49 Lost, just by the touch on the hand Part I
As soon as Bai Hua left Jiu Yu residence, the coldness that Bai Yu displayed in front of her half-sister disappeared. A drop of tear fell as she crumbled onto the floor.
She knew it was wrong to vent her anger on Bai Hua. She knew full well that Bai Hua was not the same person as that Song Lianhua. But still, those innocent, pretty faces that were identical made it impossible for her to endure.
In her last life, she was a world-class villainess. But what villainous thing did she do?
In this life, she was born a villainess. But what evil had she committed?
Violent. Unreasonable. Impatient. Stubborn.
Today, Bai Yu had committed them. Eventually, she became the true villainess. She laughed at herself even with tears streaking her face. She was not a good person, and she never proclaimed herself as one. If what happened today made her even more villainous, then she did not care.
“Don’t let mother know about what happened between me and Bai Hua today.” After wiping away her tears, she calmly gave an order.
Xiao Xi nodded in acquiescence. She and Xiao Chang saw everything from the beginning to the end. Xiao Xi was the one who drove other maids out, even though what she actually wanted to do was to inform first Furen how the third miss came and made her first miss cry. But she was stopped by Xiao Chang. The newly appointed maid could see that Bai Yu’s tears were not from sadness, but merely an outlet for her emotions.
“Would you like to take a bath, miss?” It was Xiao Chang who tried to change the topic.
.....
“Xiao Xi, prepare my meal.”
“Yes, miss.” The little maid immediately ran out.
“And you...” Bai Yu turned to Xiao Chang. She gave her a money ticket as she whispered an order. The maid nodded before taking a trusted male servant and leaving the mansion.
She wanted to send a ‘Thank you’ gift to someone.
“Haaahh”
When her two maids were gone, Bai Yu slowly pushed herself up. But no matter how much she tried, she only felt that this body was too heavy, that her arms could not carry its weight. In the end, Bai Yu had to give up and sit back down.
Her tears started flowing again. She told herself that it was enough, that she had vented her emotions enough, that she should stand up and continue living again. Because of the pain she had experienced in her past life, there was no longer a sense of weakness for her to feel anymore. Still, the weight that exceeded her strength made Bai Yu unable to use her arms to get up. She could not carry the weight of all these emotions, after all.
“Yu-er”
A gentle voice sounded the same time as a warm embrace took over her. Her mother’s soft hand stroked her hair. It was a touch that let out all the tears she had been withholding and made them unstoppably flow almost throughout the night.
Yue Mei hugged her daughter who was the apple of her eyes. She felt her heart break when she saw the face that she had always cherished streaked with tears. Her darling daughter’s beautiful eyes were filled with pain and confusion. Yue Mei did not know what she had gone through, but she knew how useless she felt for not being able to protect her daughter from it. As a mother, the most she could do was to sleep beside her and hug her like when Bai Yu was an infant who only knew how to cry.
That night, Bai Yu fell asleep in her mother’s arms that she had not felt for more than ten years.
———————-
“Going to stay at your grandfather’s?”
“That’s right, mother.”
“What’re you going to do there? It was no different from a barrack.”
“I want to practice martial arts.”
“You’re a woman. Your duty is to give birth to a son and continue the bloodline. What do you need martial arts for?” The more she listened, the more Yue Mei disagreed with her daughter’s request.
“In case that one day my duty is not just to give birth to a son, mother.”
“Nonsense!”
“Mother...” She decided to use a begging tone after failing to convince Yue Mei. As for Yue Mei, her daughter who she had been consoling all night woke up the next morning and suddenly asked to go train martial arts at the mansion of her grandfather, general Yue.
The request was brought up to her for two full days. No matter how many times she refused, her daughter would pester her again and again. These two days Yue Mei did not know what to do to dissuade her daughter from the idea. She even sent a magic messenger to ask for help from Bai He, but she had yet to receive a reply. Still, she was not even sure if the doting brother could stop his sister.
“Mother, all along, no matter what you teach me I always learn without any objection. This is the first time I’m making a request. Can’t mother allow me this one time?”
“I...” Before she could refuse for the third time. Her daughter’s tear-streaked face appeared in Yue Mei’s mind. At that time, her Yu-er was so weak and fragile. She could not help if her daughter revealed nothing, but if she let her do as she wanted...will this be considered helping?
“Never go near the soldiers.”
“Yes, mother.”
“Never train alone. You must only train when you’re with your grandfather or under Shifu’s* guidance.”
“Yes, mother.”
“Never let yourself be bruised. If I see even a tiniest wound on your face, I’ll forbid you from training immediately.”
“Yes, mother.”
“You must also practice your guqin as well.”
“Yes, mother.”
“You must-”
“Yes, mother.”
“I haven’t said anything yet!”
“Yes, mother!” Bai Yu hugged her mother’s waist. She nuzzled her face against the shoulder that she had cried on several nights ago. The smiles on both the mother and daughter made the newcomer also smile in response.
“What’re you talking about? Can I join?”
“Greetings to father.” Bai Yu stood up and curtsied.
“Is something the matter, Furen?” After receiving a curtsy from his daughter, Bai Han who had just come back from the morning meeting joined in on the conversation. He received a teacup from Bai Yu to drink, feeling especially refreshed. It was not often for Bai Yu to act this way toward him. Lately, she had been unusually sweet.
“I’m going to tell you that I’m sending our Yu-er to stay at father’s place.” Her mother initially disagreed, but when her father appeared, she did the persuasion for her. Bai Yu concealed a smile for her success this time.
“Going to the Yue mansion? What is Yu-er going to do there?”
“To visit-”
“To practice martial arts!” Bai Yu intentionally interrupted her mother before she could lie. Yue Mei was probably thinking that if she told him the truth, Bai Han would not agree to it easily. As for Bai Yu, she told the truth outright because she wanted to see her mother use her charm against her own husband. Maybe her father and mother will become closer. Hehe.
“You’re a lady. Before marriage, you have to obey your father, after you marry, you’ll obey your husband, and when your husband dies, you’ll obey your son. Things like martial arts should be left to men.” Bai Han frowned but did not show anger. Her father must be quite level-headed.
“It’s been several years since Yu-er became of age, yet she still hasn’t married into any family. Our daughter is already beautiful and flawless, so I see nothing wrong with her learning some martial arts to protect herself.” Yue Mei spoke more calmly and sweetly than any time she talked to her husband.
“But...”
“Don’t you want our daughter to be strong like me, dear?” This time her mother used her trump card. Bai Han was rendered speechless since he fell in love with her in the first place because she was both beautiful and strong.
“How’s she going to live there, then? The mansion is full of soldiers.”
“But it’s also the place I grew up in. There’s no need for you to worry.” She put her hand on Bai Han’s. The head of the Bai family immediately tensed up.
Ever since what happened with Li Rong, the time he did mistake, this was the first time that Bai Han was this close to Yue Mei. Today, she was exceptionally attentive toward him.
“Then I’ll leave the decision to Furen.”
“Thank you, dear.”
“Thank you, father.”
I’ll never forget that father lost just by a touch on the hand of mother!
——————-
The villainess stayed and talked to her father and mother for a while before leaving with the excuse that she wanted to prepare her belongings. The truth was, she wanted her father and mother to have more alone time which was not during breakfast.
Today she was thinking of sending designs for clothes that were practical and more suitable for training martial arts. However, she also needed feminine dresses to wear in everyday life as well, since she had thrown away most of them. Bai Yu drafted up two styles of clothes that were simple but different from normal clothes in this era. This time, she sent the designs to the Bai family’s personal tailor shop, along with a chest of fabrics that she picked out from what she had been given at the palace. She also specified in the order that she wanted them made as soon as possible.
In the night that she cried herself to sleep in her mother’s arms, Bai Yu realized that she was at her lowest point, but, at the same time, she finally received a motherly love that she had been yearning for. There was nothing else for her to fear, so the next morning she begged her mother for permission to go train at her grandfather’s mansion, the place where experts in martial arts and magic gathered.
She decided so for fear that an unexpected event would happen again. Moreover, she had sent Xiao Chang to investigate something which made her finally find the identity of the one behind the incident in the woods. The answer did not deviate from what Bai Yu had expected. This time, Xiao Chang was the one who both did the investigation and prepared a ‘present’ for her so swiftly and cleanly.
While Bai Yu was watching maids preparing her belongings for tomorrow’s departure, a black light appeared in the form of a palm-sized great eagle and flew in front of her. It disappeared, turning into a letter in a black cloth sleeve.
.....
‘I heard from mother that you want to learn martial arts. She wanted me to stop you from your funny ideas, but I actually agree with you. I was already informed that you were targeted. Even from afar, big brother’s still worried about you. What happened that day made me realize that I can’t protect you forever. Train hard, and come take this big brother back home with you.
With all my love,
Big brother’
.....
She beamed so wide that two dimples appeared on her cheeks. Bai Yu was glad to receive this letter. Sending magic messengers was quick but wasted quite an amount of magic. However, it was a trivial matter for her brother.
Bai Yu went around to find paper and brush by herself as she let the maids continue with their work. But before she could start writing, the black magic eagle appeared in front of her again. Bai Yu accepted another small letter and opened it.
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*Shifu: A master who teaches a certain skill