Chapter 140 Looking for a Boyfriend

translator: Eve

The second his eyes met with that pair of dark, clear eyes, the cold expression on Song Xuanhe’s face froze. His gaze became a bit out-of-focus for a moment. When he realized that Xiao Yuanmu must have heard what he had just said, the tips of his ears flushed. Despite this, he maintained his composure.

He nodded slightly, as if he wasn’t surprised by the other’s appearance. His tone was extremely calm. “You’re back.”

Xiao Yuanmu’s gaze was fixed on Song Xuanhe. There was a myriad of emotions boiling in his eyes. It made Song Xuanhe want to look away.

The second before he looked away, Xiao Yuanmu made his way over, wrapping his arms tightly around Song Xuanhe. Xiao Yuanmu rested his chin on his shoulder and then pasted his soft, icy lips against Song Xuanhe’s neck. There was a raspy quality to his voice. “I’m back.”

Song Xuanhe didn’t know why, but Xiao Yuanmu gave off a weak and warm impression right now. Even though Song Xuanhe knew he was probably just imagining it, he still raised his hand and gently tousled the other’s hair. Quietly, he replied with a ‘mn.’

Xiao Yuanmu held Song Xuanhe quietly, enjoying the heat emitting from the other’s body. When he recalled the nightmare from three days ago that had made him unable to close his eyes again, he couldn’t help but tighten his hold.

“Yuanmu….”

Mrs. Xiao stood to the side. It was the first time she had seen her eldest son show such a dependent and soft side to him. It made her forget her alarm while throwing her into a sea of astonishment and bitterness.

Her feelings for Xiao Yuanmu were complicated. The first few years after Xiao Yuanmu’s disappearance, she had searched for him like mad. Even if she knew that the likelihood of her son surviving after being led away from the family by those malicious, unknown people, she had not given up for a second.

But later on, Xiao Lin had adopted a child to console her. That child had been lovable and quiet, but she hadn’t been able to accept him. She knew that it wasn’t her son and she couldn’t accept the fact that another child would get to enjoy everything that belonged to her missing son. That’s why she had rejected the child so vehemently.

The servants were very tactful. Gradually, they had stopped bringing the child in front of her. But even though the child wasn’t in sight, he still reminded her constantly of her missing child.

This only ended when she became pregnant with Xiao Baicong.

Once more, a little life emerged within her, their hearts beating as one. After ten months, he was born. She was more experienced this time and even more careful with her second son after the disappearance of her first. She didn’t let Xiao Baicong out of her sight.

Later on, as Xiao Baicong slowly grew up, she dedicated all her energy and emotions to him. This distracted her, leaving her no time to wonder whether her eldest son was alive, and if he was alive, what kind of horrible life he might be leading. She never had the courage to think about these things.

A little after that, she wiped all traces of her eldest son’s existence from her home, from the pictures and videos of him to his little toys. She had everything stored away. Gradually, signs of her eldest son’s existence disappeared while her youngest son grew up. She started to believe that she had only ever given birth to the little angel in front of her.

She meticulously raised Xiao Baicong and watched him grow up to the young adult he was today. The fact that he was still filial and gentle even after growing up made her soft. She wanted to give him the best the world had to offer. If he wanted the Xiao Family, she would help him take on the pressure and the criticisms. She was willing to do anything to ensure that he lived his entire life happy.

But very occasionally, she would become lost in thought when looking at her youngest son. She would imagine what her eldest son might have looked like, whether he would be as outstanding as her youngest son, whether he had all his needs met.

But as soon as these thoughts would form, she would block them from her mind. She would force herself to forget all these painful memories. She only hoped that their family of three could be happy like a normal family.

But all this changed when she saw the young man, who looked like her deceased brother and shared the same eyes as her youngest son.

She hadn’t needed any tests. She had known that this was her child. She had known that this was her eldest son, who her younger brother had loved to hold and carry. Her younger brother had often smiled at Xiao Lin and said that the boy was ‘just like his uncle’, that he would definitely be like him and like him after he grew up.

This was her eldest son. He had indeed become like her younger brother after growing up.

Because of him, all of the memories she had tried to bury became unearthed. She remembered how her brother had apologized to her before his death, apologized to Xiao Yuanmu. Her brother had always blamed himself for Xiao Yuanmu’s disappearance because, at that time, he had wanted to take Xiao Yuanmu to the park. And then, when he had gone upstairs to get something, a servant who had been tasked to look after Xiao Yuanmu had whisked him away.

That matter didn’t only gnaw on his heart, but on hers and Xiao Yuanmu’s as well. As Xiao Yuanmu’s parents, even if they knew that they shouldn’t blame her younger brother—no one could know that someone had infiltrated their residence and disguised themselves as the help—it was still difficult for them to smile at him now that their son had gone missing.

Her younger brother had died with guilt in his heart. This fact only made her all the more obsessed with finding her eldest son. It was the only light in her darkest times.

——But Xiao Baicong’s birth had dispelled all that darkness.

She was genuinely ecstatic to find Xiao Yuanmu. It wasn’t just her wish, but the long, cherished wish of her younger brother as well.

It was just that Xiao Yuanmu’s eyes were too cold.

He was not the child she had imagined. Even though she tried so hard to get closer to him, even though she had done everything she could to explain that they all wanted to get closer to them, even if she wanted to do everything she could to make it up to him…she had never seen any warmth in his eyes.

This was a highly ambitious child with a heart that would never warm up.

That had been the conclusion Mrs. Xiao had come to after finding out Xiao Yuanmu had mercilessly gotten rid of the people she had specifically cultivated for Xiao Baicong in several of the Xiao Family’s large corporations.

As she watched the confident, warm smile on her youngest son gradually disappear; watched how he had to focus on school while having to stay up late to manage the companies; watched how he lost weight and gained dark circles in his eyes; and finally listened to him ask her in a defeated voice, “Mom, am I really inferior to Gege,” a sliver of discontent towards her eldest son rapidly formed in her heart.

He already had RE. Everyone knew that he was extremely gifted in business. He already stood out in the crowd and had a place in these circles. Even Xiao Lin and the majority of the Xiao Family inwardly shifted the title of ‘successor’ over to him.

He already had so much, why couldn’t he give Congcong a little? Why couldn’t he treat his younger brother a little better, to reassure her that even if her husband and herself were no longer around, Xiao Yuanmu would be able to take care of the company and his younger brother?

That’s why she had looked for Song Xuanhe. She had hoped that he would help persuade Xiao Yuanmu, so that her heart could be rest assured.

Actually, before Song Xuanhe had said his piece, she had never thought that she was in the wrong. She was a mother. She loved both her sons. Was there anything wrong with wanting them to get along and help each other out? Even though Xiao Baicong used to fight for the successor title, he had already given up. So why was Xiao Yuanmu so cold to him? He even seemed indifferent at times.

That was his younger brother. That was the closest person to him in the world aside from his parents. How could she stand by and allow their relationship to remain cold like this?

But Song Xuanhe’s words had been like a slap to the face.

Xiao Baicong was wronged by having to give up the successor position. Then was Xiao Yuanmu not wronged, having been forced to suffer in the outside world for the last twenty plus years? Xiao Baicong could honourably give up in the battle for succession as her and Xiao Lin’s son. Xiao Yuanmu was also their son. So why did she think that Xiao Baicong was conceding when Xiao Yuanmu rightfully won the position as successor?

Compared to Xiao Yuanmu, Xiao Baicong possesses so much more. So why did she think Xiao Yuanmu was wildly ambitious?

After seeing the fury and pain for Xiao Yuanmu in Song Xuanhe’s eyes, after seeing the trusting, weak appearance of Xiao Yuanmu while he embraced Song Xuanhe, he suddenly realized how ridiculous her words had been. She had been so wrong and so unreasonable.

She was thoroughly biased towards her younger son. What right did she have to demand her eldest son to be as reliant and trusting towards her as her youngest son? She wasn’t worthy of his trust or dependence at all.

Now, her eldest son probably didn’t even want to give her even the most basic of trust and kinship after hearing what she had said.

But how could she give up on her eldest son after finally getting him back? Could she watch quietly while he treated her like she was a stranger?

Of course not! She had to explain herself!

“Yuanmu….”

Mrs. Xiao reached out and grabbed onto one of Xiao Yuanmu’s arms that were looped around Song Xuanhe’s waist. She also shifted his head, that was leaning against Song Xuanhe’s neck, so that he was now facing her.

“Mom didn’t mean anything by that. Mom only wanted to talk to Mr. Song. I don’t know how things got to that. Mom just wants you and your brother to get along….”

Mrs. Xiao’s voice gradually weakened under Xiao Yuanmu’s clear and tranquil gaze.

“I know, Mother.” Xiao Yuanmu lifted his chin off of Song Xuanhe’s shoulder but his arms were still tightly wound around the other’s waist. He continued to hold Song Xuanhe with a very dependent and possessive posture as he spoke to his mother. “I know what you want to say. You don’t need to apologize. I will not misunderstand. But I still have some things to attend to right now. Can I come see you another day?”

Xiao Yuanmu’s tone was the same as always. Mrs. Xiao didn’t know if it was because he really didn’t mind her words just now or if didn’t care because he had never let her into his heart.

Unfortunately, she could not get an answer from his ripple-less eyes.

Xiao Yuanmu was always calm and composed whenever he interacted with her—or anyone for the matter. It was impossible to read the emotions in his eyes.

It was only in front of the young man he was currently holding that he would become vibrant and alive.

Something flickered through Mrs. Xiao’s eyes as she quietly said, “Okay, Mom will go back first. Your father and I have been very worried about you after not being able to contact you for the last few days. Come see us when you’re free, okay?”

Xiao Yuanmu said ‘okay’ and Mrs. Xiao quietly left.

A second after the click of the door closing was heard, Xiao Yuanmu found Song Xuanhe’s lips. His cold but soft lips covered Song Xuanhe’s warm pair. There was a sense of urgency, passion and strength in his breath. Song Xuanhe couldn’t resist him.

And he didn’t want to resist either. Song Xuanhe responded enthusiastically to Xiao Yuanmu’s kiss. His hands stroked the other’s back, in what seemed like comfort but also provocation. Xiao Yuanmu paused, before continuing with more intensity and recklessness than before.

The temperature in the room gradually increased. Unwittingly, the two of them made their way from the living room to the bedroom, and from the bedroom to the bed. Song Xuanhe’s shirt had already been discarded somewhere and Xiao Yuanmu’s wicked hands were over his fair chest. His leather belt was also undone, revealing his underwear.

Xiao Yuanmu was in a similar state. His jacket had disappeared at some unknown point in them and Song Xuanhe had ripped his t-shirt to pieces. Parts of it still hung from his shoulders while Song Xuanhe undid his belt.

The two of them embraced impatiently. Except for the conversation they had in the beginning, no other words were exchanged. But for the first time, it felt like their hearts were linked. It felt like they knew what the other wanted to say, what the other desired. For the first time, they both wanted to become one with the other.

Everything felt right….

The author has something to say:

Shh!

Eve: Yeah, this is gonna be glossed over, if anyone wants to write the smutty fanfiction, go for it. But yeah, Mumu and Mrs. Xiao, it’s hard to pin the blame on either person. Because we know Mumu’s perspective, I am also biased towards him. As someone who has a strained and complicated relationship with one parent, I am even more biased against the mother. She may have truly loved him and genuinely want to get close, but sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is to let go. To give them the power to decide if and when they choose to open up their heart. And if they choose to never do that, the best thing you can do is accept it and hope for their happiness. Even if their happiness doesn’t include you.