Book 5: Chapter 47: The Second Round

Book 5: Chapter 47: The Second Round

Nearly a day had passed when Zeke found himself standing before the Mana Purifying device once more. His gaze was conflicted as he stared at the entrance. On one hand, he was eager to activate the machine and immerse himself in its bliss. On the other, he already dreaded the agony of leaving it behind.

“Are you certain I am ready?” he asked mentally, trying to find a reason to delay the inevitable.

[Answer]

All signs of the aftermath have been purged. No further abnormalities detected.

Zeke grimaced. He had tried his best to avoid thinking about this moment, but there was no logical reason for him not to go back in. At first, distraction came easily—there was plenty to do. He even managed another round of poison treatment, using the more potent version of the Progenitor. Yet, compared to the agony of the Mana Purification device, it had been manageable.

Zeke wavered for a moment, but then his resolve hardened. When had he ever shied away from a challenge or cowered before pain? That wasn’t his way, and he would never let it become so. To rise above everyone else, he needed the mental fortitude worthy of that position—and this was his moment to prove it.

Without any more hesitation, he stepped inside the chamber and locked the door behind him. “I am ready.” The now familiar clicking and clacking echoed through the chamber a moment later, and Zeke took his customary place in the center.

Thankfully, there was no lingering stench from his vomit nor any trace of the mess he had made. Akasha must have taken care of it while he was distracted. Having such a capable assistant was truly a blessing. It was easy to overlook how much the spirit did for him behind the scenes. If Zeke wasn’t careful, he might one day even forget how to wipe his own ass.

With a soft hiss, the gas began to fill the chamber, and soon, he was fully immersed in it once again. For a moment, Zeke feared his memory of the sensation had been idealized, that it couldn’t have been as pleasurable as he remembered. But the moment he took his first breath of the gas, all those doubts vanished.

A shiver ran down his back, and goosebumps erupted all over his skin. His entire body felt sensitive while being simultaneously filled with energy. Had the sensation gotten even stronger?

He... He never wanted to leave again.

Zeke clamped down on those thoughts and tried to get used to the euphoric state of his body. The same as last time, it took him a few minutes before he could even begin to form coherent thoughts. When his mind had somewhat cleared, he slowly began to pick up where he had left off.

No matter what else was happening, he still needed to find a way to break through to the Grand Mage level. Yet, Zeke had a strong feeling that this research went beyond that. With each new insight, he came closer to understanding his true path. It was as if he could finally glimpse the outline of the Mage he was destined to become.

Picking up where he left off was easier than expected. Whether it was the environment or how his previous stay had primed his body, Zeke quickly slipped back into deep meditation. In no time, he was fully immersed in his studies, where time lost all meaning, and not a single thought was spent on the inevitable moment he'd have to leave the chamber again.

At least, not until Akasha whispered in his mind...

[Notice]

Commander Frost is expected to arrive in a short while.

Zeke heard the words but couldn’t make sense of them. Frost? Who was that? And why was he coming here? He took another deep inhale of the gas, nearly slipping back into his research. But before he could, memories surged through him like a bolt of lightning. All of a sudden, he was wide awake; the adrenaline shooting through his veins had driven away all languidness or sense of comfort.

It was time... He would have to face the withdrawal again.

This was exactly the problem. His rational mind had kept reminding him of all these facts:

...The risk was not worth the reward.

...He didn’t owe the tribe anything.

...There was no need to do this.

...It was dangerous.

...Irrational.

...Bad.

Slap!

Before his mind could spiral any further, Zeke slapped his cheeks with both hands. That wasn’t his rational mind talking, but his fear. The dread had sunken so deep into his bones that he was all too eager to talk himself out of his own choice.

Thankfully, there was a different voice in his mind—one that never claimed to be rational. It was a voice that stemmed from his spite, his pride, and his arrogance. Though it wasn’t loud, it cut through the clamor of his panicked thoughts.

“I will not stop. I will not surrender—I will never surrender.”

Zeke felt his back straighten, and his mind began to calm. He had always known that he was a stubborn person, but it was surprising to learn that it was the one quality that triumphed over all the others. He took in a large gulp of air, the action stinging his lungs. However, the pain helped to fully clear his thoughts.

He looked up and met Gravitas’s eyes. “Did Frost arrive?”

Gravitas eyed him a moment longer before nodding.

“Can you tell him that I’ll be right there?”

Another nod, and Zeke soon found himself alone in his room once more. Dismissing Gravitas’ concern had been unpleasant, but he lacked the energy to explain. It was hard enough to convince himself, let alone others. But he had made his choice, and he wouldn’t allow doubt or fear to steer him away from it.

Zeke studied his reflection in the mirror, attempting to appear dignified, but he fell short. He looked like a beaten dog, and despite his earlier words, the usual fire in his eyes was missing. Ignoring problems rarely solved them and deciding to endure didn’t make everything magically better.

After a few more attempts, he decided to give up. It didn’t matter if Frost and his people saw him weak; It had never been his power that had kept them in line in the first place. With an awkward gait, he headed to the portal room.

His daily tasks would provide a welcome distraction before he had to confront his demons again...