Chapter 114: I'm Tired of Life

Chapter 114: I'm Tired of Life

Put me on the bed.

Kasen gently picked her up from her wheelchair and placed her on the side of her bed. Sebastian pulled the wheelchair away as their mother looked on with worry. Tori laid down, facing the ceiling.

Roll me on my stomach. Her voice was too calm. Kasen didnt say a word as he carefully rolled her onto her stomach and adjusted her unmoving legs. Tori buried her head in her pillow. Im tired of life.

Tori... Sebastian frowned as he knelt beside the bed and stroked her hair. Dont be upset.

I didnt ask for this.

Tori, Kasen sat on the edge of the bed next to her. He opened his mouth, but didnt seem to know what else to say.

After Chamberlain Thorpson read the proclamation and bestowed the title of Countess, Tori put all her effort into controlling her reaction. She couldnt cause a scene at her and Alberts birthday party or so openly reject the Emperor. She also didnt want to be a downer.

They invited all their friends and family to have fun; she didnt want to destroy the happy atmosphere.

She had put a smile on her face, gracefully leaned forward to accept the folio presented to her, and thanked Chamberlain Thorpson over the sound of the fireworks. She then motioned for them to have a seat at one of the tables to eat. The two folios were placed on her lap as she had the knight turn her around to face her table.

While her little cousins were excited and congratulated her, playfully calling out Countess Tori, the adults at her table were quiet and watched her carefully. She kept her smile on her face and put on an air of excitement. Tori rambled on about how Piers told her she was getting two islands, but she didnt think it would be the entire delta.

It was an unexpected honor.

She laughed and accepted congratulations from their guests as they came to speak to her throughout the night. Tiff asked if they should call her Countess now, to which she said, Lady Tori or Tori is fine; dont worry about the formal title. Ewans parents were impressed, Henriks father insisted it was well deserved. Various associates started calling her Countess Guevera or Countess Tori.

Duke Sinan and the Duchesses quietly congratulated her, but there was a glint of sympathy in their eyes. They knew what her family knew: she was just given a lifetime burden.

There were two kinds of counts in Soleil. The first was just an official title for a person who oversaw judicial and legal administration in a local area on behalf of a high ranking noble. For example, Sur had twenty-two administrative counts. The titles and positions were not inherited, but were assigned by her father, Marquis Guevera.

Titles and positions were reassigned after an administrative counts death or if they were assessed as unable to perform their official duties. In some cases, there were dynastic administrative counts, where counts specifically trained heirs to take over, similar to dynastic political families, like the Guthrys. Since the title could easily be revoked, administrative counts tended to train and then select the best performing heir for their family to keep the prestigious title and position.

The second type of count performed the exact same duties as an administrative count, but also had the additional burden of governing an appointed area: their county. They were landed nobility who could inherit title and land.

Landed peerage in Soleil wasn't just an honor or status; it was a massive responsibility. The land was hers, but she had to govern it. This included public works and resources, infrastructure, finance, education, land management, health services, and the judicial and law enforcement duties of an administrative count. She had to take part in the Chamber. She couldnt just do whatever she wanted, either. She had to work within an existing legal and governing framework of the empire.

What was more, this wasnt temporary. With this, she was saddled with a lifelong duty. She also wasnt inheriting it and any existing procedures. There was no prior Count or Countess of Cosora to guide her. Tori would have to begin from nothing. Shed have to build up her county government from the ground up. She didnt know how long that would take, especially without any background or experience in governing.

Her plans to play with crystals and travel were suddenly dashed and she felt overwhelmed and helpless.

She hid her exhausted and sad expression from her guests as best as she could and encouraged everyone to eat and dance through the night, if only to avoid speaking to her and discovering how devastated she was. Tori tried to stay with them as long as she could and keep the smile on her face.

When the older guests and the small children began to leave, Tori took the opportunity to also return, citing that shed been up early working in the kitchen. Everyone wished her a happy birthday once more and Sebastian pushed her back to her tent, followed by Kasen and their mother.

As soon as they were out of sight from the guests, her smile fell, and Tori leaned forward and covered her face with her hands as the dread and helplessness swept over her. She said nothing else, allowing her brothers to silently bring her back to her tent. Her family knew what being the Countess of Cosora required of her.

It was supposed to be an island.... She muttered into her pillow. Is he trying to kill me?

No one is trying to kill you, her mother said softly.

Tori took a deep breath. Im still in school. I havent graduated yet nor have I finished my Lyce project. I have no background in governing. What does the Emperor mean to give me responsibility for the entire delta? Not just the islands. Not just Viclya, but the entire Cosora Delta!

She didnt need this in her life.

It could be that the Emperor wants to keep you assigned to the development of the delta after your Lyce project, Kasen said.

If thats the case, this is the best way to assure that Tori will be tied down to the delta, Sebastian said as he rubbed his chin. Regardless, this is a lot to hand over to a sixteen-year-old.

Its a lot to hand over to a forty-year-old with no governing or legal experience! Tori wanted to scream.

Let her rest. Aside from the severity of the proclamation, she was busy all day, her mother said. She felt her brothers move away. Her mother removed her shoes and then placed a thin blanket over her. Dim the light crystal. Tori, I will be back later. Sleep first.

Tori let out a muffled reply and listened to them leave. After the sound of the tent flap at the entrance of the tent sounded, she lifted her head and faced the side. She was exhausted, but still smelled like grilled meat. She closed her eyes and let out a small groan.

She needed help to change and bathe, otherwise it would take her three times as long and shed be even more tired. She fished out her comcry and called for Sir Pinzon to come and help her.

My lady, do you need assistance preparing for bed? Sir Pinzon was dressed in a more casual knights attire. No light armor, padding, or even gloves.

Yes, can you help me to the bath? I want to wash my hair again. I still smell like food.

Sir Pinzon chuckled and helped her on to her wheelchair and then brought her to the extended room. She assisted Tori into the room. Since it was difficult for Tori to get in and out of a tub without being carried, she reverted to the style of bathroom they had at the dorm, where she sat on a stool and used a small bucket to wash and rinse herself.

Once on her stool, Sir Pinzon arranged for warm water in a tub to be scooped out and brought all of Toris soaps and creams closer. Splashing was heard from within as she scrubbed her hair once more. It took two lathers to finally get the smell out.

Was it worth it for KBBQ? She asked herself as she kept her head bowed and dumped a bucket of water over her hair to rinse. Yes.

She reached for a towel and patted herself dry. Luckily, it was summer, and the warm air helped keep her comfortable while drying. She then wiggled into a sleep chemise and called to be helped back onto the wheelchair in the corner.

It was much more comfortable now that she didnt smell like dinner or felt a smokey residue on her person.

Shall I carry you onto the bed, my lady? Sir Pinzon asked.

Push me to the side, I can pull myself on, Tori said. I started feeling my thighs this morning.

Thats wonderful, my lady. Thats a bit ahead of schedule, isnt it?

Just a little. Tori grabbed on to the railing by her bed and with some help to keep her standing, managed to maneuver herself on to the edge and then rolled onto her bed before pulling herself up and rubbing her head with a towel. The struggle made her a little out of breath. Im fine now, Sir Pinzon. You may retire. Thank you for your assistance.

It is as I should. Sir Pinzon parked the wheelchair next to the bed and bowed before leaving.

Tori ran the towel through her thick hair for a bit longer. One of her experiments in Anahata Island was a hair dryer. With her hairstyle in her original world, she rarely used one. Her hair was straight and easy to manage; air drying sufficed unless she was short on time. But here, she wanted it.

Fluorite, carnelian, and calcite were sitting somewhere on Anahata Island, and she couldnt touch them for the time being. She decided to wait until she could walk again before starting crystal work. The masters who came with her father to the cabin said that she needed to wait until she had feeling and could move her legs, but waiting a few more weeks would be for the best.

In the meantime, she could focus on the nightmare of being a countess. Her shoulders slumped as her arms fell onto her lap. As much as she didnt want the responsibility, she couldnt ignore it. Ignoring it would make the villagers suffer.

She needed a plan and counsel. If she was able to break down the duties of the position into manageable bites and get proper guidance, then she could learn and adapt. If she thought of it as professional training for additional work, it wasnt so scary. It wasnt as if she wasnt thrown unexpected jobs while unprepared before, both in Soleil and in her original world.

Tori tossed her towel onto the arm of her wheelchair and rolled back into bed with damp hair. As she closed her eyes, she heard shuffling from the front of the tent. A quiet familiar voice spoke in hushed tones. The knights guarding her tent wouldnt let in anyone dangerous, so she didnt panic. After a few moments, the shuffling ended. She heard the flap of her tent close.

Tori? In the dim light, she could see the cloth flap door to her room move, as if someone were knocking.

Come in. She already knew who it was and wondered how he was able to enter.

The flap opened a bit and Piers slipped in, but remained by the entrance.

How did you get in? Tori grabbed onto the railing next to her bed and pulled herself up. She narrowed her eyes as Piers shifted in his spot by the flap separating the two parts of her tent.

The front.

Tori raised a brow. The knights didnt stop you?

Tori wouldnt want that. Antonia had reviewed Toris budget and Tori kept a tight grip on finances because she didnt want to spend all her familys money. In addition, any income that Tori was making from her personal businesses was reinvested in her project.

Tori will not allow that to continue past her project, Antonia said, more to Sebastian than the others at the table. Even if she is made the Countess.

What the Emperor values most are the Countess abilities, Rudolph told them as he leaned forward with a serious expression. She can be trusted to manage the delta well.

She is capable of managing it to a certain degree, but youre ordering her to govern the region by herself as well as oversee construction. Antonias cold voice didnt falter.

But she has excellent resources for counsel, Monica said. Antonias glare turned to her, and she shrank back. Consider it, Toni. She has you and your family. She has excellent connections with various instructors at Universit. Im sure Piers will also help her.

At the name, Sebastian tensed on Antonias left. Her eldest son frowned.

Tori has told us that she has no plans to marry. Marriage would tie her down, Sebastian said in a low voice. His eyes narrowed. Did the Emperor use this method to keep Tori here because she doesnt want to marry Piers?

Antonias eyes went wide. Tori was a valuable asset. Who would let such a person leave for extended periods of time and focus their attention elsewhere? If Tori married Piers, the valuable asset would be secured by the imperial family. But gone were the days where a marriage could be forced, at least legally.

If Tori didnt want to get married, no one could legally force her to. Not her or Gregorio. Not her brothers. Not Piers or the Emperor.

So, how could the Emperor secure Toris loyalty and abilities to Soleil?

Make her responsible for land.

And land that she had already been developing and had a connection to. Antonia let out a low breath and shook her head. Her hands shook over the arms of the chair as her breathing trembled.

How very clever, Antonia said in a cold, even voice.

Monica seemed to pale. Toni-

I wanted my daughter to be free to do whatever she wished with the life she was given, and with this, she has been trapped. Antonia pushed her chair back and stood up, the fury in her face clear. He is lucky he is the Emperor.

Toni!

Senior Antonia!

She turned around and stalked away from the table in the inner corner of the restaurant. She slipped past the remaining teenagers in the plaza with her sons following behind her as she walked back to Toris tent.

Once I complete my task, I will temporarily move here to assist Tori, Kasen said.

Leave at least one of your assistants at home. Ill make sure to keep your workload light, Sebastian replied.

When your father arrives, we will sit and discuss what is needed, Antonia told them. The trio walked down the wooden pathway to the encampment. The air around them was cold and the knights who followed didnt say a word. How dare that little brat of an Emperor trap my daughter.... I shouldve broken his legs when we were in Lyce.

You shouldve broken Chamberlain Thorpsons legs, as well, Sebastian muttered.

Tori did her best to keep calm at her birthday, Kasen said in a quiet voice. He shook his head. To think her celebration ended like this. The three of them fell into a cold, angry silence.

After what Tori considered her initial freak out, she sat with her mother and brothers to discuss what needed to be done and how best to go about it. First, the matter couldnt be kept secret, so it was deemed best to let the village know what was happening lest rumors explode and cause problems later.

However, before a formal announcement to the village regarding Toris peerage and new county could be made, she called over the village and project leads to her tent and broke the news. There were over a dozen people in front of her and her siblings and mother behind her.

Piers had rushed back to Horizon with the Empress to begin gathering what resources Tori could use.

As of last night, an imperial proclamation was made making me the Countess of Cosora, responsible for not only Viclya, but the Cosora Delta. This peerage is landed.

The response was as she expected. The leads were surprised, but pleased. They deemed Tori a good leader and felt she was managing the situation well. She was well liked by both villagers and hired workers. A series of congratulations was sent her way and Tori returned a gracious smile and thanks.

If she appeared spiteful and bitter about it, it would cause discomfort and concern, which she didnt want. She needed to reassure them that it would be managed properly. If they had confidence, then the current stability could be managed.

While becoming the Countess of Cosora was not part of my initial plan, I have already begun preparations and sought counsel. There is much to do regarding governing the region. For the time being, we will continue as planned, as if no changes were made to the governing of the delta. Everyone here is expected to keep the responsibilities placed upon them when they were chosen for their position.

Control of the delta gives me more flexibility and one of the major changes is that all the land weve been working around has been allocated. This land needs to be properly documented and this will take some time. This can begin after the tourist season. This time allowance will also give us insight on available labor and the results of our experimental crops this year. Since the delta region does not get significant snowfall, I feel this is do-able. Are there any questions?

She held her breath and despite what she hoped, several leads raised their hands. Tori took note of their questions, wanting to carefully review them before replying. If there were any more concerns, memos could be sent directly to her tent.

When will the announcement of your peerage be made to the village, Countess? Johan Sima asked.

The formal announcement will be made at the end of this month, but its not a secret. The village has a right to know I have become their countess. If there are concerns, please take note of them. Reassuring the villagers is important when there is a change such as this; please assure them that there are no changes planned as of right now. Understood?

Yes, Countess. Several voices confirmed and Tori excused them. A few village leaders lingered to tell her that they were relieved with the proclamation, as they were uncertain of the deltas management after her project was over.

Tori sighed and gave them a helpless look. Do you think so little of yourselves? If I did not deem you fit for your position and its corresponding responsibilities, I would not have kept you. If my new title is of some comfort, I think thats good, but I do not want everyone to become complacent. I expect much out of all the leads.

Countess, since I have a moment of your time now, may I speak? The village lead on labor stepped forward and Tori gave him a nod. The masonry and carpentry guilds in Horizon have reached out to request temporary branches in Viclya to assist with the needs and communication of their guild members here as there is prolonged construction.

Proceed. Work with them to confirm guild members to lead. For day-to-day work, they will report to you. Should there be anything more complex, bring it to me, Tori replied.

Yes, Countess. He bowed his head and left her tent.

Johan Sima was left. He had been standing to the side and seemed to wait until his peers left before stepping forward. As far as village leads, Johan was Toris immediate representative to the village and would oversee anything he was assigned.

Do you have concerns, Mr. Sima? Tori asked as she looked up at him. He stood in front of her desk and bowed his head to greet her and then stood up straight.

Lady...Countess. He corrected himself sheepishly. This is a personal matter. Tori gave him a nod to proceed. He didnt look at her brothers or mother, so she assumed it wasnt anything embarrassing or awkward to ask. Sigrun and I will have our child in the coming months. He took a deep breath and his face reddened. If Countess Guevera will accept; we would like to make you the godmother of our child.

Toris brows rose and she was speechless. She had assumed that her first godchild in Soleil would be one of her friends kids. Most likely Ilyanas. She didnt think a villager would ask her.

A godparent had a responsibility to guide and was insurance for care of the child if something happened to the parents. The Empress brought and raised Axton after Duchess Alvere died. Uncle Rom not only counseled her, but he also went against her familys unspoken rule to tell her the truth about her abduction because he felt it was right and necessary. They were also expected to be part of the childs life.

But this wasnt a burden Tori was unprepared to make.

It is an honor to be trusted as a godparent for your child, Tori said with a small nod of her head. I accept.

A wide, relieved smile broke out on Johans face as he lowered his head and bowed once more. Thank you, Countess Guevera. I will tell Sigrun at once.

Tori gave him another nod and he almost ran out of her tent.

Being a godparent is not only an honor, Tori, her mother said behind her. You will need to be active in that childs life and support them.

I am aware, Tori replied. I like kids.

Her brothers chuckled and she felt a hand rest on top of her head. You will need to prepare for their trifecta ceremony and pick a god for their blessing.

Did you pick a god for Istvan? Tori asked as she tilted her head back to look at Sebastian.

God of creativity, Sebastian said. Not only because of their familys occupation, but also because I wanted Istvan to be like Kasen.

Kasen looked taken aback by this. Tori could see the surprise in his softened expression. You want him to be like me?

Sebastian nodded. Yes. A headache to our parents.