53 The Life Story
Nivritti was fuming with anger. Kyung-Soo was being invasive, and she was not at all liking it. She ran away from India to avoid all the stares, all the questions, all the concerns but here Kyung-Soo was asking her to relive all the painful memories and she was not ready to do that.
“Oh my God, NK! Stop it,” she shouted at him.
“No, I am not leaving,” he shouted back.
Smoke came out of her ears, and she shrieked, “you really need to stop behaving like a stubborn child. Get up!”
The word ‘child’ blew Kyung-Soo’s gasket. He grabbed her hand forcefully and pulled her closer making her sit next to him. He immediately placed his hand over her neck and brought her face closer to him. She could see the anger in his eyes. The soft expression that she saw every time was gone. Something hurt and angry was staring at her.
“Child? Stubborn child? A mere gap of five years makes me a child? This age difference is okay if the man is older but not okay when the girl is older. You hypocrite! No, I know you made this rule of age difference after you got your heart broken. I just want to know why you won’t give me a chance.”
He closed his eyes and when he opened them, his kind eyes returned. He tenderly came close to her cheeks and caressed them with his cheeks. Nivritti shivered after experiencing his delicate touch. “Do you have any idea how badly it hurts every time when you say nothing can happen between us? It breaks my heart into million pieces.”
He was pouring his heart out seriously and wanted Nivritti to understand his emotions, but a devilish smile appeared on her face, and she covered her mouth with her hand. She tried hard but could not control her laughter. The moment he saw that she was laughing at him, hurtfully, he let her go.
But Nivritti never stopped laughing. She kept laughing so hard that she fell from the couch and landed on the floor.
.....
“What?” screamed Kyung-Soo.
“I am sorry, really sorry. He-he... he-he... he-he...” she kept laughing. It was getting hurtful and annoying for Kyung-Soo. He rolled his eyes at her. And then suddenly she stopped laughing. She stood up and stared at Kyung-Soo with all seriousness. One could even say that she was more hurt than Kyung-Soo.
She clenched her teeth and sneered, “that’s what heartbreak is for you. Huh...” she shook her head and scoffed. “You... have... no... idea... what... heart... break... means.” Her voice started breaking up. Drops of tears started appearing in her eyes. Kyung-Soo now realised that she started laughing as she had no idea how to express herself. She heard about heartbreak, and she burst out laughing. But what she was really feeling was way opposite. She continued, “you have... not even... felt 0.000001% of pain... that comes... with heartbreak.”
But he knew heartbreak was. His relationship, his breakup was public affair. How was it possible that she never heard about it? But all he could think about was the tears in her eyes. He could not see her crying. He lowered his head and quietly answered, “I know what heartbreak is.”
“No, no, you don’t,” cried Nivritti. “You don’t know how it feels to get your heart ripped out by the person you trusted most in the world. You don’t know how it feels to be betrayed by the person you love most. You spend years of your life together and one day suddenly everything ends, everything. You are ready to give your life to that person, but you were never his priority. You wish for happiness but every day, every minute of your relationship you spend crying. You fight with your family for that person, but he never thinks that you are worth fighting for. He is jealous of your achievements, the whole world is praising you, but he gives you the silent treatment. And when he loses his job, you support him for months but in the end, he leaves you alone, gets married without even saying a word. He gets you pregnant but is not ready to support or raise the child with you, so you have... have to get an abortion,” she broke down and tears started streaming down her face.
Kyung-Soo ran to her and enclosed her in his arms. But he opened the floodgate. She continued, “after getting the abortion you are so angry at him that you go and cheat on him. But he is so busy that he won’t even hear about your infidelity. Have you, have you experienced all that, NK? I have. I have.” Kyung-Soo tightened his grip over her and held her tighter. “I have tried for years to forget about everything, but I don’t know if I can,” she kept sniffling. Her whole body was shaking violently due to her bawling.
Kyung-Soo lowered his hands and lifted her into his arms. She sat on the couch with Nivritti in his lap. She wrapped her arms around her neck and hid her face in his chest. For almost half an hour, she kept crying her eyes out. His soft, cashmere shirt was as usual comforting. But now it was all wet with her tears. Seeing her crying, he too could not control his tears and silently kept crying with her.
The emotions with which she told him everything, broke his heart. He never thought that her past could be this tragic. She not only had to suffer heartbreak but also had to deal with an unsupportive boyfriend, she had to face an abortion, she had to face a betrayal. This small girl in his arms had to endure such hardships.
Every girl dream of a fairy tale romance where the boy would sweep her off her feet but hers was a horror story where she was the mature one and had to deal with a child. A literal bulb lit over Kyung-Soo’s head. He now understood why she was so adamant about the age factor. She already dealt with a child and does not want to deal with the same situation again.
He realised that somehow, she was right. As in his case, he never again wanted to date a model, the same way she didn’t want to date a man who was younger than her. He felt her pain now.
He didn’t ask anything more from her. He just let her sit in his lap sobbing on his chest. It is said that it is difficult to forget first love, and if that love is so heart-wrenching, it is impossible to forget. That’s why she completely closed her heart.
Nivritti kept sobbing but was feeling secure in his arms. She didn’t want him to let go. Maybe it was the shirt or the warmth emanating from his body, but she was slowly calming down. Her whole life story was flashing before her eyes.
Kyung-Soo turned to look at her to make sure she had stopped crying. At the same moment, Nivritti opened her eyes and looked at him. Their eyes met. The time stopped. Her red eyes and red nose made his heart beat faster. He remembered the first moment he saw her cute face and kissed her. He knew kissing her at this moment would be wrong. All he could do now was be there for her, be a shoulder for her to cry on.
Nivritti looked at him and realised that she was in his arms. Not only in his arms but also sitting on his lap. She immediately removed her arms from around his neck and stood up with a jerk. Kyung-Soo’s hands froze in their original position and gasped when he realised that she broke the embrace.
She could not look at him after telling him her life story. In her eyes, she was a cheater, a killer, a criminal and had no strength to look his way. She wiped her tears and before she could move away, Kyung-Soo grabbed her hand and stopped her from running away.
He stood up, faced her and asked, “are you okay?”
“No,” sobbed Nivritti.
“Come with me,” he started pulling her and took her to her balcony. He made her stand next to the railing and wiped her tears. “You need fresh air. Fresh air makes you feel light.”
She closed her eyes, lifted her head and inhaled deeply but again contorted her face and started crying.
Kyung-Soo grabbed her shoulders and assured her, “hey! Hey! Hey! Please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.” He again pulled her closer and hugged her.
“Please don’t be so kind to me. I deserve punishment,” sobbed Nivritti.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I told you what I did. I must never be forgiven,” she cried.
“You see yourself as guilty that’s why you never allow anyone to treat you with kindness, that’s absurd,” he rebuked.
“I just told you the synopsis of my story. You don’t know the whole story,” she sniffled.
“I am here for you, even if it takes the whole night. If you want someone to judge you, I will be there, if you want someone to treat you right, I will be there. If you want someone to hear you out, I will be there. Even if you want someone to just sit silently with you the whole night, I will be there. I am going nowhere, Ritti.”
“Fine! Then hear this...”