Chapter 56

56 When you were there, benwang couldn’t see you as well Part II

Bai Yu drawled before moving away from him. A while ago she was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she stood too close to him. She straightened her back to stand stably next to the other person. His beautiful face turned the other way, toward where the banquet was being held.

Bai Yu followed his golden gaze. It was then that she realized she was brought to one of the lookout points used by the royal guards. From here, the grand banquet became a diorama. She could see every guest, but it was impossible to know who they are looking at. The faint sound of music was carried here by the winter breeze. If Ouyang Feilong had told her he was coming here, she would have brought a shawl with her too.

“Can you see your brother in this banquet?” Ouyang Feilong’s voice was calm. It was not cold, nor mocking. Light snow began falling down, making the scenery in front of them even more ethereal.

“I can’t see him at all.” Bai Yu answered truthfully, without intending to irritate him. She knew that Ouyang Feilong right now wanted to tell her something important, otherwise, he would not go out of his way to bring her here despite his distaste for intimacy with women.

“When you were there, benwang couldn’t see you as well.”

Bai Yu turned to look at him. Was this a love confession? What kind of message was he sending here?

“What does Your Highness mean?”

“From here, what benwang sees is small, indistinguishable dots. Benwang only knows that there are only competitions in the banquet. No friendship, only masks.”

Bai Yu frowned at the rare long sentence from this man beside her who was gazing at the faraway scene in front of them.

.....

Competing with each other. Forging fake alliances. Were these not a typical thing for the noble?

“In the banquet, what were you competing with?”

With one sentence, he pulled disturbances she had felt back to the surface. Bai Yu now understood what Ouyang Feilong wanted to say. Her loss back there had muddled her thoughts, yet she never asked herself the same question that Ouyang Feilong did. Right now, she had no answer for herself.

But from that question...She had an answer that she was not quite certain about for Ouyang Feilong.

That’s right! She was Bai Yu. The woman whom fate had dictated to be the villainess. Obviously, she was competing with Bai Hua, and she did not want to lose to both fate and the heroine! And she had never expected that she would lose because of her own recklessness...

Ouyang Feilong turned his gaze to the person who was deep in thoughts. His golden eyes looked back at the banquet again before continuing.

“If you’re competing with someone else, then you’re just a small dot for them. And you’ll never escape from that...”

“...”

“...But if you’re competing with yourself, someday you will become bigger and benwang will be able to clearly see you even from here...”

Bai Yu looked in front of her...A while ago, she was that small.

“...Now can you answer benwang what you’re competing with?”

Bai Yu did not give Ouyang Feilong a reply.

She asked herself the same question, repeatedly. What was she really competing with? What was all her efforts for?

Since she came to this world, Bai Yu tried to escape fate by winning over Bai Hua. She told herself that as long as she did not lose to Bai Hua, she would not lose to fate. But even when avoiding committing acts that would create karma, again and again, she still ended up on the path that fate had determined for her.

This new Bai Yu had never walked away from this same spot.

“You...” She spoke in a low voice and did not even call him ‘Your Highness’ but Ouyang Feilong did not take offense. He turned toward her to find that Bai Yu was looking at him as well.

“How did you escape from it?”

The trembling gaze from the dark eyes was sent along with the question. Ouyang Feilong stared deep into her eyes to find the meaning within, and then he understood. He was certain that he had seen this same gaze from her when she was weeping on the ground, seeming as if she could shatter into a million pieces and be blown away by the wind. Back then, he did not care and left her in those disturbances.

But on the day that he had lost the false hope he had used to deceive himself for many years, these eyes looked at him with so full and deep understanding that he could feel her heart.

Though Ouyang Feilong did not quite understand the phrase that Bai Yu said to him that night, he could feel the straightforward well wishes she had for him. In this world, he was not the only one who was so hopelessly hurt by love. He might be invincible in everything else, but this was the only thing that could bring the black dragon to its knees.

In truth, his gold level magic had been sealed away for many years. He concealed it in order to not pose a threat toward his older brother since he knew that his mother would be angered by it. The magic that was held within the dynasty’s jade was released today, the same as this beautiful face that he revealed to the public.

In Empress Dowager Wei’s eyes, Ouyang Feilong was always competing with his brother, Ouyang Hongxian. But that was entirely false. No matter how strong he strived to be for his mother’s sake, he was willing to forsake it and stay within Ouyang Hongxian’s shadow, only because his mother wished so.

Today, he was free from that imaginary competition. Himself alone was the most significant rival. Bai He often told stories about his beloved sister to Ouyang Feilong. Every time a small butterfly came with a letter, the lieutenant general who cherished his sister above all else would rush to tell him of the letter’s content, seeing Ouyang Feilong as his own older brother.

Ouyang Feilong had learned about Bai Yu through Bai He all along. He pitied her for her inability to capture the heart of the man she loved and devoted her life to. He wondered what kind of man Ouyang Mingxian was, why he never had this beauty in his eyes, even when Bai Yu willingly slighted Taizi Ouyang Yongxian because of her love for him.

When he returned to the capital and witnessed Bai Yu’s wiles, he did not want to even stand close to the woman who he had pitied. Not because she was more repulsive than anyone, but because she was like him so much!

Though Bai Yu was wicked and deceitful, he had to accept that they were alike. The high status that came with perfection surrounding all aspects of their lives, still they were unable to draw a glance from the person they love. They were nothing in the eyes of their beloved ones.

Thus, no matter what true nature Bai Yu possessed. He would repay her by guiding her a way out of this miserable competition.

“Benwang will tell you...” Tell you what to do to live on, even without that love you dream of.

Ouyang Feilong moved to face the woman who was staring at him. She tilted her head up to get a better look at his face when he stepped closer. Gold and black met. Ouyang Feilong gazed into the eyes of the woman who he both hated and felt a connection to.

The hand that often pulled on Bai Yu’s arms every time they met lightly lay on the dark hairs tied into an elaborate shape. Warmth transmitted throughout her body, amidst the pure white that silently fell from the sky.

A gold hairpin was pulled out by a large hand. All the heavy accessories on Bai Yu’s head were slowly and methodically taken out. It was as if this time...Ouyang Feilong was being gentle to her the most he could.

It had taken a long time to tie up and decorate her hair like this, but Ouyang Feilong’s action did not anger Bai Yu at all. She did not feel that he was sabotaging what she had spent a considerable effort to attain. It was as if she was fixed to the spot by his golden eyes. Charmed.

Not long, everything was removed. Her jet black hair was freely let down like a black waterfall.

The weight that was pressing on her head was gone. The same as those exquisite pieces of jewelry. Beautiful but heavy hairpins were thrown away, their worth abandoned.

His large hand lightly brushed away snow from her hair.

“Benwang will tell you...” The owner of the bright golden eyes slowly said. His few words could mysteriously blow away dark clouds in Bai Yu’s heart. “If you want to become a new person, you have to let go.”

If you want to win over the woman Ouyang Mingxian loved, then the first thing you must do was to let go and win against yourself first. When you recognized your own worth, others would then be able to see it too.

And one day...You will become big enough for Ouyang Mingxian to see you in his eyes.

And if that day truly existed...

Your heart would not have to break like mine.