Chapter 227:
[Knight ‘Garuel Monzasi’ ’s favorability has increased by 4.]
[Current favorability: 72/100]
Cadel smirked as he stared at the rising system window, and Garuel laughed along with him, wiping the corner of Cadel’s mouth that was glistening with saliva. Cadel dazedly accepted the touch, realizing that he had made a mess of Garuel as well, and reached out to wipe the corner of Garuel’s mouth as well.
Garuel paused, then squinted. As if drained by the long kiss, Cadel brushed the back of his head against the wooden post. Garuel nuzzled the exposed nape of Cadel’s white neck and spoke quietly.
“Aren’t you going to tell me? What did you talk about with the Scarlet Dragon?”
“.......”
“I want us to have no secrets.”
Cadel tried as hard as he could not to think about it, even as the steady gaze followed him. But it was impossible. He had to find the right words to answer the question, and he desperately racked his brain to come up with an answer that was not Cadel Lytos, but Shin Yeohwan.
The answer he came up with was still his own, so he couldn’t be sure. Crumbling under the weight of his own despair, Cadel let the raw emotion flow out of him.
“He says I have a special power.”
“A special power?”
“I told you before. I’m living a life with a fixed end. I guess it’s something like that.”
“......You don’t look happy at all. Normally, humans are happy when they have something special.”
Cadel grabbed Garuel’s hand at the nape of his neck and pulled it down. He squeezed Garuel’s soft fingers helplessly.
“Because it doesn’t seem to be my power. It’s a power that...... I feel like I stole it.”
“Is fate too much of a burden for you?”
Garuel’s gaze was still searching Cadel’s, but there was a kindness in it that sought to comfort him. Cadel slowly shook his head and smiled bitterly.
“If it’s a burden, it’s a...... blessing in disguise. I’m just pathetic. I’m a much lesser human being than I thought I was, and I don’t think I’ve ever realized it. I’m upset...... So yeah.”
“You are strict with yourself. Commander.”
“Right.”
Cadel let go of Garuel’s hand and let out a shallow sigh.
He knew the terrible truth, but he couldn’t let it keep him from being misled. He still had his subordinates by his side, subordinates who had given up so much for an insignificant commander.
He hoped that his unhappy anguish would not affect their lives. Even if he ended up sinking, they would have to rise to a very high place. For the lives he had greedily clutched in his sinful grasp deserved to be rewarded.
With a whimper, he pushed Garuel aside and swept Cadel into a bear hug. It was more of a fall than a hug, and Cadel had to strain his legs to buckle under the weight of the hulking fairy.
‘He can’t resist the Scarlet Dragon’s orders....... Was there some sort of contract between Kunra and Hesonia?’
The unexpected revelation raised questions, but he quickly dismissed them. For now, he had no intention of meeting with Kunra again, nor did he have the will to ask for more information.
Garuel reassured Cadel that Lydon was only weak from the depletion of his mana, but that there were no traumatic or internal injuries, and he naturally pulled Lydon, who was weighing Cadel down.
Lydon asked, dropping obediently but not taking his eyes off Cadel.
“Is it because of Hesonia that the Scarlet Dragon called Cadel?”
Hesonia hadn’t been mentioned at all in his conversation with Kunra, but Cadel nodded with an awkward smile.
“As expected of Commander.”
As Lydon fell, Van, who had been watching them from behind, approached.
“Are you hurt?”
Van’s face was a mess of sweat as he carefully asked the question. He had been running around the mountain so vigorously that his uniform was torn here and there.
Cadel felt worried and guilty that Van was so tired, but he didn’t express it right away. It would be fair to say that he was less than honorable.
One look at Van and Cadel had an unpleasant realization. Van Herdos was the first and last knight ‘Cadel Lytos’ recruited. He was an ally of ‘Cadel Lytos’ with memories that Shin Yeohwan didn’t know about.
If so, wouldn’t he be most influenced by Cadel Lytos when dealing with Van? Cadel realized that the feelings he had for Van, which he had so casually embraced until now, were growing distant like a lie.
“I’m fine.”
The words came out stiffly. He knew he shouldn’t, but he didn’t want to give Cadel Lytos any room to interfere with his emotions.
Van was slightly taken aback by Cadel’s uncharacteristic demeanor. He hesitated, then took a step toward Cadel, but Cadel did not allow him to approach.
“Commander—”
“We won’t see Kunra, no, the Scarlet Dragon, again until we’re out of the mountains, but that doesn’t mean we can relax, so starting tomorrow, we’ll be taking fewer breaks. Well, most of those breaks have been for me.”
Without hesitation, Cadel turned to face the others. He was sorry, but he didn’t have the energy to deal with Van right now. Though he hadn’t admitted it in front of everyone, Cadel was currently feeling extremely confused in the maelstrom of the newfound truth.
It was only for the sake of his subordinates that he could organize and plan as he usually did; it was his responsibility to them that drove him. So at a time like this, if his feelings for his subordinates were fueled by the suspicion that they might not even be his own, he would spiral downward.
It was a kind of self-defense. Though Van, bewildered by the sudden distance, would have no idea.
Cadel turned away bitterly, pretending not to see Van trying to say something to him.