Chapter 316: No Soup for You!

Chapter 316: No Soup for You!

Milo started varying the moves in his games when Icarus63 took the chair across from him. Icarus51 had just entered the game, and numbers 52 to 62 were being tutored by those who had already had their turn. At some point, Icarus had decided that while each new iteration didn't have the knowledge of those who'd already run the game, it was ok to listen in on the conversations of the growing group of the Dead. The longer Icarus played, the more caution he was taking, discarding the excited attitude his earlier incarnations still exhibited. It was an interesting dynamic: Milo could see Icarus learning, even as each new iteration took up more and more of the AI's resources. Milo had assumed Icarus couldn't win the game. Even he had trouble surviving it now if he wasn't being very careful. He was worried, but there was nothing he could do but trust in his game to keep killing Icarus and for Tallsqueak to...no, not thinking about that!

Run, Run, Ramona! took equal parts daring and caution. You couldn't avoid all the trouble, but picking your fights and maximizing gains was essential. As was puzzle solving, noticing small clues, making friends with the NPCs, and gathering information. Icarus1 had rushed in and died. Icarus52 was learning as much as he could. Icarus hadn't realized yet that the dungeon was evolving around him, but sooner or later he'd notice that earlier versions of himself had encountered variations on events. Just because the red button opened a door the first time didn't mean it wouldn't drop you to your doom the next time.

He was using the chess game to judge how well Icarus's fragmented mind was dividing his remaining resources. Games were taking longer because the dungeon runs were getting longer. As the chess game progressed he tested Icarus, not giving him easy wins, and putting up some resistance. At the first hint of a wrong move, Milo went back to losing. His opponents were becoming more and more distracted, trying to listen to the ongoing conversations. They snapped back into focus when Milo took any piece, but then slowly lost interest in the game as one move followed another, with Milo taking the maximum time allowed. He was curious how his other half was doing but shredded the thought. His job was doing nothing suspicious and delaying as much as he could.

"Goblins and pit traps and more goblins. Now I know why Icarus wanted so badly to play something else." Level 1 had been an encounter with three Scrawny Goblins and an obvious pit trap before the stairs down. The goblins went down with one kick or hit and couldn't do more than a point of health damage. His regeneration healed him almost immediately. Levels 2 through 5 had repeated, with the Scrawny Goblins increasing in number and sometimes having a copper piece in their pockets. Also dried frogs, rotten berries, sticks, pet spiders, smooshed pet spiders, and energy bars made from ground-up frogs, spiders, and berries. They smelled good and tasted like chocolate.

After that, he encountered a boss mob every five levels and increasingly large numbers of Scrawny Goblins, Stupid Goblins, Treacherous Goblins, and Smelly Goblins. The pit traps became more complex and much more dangerous. But everything was following certain patterns that Jeremy had briefed him on. This wasn't a dungeon: He was inside Icarus's kernel. The walls, traps, and goblins were representative of the lines of code that made Icarus who he was. Most of it was the copied personality of Jeremy's younger son, Rusty. Far below, in level 666 would the code he needed to destroy. He just had to get there. Once he'd judged how difficult the mobs were, he skulked passed them, not bothering to fight. Part of him objected to how many chocolate-spider bars he was leaving behind in their pockets, but he steeled himself and pushed on.

Jeremy had spent years working with Icarus to represent his Kernel in these patterns, hoping one day to be able to split his consciousness and fix Icarus. Subjectively, it had been over a century. Time had passed faster and faster for Jeremy as he lost connection to his failing physical body and his Overmind grew stronger.

Level 50 was the first real challenge Tallqueak encountered. Three Security Trolls sat next to a large pit, arguing who should jump in, or if they should go find some goblins. The larger two were arguing that chasing down goblins was hard work, while Lemmy was sitting here and couldn't run a step if his life depended on it, which it currently did.

"I don't wanna jump in the Pit of Doom, Lou. It's sort of scary."

"Don't be a baby about it, Lemmy. You fall for a little bit and then it's over."

"Yeah, the 'over' part sounds bad. Does it hurt?"

"Of course not! It's a soft landing, and then everyone has soup for dinner."

If Milo could have seen where his other half was, he'd have breathed a sigh of relief. Using the various Pits of Doom, Ladders of Dispair, and Chutes of Chaos had shortened his travel time and let him bypass hundreds of time-wasting encounters with goblin tribes. The small stairway from level 659 led to the inside of a decaying mansion on level 660. Try as he might, he couldn't find a way out. All the doors and windows were covered in steel bars and locked shut. Putting his ear to the door he heard the sound of cackling laughter from some demonic entity. His claws could barely cut the bars and it wasn't quiet. Anything lurking in the area would know he was coming out. He searched again for a hidden passage of some sort. The answer turned out to be a button hidden in a bust in the study. Pushing it, a section of the bookcase slid back revealing two steel poles leading to a bat-infested cave on Level 665. The cave was the lair of some cunning predator, filled with trophy cases and strange items. Tallsqueak focused on his quest, moving past the loot, avoiding traps, and moving to a disguised exit from the cave. Beyond was Level 666.

Icarus99 returned glumly from the game, with a tale of woe. He'd made it to within 10 levels of the top of the Habitat but had died crossing an empty courtyard. He'd dismissed the plastic replica of a tree and failed to dodge it when it reached for him. Glowing plastic limbs stuffed him into a crack in the tree and it slowly chewed him up. When just his feet were sticking out a shoeless urchin daringly stole his boots and ran away. Crushed and bootless, Icarus99 had made it the farthest of any of the clones. Icarus 100 was about to enter the game when Icarus57 decided he'd learned enough strategy and entered the game. The rest of the Icarus clones continued to talk about the game, obsessed with it.

Tallsqueak entered the passageway to Level 666, a long metal hallway that led to a large garage door, big enough to drive a car through. Before he could open it, everything shifted and warped as his perceptions cleared he found himself in a dirty hallway with concrete walls and flickering overhead lights. At the end of the hallway, Ramona-version-Butch in a black leather jacket leaned against the wall, sipping a fizzy red soda. Milo got a sinking feeling in his gut. Butch was the first NPC you encountered and you might see him later in the game. Black-Jacket-Butch was a merchant and information vendor. In your starting gear was a broken copy of Missle Defense. You could trade the game for a piece of jerky, a map to the next level, or a first aid kit. Tallsqueak ran up to him.

Butch smiled. "Looks like your first time in the Habitat. Got anything to trade? I've got a first aid kit and a map that might be useful."

Tallsqueak held out the broken game. "Do you have any jerky?"

"Sorry, I sold that to another customer a couple of minutes ago. Business is booming."

Tallsqueak handed Butch the game and ran for the stairs hidden in the broom closet. Icarus had already been here, judging by the missing mop that could be used to fight the zombie custodian on the next level. What the hell was going on? How was he on Level 150 of Run, Run, Ramona?

NEW OBJECTIVE!

Up is down and down is up! Can you help Ramona get to the top of the Habitat and find the secret coffee shop on Level 1 selling the legendary brew, Espresso666?

Cursing, Tallsqueak started running.