Chapter 213:
* * *
After informing Van and Lumen that the matter was resolved, Cadel decided to take some time to himself. He needed time to collect his thoughts without interruption. Nêww chapters will be fully updated at (n)ov(e)l/bin(.)com
His destination was the beach adjacent to the harbor. As he sat on the sand and stared out into the night, his mind seemed to drift. Too many events had occurred in such a short period of time, and he felt like he was having a bad dream.
‘......It must have been inevitable, right?’
When you ask yourself the question, you don’t get an answer. It always did. The unanswered questions always left a dark mark on Cadel’s mind.
While meeting with his comrades towards the end of the story, their lives changed significantly due to the choices made by Cadel.
Van, who despised the nobility, was forced to work among them, and Lumen, who dreamed of taking revenge on his family, renounced his position in the family. Lydon, who should have inherited the throne of the Fairy King, fought on the side of the humans who had persecuted the fairies in the past, and Garuel, who died to protect those he loved, lived to see them hurt.
Unfortunately, Cadel could not accept all the changes positively. Nevertheless, he could not, even mistakenly, conclude that they would be happy because they had him.
That his existence would be a terrible misfortune for them. Cadel feared that.
He already cared for them. There was guilt in Cadel’s feelings for his subordinates, but there was also affection. He liked them, and there was nothing in this world more important than them.
Even more so, Cadel was at a loss.
‘I have to go back. To my original world.’
He had to move forward with his original goal. Even as he had made up his mind, he kept thinking about his comrades who would remain in this world.
What happened to the world when he had gone? Would it ever be at peace? If the original Cadel Lytos returned, would he remember the memories with the remaining subordinates? If the original Cadel Lytos forgot them all and only remembered his first meeting with Van, there would be nothing worse than that.
Leaving this world meant that Cadel would be relieved of the responsibility of bringing his subordinates into the story. He would leave all responsibility here, and return to his own life. Back to where he belonged, alone, after changing their lives as he pleased.
‘......It’s once again the worst.’
He wanted to be at ease. If only he could see them as characters in a game. If only he hadn’t given them his heart, and they hadn’t given him theirs. If only he hadn’t been forced to fight, and if only he hadn’t been forced to live this life.
If he was going to be selfish, he wanted to be endlessly selfish. He didn’t want to be this obscure piece of garbage.
“Haa.......”
Cadel had never seen such a large man cry so desperately before. If it weren’t for his adorable appearance, Cadel might have thought Lydon was an ugly crier.
Lydon’s voice was raspy and muffled from crying.
“You acted like you never wanted to see me again.”
“That’s just because I’m angry—”
“I can’t live without Cadel, but Cadel can live without me. You can abandon me, Cadel.”
“......What?”
“Don’t throw me away. You can’t leave me behind. I’m sorry.......”
Lydon lowered his head and sobbed. With his eyes fixed on Lydon’s curly blonde hair, Cadel was completely speechless.
It was unlikely that Lydon knew what was troubling him. Cadel had never spoken of it, and he had never heard of fairies being able to read minds, so Lydon must just be saying what he felt. Nevertheless, Cadel felt dazed, as if he’d been hit over the head with sorrowful sincerity.
He suddenly became short of breath. His heart pounded, and a nameless emotion surged through him. Something heavy, almost impulsive, pounded in his chest. It was as if the threads that controlled Cadel’s body had snapped.
With a vicious twist of his gripped wrist, Cadel yanked it free and hugged the crouching Lydon tightly. There was a stirring of emotions that he couldn’t bear to let go of.
“No. Who said that? Who said I’m abandoning you.”
“I told you I can’t do anything without Cadel.......”
“I won’t throw you away. I won’t leave you behind. How can I.......”
He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t keep his distance, and he couldn’t let go of his affection. The damage was done.
Cadel bit his lip as if he was holding back the excruciating pain.
“It’s okay, Lydon. I won’t leave you. I won’t abandon you. I’ll always be here for you...... So don’t cry.”
As he clutched desperately at the large man in his arms, he realized there was no turning back now. He was the same as Lydon. He couldn’t be without them. He didn’t want to go back to a life without them anymore. He’d been in denial all this time, but in the end.
He wanted to be with them in this endless world.