remembered him for fourteen years. 

Where is he? Is he still alive, and is he doing well? If he saw me now, he would probably be very disappointed. The girl he once treated with kindness and tenderness did not become a kind-hearted person like him. 

However, he most likely doesn’t remember me now. 

“But ah, Sister A’zhi.” Zi Kou finished groaning, turned her face and laid on my pillow. She looked at me, and said: “Sister, your eyes are different when you talk about that person. You must like him a lot. It is really nice to have a sweetheart.” 

I smiled and rubbed her hand, speaking in a quiet voice: “Sleep.” 

The Monarch of the Fan Kingdom is already in his old years, and is engrossed in wanting to be immortal, instead of paying attention to the affairs of the nation. The prime minister introduced a Daoist immortal to the Monarch. Whenever the Monarch is sick, he would often listen and comply with the words of the Daoist immortal for treatment. Before Ji Yu arrived, the Monarch’s health was not good, and the Daoist immortals said that the Monarch’s destiny belongs to a fire disease, and that one must not meet those who clash with his fate. 

“Ji Yu’s birthday is associated with water so naturally he was excluded from the list of guests of the Monarch. On the other hand, Su Cheng would often go see the Monarch of the Fan Kingdom. It didn’t take long for that “immortal” to provoke the Monarch of the Fan Kingdom for offending Su Cheng. At this moment, evidence has surfaced that he embezzled silver1this was money back then, and spoke disrespectful words to the Monarch. The Monarch of the Fan Kingdom was towering in rage, and beheaded the head of that Daoist immortal, and even continued to take his anger out on the prime minister. 

I did not know how Ji Yu did this. After threatening Zichen , I then handed him over to Ji Yu. It can be assumed that he provided Ji Yu with a lot of evidence that was unfavorable towards that immortal. Ji Yi carefully selected a few, and used Su Cheng as the point to trigger the crack. Everything was one by one arranged properly, and after triggering them, he is able to attain the best results.   

From this, Ji Yu can finally meet the Monarch of the Fan Kingdom. Xia Wan, Ling Shang, and I both helped arrange the attire for Ji Yu when he goes to see the Monarch. Xia Wan held a piece of clothing from the box, and spread it flat on the table. Ling Shang then uses the boiling water in the copper kettle to iron the creases on the clothes flat. 

I’ve always been very clumsy and foolish about this kind of stuff so it is already a great fortune to not have damaged the clothes. Fortunately, Xia Wan instructed me to boil water, and didn’t let me do more attentive work. 

Ling Shang had quite an energetic personality, and had good hands for working. She has fast hands and feet, but actually does things very properly. It could even be said that she takes care of Ji Yu’s life in every possible way. 

“When the young master meets the Monarch, are you also going?” Xia Wan asked me while tidying up. 

I fanned the small stove, and replied: “Young master instructed me to accompany him.” 

“Young master’s lobbying2Lobbying = seek to influence an officials or ruler on an issue, and  promote one’s political ideas is the most exciting. Before there was someone who argued with the young master in court. The eight people who were stunned could not out-talk the young master alone. In addition, they were choked so hard that they couldn’t lift their backs. I almost laughed to death…Anyways, A’zhi will know tomorrow.” Ling Shang went to the closet to get clothes, and as soon as her words fell, she then followed up with a small exclamation: “Ay, there are still a few small clothes here.” 

“You opened the wrong box, and it is the one on the other side.” Xia Wan walked over and pointed to a box on the other side. Ling Shang looked at those small clothes for a long time, and smiled happily: “These are the young master’s clothes from when he was a child, right? Sister Wan, your collection?” 

Xia Wan did not deny it, tilting her head, and smiling: “He grows too fast year after year. I’m afraid I will forget what he looked like as a child.” 

Ling Shang clicked her tongue, and sighed twice, smiling: “It’s a pity that I came late. The young master is already an elegant young gentleman.” 

“It is also a good thing to have come late. In the early years, with the matters that the young master suffered through, how could you have endured it with your temper.”  

Xia Wan said and looked at me. I looked at them, and then went back to focusing on fanning the small stove. Xia Wan put those small clothes away, and closed the lid of the box, sighing: “He really has changed a lot over the years.” 

After Xia Wan and Ling Shang spoke a few more words again, she held the clothes and walked over. When she passed me, she stopped walking and was a bit surprised: “A’zhi, are you not feeling well? Why are you trembling?” 

I straightened up, and moved my body around: “After squatting for a long time, my body feels numb.” 

I clearly didn’t do much of anything today, yet I feel very tired. Even with my tiredness, I couldn’t fall asleep early at night. I opened my eyes, and started at the ceiling, listening to Zi Kou’s steady breathing until it was almost a new day. When it was almost dawn, I finally fell into a dream, and in my dream, I saw A Yao. 

I haven’t dreamed of him in years. 

He was still standing in front of me in that goose-yellow robe like he had fourteen years ago, holding that guqin that was taller than him. He is born good-looking, and when he smiles, he is even more good-looking with that pair of crystal clear amber eyes. 

He was two steps away from me. When I took a step forward, he instead took a step back.  

He said to me——sorry.

I don’t know why he is saying sorry. 

He was just looking at me, warmly and sadly looking at me. He did not say another word. 

The dream abruptly came to an end here. When I woke up, Zi Kou was next to me, calling my name. She said I was trembling, and she was a bit worried about me. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” She asked me. 

I nodded, and thought about it for a bit, suddenly bursting out laughing. I patted Zi Kou’s shoulders, and said: “After so many years, there are still things in the world that I fear.” 

“Dreams are just dreams, don’t be afraid.” Zi Kou said very firmly. 

I looked into her eyes, and smiled: “Hmm.” 

On this day, Chang Le, Mo Xiao, Nan Su, and I all accompanied Ji Yu to see the Monarch of the Fan Kingdom. He was dressed very elegantly, and smiled properly, very modest without losing that dignified nobility. 

Monarch Fan was a bit lazy. It was rumored that he was quite unconcerned about political affairs, and from the looks of it, it does not seem to be wrong. After both parties exchanged greetings, everyone sat down. Monarch Fan leaned on the back of the golden silk chair, and said slowly: “It has long been heard that Young Master Ji Yu has quite unusual strategies so let’s listen to it.” 

Ji Yu saluted and said with a smile: “As for any unusual strategies , I do not dare, but there is a method for immortality, presented to the Monarch.” 

As soon as the words ”immortality” was heard, Monarch Fan’s eyes instantly lit up, sitting upright and still with eagerness: “This young master, please speak.” 

I saw the smile in Ji Yu’s eyes, and knew that Monarch Fan had taken the bait. To be known as the world’s number one lobbyist, Ji Yu must have his own skills. He said that when the Yu Kingdom was established, there was once a thousand-year-old sacred tortoise, and is still enshrined till this very day; therefore, the Monarch of the Yu Kingdom has always lived a long life. If one was to forcibly seize away a sacred object, then one is afraid that it would be disrespectful to the deities. However if the Fan Kingdom can save the Yu Kingdom from fire and water3means deep disaster, then it would only be rational that they would offer this sacred object. 

The prime minister advocates that the Fan Kingdom’s water supply and harvest is not good this year. If a war was started at this moment, then it would be a waste of manpower and resources, and should instead preserve and nurture one’s spirit4refining one’s strength for the big push.

Ji Yu said that the Wu Kingdom has an rampant and arrogant manner so how could they give the time for the Fan Kingdom to preserve and nurture one’s spirit? At that time, he can just attack the Yu Kingdom, and obtain the granary5Granary = a storehouse or place for threshed grain of the Yu Kingdom. It is inevitable to not attack the neighboring Fan Kingdom, and it will be too late to fight again at that time. Just like crossing a river, the enemy is the weakest when they are located in the middle of the river, and attacking would be easily successful. If the energy has already crossed the river, and is deploying troops while arranging formations, the most one can do is hold their heads high as it will be too late to send out troops.    

The prime minister also said that the main army of the Wu and Zhao Kingdoms are big and have great forces so even if the Fan Kingdom helps the Yu Kingdom, they can still not be victorious. 

Ji Yi refuted, and said that although the main army Wu and Zhao Kingdoms are violent and thunderous, they also share the same bed with different dreams6“sleep in the same but have different dreams” = means appear to be on the same side, but in fact each have their own different agendas)  . If the alliance between the two Kingdoms can be ruptured, scoring a victory is as easy as a hand’s turn7“As easy as a hand’s turn” = means very easy/no effort at all, idiom. 

I see that he speaks of the pros and cons in full detail in just a few words, treating it as if this matter is no big deal while stirring up public sentiment by using false statements. When those tactics and strategies came out of his mouth, it was like a fruit wrapped in a layer of honey, making a captivating sugary fruit. Monarch Fan’s state of mind was completely in the control of his hands. With every frown and laugh, he had a way to handle each and every. He besieged, and took over the whole court in this way, watching Monarch Fan being persuaded by him step by step.

Lobbyists attack. the heart which is valued above all else. Those elaborated words from him floated through my mind, but did not leave behind any weight. I just looked at him carefully, looking at his eyes, the bridge of his nose, his lips, his jawline, and listening to his constant rise and occasionally low syllable of his words. All the details were strangely familiar. 

Perhaps I did not get enough sleep, and my pondering has become difficult and slow. These fragmental images were tangled in my mind. It was as if I was running on a dark road until there was a dead end. 

After nearly two hours of disputement, Ji Yu obtained a big victory, and Monarch Fan promised to send troops out, and give a large reward. He complied with a smile. The prime minister’s complexion was not good, and he simply saluted, then withdrew. 

Since Monarch Fan has been seeking an immortal for so many years, it was always the prime minister who was in charge of the politics and government. A few years, Monarch Fan spent an unknown amount of money on immortality medicine, and immortality techniques. It was not until the prime minister recommended an “immortal” to Monarch Fan when Monarch Fan dwindled. 

Although the prime minister said that he was a bit arbitrary8Arbitrary = based on random or personal choice, rather than any reason or system, he was doing everything at his best. Although he and the Hou Mansion did not get along, the matter of sending troops out was not indeed not targeted towards Xiang Shaoya. This year, the flooding in the Fan Kingdom is very serious, and the prime minister is the one who knows about the pros and cons the best, and sending troops out to the Yu Kingdom is like a gamble on the fate of the nation. He did not want to gamble on this. 

When we left with Ji Yu, Su Cheng was already waiting at the doorway. She said a few words to Ji Yu, and there was a continuous smiling expression in her eyes. 

Such a pitiful girl, I thought. 

When I returned to the Hou Mansion, I bumped into Zichen . He is a busy person, and ever since that conversation where I revealed his identity, we rarely met after that. This time, we met in the winding corridor of the garden. After he was stunned for a bit, he started to laugh with his usual expression: “Young Lady A’zhi.” 

Still having that clean and energetic look of a youth. 

As a result, I nodded as a response. 

After walking together for a short period of time, he suddenly looked at me: “Can I ask you a question?” 

His tone of voice was very light. I also turned to look at him, indicating for him to continue. 

“At what point did you start to suspect me?” 

He really did act utterly harmless from the very beginning, and Lord Hou suspected that the mole is someone who permanently lives in the mansion which also got rid of most of the suspicion for him. According to logic, the suspicion would not land on his head no matter what. 

I thought for a moment before replying: “From the very beginning when you spoke to me for the first time.” 

He raised his eyebrows: “The welcoming banquet for Young Master Ji Yu?”

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

I turned to look him in the eye, and faintly smiled: “You took the initiative to chat with me, and were also very curious towards me. As a result, I felt that you are not ordinary.” 

In the eyes of ordinary people, I am a woman that can not be anymore ordinary. The amount of people who have seen me many times, yet forget about how I look is not small. The amount of people who have spoken to me many times, yet forget about who I am is even more. There is no one who will take the initiative to care and think of me. 

In my short twenty-one years of life, the people who can notice me at first glance, are all similar to me. 

He was a little suspicious, but quickly stretched out his brows, and said with a smile: “It is unexpectedly like this.” 

I was silent for a moment before asking: “Can I also ask you a question?” 

He nodded: “Say.” 

I stood in the middle of the garden facing him, looking into his eyes. 

“Why do you like Lord Hou?” 

He was a bit surprised, and his face turned white first, then gradually reddened a bit. He looked very young and good-looking against the background of burning-red maple leaves.   

I admired the change in his complexion, originally thinking that he was good at disguising his deep thoughts, but  have actually forgotten that he was just merely just a seventeen year old youth. It turns out that love is something that cannot be hidden, even for a hidden spy. 

It can be assumed that Xiang Shaoya also knew that Zichen adored him, so he never had any suspicions. 

“I have already answered your question.” I saw that he had hesitation so I said. 

He lowered his eyes, now knowing what he was thinking. He lightly smiled: “Young Lady A’zhi, I entered the mansion when I was six, and only at the age of 10 did I know that my father is not dead, and instead is in the hands of the prime minister. In the beginning, it was real.” 

He raised his eyes to look up at me, with a bit of sadness and helplessness in his eyes. 

“I have been by his side for eleven years. Young lady has also seen what type of person he is. Such an outstanding person who has set his heart on me, and treats me well. How can I not like him?” 

I was silent. 

Xiang Shaoya is a gentle and open-minded person with a dignified appearance which is indeed rare among the nobles I have seen. Such a person is willing to make an exception for Zichen, and also willing to let down the young madam who loves him so naturally, Zichen would be moved by this. 

I asked: “Even if you and him are both male? And even if you are a hidden spy?” 

“Yes.” He replied very firmly. 

“No matter what I am, I will still really like him.” 

I looked at him, looking at his bright and sad eyes on the autumn day. I felt that I had finally hit a wall on that dark road, causing my blood to flow down. It was painful, but I was clear-headed. 

I must seek for the absolute truth.