Chapter 196:

He rubbed his lips with his fingertips, feeling a faint heat and a bitter sensation. Cadel was lying dead on the bed, lazily pursing his lips. His eyes narrowed in a dazed expression, and he muttered to himself.

“A kiss is...... a kiss.”

A kiss was a kiss, even if it was with a man, even if it was a valued subordinate. Kissing a male subordinate didn’t set the world on fire, and it didn’t make him sick to his stomach.

Maybe it was because of what Lumen said.

“Don’t worry. I’m not some douchebag who thinks he’s got Leader with a kiss. Well, Leader can think of it as you having me. You actually had me, too.”

Lumen still wore his trademark playful, laid-back smile, and his demeanor was neat as if Cadel didn’t have to take his actions seriously.

Cadel didn’t react much to that. Partly because he didn’t have anything to add, and partly because he was distracted by the system window that popped up as if waiting for him.

[Congratulations! A-grade Knight ‘Lumen Dominic’ has been recruited!]

[Current Knight Order Cost: 13/25]

Lumen’s long-awaited joining ended with a kiss. Cadel had no idea what the criteria for recruiting were, but he didn’t want to dig into it, so he just accepted it.

With Lumen in front of him, Cadel looked at his stats before the afterglow of the kiss faded.

<Lumen Dominic>

Current Grade: A-grade

Maximum Awakening Grade: S-grade

Position: Dealer

That one became precious meant that the world one lived in also became precious. Cadel didn’t want that. He was a man who was going to leave. There was nothing more foolish than a man who was leaving trying to put down roots in the place he was leaving.

“This is crazy.”

Cadel ruffled his hair irritably. It wasn’t really necessary to look into the past. In a normal relationship, you don’t know someone’s past unless they told you first. It was only his own greed that made him want to see Lumen’s past, and the burden of knowing was his own to bear.

If he didn’t want his feelings to get heavy, he just didn’t look to the past. It was a simple matter of accepting Lumen’s decision as was and gauging his sincerity as he saw fit. However.

“......How could that be?”

Cadel had lured Lumen into his arms. He has made Lumen walk a path he need not have traveled because Cadel coveted his power. He made Lumen give up things he didn’t have to give up, and he made Lumen resign himself to things he could be greedy for.

And yet, to accept Lumen’s favorability and loyalty so naively, as if he didn’t know any better, to deny Lumen his heart for fear that Lumen would become more important to him. Cadel couldn’t do that.

Cadel’s eyes narrowed as if he were about to cry. At times like this, he cursed himself for not knowing better. Even though attacking head-on wasn’t always the right thing to do, you didn’t realize it until you had been hit once and broke completely.

“Okay, forget it. I’ll just look at it. It’s going to be uncomfortable whether I see it or not, so let’s just be uncomfortable all at once.”

He thought long and hard, but his decision was quick. Cadel strode to the bed and threw himself down without hesitation. Fortunately, his tired body quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

[You have entered a state of unconsciousness.]

[There are stories you can watch.]

[Lydon’s Memories – Past Story (Favorability over 70)]

[Lumen Dominic’s Memories – Past Story (Favorability over 70)]

If he could, he would have gotten to the bottom of Lydon’s past in one fell swoop. Cadel felt his mindset turn combative, and he took in the flickering vision.