"Well, now… it looks like I don't have any other choice."
Someone once said: if you want something, you must sacrifice something of equal value to obtain it. It was the law of the equivalent exchange. That law applied to most things in the physical realm. For example: to build something big and durable, one's has to spend time learning how to build it and then spent perhaps even more time building it. It was a troublesome process, but it wouldn't leave any pitfalls along the way. To obtain unlimited power… Leon will have to sacrifice his memories; he will have to sacrifice who he was.
"Well, by doing this, at very least, I won't become someone unreasonably greedy like that fucking monster… I just hope this will be enough."
As long as Ilyana, his kids, and his friends receive back their lives, Leon was fine with it. Although most of his memories were filled with hard memories, the few moments where he felt happy were already more than enough to him. To sacrifice himself to those who he loved was something that was only natural to Leon because, without them, he wouldn't have never felt happy like he once felt. Besides, it was a cheap price, considering how much he could obtain if he succeeds. Still, then again, Leon felt as if he was getting ahead of himself, considering the best possible outcome when he hadn't even discovered a new type of energy yet.
"In any case, the only thing I can use it here as fuel are my memories, but how do I do that?"
Leon was aware that he couldn't use mana's knowledge to solve that question because it could make him lose the edge over that monster. He couldn't lose anymore, Leon had to win and kill the beast, but he wouldn't mind banishing that thing to another universe as long as he is sure that he won't be bothered by it anymore. Leon couldn't be greedy and want to kill a monster that had the power to destroy all life in the universe was insane if not just wishful thinking.
Suddenly, that sensation returned. Leon felt his existence getting smaller once again and, at the same time, felt that he lost an important piece of himself. Although he was curious about what memories he lost this time, Leon decided to focus on that feeling that he had. It was insane, but maybe the process that was slowly leading him to his doom would actually help him solve that enigma.
"Feel… try to feel where those memories had gone… try to control my memories the same manner. You can do it, Leon. You have to succeed."
Despite wishing for all his might, Leon didn't manage to feel what happened to those pieces of him that disappeared. If he was in the void, perhaps the very moment those pieces separate from his mind, they disappear forever. That means that Leon couldn't recover them…
"Shit… I need something. Just a single clue will be enough."
Leon could use his mind to think. He could recall most of his memories. At least, the most intense ones at that moment. However, he couldn't make them burn as fuel. He recalled the feeling of mana exhaustion and tried to replicate it. Even though he didn't want his power to have such a weakness, but right now, he needed anything to help him find his answer. However, he failed in doing that…
"I already knew this would be difficult, but… damn."
It was only obvious doing something magic without mana would be difficult. Leon was trying to create a new concept of mana, after all. He was trying to accomplish many crazy things, revive alone, defeat a monster that is looking for God, use Reset without deleting everyone's memories… Still, he couldn't help but be impatient. To do just one of those things, he will have to sacrifice who knows how many memories, and there was a chance that he might not even find that monster anymore. So, Leon thought that it was natural to feel that way.
Leon lost the notion of time while he was thinking about what to do, and then it happened again. A fragment of his mind begun to detach itself from his mind, but this time he didn't let that happen without trying anything. While thinking as fast as possible, Leon identified the memories that he was losing and used all his willpower to recall those moments in order not to lose them. Suddenly, Leon felt that the process ended, and he didn't lose his memories… it was weird to succeed like that, but Leon didn't think too much about it. After all, the memories he almost lost were related to his first months on that island. That was probably why he identified that so fast.
"If I can stop his process, then I definitely can turn my memories into power."
Leon succeeded in protecting his memories, but then after a while, he tried to replicate the reverse process. Trying to separate them from his existence without risking losing them. It was risky, but at that point in time, there was no point in hesitating. Besides, he already witnessed that process a few times, so Leon was a bit confident in doing it. However, time and time again, he failed. Leon failed in making his memories become energy.
Suddenly, Leon succeeded in detaching the memories of the time he spent inside the galactic snake. However, even though he succeeded in preventing the memory loss when it happened naturally, he failed in doing that when it happened by his own will. Leon didn't give up, yet, he was having difficulty reliving those moments while keeping his concentration. Suddenly, the process ended, and Leon felt those fragments returning to his mind. However, he couldn't remember anymore what memories he was trying to protect. While Leon was reflecting on that failure, he noticed something odd… he was feeling cold.