Book 7: Chapter Ten – Wisdom
Mindful of Fu Ruolans words, Sen relieved Glimmer of Night from watching over Liu Ai. Granted, it mostly involved telling the spider he didnt need to stand at the girls door, but Sen found it relieving that she hadnt been left entirely alone. That thought sparked more than a little guilt. He was so used to being responsible only for himself, that hed fallen into that mindset immediately when he went searching for Falling Leaf and damned nine-tailed fox. Unlike Falling Leaf, Liu Ai couldnt take care of herself. He hadnt given it a single thought. He hadnt truly left her alone, but he couldnt simply expect Glimmer of Night to watch her all the time. The spider hadnt taken responsibility for her, after all. I cant run off like that anymore, thought Sen as watched the little girl sleeping for a moment. He was once more struck by how much bigger the scope of what hed taken on really was compared to what hed imagined.
How was she? Sen asked, turning his eyes away from the partially open door to the spider.
The spider looked at him with that unreadable expression. Upset. Afraid.
Sen nodded. I owe you an apology. I shouldnt have left you here with her like that. It wasnt fair to either of you. I wont let it happen again.
The spider shrugged. The child is not offensive. Also, the nascent soul cultivator helped. She made food. Told stories.
That surprised Sen. He tried to imagine Fu Ruolan being comforting and found it more than a little difficult to picture. However, the spiders complete lack of incentive to lie gave the whole thing a certain air of truth. That meant Sen was doubly indebted to the woman for stepping in when hed failed so spectacularly. It wasnt a comfortable feeling. Sen eyed Glimmer of Night and wished he had a better sense of the spider. It wasnt as though they had made any kind of formal agreement or spent a lot of time together. Truth be told, Sen had thought the transformed spider would just wander off one day.
I cant imagine this is what you expected when you came with me, said Sen. I doubt its what your Great Matriarch had in mind either. If you want to leave, I certainly wont hold it against you.
Glimmer of Night didnt respond immediately. He looked at Sen for a time. Then, he looked through the door at Ai.
I will stay, said the spider.Geett your favorite novels at novelhall.com
Sen waited for some kind of elaboration that it became increasingly clear that the spider wasnt going to provide.
Any particular reason why? prompted Sen.
That question was met with another protracted pause before Glimmer of Night finally said, I was sent to learn. I am learning.
About what? asked Sen.
Humans. Cultivation. You.
Sen nodded. I expect thats exactly what it is for many.
Then, why ignore wisdom that is freely offered?
What a question, thought Sen. Like I have any real idea. Still, he thought he should take a stab at it. If the Great Matriarch had sent the spider to learn from him, Sen supposed she must think he had something worthwhile to offer.
Pride, I guess. Its easier to think that youre right than accept that someone else knows better. Its also in our nature to question and confront. Asking questions is a way to get information, but its also a way to test our thoughts and ideas. The things other people tell us can shape how we see the world and how we understand truths. Not every person rejects the wisdom they receive. Of course, not every elder is truly wise. Everyone can be blind in some way.
Is that true of you? Are you blinded in some way? asked Glimmer of Night, seeming truly curious for the first time.
Me? Very much so. It happened today. I was blinded by anger at Laughing River. It made me forget that I had other responsibilities.
Will knowing this change what you do?
Sen actually let out a tired laugh at that question. If people were reasonable, it should and would change what I do. But people arent always reasonable. Changing things about yourself is hard for humans. Emotions are Well, for humans, theyre powerful and unpredictable. Its hard to see past them to the best course of action sometimes. Is that not the case for spiders?
The spider considered that question for a long time before shaking his head. We dont feel things this way. We have anger, fear, and even affection, but they rarely overwhelm us. To survive, to hunt, one must be calm and patient. When emotions overwhelm us, we become the prey of others instead of the hunters.
I guess that makes sense. Humans do tend to band together. It makes things a bit safer. It certainly lets us indulge our emotions more, said Sen before hauling in his curiosity. You dont need to stay and talk with me if youd like to be alone or to sleep.
The spider didnt hesitate. Ill go. I wish to rest.
Thank you for watching over Ai for me. I appreciate it.
Glimmer of Night just nodded before disappearing out the door to return to his own little dwelling. Sen had helped him set it up when they first arrived. Sen would have just made another galehouse, but the spider wanted something smaller, round, and without rooms in it. It struck Sen as odd, but he raised it to make the requests. At some point, he might even ask the spider about it. In the meantime, he pulled a chair out of his storage ring and put it down near Liu Ais door. That way, hed be one of the first things she saw when she got up in the morning.