CH 13

She read that last line several times, not quite daring to believe it.

Eight weeks had already passed since his departure.

After climbing into her bed, she tossed and turned repeatedly. Although her face was nestled against her pillow, no matter what she did, she could not sleep. So, she decided simply to turn on her beside lamp, and lying in her bed on her stomach, she began to work on her physics practice tests.

Shen Yao was already ready to head to bed, but seeing her suddenly invigorated, she thought that physics had tortured Tong Yan until it had transformed into a compulsive obsession for her. “Don’t scare me, Yan Yan. It’s only midterms right now and you’ve already gone mad?”

Tapping her pencil against her cheek, Tong Yan replied, “I’m guessing I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

The person below her bed did not understand what she was saying, and only she, looking at her practice tests, had a wide grin across her face.

Her physics midterm was scheduled for Wednesday, during the evening study time.

Because it was only a midterm examination, the monitoring of it was not very strict. With a stack of examination papers in her arms, Zhao Yin had the students, beginning from the front row, take one and pass the rest back. Tong Yan was sitting in the last row, and listening to the moans and sighs rising up from in front of her in the classroom, she took the last examination paper being handed to her.

Perhaps it was truly because she was re-taking it for the fourth time, or maybe as a result of Zhao Yin and Gu Pingsheng’s tutoring last semester, the problems looked relatively easy to her. She spread open the test paper on her desk and was about to begin answering the problems when her mobile phone suddenly began ringing.

She had been so focused on the exam questions she had forgotten to turn off her phone.

It was an unfamiliar number, and she had a moment of hesitation. The people in the rows ahead had already turned and were looking around, curious as to who would so boldly dare to blatantly turn on a mobile phone during an examination.

“Before the start of an exam, everyone’s mobile phones must be turned off.” Zhao Yin stepped over to her from the podium. “That is an examination rule.”

Tong Yan did not dare delay any longer and powered-off her phone.

“Teacher Zhao, I’m sorry.” She hurriedly explained, “It’s shut off now.”

Zhao Yin picked up her phone, glanced over it, and, after determining that it had indeed been turned off, stated, “Next time, do not violate the rules of the examination room.” Upon saying this, she picked up the phone and brought it up with her to the podium. “I’ll keep it here with me for now. When class is over, come get it.”

Without saying a word, Tong Yan lowered her head and continued looking over the exam paper.

Problem after problem, Tong Yan worked hard to concentrate on answering each one of them. Still, she could not help thinking of that phone call. Calls from unknown phone numbers such as this one were usually out-of-the-blue telemarketing calls, but for some reason, this particular time, she was getting a bad premonition from it … Unconsciously, she twirled her pen between her fingers, feeling somewhat disconcerted.

It was fortunate that this exam paper truly was not difficult.

When it was nearly time for all papers to be handed in, she at last set her pencil down.

Zhao Yin’s head was down as she flipped through the dozen or so test papers that had already been handed in, and with pen in hand, she was already beginning to mark them there on the spot. As Tong Yan handed her own papers over, she purposely slowed her action and said in a quiet voice, “Teacher Zhao, I’m handing in my test now … May I have my phone back?”

Zhao Yin looked at her for several seconds until finally, she lowered her head again, browsing through her test paper as she answered, “Go ahead, take it.”

Outside the examination room, some students who had just finished the exam were gathered together, comparing their answers. Seeing Tong Yan step out, they kindly asked if she wanted to join in and figure out her own test score. Tong Yan raised her mobile phone and wagged it in a gesture that indicated she was in a rush to make a phone call.

The examination room was in the Upper Building, and at this time of day, the people in the building were all those who had just finished class.

She strode through the crowds of people and followed the stairwell down until she walked up beside a vending machine. At last, somebody on the other end picked up the call.

“Yan Yan?”

It was a voice that did not sound too familiar. It should be someone she knew, but she could not really think of whom it might be.

“It’s me, Auntie Liu. We met before, in your home this last winter break.”

“Auntie Liu?” She finally placed the voice. It was that surgeon who worked at Peking Union Hospital, the person who had told her about the connection between Gu Pingsheng and the SARS outbreak. “Sorry about that. I was in an exam just now.”

“It’s no problem. Actually, it was only because I was unable to reach your parents that I contacted you.” On the other end, Auntie Liu’s voice seemed to echo out in an open space, causing it to sound especially clear and calm. “Do you have any way of contacting your parents?”

“My parents …” Tong Yan had a slight sinking feeling as she answered vaguely, “They’re not very easy to get ahold of. If there’s anything urgent, you can tell me.”

“You’re so far away, over in Shanghai, and there are some things that you shouldn’t be the one who is informed of them. But, Yan Yan, you’re twenty-one now, and it’s better anyway if you have a clear understanding of what is going on in your family.” Auntie Liu’s voice deliberately became gentler. “Last month, your grandmother went for a physical check-up. I have now received the report with a confirmed diagnosis. It’s breast cancer. I have not told your grandmother yet about the news that it is confirmed. Don’t feel too much pressure on yourself. Find your parents and have them come take care of your grandmother. We’ll take this one step at a time. Cancer is not that terrible a disease.”

In an instant, Tong Yan felt as if she had lost all ability to speak.

Auntie Liu continued talking to her, using language that was simple and easy to understand, half of which were words of comfort while the other half were about the arrangements that were to follow.

It just so happened that when she hung up the phone, an evening class in a large lecture hall had just finished.

More than two hundred people walked out, laughing and joking. A few girls strode up next to the vending machine, and talking back and forth with one another, they looked through the glass and selected the drinks they wanted. Tong Yan was standing beside them, watching vacantly as they inserted their coins and a drink fell down in response.

After the loud banging had finished sounding out, one of the girls smiled at her, “We’re good now. You go ahead.”

Tong Yan did not move, nor did she utter a sound.

The stream of people gradually subsided from being a great mass to having less and less people, until finally, there were only a few stragglers remaining.

Leaning against the side of the vending machine, she called her home telephone number. Following what seemed like an endless ringing tone, a familiar voice echoed out from within her phone. “Hello, may I ask who is calling?”

She gripped her mobile phone and addressed the other end. “Grandmother.”

The entire telephone conversation was only three or four minutes. She merely said nonchalantly that she had just finished her midterm examinations and could take advantage of the time during the May Day break[1] to go home.

Grandmother could not conceal her happiness at this, but still, she urged Tong Yan to not waste the money on train fare. Feeling slightly relieved that she was unable to hear anything odd in Grandmother’s words, Tong Yan gave her a vague excuse that she had gotten a scholarship and could afford the cost of the train ticket.

Possibly because the news had come so suddenly, by the time she walked back to her dormitory, she had already calmed down.

Lu Bei’s mother had also had breast cancer in the past and Tong Yan had stayed by his side all that time, so she more or less understood some things.

The first thing was money. Regardless of whether it was for traditional Chinese herbs and medicine or chemotherapy, she first needed money.

That entire process was like a bottomless pit. Tens of thousands of yuan worth of medication would be consumed within two to three weeks.

And then, there must be someone who could stay and provide care from beginning to end.

Sitting on a chair, she sorted everything out in her mind while staring unseeingly at her computer screen.

Numerous windows, one upon another, were open on her desktop, all containing various types of information: the cost of pre-owned properties in Beijing, all sorts of information on breast cancer, and even many people’s journals of their fight against cancer.

When Shen Yao finished her very lengthy, sweet, long-distance telephone call and saw the look on Tong Yan’s face, she was somewhat perplexed. “Tong Yan Wuji, what’s wrong with you?”

She looked back at Shen Yao. “I need to request to temporarily suspend my schooling or maybe just forsake my grades for this term.”

Shen Yao’s expression instantly froze. “Yan Yan, you really are pregnant?”

The complicated background of this situation was not something she could clearly describe, so she could only provide a vague explanation.

However, in this moment, no matter how she had mentally prepared herself, she still wanted to discuss it with someone, even if that simply meant pouring out all of her thoughts and ideas at once …

Dropping her head down, she leaned her forehead against the edge of the desk. “Something really serious has happened in my family, and I must go back home. I only have Maritime Law and physics this semester … Do you think I should just directly put in a request to take a leave from my schooling, or something else?”

“Don’t scare me.” Shen Yao pulled a chair over and sat down close beside her. “Is there anything I can do to help? Is it really that serious? There’s only another half a semester and then we’ll have no more classes. What kind of situation would need you to go back to Beijing for so long? Your parents can’t take care of it?”

Tong Yan gave an “mm.”

From when she had filled in her own forms stating her preference of schools for high school, she knew that she must increasingly face more and more problems alone …

But … it seemed like these sorts of things were coming at her too frequently.

Without any warning, her eyes entirely blurred over, and tears started to spill continuously from them.

At first, Shen Yao did not notice, and only after she had asked a couple more questions did she realize that Tong Yan’s leg was damp. Pulling her up for a look, she discovered that Tong Yan’s face was already completely covered in moisture and her tears were flowing relentlessly, though no sounds of cries or sobs came from her.

Seeing her like this, Shen Yao was genuinely alarmed now.

Stumblingly, she consoled her for a long time, but it was to no avail and all she could do was continuously hand tissues to her. “Yan Yan, when you’re done having a good cry, tell me what is wrong, okay? We can figure it out together …”

Tong Yan yanked out handful after handful of tissues and her eyes were swollen from being wiped, but gradually, her emotions began to settle down. “What do you think if I request to suspend my schooling?”

This time, Shen Yao did not joke with her and very seriously contemplated the question. “Suspending your schooling is a possibility, but I feel it’s not worth it. You’re not like me. I have four courses this semester, but you only have two left. I mean, if we put it bluntly, there are some courses where many people don’t even attend a single class, and in the end, as long as they pass their exam, they’re fine … Suspending your schooling is too drastic. If you honestly need to go home for half a semester, you might as well just discuss with those two teachers. See if they will release you to leave for half a term but come back at the end to take your final exam.”

Shen Yao’s words were very good counsel.

Tong Yan lowered her head and pondered on this. Perhaps, this truly was a good approach.

She did not speak anymore.

Shen Yao prattled on and on for a while to comfort her, but unable to find the heart of the issue, she also did not dare say much more. Her mind was finally set somewhat at ease when she saw Tong Yan open up her email inbox, and rising to her feet, she stated, “If there’s anything I can help with, you must make sure to let me know. If you’re scared of talking to your two teachers, I’ll go with you.”

Tong Yan answered with an “mm,” and hugging Shen Yao’s waist, she rubbed her face against her friend’s clothing. “Don’t worry. I definitely won’t be shy with you.”

“You don’t worry, either. When Teacher Gu comes back, I will make him pay me back with interest.”

Shen Yao had purposely mentioned Gu Pingsheng to try to cheer her spirits a little. Tong Yan understood her intention, but hearing his name spoken right now only caused her heart to sink even more.

After Shen Yao left to get some hot water and bathe, she at last opened her email inbox and stared vacantly at the “0 New Messages” prompt. Another dozen or so minutes passed before she shut down her email again, found Gu Pingfan’s number in her phone, and dialed it.

The call was answered very quickly, and Pingfan’s voice, which had been deliberately made very quiet, came through. “Yan Yan?”

“Mm-hmm.” Tong Yan stepped out onto the patio, observing the passersby outside as she said, “I’m calling you so late at night … Actually, there really isn’t anything the matter. I haven’t received any emails from him these last two days, so I’m just a little worried.”

Underneath the glow of the streetlamps, there were two couples.

They were not far from each other, but neither pair disturbed the other. Both couples were holding hands, nestled together and whispering in one another’s ear.

An ordinary night. Ordinary, enviable campus romances.

“Wait a moment.” After Pingfan said this, there was a long, blank period. Tong Yan seemed to hear the sound of a door being closed. “I’m right by his side. He’s doing fine. Do you have email? I’ll secretly send you some photos.”

Following along with what she said , Tong Yan stated her email address to her.

It seemed it was not a convenient time for Gu Pingfan to talk for she gave only a very brief description of his current condition and situation and, in a very gentle voice, instructed that she must relax and not stress. By the time Tong Yan slid open the door and walked from the patio back into her room, there was already a new email in her inbox.

To her surprise, it was a video. Or more precisely, it was a still scene taken in video form.

In a rather dim hospital room, he lay on a bed, sleeping.

From the angle of the person taking the video, a set of white blinds could be seen covering a window, and the brighter slivers of light shining in there cast an especially tranquil atmosphere over the entire picture.

As she gazed upon it, there seemed almost to be the illusion that she, herself, was inside the picture, and she could not help carefully controlling her breathing, for fear that she might wake him.

The surroundings were very easy to identify. He should be in the hospital. Had he finished his surgery? Or had he just been admitted into the hospital and preparing for surgery? The more she guessed, the more agitated her heart felt. In the end, she could only use Gu Pingfan’s words to comfort herself.

Relax and do not stress. Only when she did not allow stress to overtake her could she first take care of everything that was happening here.

The following day, Shen Yao purposely accompanied her to the Physics Building.

Inside Zhao Yin’s office, there were many students from the Department of Physics, so the two of them stood outside and waited for a long while before the office was finally empty of other people.

“Do you need me to go in with you?” Shen Yao asked her softly.

Tong Yan shook her head. “There’s definitely nothing good about this sort of thing. Just wait for me outside.”

From when she knocked on the door and went in to when she stepped out again at the end, only a dozen or so minutes in total had elapsed.

Shen Yao had been pacing back and forth over the same spot as she waited, and when she saw Tong Yan emerge, she hurriedly grabbed her arm and began asking how everything had gone. Tong Yan had not quite recovered herself yet as she answered, “She agreed to it. She said, since I had already taken three semesters of this course and also scored higher than eighty percent on my midterm, I shouldn’t have any real problems with the final exam.”

“Just like that, she agreed?”

“Just like that.”

Shen Yao gawked disbelievingly at her. She nodded in affirmative, confirming the authenticity of this.

Initially, when she stepped through the door, she had not held out much hope. Zhao Yin thought she had come to inquire about her mark and had quickly handed her exam paper to her. Eighty-one percent. That was absolutely a record-breaking moment in history.

Unfortunately, Tong Yan had not felt any sort of excitement at this, and while Zhao Yin was still describing in a warm voice where her mistakes had arisen, she had tentatively explained her purpose for coming.

Zhao Yin had not expected that she would suddenly make this request. To a teacher, such a request was rather unreasonable.

Tong Yan hesitated at first but still told her the real reason behind it.

However, that reason by itself was woefully riddled with flaws. It was an elder two generations removed who had fallen sick with a serious illness. Why would she have to return home? And furthermore, even if she did go back for this, simply visiting should be adequate; why would she need to stay and provide long-term care while the elder was in the hospital? Most people would ask all those questions in succession, but surprisingly, Zhao Yin had not inquired further.

“TK and I are friends of many years. If there is anything you need help with, feel free to tell me at any time.” Zhao Yin wrote down her mobile phone number and gave it to her. “Before he left, he talked to me. While I do not support romantic relationships between a teacher and a student, as his friend, I still wish happiness upon the two of you.”

With her hands in her pockets, Tong Yan walked out of the Physics Building amid Shen Yao’s string of incredulous sighs.

The first level of Lianhua Supermarket was comprised wholly of stalls selling different snack foods, and Shen Yao deliberately dragged her over there to buy two egg-filled flatbreads[1] to eat as their breakfast. Since it was raining outside, there were a lot less people buying breakfast today, and Tong Yan and Shen Yao stood beside the little stall, eating their food while taking shelter from the rain.

鸡蛋灌饼 Egg-filled flatbread (image credit)

“Yan Yan, does Beijing have egg-filled flatbreads?” Shen Yao suddenly felt sad and sentimental.

“Don’t know. It should, I would think.” She thought for a moment before saying, “I’ve been gone for nearly three years, and every time I go back, it’s not for very long, so I’ve never really paid any attention to that.”

After this semester was over, it was a one-year internship term.

Undoubtedly, she would not be staying here in Shanghai for her internship, which meant that, once she left this time, aside from coming back for final examinations … they really did not have much time together anymore.

“I think you need to thank me.” Chomping down on her flatbread, Shen Yao stated in a voice made indistinctive because of the food, “I’ve decided I will go listen to the physics lectures and take notes for you. Do you know what a hard decision that was for me? Back then, I barely passed, too, with my mark of sixty-something percent. Definitely a nightmare for me.”

Tong Yan broke out into amused giggles.

Teachers tended to take more care of their own students from their faculty, and coupled with the help of one of the administrative teachers, she basically also received an exception for Maritime Law and was granted the opportunity to still take the final examination.

When she returned to her dormitory room that afternoon, she began packing her belongings. After everything had been placed into the boxes, the only item remaining was his computer. Worried that it would get bumped and jostled, she planned on putting it into her schoolbag and carrying it with her.

Sitting down in her chair, she, out of habit, opened her email inbox and surprisingly discovered that she had received an email from him.

Right now where he was, it should be very late at night …

Yan Yan:

Yesterday, I went back to Penn and saw my old university. It stirred in me very particular feelings.

After you graduate, I’ll bring you here for a look. The University of Pennsylvania is located in the city centre of Philadelphia. Transportation is very convenient, and it’s really close to New York and Washington, D.C. How about we make Penn the first stop on our honeymoon trip?

I am doing very well. Everything is well with me.

—-TK

There unexpectedly was a video attached in the email.

Tong Yan clicked on it to open it.

In an unnamed square, he stood, arms folded across his chest, in front of a fountain as he stared at some Gothic architecture not far away. The camera was very shaky, and she surmised that Gu Pingfan had wanted to speak to him so she had jogged over until she was directly in front of him.

When he saw the camera, he realized that Pingfan was recording him and was somewhat taken aback. Then, very slowly, a smile spread across his face.

“TK, hurry and say something to your wife,” a voice offscreen urged him.

Because they were by a fountain, the loud noise of flowing water filled the video.

In the picture on her screen, his hair was slightly longer than before and a smile was on his face. The gushing column of water, the dazzling sunshine — all of these beguiled the heart and mind. As a result of Pingfan’s request, he began to seriously muse for a moment.

And then, he soon bent his arms so that, ever so casually, they formed a heart shape above his head.

Offscreen, Pingfan’s shouts of “Oh my Lady Gaga[2],” were sounding out incessantly. Presumably because she had never before seen Gu Pingsheng do such a thing, Pingfan was nearly going crazy …

Tong Yan sat on her chair as if in a state of shock from the picture she was seeing, and only when the video had come to an end and the screen had turned black did she gradually begin to hear her own heart again. Clear and slow, aching dully. All the feelings of yearning for and missing him these last two months were drawn up out of her by this single action of his.

Inside the video, he was handsome and healthy and possessed all that was beautiful and good.

Perhaps this had been recorded a month ago, perhaps a dozen or so days ago. She did not know, but she did know with certainty that it was not yesterday. She stared at that video and for the longest time, did not re-watch it until at last, she closed the computer and packed it into her schoolbag.

In those days after returning to Beijing, everything was hectic and urgent, as if she was fighting a war, and moved at a breakneck pace.

First, using all possible reasons and arguments, she managed to completely persuade Grandmother to accept the advised treatment of surgical removal. Then, it was scrambling to sell their home and rent a new place to stay for them. In a single month, she learned nearly all the skills that were required to survive, all those things that were not often learned in a school setting. Fortunately, Grandmother’s former student was helping them so she was not too overwhelmed by all those matters regarding the hospital and medical treatment.

Worried that moving would be too much trouble, she had rented an apartment in the building next door to their old home, and all the smaller items, she had moved over herself, one trip at a time. When it was time to move the larger pieces of furniture, she hired a moving company to move everything else all in one go and asked two of her high school classmates to help keep an eye on things.

That afternoon, after everything had been moved but the apartment was still not cleaned up and organized, she hurriedly raced off to the hospital.

When she arrived at the hospital, many of the other patients’ family members were also there. Lively conversation could be heard as everyone carried out idle chitchat.

Those who were staying in this section were all oncology patients, and they were exchanging their knowledge and experience about various illnesses they had heard of as well as some they had not heard of.

Apart from returning home to shower and change her clothing, most of Tong Yan’s time was spent in the hospital, and hence, she was rather well acquainted with these people. Occasionally, someone would ask her why her parents had not come all this time, and she would only give a vague response.

Eventually, people gradually stopped asking.

Since renting the apartment, she would use the time that she was outside buying dinner to go online at a nearby Internet café.

Shen Yao every time would send her an electronic version of the class notes and would always include a joking sentence or two, saying things like she was not even this diligent when it came to her own classes. Gu Pingsheng, as before, would send her an email every two or three days, but never in any of them would he talk about his medical condition and recovery.

And every time she replied, she would also only write things along the lines of, the weather was getting hotter, her schoolwork was really light and easy, or similar. Privately, though, she kept a diary of everything that had happened over these last several months, and when he returned, she planned to pull it out to show him and say, “Look how strong and positive a person Mrs. Gu is.”

In mid-June, Shen Yao began reminding her that her physics final examination would be taking place in July.

By the time she hung up the phone, the pressure cooker inside the kitchen was already letting out a high-pitched whistle. Dashing back in, she shut off the burner. As she looked out the window at the white poplar tree outside with its wide, leafy branches, she,in an instant, felt as if she had traveled through time.

How had time passed so quickly? In the blink of an eye, it was going to be July.

“Yan Yan?” Grandmother shakily walked into the kitchen. “Do you need to have a nap?”

“No, it’s okay.” She turned around and set the pressure cooker down on the floor, planning on taking the stewed pig trotters out from it. “After I finish preparing these trotters for you to eat, I’m going to go do some practice problems.” Zhao Yin had kindly granted her an exception by giving her the chance to still write the final examination, so even if it was simply out of thankfulness to her, she should make sure she achieved a good grade.

After managing with great difficulty to persuade Grandmother to take an afternoon nap, she returned back to the kitchen and opened the pressure cooker. When the trotters were pulled out, they were so tender the meat was nearly falling apart. She washed her hands and began to carefully separate the parts of the pig’s feet, pulling apart the tendon, meat, and skin and placing them into a small bowl.

She had just finished off one and was about to move her efforts over to the next one when a knock that was neither light nor heavy in its force suddenly sounded at the front door. Worried that it would waken Grandmother, she rubbed her hands hastily on a cloth and jogged over.

While she was pulling open the door, she was thinking that it was likely Auntie Liu and she should ask her about the results from the latest medical examination … But when she saw that person leaning against the side of the door, saw his face that was slightly thinner but still smiling lightly, all of her thoughts completely left her.

And then, she heard him say, “Is it convenient? May I come in?”

Her eyes did not so much as blink as they gazed fixedly at his eyes.

Gu Pingsheng looked her over with a smile, and in a musing voice, he stated, “Mrs. Gu does look prettier when she’s wearing a skirt, especially if it’s a mini-skirt.”

Amid his naughty teasing tone, she finally believed that this sight before her was true.

When she was about to reach her arms forward and slip them around him, she noticed the cane in his right hand, and her heart, which only a moment ago had grown warm, instantly felt cold. “The surgery outcome wasn’t good?”

With a little laugh, he handed the cane to her and explained, “There is no elevator here, so it’s a little strenuous to walk up. In about a month, I won’t need this anymore.”

Tong Yan took it from him and set it against the wall.

The hallway was too narrow, so she could not even support him with her hand and could only watched as he walked in by himself.

From simply observing him right now, it seemed that he was recovering very well.

“Where’s Grandmother?” he asked as he stepped into the living room.

“She’s taking an afternoon nap.” Motioning that he should speak quieter, she brought him into the kitchen.

After pulling the kitchen door closed behind her, she immediately turned and threw her arms around his waist. And then, she felt him return her embrace. In this way, they remained in a lengthy stillness, and as she buried her face into his chest, she heard him say, “I arrived in Beijing this morning, and at midday, I signed the home purchase agreement. It will take a few days to tidy it up and organize it and then we will be able to move in.”

She neither moved nor lifted her head to speak.

She only thought, this feeling was so nice, to have someone take care of everything for you.

He said another few things before silence was restored.

That was, until she tilted her face upwards to gaze at him, and he also lowered his head and looked at her. Tenderly, he brushed his lips against the tip of her nose, then allowed them to continue their way down, but he did not deepen his touch, only ever so gently grazing her lips with his own.

His breath, his smell, these things that she had not experienced for such a long time, now, one inch at a time, were dismantling the anxiousness, disquiet, and fear of these last several months …

The weather in June had already entered into the early stages of summer. They were both dressed very lightly, and because she was inside the home, she was only wearing a short skirt and baggy short-sleeved shirt. His hand was directly against the skin of her arm, but it did not carry the warmth that it should be expected to have in the summer.

Tong Yan touched the back of his hand, then followed it upwards and tentatively tested the temperature of his arm before looking at him uncertainly. “Are you really cold?” Or was it because of his physical condition?

“No.” Clasping her wrist, he lifted it up and examined her hand. “What’s on your hand? It’s sticky.”

“It’s pig trotters.” She brought a bowl over from the stove. “There have been a lot of tests lately where they’re looking for certain indicators and criteria, and there’s one in particular that Grandmother was testing very low in. The doctors said she needed to get shots, but with that specific type of needle, every time they inserted it, it was especially painful … The patient who was sharing the hospital room told me that if you eat a pig trotter a day, that particular measure can go back to normal ranges.” She pinched a small piece between her fingers and fed it to him. “Afterwards, I found out that it really does work.”

Gu Pingsheng chewed it earnestly, as if he was eating an exceptional delicacy.

Her eyes remained on him, not wanting to miss each subtle movement or expression in his eyes.

Was it Heaven watching over them? Grandmother’s surgery had been very successful, and there were no signs of the cancer spreading. And now, he had finally returned as well.

“It’s been a long time since I last ate your cooking,” he said.

Tong Yan pursed her lips. “What would you like to eat? I’ll go buy the ingredients this afternoon and come back and make it for you.”

Before she had finished speaking, he had stretched out his hand and gently taken her chin in his fingers.

“Yan Yan?” Grandmother’s voice was echoing out through the bedroom and kitchen doors, so it was not very distinct.

She gave a cry back in answer, all the while trying to brush his hand away.

Gu Pingsheng did not loosen his hold and only bowed his head, continuing to caress her lips with his, like a child who had just finished eating candy but was insatiable and still greedy for more. Hearing the bedroom door open but unable to break free of his hold, Tong Yan instead brought her face up directly to his and allowed him to take her lips into his own.

A deep kiss that had absolutely no skill or technique involved and was brief, but thorough.

When they broke apart, she gasped a couple of breaths and then immediately pulled out of his arms.

In the same instant, the kitchen door was pushed open and Grandmother poked her head in to take a glance around. A look of surprise flashed across her face. Tong Yan clenched her hands together, so anxious she did not know what to say.

“Little Gu is here?” A smile arose very slowly on Grandmother’s face. It was a moment like the budding flowers in the warmth of spring, like the warm sunshine that was shining outside the window.

He did not show the slightest discomfiture and greeted Grandmother. When the topic of the duration of the final course of chemotherapy was brought up, he even seemed, in a short period of time, to have already from somewhere gained a clear understanding of the condition of Grandmother’s illness … He must have made a trip to the hospital.

That place where he had once had an internship, fought bravely, and also said his final goodbyes to his mother.

After Grandmother went back into her room, Tong Yan reached out a hand and waved it in front of his eyes.

Gu Pingsheng turned back to her. “What’s the matter?”

“How did you know? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back? Was it Pingfan who helped you look for the property? What are you going to do with the one in Shanghai? … Will you still be going back to the university?”

“I’ve already asked some old schoolmates to recommend some appropriate schools, and I will likely still continue being a university professor but in Beijing. You will be coming back here next semester for your internship, and your grandmother also needs someone to take care of her, so it will be better if I stay here in this city. The apartment in Shanghai has already been sold. Pingfan was the one who helped me find this apartment in Beijing. It was a one-time payment in full for the other one, so that was perfect and could be used to purchase the place here in Bejing. Everything went smoothly, and there were no real complications …” As he stood there beside the window, it was uncertain whether it was because he was simply too tired or there were other reasons, but there appeared to be a heavy sense of fatigue in him. “What other questions do you have?”

“There are also the first and second questions …” She reminded him, “How did you know? When did you find out? Why did you suddenly come back without telling me?”

“Last week, Zhao Yin went to the U.S. to attend an academic conference, and she went to visit me.”

Once he gave this one sentence of explanation, she understood.

This place she had rented was a one-bedroom apartment.

Tong Yan could see that he was truly very tired, and therefore told him to go sleep on the couch. Because it was an old-style couch, when he lay down on it, he did not quite fit, but he still soon fell fast asleep.

Tong Yan covered him with a thin blanket and then went to pull out some ingredients from the refrigerator. The fish and meat were placed into the sink to defrost while the remaining items were taken out, picked over carefully, and washed.

Even after all this was finished, he was still sleeping. Propping her chin with her hand, she gazed at him. A face so very close to her that she could even clearly see his eyelashes.

He seemed to want to turn over, and still in a state of slumber, his brows were obviously furrowed into a very uncomfortable expression. While Tong Yan was wavering over whether she should pat him awake, he had already roused.

“Are you feeling pain in your leg? Or in your waist or hip? Or does somewhere else not feel well?” she asked, leaning in close.

Without answering her questions, he sat up from the couch, offhandedly folded the blanket, and motioned for her to sit next to him.

She, however, seemed to suddenly remember something. From a hidden little corner of the kitchen, she dug out a bankbook and handed it to him. “This is the money from selling the apartment and what I’ve been using to pay for Grandmother’s medical expenses. There’s still more than three hundred thousand yuan remaining.”

Taking the bankbook from her, he flipped it open and took a quick glance. “I still have some savings. You don’t have to worry.”

“That’s not what I mean. I want you to help me put the money away. “ She contemplated for a moment and then said in a joking tone, “Put it in your bank account. If it all gets spent, then we have no choice but to rely on you to support the family. If there’s any left over, we’ll consider it as you helping to keep and take care of my grandmother’s retirement money.”

Since Grandmother had fallen sick, her father had only come to visit two or three times.

The time right before the surgery, he had actually been very worried and had truly stayed there for the greater part of the night. When he heard she was going to sell the home, he had been extremely proactive and volunteered his help. At first, she had been quite astonished and was even moved by his actions, thinking, could it be true that love manifests in the hour of need? However, the next time he came, he had begun preparing to allocate where the money from the sale of the apartment would go, based on his own strong ideas.

How much should be invested into the stock market, how much should be put into futures trading, and even how much should be used to play the Welfare Lottery[1]. It was as if money really could grow more money, and nothing would be a problem anymore.

The end result, naturally, was a complete fall out between them. Before her father left, the one sentence he had repeated over and over again was, “I’m going to sue you!”

Fortunately, no matter how she was cursed at, she still tightly guarded this money.

“Would you like me to set-up a joint account?” Gu Pingsheng did not continue pressing her for the reason and handed the bankbook back to her. “We can do it tomorrow?”

“No,” Tong Yan quickly refused, “just put it all under your name.”

Amused, he ruffled the top of her head lightly. “You’re that unaware of protecting yourself?”

Her only thoughts had been on how to use legal loopholes to preserve the money. The thought had never crossed her mind that she should ever have to protect herself as well in front of him.

Indeed, such an answer certainly did not seem like the proper thought process of someone who studied law. Even Shen Yao, such an easygoing and unconcerned person, had very seriously written up a formal contract when she partnered with her boyfriend to open an online shop, and both parties had signed it. They had even agreed that, should they break-up, the girlfriend or boyfriend of either party would not be allowed to become involved in any of the matters of the shop … For this single contract, two law students were in discussion for three or four days. So incredibly prudent and rational.

“Mr. Gu, have you forgotten? Once we go through the official procedures, even the name beside the beneficiary of your life insurance will be mine.” She wagged her right hand to allow him to see her ring.

Without even being conscious of it, she had worn it for so long already. A very shallow imprint from the ring encircled her finger. When she was washing clothes at the hospital, she had been worried that it would fall into the sink and had taken it off for the very first time. That was the first time she saw the mark on her finger.

At the time, the first thought that entered her mind was, “Oh no, if I wear this all the way until I’m fifty, won’t that mean there’s going to be a very obvious mark left behind?”

And so, halfway through washing clothes, she had been embarrassed by her own idea and had lifted her head to look into the mirror with a silly grin.

The next day, Gu Pingsheng accompanied her to take Grandmother to the hospital.

This was the seventh course of chemotherapy and also the final one.

After the series of checks and examinations last time, Auntie Liu had specially requested the chief physician of the department to carefully look over the results and the CT scan. The conclusion had been that the previous courses of treatment had been quite effective. Auntie Liu had also arranged the timing of this particular stay in the hospital. They had just settled down before Gu Pingsheng ran into people he knew.

Or more accurately, many people whom he knew.

When he went to the nurses’ station to look up the examinations that would be occurring the following day, Auntie Liu happened to have just concluded a surgery and hurried over to see Grandmother.

“Yan Yan, I heard just yesterday from the chief physician of the oncology department that Gu Pingsheng specifically contacted him and asked about the specifics of your grandmother’s illness.” With a smile, Auntie Liu stood beside the bed and said, “His mom used to be an associate chief physician of the cardiac surgery department, and he has many old friends in this place. You definitely will even more so be taken good care of now, and I can set my mind at ease.”

She did not know how or what exactly Gu Pingsheng had said since, after all, she had once stated with her own lips that he was her university teacher. Hence, she did not dare speak in much more detail about his matters and only provided a vague response before hastily moving on to another topic.

By the time all the arrangements had been made, Grandmother was already asleep on the hospital bed.

The elderly woman maintained a very healthy schedule and would punctually retire to sleep at 8:30 p.m. However, during the periods of her chemotherapy treatments, she would always be unable to fall asleep for an entire night. Now that she had this opportunity to sleep a little longer, Tong Yan certainly would not wake her, and drawing the curtains closed, she quietly took his hand and left the room with him.

“Let’s go out and walk around?” he asked as they stood in the hallway.

“To where?” Tong Yan did not want to spoil his mood, but she still had to tell him, “I really can’t leave here. I need to stay and keep an eye on things. If you’re tired, how about you go home first and get some sleep?”

Since yesterday when he returned, she could tell that his body had not yet completely recovered.

“I’m okay,” he answered. “There are nurses here. Come out and take a stroll with me. We’ll be back in half an hour, alright?”

She contemplated for a moment. Grandmother had only just begun her stay in the hospital, so there should not be anything too important or urgent yet.

When they stepped out of the hospital together, the night was beginning to fall and it was the liveliest time of day.

Peking Union Medical College Hospital was very close to Oriental Plaza[2] and Wangfujing Street[3]. His pace was not quick, so she also ambled slowly with him. As the two of them strolled along beside the plaza, there were couples carrying shopping bags, tourists wanting to take photographs of the night view of Chang’an Avenue[4], elderly folks out for a walk, and children riding their skateboards and having fun …

Top left: Wangfujing Street at night (image credit). Bottom left: Night view of Chang’an Avenue (image credit)

Despite often being in this vicinity when she accompanied Grandmother for her doctor visits and even having stayed in the hospital for a very long period of time, these last several months, she truly had never relaxedly strolled around here as she was doing tonight.

She had thought that Gu Pingsheng was merely taking leisurely walk or perhaps was reminiscing about this place which had once been so familiar to him. In the end, only after she had followed him into the plaza and was led into a women’s clothing store did she understand that he wanted to buy her clothes.

Walking up alongside a long clothing rack, he had on a rather serious manner as he selected several items and brought them over for her to try.

Tong Yan’s head was swirling from this unexpected act of his as well as the salesgirl’s keenness. Soon, she had tried on two outfits, and while the salesgirl left to go greet some other customers, she finally turned her head to ask him, “Why do you suddenly want to buy clothes for me?”

Leaning back into the black couch that was there for customers take a rest, Gu Pingsheng looked at her in the mirror.

She was currently trying on a pale blue dress, and because she had not worn sandals today, on her feet was a pair of wooden clogs provided by the store for customers to use while trying on clothing. It was a couple sizes too big for her and made her look rather clumsy.

Yet, it also created an inexplicably sweet and dear feeling and a sense that everything was real and tangible.

Seeing that he had not answered, Tong Yan thought he was starting to feel pain again, and striding over so she was in front of him, she crouched down and asked in a quiet voice, “What’s wrong?”

When Gu Pingsheng saw her anxious expression, he understood that she was worried about him and moreover, it was to the point where “every bush and tree looked like an enemy soldier[5]” [plagued with worry over the littlest thing]. A smile finally spread across his lips. “When I was in the U.S., I realized there were many things I had not yet done, for instance, just like right now, keeping you company while you walk around and shop and watching you try on clothes.”

Hearing this, the salesgirl threw a very envious glance in Tong Yan’s direction.

These sort of words in a bystander’s ear sounded like a young girl had found herself a wealthy husband, and what’s more, he was one of those who would get anything she wanted for her and was incredibly loving and doting … But to the person from whom the words had been spoken and the person for whom the words were meant to be heard, they held a completely different meaning.