Chapter 78: I Don't Want to Lose You

Chapter 78: I Don't Want to Lose You

Sebastian tilted his head to the side and gave her a quizzical expression. What are you talking about?

She settled against the chair, but didnt take her eyes off of him. Before we left, you didnt protest when I embraced my friends.

I dont have a problem with you telling your friends good-bye and that youll miss them.

You have no problem with Ewan sleeping just outside my door when were in Axtons inns, she said, raising a brow.

Sebastian shrugged. He was in the main room with the twins.

I slept right next to him on the way here, Tori stressed. You put a blanket over the both of us.Updated from novelb(i)n.c(o)m

I only had one blanket.

Sebby. Tori sat up straight and frowned. Im serious. Why are you so averse to Piers?

The fire light danced across Sebastians face and he seemed to be thinking. Twice, he glanced towards the door, as if contemplating simply fleeing to avoid this conversation.

Is this something we need to discuss? he asked, his voice even. I am your older brother. Can an older brother not be protective of his fifteen-year-old sister?

Protective against a specific person? Tori frowned. Whenever Piers is involved, you become hyper-vigilant against him. Hes never shown any hostility towards me nor has he made any unwelcome movements. Piers is unable to even hug me. He has always shown me the utmost respect. She shook her head at her brother. I dont understand why you wont let me be alone with him when you have no problem with my other friends.

Piers is different. Her brothers voice dropped and his eyes narrowed. He is unlike your other friends. Piers situation is unique. Hes very attached to you.

Tori closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Ive told you before-

I know, Tori, I know, Sebastian said, closing his eyes and looking exhausted. Youre not in love with Piers, but its very clear you care about him and I cant help but worry that one day, youll end up marrying him.

She stared at her brother and opened her mouth. I...I am not planning on marrying anyone.

Maybe not right now, but the situation may change in the future, Sebastian told her in a firm voice. We dont want you to marry into such a perilous position.

Tori narrowed her eyes. What do you mean?

Her brothers green eyes crinkled up and he didnt seem to know what to say. He looked around the room and inhaled deeply.

Do you have silence charms? he asked, suddenly. Tori drew her head back, but nodded. Good. Put one on each wall, door, and window. He rose from his seat and reached into his pocket. He took out a raw, light blue stone and walked off the oval rug in front of the hearth, where their chairs were.

Tori stood up and stepped back, watching her brother put the stone on the tile ground and press down, dragging it to make a circle around them. She couldnt make out the faint line with her eyes, but there was a sort of energy there, surrounding where they were seated.

Sebby....

As a precaution, put up the silence charms, Her brother said as he stood up straight once he completed the circle. What Im going to say cant leave this room.

Tori looked down and blinked. She gave him a small nod and went to her bag. She used silence charms to keep noise in and noise out of her rooms at inns. She took her small stack and placed one on each wall, door, and window in the main chamber. When she was done, she returned to her chair.

Sebastians eye swept over her room, lingering on each charm before he took a deep breath and returned to his seat. He leaned forward and placed the blue stone on the floor at his feet. It was glowing a faint light and there was a steady stream of energy coming from it.

Her brother closed his eyes and leaned forward, placing his arms on his knees.

How many times do you think the Empress and Emperors lives were targeted? His voice was hoarse and Tori drew her head back.

She narrowed her eyes. Their lives were targeted? You mean assassination attempts?

Sebastian lifted his head and stared ahead of him, into the fire. Its not something that is widely known. Whenever there is an attempt, it is kept quiet. Very quiet. As marches, we are made aware of any attempts as it gives us a warning on who to be careful of. We are the empires security, so this is something only Papa, I, and a few close members of the family know. Even Mama doesnt know.

Tori frowned. Mama is a Marquess-

Imperial order from the Empress. Sebastian gave her a sad smile. She didnt want Mama to worry about her.

Tori crinkled her eyes and her hands clawed into the sides of her chair. She took a deep breath, but her voice was still unsteady. Who would target them?

There are extremist factions within Soleil; groups that dont agree with where the policies approved by the imperial family are going. There are outside forces trying to cause conflict and chaos to weaken the empire internally. There are those who simply want revenge because the imperial family did something that ruined their lives. That is the reason the imperial family is always surrounded by knights, poison testers, and rarely leave Horizon.

Sebastian took a deep breath before he continued. The safety and stability of the empire are an illusion, Tori. We are not an indomitable entity and the marches and the imperial family are well aware of that. It is our job to protect our people as best as we can so that they may live without fear.

Tori looked down at the table between them. In this world, everything seemed so peaceful aside from defending the eastern border. Soleil seemed politically stable with many allied-nations. It was wealthy, there appeared to be minimal internal conflict. Certainly, there was a danger for the imperial family for simply being figureheads, but Sebastians words made the danger much larger than she anticipated.

Have Piers and his brother been targeted?

Sebastian turned his head towards her. Why do you think Axton and that von Dorn kid have a position? They have agreed to become expendable lives for Piers and Gideon, should the case come to it. Axton is both lucky that Piers can defend himself in a fight, but unlucky in that not only is Piers the first born, but he has difficulty dealing with people, which can lead to panic attacks that make him vulnerable.

Tori swallowed hard. But has there been any attempt?

Her brother held her gaze for a moment before turning back to the fire. We thought Gideon would be the primary target for a while, as Piers seemed out of the picture; however, Piers food has been tampered with a few times at gatherings in the past. If you see him eat and hes just moving things around his plate, its because he knows its been tampered with.

Tori frowned. Why doesnt he say anything if he knows?

To protect the imperial familys appearance of strength, Sebastian told her. If he brought it up, it would cause a wave of fear. Fear leads to uncertainty. Uncertainty leads to panic.

But what if hes poisoned? Her stomach twisted. What if there are no poison testers, such as at meals outside the palace?

Piers and his brother carry around charms to test for poison, Sebastian said. And the cooks and kitchen staff at Lyce are carefully monitored.

Now that she thought about it, Piers always ate food from Cafe Fortuna; food his nanny cooked and was delivered to him by his knight. People he could trust. When they were at the Three Queens, she didnt doubt that Axton made sure whoever was preparing and delivering Piers food was trustworthy.

He had food testers at the delta and the only other food shed seen him eat in large quantities without hesitation was hers. Shed put food directly on his plate. She drew her lips inward. He never questioned her.

Have they been attacked before? Her voice was tight.

Sebastian, unfortunately, nodded. Gideon was well protected with plain clothes knights who were able to step in before he knew what was going on. I doubt von Dorn knows that Gideon was targeted and almost attacked twice. Piers has also been attacked, but he was able to focus and defend himself. At the time, Axton was away on training.

What about the Emperor and Empress? She hadn't answered him when he asked. She hadnt dwelled on their possible assassinations.

Sebastian continued to look at the fire. At least a dozen times each since they were crowned. The Emperor was poisoned several times in his youth and twice more when they were married and had yet to ascend the throne. One particular instance had him bedridden for a month. Empress Monica has had her food tampered with, her carriage broken into with her inside, has had her entourage attacked when she was outside the city, and been physically assaulted. She was stabbed in the leg, and once, she dislocated her shoulder. He looked at Tori. Do you know why?

She shook her head. No.

Sebastians eyes reddened as he stared at her. The Empress stepped in during an assassination attempt on the Emperor. I dont know if it was because he is her husband or because she was raised in a marquis family and it was her instinct, or if it was both, but when I see you with your friends, I know that you would do the same for them in a heartbeat. I would do the same for Idunn. Kasen.... Sebastians damp eyes narrowed for a moment. I dont know if Kasen has any friends hes that close to, but if he does, he would do the same. It is an instinct that, for lack of a better word, has been bred into us.

Toris throat was dry. Thats not necessarily a bad thing....

Her brother gave her a bittersweet smile and shook his head. Its not, he said. But its a dangerous thing. Your other friends: Ewan, Miss Agafonova, and the others...they wont face the same dangers as Piers. Even the Zisos boy, who was followed around by plain clothes Belcoy guards the entire time we were in Karap, doesnt face as much of a threat as Piers. Sebastian ran a hand down his face and met Toris eyes. Tori, Piers is a good kid. I know that. Hes different, but hes an honest and diligent person. And I know he would treat you well. Im not doubting he would. If you asked him for the moon, he would bring it back with stars and lay them at your feet, only asking you to spare him a glance. What terrifies me is that being connected to him may cost you your life.

40-years-old and that never crossed her mind. At most, she thought it would be annoying to have people misconstrue her intention and treat her as someone she wasnt. She wasnt interested in any of the honor and massive amounts of responsibility that Piers partner would be forced to have, and wanted to avoid it.

But when her brother explained his concern, it brought to light a terrifying risk she never considered and her body grew cold.

He lifted the lid and took out some old charms and some notebooks. I had a phase where I was interested in getting charms to react to things in order to find them. Usually, the charms would glow upon close contact with a source.

How close? Tori asked. Direct contact?

With what I was searching for, about a hands width away, Kasen told her. The caveat is that the charm must know what it's looking for, so it has to touch and register the object first. For example, if you were looking for traces of gold on a person, the charm would have had to touch gold and record its energy source for reference. Then, you can take the charm and move it over a persons hands. There will be some residual material from everything that person touches and if it remains, the charm will react.

Tori furrowed her brows and looked up as she held the old strips of paper with ugly handwriting of Old Sulfae written on them. Residual material?

I dont know how else to describe it. Think of it as dust after you pick up a rock, Kasen told her. He looked down at the contents of the box and began shifting through them. He separated three charms from the small pile of paper. These three are a set. Each one picks up a certain material. When the materials are put together, they form a gas that can put people to sleep. Prolonged exposure to that gas can cause internal bleeding.

Tori narrowed her eyes. I didnt know there was such a thing.

Kasen gave her a wry smile. Not many people do.

Is it possible to put the Old Sulfae on a crystal, like how Ive been scraping Old Sulfae into the obsidian safety talismans I made Andy and Axton, and use the crystal to react?" Tori asked. It should be, right? We just need to find the right crystal that will work.

Kasen raised his shoulders a bit. Crystals arent my area of expertise. Since you can program them, like you can with charms, I would think so. However, the type of crystal used is likely important, too.

Tori nodded. Im going to do some tests then. She gathered the loose charms and prepared to put them in the box. Does this notebook have the translations?

Yes, though some are crude. Some pages are just practicing the characters. Kasen crossed his arms over his chest once more and frowned at the box. I didnt have many formal lessons in Old Sulfae and was going from what I could find in books. My notes may not have all the information you need. And it mainly applies to charms. Crystals have different properties you should consider.

Tori put the charms in the box and closed the lid. Thats fine. It seems that people either do charms or crystals now. Master Ramos says the combination of the two is a lost art. She picked up the box and held it against her. Thanks, Kasey.

She turned and walked towards the door. Tori.

Hm? She looked over her shoulder, attentive.

Kasen lowered his arms to his side and took a deep breath. I hope you consider the risks that Sebastian told you about in regards to your relationships. Not only with Piers, but with anyone else. The last thing we want is to lose you.

Her eyes softened and she exhaled. I dont want to lose the family, either. I want to live, Kasey, but I have to be realistic. Im not invulnerable.

He lowered his eyes and nodded. Tori stepped back and left his room, clutching the box against her. She headed to her room before she could be caught by the twins and dragged off to play. As much as she loved them, she had things to work on, including this new endeavor.

Once inside her room, she walked to her desk and opened the lid of the box. She fished out the notebook and put it aside before looking for her own notebook to write down her thoughts, ideas, and translations.

First, she had to figure out what the charms said. Shed start off with the format of a single charm to detect traces of an object. She would work within the confines of a charm and then expand out to crystals. She scribbled words into her notebook, replacing residual material with chemical. Visualization was a big part of working with crystals; if she broke it down to imagining small units, like particles, maybe it would help when she programmed the crystal.

Kasen did tell her to imagine dust.

She took out some scrap paper from her desk and began to break down the format of the charm. She copied the Old Sulfae Kasen wrote around the edges of his old charms and then began to fill in the center.

She spent the entire afternoon practicing and to no avail. The charms she made wouldnt glow or react.

Maybe the wording is wrong.... She muttered under her breath and went to find her Old Sulfae translation book. Sometimes, the only thing that needed to be changed was a character in the script.

A knock came from her door, followed by the voice of one of the maids. My lady, dinner will be served in the dining hall soon.

Ill be there! she called out. She looked around and shuddered. She hadnt noticed it was dark out and that the light crystals in her room had automatically begun to glow. The hearth was not automatic and she made a note to ask one of the servants to start it while she was at dinner.

She paused for a moment and looked at the unlit hearth. The ambiance of a fireplace was not to be looked down upon, but it did take up a lot of wood. Carnelian heaters would do a better job without using so much material.

Next winter break, Ill bring a few back to test them in large rooms. Tori raised her arms and stretched them over her head. Her back cracked and her eyes widened. I did not think this body was old enough to crack its back.... She rolled her shoulders back and stood up. Perhaps she had been sitting too long with her body hunched over the desk.

This world lacked her ergonomic chair and desk set up at the office. A standing desk would be good, but it wasnt as if she were working in front of a monitor the entire time.

She walked around her desk and knocked over some paper shed pushed to the edge. She wrinkled her nose and let out a small grumble as she knelt down and began to collect the scrap paper, old charms, and one of Kasens notebooks.

She put handful after handful back on to the desk and when she picked up Kasens notebook last, she rose to her feet. She held it in one hand and casually fingered through.

A few pages were stuck together. Frowning, Tori put the notebook on her desk and opened it up to the stuck pages. This notebook appeared to mainly be used for practice characters. The Old Sulfae was nearly illegible and Tori was sure Kasen was just learning to use them when he practiced in that notebook.

Several pages that were stuck together were hard and rippled, as if something wet had been dropped on them. It wasnt enough to be spilled from a cup. There were several drops dotting the page. Perhaps Kasen had spilled something near-by and it splashed onto the sheets.

After the clump of pages, the rest of the notebook was empty. Her brother probably gave up on using it when it was damaged.

She tried to pry apart the pages and found that they spread easily. There were random scribbles within and Tori chuckled. Kasen had terrible handwriting as a child.

Then her name caught her eye.

It was written with a thin brush, probably in between Kasens practice characters. Tori narrowed her eyes. The handwriting was bad, but she could still read it.

Come back, Victoria...?

Her brows furrowed as her lips tightened. She read the other scribbles she hadnt paid attention to.

I miss her.

Please, let her come back.

Why did they take her?

I wont let them get away.

I want her home.

Come home.

Big brother misses you.

Im sorry I poked your cheeks.

Tori turned the page and found more scribbles. Some were smeared and it struck her that the liquid wasnt something that Kasen spilled, but he was likely crying when he wrote this.

Another page and more pleas for her to return, more laments that she was gone, and more sharp brush strokes wishing death upon those who took her. Another page, another painful appeal for her safety.

Tori shut her eyes tightly and readied herself for another sharp pain that came with a memory, but nothing happened. Tori couldnt remember being kidnapped or getting lost. Something like that would stick with a young child.

Her eyes opened and narrowed. Unless it happened before she could remember. She looked back at the notebook.

Kasen was eight years older than her. If he wrote in the notebook when he was around that age, then something wouldve happened to her when she was an infant.

Her eyes drifted back to the mess of charms that had been piled in the box and her heart sank. She reached out and picked up a stiff, old charm. He had a phase where he was trying to get charms to react in order to find something....

Her eyes began to water as she clutched the charm against her chest. There were so many charms, so many notes. Was eight-year-old Kasen learning to use charms to find her? She swallowed hard as she heard Sebastians broken voice in her head.

I dont want to lose you.