Ravina was resting in her bed, or her body was resting but her mind was busy. What was that smile on his face or the look in his eyes? Her heart was beating fast as if her body was telling her something.
Would he go make some hasty decision to make her his queen? Why now? It wasn’t as if he didn’t know what it implied become his queen. No, he wouldn’t be so stupid to make a decision and jeopardize his people’s safety. No one would accept her as their queen yet.
She turned in bed feeling anxious, her fingers reaching to peel herself but this time she realized what she was doing. She stopped herself but it was difficult. The itch was strong.
Getting out of bed, she paced in the room waiting for everyone to leave so she could go find something to do. What did she need to do?
Her mind went to that most frightening place. What was scarier than being intimate with the dragon? Carrying his children. She convulsed and her stomach turned. She needed to find ways to prevent pregnancy.
Feeling sick, she sat on the edge of the bed. Either way she turned, there was no peace for her. It was all her fault. She had accepted that she would wed a man she didn’t like until she let Ares in. Until she let him show her it could be different. Now she knew the possibility of having such a thing and it messed with her mind and heart. She wished she never knew.
Being in this position, Ravina really hoped things were different for her sister. She wondered if she was someone’s breedmate, if that person not being king would make things easier or harder for them. But from the rarity of human breedmates, she began to doubt that she could be a breedmate. She didn’t even want to think about what would have become of her then.
Her stinging fingers pulled her out of her worry. She had peeled her cuticles. She lay down again, curling up, unable to contain her stress. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to imagine being up in the mountains again, the calm breeze, the sunrise until there was a knock on the door.
She sat up, alarmed. Who was it?
“Come in,” she called.
Araminta peeked inside. “Am I disturbing?”
“No.”
She stepped inside. “How are you feeling?” She asked.
“It is nothing serious. I probably just need to sleep more.”
She nodded with a smile. “Yes. Rest is important. I will leave you to rest then. Don’t be afraid to tell Malachi if you need anything. I told him to stay here with you.”
“You didn’t have to. I am sure he has things to take care of. I just need some sleep.”
“Well, he should take care of you first.”
Uh…
“Sleep well,” she said and then went back to the door, closing it as she left.
Ravina sighed, glad that they were leaving so she could leave her room soon and find something to occupy her.
She waited for a while to make sure they had truly left and then she snuck out listening for any sound. When she heard nothing, she walked down the hall, passing by Malachi’s room. She peeked inside, curious to see if he had stayed as his mother told him.
Ravina couldn’t find him inside. He probably left knowing that she wasn’t truly sick which made her wonder why he helped her. Anyway, she could use the time alone.
She went downstairs trying to find something to keep her occupied. She looked through the bookshelf in the parlor, thinking perhaps she could find something to read, but they were written in dragon language. But they didn’t speak their language, she noticed.
As she turned pages, she heard a knock coming from the front door. She went to answer. Priest Chanan stood outside.
“Good morning,” he smiled.
“Good morning,” she said surprised to see him here. This wasn’t her home but she felt like she had to invite him inside. “Please come in,” she said stepping away.
“Thank you,” he walked in and she closed the door.
He turned around. “King Malachi is not here,” she told him.
“I know. I came here to see you.”
“Oh…”
“I see you are doing alright. That is good,” he smiled.
“Would you… like some tea or coffee?”
“I will have water only,” he told her.
She nodded and then led him into the parlor to sit before going to bring him water. He took his time to finish the cup as she sat down.
“Do you want more?” She asked thinking that he probably walked down all those stairs.
“No. Thank you.” He put the cup down. “I see you got a tattoo.”
“Ah… yes.”
“It must be Malachi. He is known for his art.”
He was indeed talented.
“A dandelion. Interesting.”
“Does it mean something?” She asked.
“A dandelion represents hope and healing. One blowing in the wind means a wish for a good fate.”
She frowned. “Do you think Malachi knows that?”
He smiled. “I am not sure, but sometimes we do things by instinct without truly knowing.”
She nodded. “What if I can’t become a dragon tamer?” She asked.
“You don’t need to become one. You are already. Just like you are human, female, and a breedmate. A dragon tamer is so by nature. Now whether you use your capabilities is another thing.”
“Then what if I don’t use my capabilities?”
“That is your choice,” he said. “It is a great burden to bear and only you can decide.”
She leaned forward. “I don’t feel strong enough. I am someone on the edge all the time.”
Ravina saw understanding in his eyes. “It is important to listen to your mind and your body. Don’t push or carry more than you can and remember to care for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be generous and loving to yourself.”
Why was he saying this? And why did her eyes burn?
“Sometimes we feel guilty when we are the survivors. It is alright to live and even be happy.”