CH 40

As soon as Yu Ran got home, Li Guirong called and asked him why he hadn’t been to class for two days in a row without asking for leave from the homeroom teacher. Yu Ran pretended to be weak and said that his stomach was uncomfortable, and that he was now lying down, unable to move. 

Li Guirong muttered on the other side of the phone: “You brothers really are together in everything. Do you have a fever? Why don’t I come back to see you two after I get off work now.”

“No need, no need! I’ll make some millet porridge for myself. You go about your business.” Yu Ran quickly changed into his slippers and went into his room. It turned out that his brother hadn’t gone to school today as well. He was huddled in the quilt, looking at the ceiling with a bitter expression on his face.

Yu Ran sat next to him. “Yo, what’s the matter, brother? There’s a demonic aura on you.”

Yu Jin’s face was tilted to one side and his eyebrows were frowning. Yu Ran had thought that he was pretending to be ill because he didn’t want to go to school. Now it seemed that something was really wrong. He leaned over to cover his brother’s forehead anxiously. 

“Where do you feel uncomfortable, let’s go to the hospital to have a look.”

“After I… I woke up this morning…”

Yu Jin turned his back. He wanted to say something but hesitated, but then he thought for a while and felt that he could only tell his brother about this matter: “After waking up, I found that my underwear was a bit wet. I went to the toilet and found a lot of ‘that’.”

After hearing Yu Jin’s obscure manner of speaking, Yu Ran’s thoughts ran rapidly and he quickly judged what Yu Jin meant by “that”.

It dawned on him that in fact he had also encountered this situation in junior high school. At that time, he had been too frightened to tell his parents, and he had quietly washed and changed his underwear in the middle of the night. Later, he had learned in the Biology class that it was a normal physiological phenomenon experienced during adolescence, and everyone would experience it when the time came.

“Don’t worry, brother, this situation is called… is called…” Yu Ran stroked his hair and tried to recall the proper noun, but he hadn’t taken a Biology class for nearly two years, and he had forgotten all his knowledge a long time ago.

He looked at Yu Jin’s uneasy expression, and bad thoughts started to wriggle in his mind. He told the boy regretfully: “You’re impotent.”

Yu Jin obviously couldn’t digest the sudden information. His eyes turned stiff, and the whole person was fixed on the bed. 

The atmosphere fell into dead silence, and after a few minutes, Yu Jin’s lips couldn’t stop trembling, and tears started to spill out of his eyes.

He first covered his face and whimpered, then started bawling: “It’s over, I’m still a virgin!”

Yu Ran smacked his lips and said calmly: “This is not unusual. ”

Yu Jin rushed to him hysterically: “I’m still a Grade One state-protected virgin!” 

Yu Ran suddenly laughed, slapped Yu Jin’s thigh across the quilt, and told him the truth: “I’m teasing you, fool. You’re not impotent. Really not impotent. Now, don’t cry. ”

Yu Jin immediately sat upright like a carp jumping out of water and turned over to beat his brother.

“Wait, I’ll read you a book, it’s written in it.” Yu Ran went to the living room to rummage through the bookcase. There were a few books on traditional Chinese medicine and health care on the shelves. His father had bought them many years ago. He took one back to his room, sat down next to Yu Jin, and they flipped through the book together. They saw a phrase from “Outer Commentary on the Book of Songs by Master Han” — Male; their teeth start to grow at eight months, they begin losing their deciduous teeth at eight years old, and at sixteen, their sexual organs mature and become a little conspicuous.

Yu Ran pored over the words on the yellowed page attentively, and meticulously read to Yu Jin: “They begin losing their something-something teeth at eight years old, and at sixteen, their sexual organs mature and become a little cun… cunt. That word must be the full form of cunt.” 

He gave a meaningful and long “Oh” as he circled an arm around Yu Jin’s shoulder. “Did you see, the book says that when you reach sixteen, you’ll form sperm (reach sexual maturity) and grow a little vagin—”

Yu Jin suddenly covered his ears, widened his eyes, and screamed and roared: “Ahhh! I won’t listen! I won’t listen!”

Yu Ran threw the book aside, lay on the bed and laughed loudly. He then pulled Yu Jin’s arms away from his ears and said loudly in his ear: “You will be intersex from now on, you’re awesome bro!”

Yu Jin cried hideously, and strangled Yu Ran’s neck, trying to die with him. 

Pc atf fcv, atf akb bo atfw rfjgmtfv obg atf mbggfma jcrkfg ab atlr qtsrlbibulmji qtfcbwfcbc abufatfg ja cluta. Te Alc olgwis gfwfwyfgfv atf kbgv “kfa vgfjwr” jcv mbiijqrfv klat gfilfo, weaafglcu rfnfgji alwfr “Vmjgfv wf ab vfjat”.

Yu Ran curiously browsed the web page for a while. Baidu said that wet dreams happened after falling asleep. After pondering for a while, he couldn’t help but wonder: Wouldn’t a person who sleeps excessively like Chu Mian have a greater chance of having wet dreams?

“I sit up startled although I’m sick and about to die, as if the Milky Way were falling from the very sky.” Yu Ran couldn’t help but recite a poem on the spot, and he made up his mind, “I’ll ask him some day.”

Sjgis rqglcu lc Zjgmt kjr oeii bo nlajilas. 

Ca atf yfulcclcu bo atf cfk rfwfrafg, atf rmtbbi fcnlgbcwfca tjv ajxfc j cfk ibbx. Ktf kjiir tjv yffc gfqjlcafv jcv ibbxfv ygluta, jcv atf ygbchf tbgrf rajaef lc ogbca bo atf rmtbbi ujaf tjv lar yjrf gfqijmfv, ktlmt kjr wemt olgwfg atjc yfobgf.

Yu Ran was sitting in the classroom, kneading Chengjun Middle School’s new mascot “Nian Zizi” in his palm. It was in the shape of fried dumplings, and had the sunniest and the most cheerful expression in the whole “Zizi family”. Yu Ran tied it to his school bag. When he remembered it, he turned around and said hello to Chu Mian with the smile of the mascot.

Chu Mian didn’t pay much attention to him and lowered his head to read the book so as not to be distracted.

But Yu Ran sat just right in front of him in class. He was extremely hyperactive. He would lean over and whisper to others. Chu Mian’s attention would get attracted to him from time to time and he would listen to what the other person was saying to other students. 

No… I need to control myself.

Chu Mian silently reminded himself to control the frequency of attention he gave to Yu Ran.

But Yu Ran was like a red notification icon on a mobile app. People usually felt the urge to reach out and click on it as soon as they saw it. Chu Mian also suffered from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. He had to update every software to the latest version. But the thing was: App data could still be uninstalled and cleared, but he couldn’t let Yu Ran disappear right before his eyes.

Chu Mian looked at Yu Ran’s back and unconsciously poked the eraser with the tip of his pen, piercing it full of holes. 

Fortunately, there was still a Language class this morning. Yu Ran’s fear of Miss Wang remained unabated. As soon as she entered the door, he quickly sat upright and didn’t dare to be absent-minded. Chu Mian was able to concentrate and listen carefully.

Soon, Yu Ran was called up to translate classical Chinese. Even when he finished reading the whole answer, Teacher Wang did not let him sit down.

“I’m not going to talk in this class, ah, you guys will do the talking,” Teacher Wang said, facing the class, “The one who finishes answering shall choose the next person to explain the exercise problems. I’ll see who gets distracted. Yu Ran, you can name someone.”

Yu Ran raised his head and held his chest high, as if he had the power to control the life and death of the whole class, and shouted proudly, “Chu Mian!” 

Chu Mian was not surprised and read the questions in detail and explained them calmly. At last, when it was time to name a student, he retaliated by calling Yu Ran to stand up again.

Yu Ran quickly read the answer. “Chu Mian!”

Chu Mian didn’t let him go this time as well. “Yu Ran.”

“Chu Mian!” 

“Yu Ran.”

…

Everyone listened to the two of them finish reading all the questions on the paper till the last class was over. It was as if they were watching a battle.

Teacher Wang was very satisfied and praised the two of them in front of the whole class: “In studying, you must have this kind of spirit of catching up with each other and competing with each other! Yu Ran and Chu Mian have worked hard, let’s give them a round of applause.” 

After the long and gentle bell rang, the two of them finally sat down with a sigh of relief, feeling tired at the same time.

On the way to the canteen, Yu Ran raised his arm to press Chu Mian’s shoulder, and said, “Look, you weren’t sleepy during the Language class today. Why are you still not thanking me?”

Chu Mian nodded perfunctorily, kept his mouth shut, and controlled himself to not look at the other party.

Yu Ran was very curious about the number of times Chu Mian experienced that physiological phenomena, but he couldn’t ask directly in front of Cui He and Ye Xi. He just couldn’t help but show more concern for Chu Mian during the meal, and gave him a lot of okra, loofah, beans and other vegetables. 

Unfortunately, Chu Mian hated these things, so he put them back on Yu Ran’s plate.

Fang Zhao watched their chopsticks rattling around, and asked Yu Ran: “Why are you giving Chu Mian so many green vegetables?”

Yu Ran said lightly: “To enhance his virility.”

Chu Mian’s expression stiffened slightly, and his chopsticks did not move. 

The others were baffled and looked at Yu Ran: “Is that something you should be concerned about?”

“Hey, we’re all brothers, don’t be polite with me. Come on, you all eat more too.”

Yu Ran enthusiastically gave okra to Chu Mian who had a cold expression, and didn’t forget to tell him: “It nourishes your body and strengthens my heart; when brothers are of the same heart, they can overcome anything.”

Ye Xi felt that the air in front of her was pink, and tentatively asked, “Yu Ran, did you experience any major events when you didn’t come to class two days ago?” 

Yu Ran’s smile at the corner of his mouth dimmed. His thoughts were complex and he sighed in a low voice: “Hey, when men grow up for the first time, it’ll be a little painful.”

He didn’t want to fall into his memories again, so he hurriedly continued to urge Chu Mian to eat vegetables: “You sleep so many times a day, you need more tonic.”

Amidst the stunned gazes of several people around, Chu Mian slowly put down his chopsticks, raised his head and told Yu Ran solemnly, “I don’t need it.”

Cui He coughed loudly and moved the plate far away. “We are in the middle of eating. Don’t talk about this kind of topic.” 

Yu Ran nodded hurriedly. Chu Mian looked at the rice in his bowl covered with a rich green color and suddenly lost his appetite.

He couldn’t tell whether Yu Ran really cared about his physical condition or was hinting at something. Based on Chu Mian’s understanding of Yu Ran, it was impossible for the Muggle to master the advanced communication skills of giving “hints”, but he didn’t understand why Yu Ran was suddenly interested in strange things.

… Was his “system version” about to be updated? Chu Mian was confused.

Shortly after the school had started classes, brand new spring and summer school uniforms had been issued for the first grade senior high school students. Boys’ uniforms had ties, and girls’ uniforms had short skirts and bow ties. This style that was in line with international standards surprised many students. But, it was not convenient to exercise while wearing a uniform. Thus, the school allowed everyone to wear this formal uniform only on some important occasions, and their usual uniform was still the black sportswear. 

The first “important occasion” of this semester was the Arbor Day Mobilization Meeting. The students from first and second years of high school were required to wear their dark blue uniforms and gather in the auditorium.

Yu Ran didn’t know how to wear a tie, so he simply tied a knot, slipped the tie over his head, and stuffed it under his collar. Even the well-ironed uniform wrapped around him failed to give off an honest and serious temperament to him. But fortunately, he had a slender figure and a handsome face, so even if he was sloppily dressed, he was still the focus of the crowd.

“Arbor Day has a fucking mobilization meeting? I had never known this day was ever a holiday either.” Yu Ran waited in line to take his seat and whispered to Fang Zhao, “But I like Arbor Day very much. It is also called Greenery Day, it sounds very healthy.”

“Why are you lifting up your pants again? Does this school uniform size don’t fit either?” Fang Zhao stretched out his hands and touched Yu Ran’s waist. “Fuck, it’s so thin.” 

When the homeroom teacher saw Yu Ran, she immediately walked over and personally arranged his tie for him, and reminded him: “This meeting is going to be videotaped. Our class is in the first row. You should properly sit down and not move around. Do you hear me?”

“Oh, oh, oh.”

Holding the waistband of his pants, Yu Ran followed the line to the front row, pulled open the seat, and sat down firmly.

After all the classes were seated in an orderly manner, the meeting officially began. Remembering the words of the homeroom teacher, Yu Ran sat upright in front of the camera and looked straight ahead. 

In the first half of the meeting, he conducted himself properly, but when it was the turn of the student representatives to speak, he slacked off a bit.

“Now let’s invite the representative of first year students.” The host finished the curtain call, and everyone in the audience focused on the young man who was walking on the stage.

The uniform had a better effect in bringing out Chu Mian’s wide shoulders and long legs than a sports jacket, and displayed the perfect proportions of his figure. He walked to the microphone stand in the center of the stage, looked at the auditorium, and calmly adjusted the height of the stand before reading the manuscript.

“Good morning, teachers and students.” Chu Mian’s face was expressionless, and his eyes finally found Yu Ran’s position. “In the beautiful season of spring, nature has taken on a new look, and we have ushered in the annual National Arbor Day—” 

After reciting the first sentence, he forgot the rest of the words, which was rare, and he quickly lowered his head to unfold the manuscript.

Yu Ran slowly relaxed and completely forgot Bai Yuzhu’s previous instructions. He leaned lazily against the back of the chair and concentrated on appreciating Chu Mian’s appearance on the stage. So handsome and capable.

He was so absorbed in watching that his center of gravity moved back unconsciously. When he was relaxing, his seat suddenly sank. Before he could open his mouth and make a sound, he fell directly with the chair.

When Fang Zhao heard the movement next to him, he turned his head and impressively found that Yu Ran was sandwiched in the center of the folding seat, with his legs hanging outside. 

Yu Ran froze. He remembered that there were cameras filming nearby, so he didn’t dare to move. He silently blended with the seat, it was a natural fit.

“Building an ecological homeland is both our common pursuit and our glorious mission, let us take action immediately—” When Chu Mian was about to finish reading the manuscript, he glanced carelessly down the stage and saw Yu Ran who was folded in the middle of the folding seat.

Chu Mian choked and coughed twice. His face turned red because he was holding back his laughter. He hastily finished reading his speech, saluted, and left the stage.

When the mobilization meeting was over, Yu Ran got out of the seat with the help of the students around him and walked out of the auditorium clutching the waistband of his pants. 

Chi Mian has already returned to the class. He flung a thin brown rope to Yu Ran. “Just use this.”

Yu Ran took it and tied it tightly around his arm.

Chu Mian pulled it off. “Use it as a belt.”

“Oh. Oh.” 

Yu Ran looked at Chu Mian, smiled at him, and commented on the uniform: “It suits you.”

Chu Mian rolled the speech manuscript in his hand into a thin tube, and without looking at Yu Ran, he said, “You too.”

Yu Ran fastened the string tightly, and seeing that there was no one around, he quickly grabbed Chu Mian’s arm and quietly pulled him closer to him.

Chu Mian’s heart dropped. 

Then, he heard Yu Ran ask in a low voice: “How many times a day do you change your underwear?”

Chu Mian subconsciously pretended that he did not hear. “Ah?”

Yu Ran felt that his question was very subtle, and those who understood it would naturally understand it. But unexpectedly, Chu Mian, an adolescent boy, asked him rhetorically: “What do you mean? ”

“It’s… what’s the word that describes what happens during sleep?” Several words appeared in Yu Ran’s mind at once, such as “semen”, “sleep”, “emission”, and “ejaculation”, but he couldn’t find a way to arrange and combine them into the correct name as soon as possible. 

After thinking anxiously for a moment, he had a sudden realization and asked Chu Mian in a straightforward way: “Do you usually lay a lot of eggs?”

Chu Mian murmured in surprise, “I don’t have that function.”

“Really?” Yu Ran quickly glanced at Chu Mian’s school uniform pants. “You can hold it in. No wonder it’s so big.”

Chu Mian just wanted to try to adjust his thinking to the same frequency as Yu Ran. As a result, he heard Yu Ran hum and smile: “Alas, it’s just false prosperity.”