Chapter 37: Because I Want to Live

Chapter 37: Because I Want to Live

She really shouldve considered him more. Any position with that much prestige, power, and responsibility also carried a significant burden. As much as Tori didnt want Gideon to become the crown prince, she also didnt want to put Piers in a situation that he really didnt want.

He was her friend. She shouldve thought about this more and she was a bit upset at herself for not having done so.

Piers expression didnt change. He looked at her and seemed to think for a moment before he answered. Do you think I am fit to be crown prince?

For a moment, Tori wondered what he heard about himself and if it caused him to doubt his abilities. She wanted to defend him, but that wasnt the question.

Considering his intelligence, which she already knew about; his interest in matters relating to the stability of the empire, which she learned from listening to him talk about his studies; and how well hed been able to execute all the demands shed given him about the delta, she thought he would make a very suitable crown prince.

Her brother was absolutely right and considering the other option, Piers would do a far better job because he was so observant and thought things through. He also wasnt as awkward as she initially thought.

It had taken her a few years of practice to come out of her shell and learn to be social, especially in a professional setting, so she knew it was possible with effort to improve even a little.

But all of that took a back seat to what really mattered.

It doesnt matter if I think youre fit to be crown prince, Tori said in a firm voice. She took a step closer and met his eyes. Do you want to be crown prince?

Piers was quiet. He lowered his eyes. Ive never thought about it.

She wanted to ask how that was possible. He was the first born and had only one other sibling. The position would go to one of them; how could he not have considered it before? Her eyes crinkled up. Did he automatically think that it would go to Gideon?

In the game, if Gideon became the crown prince, then did that mean Piers just let him have it, uncontested, and then disappeared into the background? Her stomach twisted at how unfair it felt. Piers was so much better than his brother and could do so much good. What if in the original game, Gideon just threw all the difficult work to Piers and lived the high life with Alessa?

She could see Gideon doing so and had to fight the urge to want to punch him.

Perhaps her displeasure was too evident on her face, as Piers tentatively touched her hand. I will consider it.

Tori closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If you dont want to do it, dont force yourself. It pained her somewhat to say that, if she were being honest.

Do you think I wouldnt do a good job?

Her eyes snapped open and she frowned. Of course, I think youd do a good job! All twelve marches think youd do a good job. Im sure the Prime Minister thinks youd do a good job.

The corners of his lips curled up a bit and she felt his fingers hold her hands a bit more firmly. Then, I cant let them down, can I?

If you want to hold hands, can it wait until were not in someone elses house? a dull voice asked further down the hall. Tori turned her head and saw Axton approaching them in his usual calm, lazy gait. He motioned his head back. Lord Gyles is asking for Piers. He wants to introduce you to some people.

Piers released her hands and nodded. I will go back. He straightened his back and headed up the hall, towards the dining hall.

Axton moved to the side and watched him go before looking towards Tori. He raised a brow. You asked him if he wants to be crown prince?

Tori tried not to cringe. Is that bad? Axton, who had spent most of his life with Piers, probably knew him better than anyone. And hed tell her the truth.

The knight and aide smirked. No. Im glad someone finally said it. He lifted his hand to pat her head, as he often did, but paused as he remembered her hat. He chuckled and instead put his arm around her shoulder and gave her an affectionate hug. No one ever seems to want to ask him about it. He never showed an interest and if hes not interested, there is no use in changing his mind. Trust me, Ive tried.

Axton, I dont want to put unnecessary pressure on him. She couldnt help but be somewhat worried.

You didnt put any pressure that wasnt already on him. He just ignores it, Axton said. He would be a far better crown prince and emperor than his brother.

But he needs more support doesnt he?

Axton squinted into the distance, as if thinking of it. He nodded. Because he doesnt go to these things, I wouldnt be surprised if most of the nobles and elite of the city don't know what he looks like.

Tori grimaced. He was right. Do you know if most of those people are supporting his brother?

I dont think its really a conscious decision made after careful consideration, Axton said, truthfully. Its more that they know Gideon. He makes his social rounds and is easy to talk to. Not to mention that hes young and easily influenced.

Tori almost wanted to snort at that. Gideon was easily influenced all right. Then, what should Piers do? More social events? Talk more? Both things he didnt seem to be interested in.

Axton shrugged his arm off her shoulder. You need to make them trust him to a certain extent. He threw her a smile and patted her shoulder. Good luck!

Toris eyes widened. Wait, youre not going to help?

I can only do so much, Axton said as he moved his arms helplessly in front of him. Ahead of them, people were starting to walk out of the dining room. My influence is limited.

Sir Nassaun! There you are, my wife and I wanted to know if you are looking to open a new inn in the north. Someone called for him.

Axton pretended to look at a loss before wandering over to a middle-aged couple. Tori gave him a disparaging glare before searching the crowd for Piers. She found him speaking to Lord Gyles and made her way over.

In the end, she didnt reach Piers for at least another thirty minutes. She was intercepted several times by curious people who asked about her store and her Lyce project. Tori didnt know her project in the delta became so well known, but it was clear that many eyes were now on her.

And it made her stomach hurt.

She fell asleep on the way back to Lyce and Axton had to wake her to tell her that they had arrived. Next to him, Piers had also fallen asleep and Tori wondered if he always kept a spider silk eye mask on him during carriage rides. Tori quietly crept out of the carriage so as not to disturb him and then trudged back to her dorm.

Ilyana hadnt returned yet, but Tori eyed the stack of cards on her desk that needed addressing. She took a deep breath and fought her urge to simply lay down on her bed and mentally check out for a few hours. Instead, she changed into a more casual dress and sat down at her desk to write out invitations.

She was nearly done when Ilyana returned.

How was the luncheon? Ilyana asked as she shrugged off her coat and hung it on a wall hook.

It went well. Lord Wolfgang was there and so we talked a bit about how the delta construction is going along, Tori said as she carefully wrote out one last name on the card. When she finished, she moved the card away to let the ink dry and set her brush pen to the side. She turned around in her seat and saw the bag with a rolled-up piece of cloth that reached Ilyanas mid-thigh. Whats that?

The banners for the three-day competition, Ilyana said, proud. Both JP and Sonias were ready, so we picked them up.

That reminds me, we need to buy our tickets to the competition to secure seating, Tori said. It was a few weeks away, but Tori wanted to buy up a space close to the ring so that they could unfurl the banners and not block anyones view. The competition was held at the Imperial Stadium, between the tenth and eleventh districts.

The spare rows of adjacent stables and garrisons would be used to house the horses of competitors while the inns would be taken up by visitors in town for the competition. The stadium was a remnant of ancient times, but continuously in use, so the facilities were well maintained and replaced every few decades.

Tori had yet to see it or the Imperial Arena, but Ilyana, who had gone with Sonia and JP during winter break, told her it was huge. Taking that into consideration, Tori and Ilyana ordered the largest signs they could.

Where do you want to go for dinner tonight?

Lets go to Azul, Tori said. I want something big and filling. The post is also close by and I need to mail off the invitations.

Ill call the others to see if they want to come, Ilyana said.

Call Ewan and Albert, too. You know they complain when we go out without them, Tori said as she began to stuff envelopes. She shook her head. Even when theyre not on campus.

Ilyana dutifully called everyone. Henrik was reviewing some papers and said hed meet them at the restaurant. Sonia didnt pick up, but JP did and said theyd be a few minutes late, but would see them there. Albert had dinner plans with his family and Ewan was babysitting and couldnt come.

An hour or so after sunset, the two collected the invitations and headed out, chattering about what to serve at the prototype exhibition and the release party. The prototype exhibition invited very few people: Toris aunt and uncle, Princess Vivian, Madam Martin, Madam Guthry, and Henriks parents.

It was meant to show them the samples and allow them to pre-order the goods to their measurements. Readymade clothing for the populace wasnt new, but it wasnt popular as no one wanted to make clothing and waste materials if it wasn't going to sell. Most commoners stitched their own clothing or altered existing ones, such as hand-me-downs. The wealthy had their clothes made by professionals.

Unless there was a specific niche market they were catering to where the garments could be uniform and would be purchased no matter what, it wasnt common. Most clothing shops were basically tailors and orders had to be put in.

Lions Gate had a few readymade items on hand, but customers were encouraged towards, and almost always ended up, having the readymade garments tailored inhouse or ordered custom garments based on a pre-existing design they were able to see and feel. This helped lessen the amount of waste material from unsold racks of readymade garments and increased the relationship between the store and the customer.

In Lions Gate East, where the target market was less wealthy, customers would buy the readymade garments and alter them at home. The more complicated and difficult work had already been done for them. All they had to do was take in some excess cloth that could later be taken out if needed.

Tori wanted to leverage this flexibility and speed. There were plenty of excellent tailors and workshops willing to work with them. Several exceptional tailors were on a recommendation list at Lions Gate High Street that Manager Dolores would let customers select from for more detailed work.

The first time Axton remembered meeting Piers; they were about four years old. His mother was sick and sent him to his godmother, the empress, while she was trying to recover. Imperial guards had brought him to the empress, who was pregnant with Gideon, and she happily took him to meet the first prince.

Piers was in the great library, sitting alone at a table, on a cushioned chair that had a step stool next to it so he could climb up. His hair was long at the time, and at first, Axton thought he was a girl. He was not, but Piers never seemed to hold the mistake against him. Axton always felt that Piers was a very relaxed individual, as long as one was patient and didnt mind that he didnt really act his age.

Piers liked to read and study. He would hear things over dinner about policies or people or random topics pertaining to the empire that his parents would talk about, and hed immediately go and find out more and would not stop until his curiosity was satisfied. No one knew how long that would take. He didnt like loud places. He didnt like to be dirty. He didnt like to be touched.

He was a bit difficult to play with, if one asked Axton.

Worried that Piers would become unhealthy with his sedentary lifestyle coupled with the rich food he was fed at the palace, Mama J had encouraged Axton to play with Piers outside. At first, Piers resisted. It took weeks of scheduled play dates to finally get Piers to spend longer periods of time outside, which was usually some form of adventure seeking game where they were pretending to be treasure hunters in a dungeon.

On one such outing, Axton had gone to their usual playhouse in the garden, which was a small fortress shaped like the one in Presidio. He waited for hours, or what felt like hours to a five-year-old, before he finally marched all the way back to the palace to try to find Piers. He didnt have to look far.

In one of the large courtyards, Piers was watching his visiting uncle, then Major General von Schwert, do an exhibition match with the Guevera March heir said to be the most promising swordsman of their generation. So impacted by the match was he, that Piers immediately asked his parents for lessons.

Of course, a child who hardly went outside and read books in a library the entire day didnt have the physical strength or stamina to do the impressive movements of the Major General. This had disheartened Piers immensely, and Axton tried to do his best to encourage him, even taking up the sword with him so he had someone to practice with.

For about another year, Piers only took at it half-heartedly and even then, Axton thought it was because he was having so much fun learning swordsmanship that Piers became the one accompanying him. Piers never said he was, he only continued to attend the scheduled classes without a word.

Axton was happy that he and his friend were playing, but the happiest people were the empress and Mama J, who were relieved to see Piers socializing, even if it was just with Axton. The empress thought that Piers was coming out of his shell and got him etiquette tutors to learn not only how to behave at various engagements, but to urge him to become more social.

Axton also had his fair share of etiquette classes, but since he was far more extroverted to begin with, his classes werent as long. It bothered him that Piers was forced to be more outgoing and social when he was clearly uncomfortable and didnt want to, but Piers had agreed to the classes, so he couldnt protest much.

For a while, Piers truly was talking more and greeting people with words rather than a vague nod of his head. His parents and Mama J were excited at the change and encouraged him to spend more time with other people and to give them a chance. They had good intentions.

Then, Piers was accosted during his little brothers second birthday celebration. Axton couldnt help but feel that if he had been a few seconds late, the two women trying to force a resisting six-year-old Piers into an empty room wouldve done more than just pull his arm and tell him about the new books they brought with them.

At the time, Axton was too young to understand what those two women were trying to do, but he knew it was bad. He ran into the room theyd pulled Piers into, and put himself between them and Piers.

Piers doesnt like loud people! he had said, being loud himself. Leave him alone!

The two women stammered that they had done nothing wrong. They claimed Piers clothing was stained and they were trying to clean it for him, which had nothing to do with the books he heard them talking about.

Axton had immediately yelled for Mama J, saying that Piers nanny could take care of it.

There was a large commotion after that and Axton only knew that he never saw those two women again and that Mama J was crying. The empress stopped making Piers go to etiquette classes and eventually allowed him to do what he wanted.

The reason Piers had been lured away in the first place was because Piers was trying to be more social at his brothers celebration, as he had been taught. He was told to give people a chance by people he trusted, and so he did. He was lured out of the ballroom by promises of books that interested him, but it wasnt until he got into the secluded hall and that empty room that he became too uncomfortable and finally voiced that he wanted to return to the celebration.

The women grew more aggressive and physical.

After the incident, Piers refused to interact with nearly everyone, and Axton was heartbroken that such a thing happened to him. He wished he had stayed with Piers the entire time instead of running around the ballroom and sneaking for sweets in the kitchen.

If he had stayed with Piers, then Piers wouldnt have been lured away. Feeling both helpless and guilty, Axton had wandered around outside Piers room for days before running into Major General von Schwert again.

It is about time for someone to train to become Piers personal knight and aide, he said. Axton, youre quite skilled with a sword. Do you want to try?

It would give him an excuse to always be with his friend and better yet, he could protect Piers. Axton readily agreed to train to become Piers personal knight and aide. At the age of eight, he was spending more time at the palace than at the Alvere Duchy. He had already begun to think about speaking to his parents, particularly his mother, about moving into the palace permanently to accompany Piers and train.

He never had a chance to.

His mother died and before she did, his fathers mistress and their son had already moved into Sun Garden, his familys ancestral estate. He was furious, but a helpless child could do nothing.

On the day of his mothers funeral, the empress herself, red-eyed and overflowing with grief and fury, accompanied by what seemed like an entire battalion of imperial knights, came to Sun Garden. As per the late duchess will, which the duke did not know there were three identical copies of and hed only managed to alter one, the empress took everything of any worth from Sun Garden and locked it up in a treasury vault.

His father had protested, claimed she was overstepping her rights, and insisted that everything was his. However, the empress was the late Duchess Alveres trustee; something he didnt know, and the will was very clear on who the true beneficiary was.

The empress, holding Axtons hand, glared at the duke, and said in the coldest voice Axton had ever heard her speak: Everything belongs to Axton.

From that point, he was then raised alongside Piers, who found out about Axtons family, and seemed to have a silent rage about it. Piers began to train harder with Axton, eventually surpassing him under the tutelage of Lord Sebastian. Piers also reviewed all of Axtons assets and helped him open his first inn when they were sixteen, as well as drafted the plan to make the current Duke Alvere a poverty-stricken joke.

However, Piers continued to be quiet and cold to most people and lost in his own interests. If he didnt want to do something, he wouldnt do it. But if he did, hed put all his effort into it. And despite what everyone said, Piers wasnt as insensitive as others thought. His treatment of Gideon was an example of this.

While Piers didnt interact often with his younger brother, and their relationship was somewhat distant, Piers had always supported and quietly encouraged Gideon when they passed. When he noticed that Gideon was devastated that he wasnt as smart or talented as him, Piers began to downplay his achievements and made a point to make it clear that no-one was to use him as a standard on which to judge his brother.

Gideon likely ended up extroverted and proud, with dreams of being a grand hero, because he wasnt crushed by his brothers accomplishments.

No matter what, Piers was a far better ruler from an administrative standpoint. It was just that whenever anyone brought it up, Piers being socially awkward and not being able to deal with nobles and the ruling elite always came up. For years, Axton tried to talk him into being a little more social, go to at least some dinners, or at least make appearances at festivals to boost his popularity, but Piers didnt want to.

Now, as the first prince sat across from him eating stew with bread hed brought back from Cafe Fortuna, Axton wanted to know if he really changed his mind. Axton narrowed his eyes.

Piers, he said as he sat down across from his friend and liege. I think we need to have a talk.

What did you do? Piers asked as he reached for the bottle of wine and poured it into a glass.

Its not me. Its you. Axton was seated in front of an empty plate, but had been thinking about this all weekend and wanted to get it off his chest. About what Tori said yesterday. Are you really considering it?

Considering what?

Axton pursed his lips. Being the crown prince.

Piers paused with a fork halfway to his mouth. He was quiet for a moment before bringing the food to his lips. After he swallowed, he gave Axton a nod. I can do it.

Axton tried to control his excitement. This is what hed wanted for years, but always fell on deaf ears.

What made you change your mind? Is it Tori? Are you in love with Tori? She is just a kid, dammit. Do you know your master will kill you? Im not going to be the one who tells him, because I want to live, but hell find out sooner or later.

Its interesting. That was such a typical Piers answer, Axton nearly flipped his still empty plate.

Its interesting? Axton repeated, unable to hold back his annoyance. Be honest with me. Do you want to be crown prince because Tori said youd make a good one?

All twelve marches think Id be a good crown prince.

Ive been telling you that since we were children!

Youre my friend and biased in my favor.

Axton almost stuttered with disbelief. Tori is also your friend and biased in your favor!

Piers shook his head. Tori is different.

How is Tori different?

Piers lifted his eyes and met Axtons. Tori cares about what I think.

Axton stared at him. Fourteen years of friendship...you know one girl for a few months and completely disregard me. I also care about what you think, you know!

Piers shook his head. You made me go outside.

What?

Remember when we were children? he said as he continued to eat. You made me go outside to play. I didnt want to go, but you made me do it, no matter how much I said I didnt want to. Piers frowned at the memory. I got dirty.

Axton silently glared at him. He got up from his seat, grabbed as much food as he could from the table, and carried it to his room, slamming the door behind him.