Chapter 5 5: Mistakes

The maid did not leave the kitchen, but I didn't let her involve herself in the cooking. She got pretty pissed and asked 'Is this a new tantrum young master?' Which was, to be honest, way unnecessary, so I told her to shut up or I'd have her beheaded.

Did the trick. Lol.

I forced her to get me a stool and got to the cooking while standing on it. Curse my short height.

I quickly prepared some toast and soup, omelets to go with the bread, chopped-up fruits in a salad, and brewed coffee. The entire time the maid was looking at me unnerved while biting her teeth. Before she could say anything, I glared at her and shut her up each time.

"Get some plates."

The maid who looked to be in her early twenties moved at my words. Actually, she must be even younger if I had to judge her from the way her bone structure looked. I wasn't an expert in guessing it though thanks to mana interfering with it, but it would be safe to assume she was in the range of 17 to 23.

That would make her about 10 years older than me. And about 8 or 7 years older than Lily.

She quietly slammed the plates on the kitchen counter.

"Lily told me there are four people living in this mansion?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Yes, what about it?"

"Do you want us to share the plates or something? Get more out."

I remembered Yujin being called harsh and rude a lot, but even in a different body and with different memories in a different world, I did not see any rudeness in my actions.

The maid pulled her upper body back at my words and then lowered her head. Was she shocked or sad? I couldn't tell. She slowly moved to bring out more plates while I listened to the kettle. As she was retrieving the cutlery, she spoke up again. The hostility packed in her voice and the tone lowered to a whisper.

"What mischief are you planning now, young master?"

"My, can a maid always be this out of line?" I snapped back without batting an eye.

"Hah... How can you say that to someone who has raised you from the beginning?"

My eyes opened wide when the hostility was replaced by a sharp pang of pain in her voice.

"You've ruined my life already, what more do you want?"

What the hell was she saying to an 8 year old? Before that, what did she even mean?

I closed my eyes and coursed through my memories again. Her words had left me unsettled. It was a hassle since the memories of the Eugene of yesterday were already placed behind the memories of Yujin. I had to recall a time greater than 16 years to remember what I even had for lunch yesterday.

I focused.

The kettle trembled, the coffee nigh prepared.

The sounds of the maid's heels clacking against the floor complimented it.

Then, I remembered. It came flooding back like a river.

As a six year old, two years before now, I had caused an accident causing a kettle of boiling water to fall on the youngest son of the Hall family's head. I was playing around with my younger sibling when the mother of the child and the third wife ended up dropping boiling water on the small child due to a sudden jolt from me. It was an accident all around, but the wench twisted the story by saying that 'this motherless child is a psychopath, he's jealous of the little one and tried to kill him!'

In case one didn't understand.

The motherless child here referred to me, Mr. Eugene Hall. The head of the family, Count Hall was furious too, and on the insistence of his third wife, he had me sent to the faraway estate. Along with me was sent a young maid who had a bright career ahead of herself. As the one who had raised me since childhood, it was natural that she was blamed as well.

Lily, the said maid's apprentice was sent along with her.

And Keith, who was the outcast in the knight order but the son of a baron.

After that incident, I, Eugene started harassing and pushing away the rest who were sent with me. They were frustrated too, but liked me at first. Eventually, that liking turned to dislike and then contempt as Eugene did not stop pushing their buttons.

What a disgusting amount of irresponsibility showed not only by Marquis hall, but also these kids here. In their defence, none of them were above the age of 20 and were still immature young children.

Still, Eugene was surrounded by people who wouldn't trust him or guide him. His turning into a petty villain in that Eroge was natural.

Thinking on it now, though, accident or not, getting a toddler burnt was pretty horrible. I wouldn't expect a 6 year old to be able to avoid it, it was the third wife that should have been careful with 2 children. But that said, now that I was that 6 year old, it did make me feel a little guilty. And the harassment that I subjected these kids to for the next 2 years was also pretty horrible.

I sighed as I remembered everything.

The kettle whistled.

The maid stopped next to me and placed the cutlery down, biting her lips. How annoying.

I slowly moved my hand and brushed off the hair from her forehead. I was standing on a stool, so she was within reach. I leaned closer, noticing the locks of black on my hand.

The maid widened her eyes.

"Maria," that was her name. I remembered it while thinking back on my expulsion. "Do you want me to apologize?

I offered to say a word I did not like.

It was a selfish word. A word that did not show any remorse or guilt.

Personally, I thought repentance and remorse were to be displayed from one's actions. Mistakes could only be 'corrected' or 'made up' for. In that equation, the emotional word did not hold any standing. It was nothing more than a shallow and selfish word that showed your intent to skirt responsibility and repentance.

It was only a word that bridged the gap in relationships, fixing problems was the last thing it could hope to do. Problems were only fixed through one's actions.

"Do you want me to say 'I am sorry'?" I asked again.

With my palm still on her forehead, she lowered her head.

Sorry.

The word sucked. It hurt my ear.

Essential as it may have been for relationships, I never cared about those in the first place.

I raised her head with my palm and looked into her eyes.

"I won't." I said.

I was Eugene Hall.

His mistakes were my mistakes. So were Yujin's.

"I won't apologize," I said.

I wasn't going to run away from my mistakes.

"So watch me instead."