CH 5

—Monday, December 23rd

Jiang Yan Yi, this name is so nice.

This name and the owner of it, I like both.

But it’s ridiculous how I only knew his name through other people’s gossip.

… 

Tuesday, March 24th

I’ve seen him for several months in a row, but today I haven’t.—

…

On Christmas Eve, everyone in the class gathered and held a party at the KTV near the school.

The party was incredibly lively, with laughter and singing filling the entire space.

The boys were singing, and most of the girls were sitting on the sofa chatting.

Someone suddenly asked, “Hey, why didn’t Lin Shu come?”

“Oh right, where is she?”

Hearing this, Yu Xiao Tong also looked around, “It seems that she didn’t come.”

So everyone looked at Lin Shu’s best friend, Fang Qin.

Fang Qin noticed everyone’s curious eyes, stunned for a few seconds, and stammered, “Ah, I… I don’t really know, but it seems to be because…”

Yu Xiao Tong saw her stuttering for a long time and could not help but ask, “Why?”

“Just think of it as… Being heartbroken.” Fang Qin finally said.

As soon as they heard these girls’ words, the boys lost interest and simply said, “Boring,” then turned back to do their own things.

Only the girls still gathered around, chasing after Fang Qin and asking, “Heartbroken? Hold up, Lin Shu has a boyfriend?”

“No, I remember a few days ago Lin Shu said she wanted to ask for a guy’s WeChat. Why is she suddenly heartbroken?”

Fang Qin scratched her neck as if hesitating whether to speak or not.

Yu Xiao Tong asked tentatively, “It can’t be that she asked for his WeChat and got rejected, right?”

“Of course not!” Fang Qin quickly waved her hand to deny.

Everyone who saw her overreacting immediately understood what had happened.

“She hasn’t been in love with that male student yet, so it doesn’t count as heartbroken?”

Fang Qin saw that everyone understood what happened, so she did not continue to hide it and confessed everything, “Well, Lin Shu thought she would definitely succeed, so… After the extra class was over, she directly blocked him at the door, but then got rejected.”

“Moreover, that guy was very cold that he didn’t say a word to her and then left,” Fang Qin continued, “Lin Shu is a stubborn person, so of course, she got angry and ran up to ask him why he doesn’t like her.”

“And then?” Someone asked.

“After that, the guy said he already likes someone else…” Fang Qin said slowly.

Chen Qi sitting next to Yu Xiao Tong while playing games on her phone finally looked up. On the screen, her character got killed by the enemy, and the screen popped up two words ‘Failure’.

Yu Xiao Tong was also dumbfounded for a few seconds, then turned her head to see Chen Qi’s reaction and asked cautiously, “Qi Qi?”

“Uh… Listen to me. Maybe he just tried to find an excuse to reject Lin Shu,” Yu Xiao Tong said incoherently, “…He probably doesn’t have a crush yet.”

Chen Qi paused and pursed her lips, “Hm.”

It was okay. Chen Qi already expected this day would come. After all, they were just strangers, and he was not her boyfriend.

The fact that he liked someone else had nothing to do with her.

She just needed to know he was happy.

Even if in his happiness, there was no such person as ‘Chen Qi’.

Even if she would be heartbroken.

… 

—Wednesday, December 25th

I didn’t see him today.

It turns out he already likes someone else.

Did his crush save the entire galaxy in her previous life? I envy her so much.

If he already likes someone else, I decided I’ll stop liking him starting tomorrow.

Must be stopped in time.

Today is the last day I like him, so,

Merry Christmas, Jiang Yan Yi.

…

Thursday, December 26th

It’s been three days without seeing him.

Ah right, I don’t like him anymore. I’m just used to writing a diary daily.

…

Friday, December 27th

I didn’t see you today either.

Whatever, I don’t care.

…

Tuesday, December 31st

Haven’t seen you for eight days already.

…

Tuesday, January 7th

I still haven’t seen him.

I’m scared.

I’m afraid that I won’t be able to see him again.—

…

Since December 24th, Chen Qi had not seen him again.

On the fifty-sixth day of not being able to meet Jiang Yan Yi, Chen Qi no longer recorded whether she met Jiang Yan Yi today.

The few leaves left on the cornfields finally fell, slowly landing on the ground.

Her little hope was finally crushed by these fifty-six days.

The yellowed cornfield leaves carried the bitter feelings of the young girl, fell to the ground and were blown away by the autumn wind.

The leaves had flown away, but her feelings were still there.

Suddenly, Chen Qi remembered the question she had seen online — How do people tell the difference between like and love?

Now she had the answer.

The answer was — By the pain of separation.

…

Spring had come, but he still had not returned.

March 8th was Yu Xiao Tong’s birthday. 

After Chen Qi had dinner at Yu Xiao Tong’s house, the two went to the bookstore to buy some materials.

Walking to the pens counter, Chen Qi suddenly remembered that the pen she had been using was running out of ink. She then stepped forward, considering what brand of the pen to buy.

The pen she bought last time constantly got clogged, so she was more experienced this time. Before buying the pen, she had to test it.

Chen Qi picked out a pen, took a sticky note next to her, opened the pen cap and tested the pen. 

Writing a few strokes on the paper.

Yu Xiao Tong, who silently walked over, stood next to her and looked at the sticky note Chen Qi just used to test the pen. The next moment, her whole body instantly froze, and she was stunned for a long time.

Chen Qi glanced at her in confusion and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Do you know what you just wrote?” Yu Xiao Tong looked directly into Chen Qi’s eyes and asked her back.

Chen Qi felt that Yu Xiao Tong was acting a bit strange, and while looking down at the paper, she wondered what she wrote that surprised Yu Xiao Tong.

“I don’t understand why you’re overreacting. Isn’t it just a pen test?” Her eyes shifted to the paper, then Chen Qi slowly looked at the words she had written as she continued, “Let’s see what I wrote…”

While speaking, her eyes looked at the three words on the paper and suddenly stopped.

The remaining words abruptly stuck inside her throat.

Chen Qi’s hand holding the pen stopped in mid-air. She suddenly felt that the three words on the paper were very dazzling.

It made her eyes sore.

The handwriting on the paper was neat, and the three words ‘Jiang Yan Yi’ were carefully written on it.

She wrote his name subconsciously.

Was she crazy?

Yu Xiao Tong looked at those three words and suddenly remembered that it had been a long time since Chen Qi saw Jiang Yan Yi.

Chen Qi said that she wanted to give up on him, would stop liking him, and would not even peek at him on the way to school.

But in the months of not seeing Jiang Yan Yi, Chen Qi began to come to school late often.

Chen Qi was so stupid. She was so stupid that she stood on the side of Cornfield Road for more than an hour, thinking she could wait for him to appear.

Yu Xiao Tong could not help but wonder if she was sick. It was snowing heavily in the morning, yet she sat on the street to wait for him? Did she still want to live?

The corners of Chen Qi’s eyes were red, her eyes staring blankly into the air, and her soul seemed to have left her body, still motionless.

After a long time, she slowly raised her head, and with her hoarse voice, Chen Qi asked, “Will I never see him again?”

Why did he suddenly disappear?

Yu Xiao Tong was stunned for a moment and gently comforted her, “Maybe he just transferred schools, don’t think too much.”

“It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen him.”

Yu Xiao Tong asked softly, “Do you like him that much? Just a stranger, you don’t know him at all. Other than his name, what else do you know about him?”

“He’s just an unimportant stranger, Chen Qi, you know? He…” Yu Xiao Tong paused, bit her lip slightly, and said heartlessly, “He may not even know your name, and maybe he doesn’t even know your existence.”

Chen Qi slowly looked at Yu Xiao Tong and said, “I’ve always felt that love at first sight is absurd and illusory.”

“I also thought that this was only momentary sadness and that over time I would gradually forget him. He was just a stranger after all. But apparently, it seems it’s not that simple,” Chen Qi lowered her eyes and said, “On the thirty-seventh day of not seeing him, I panicked.”

“I was afraid that I would never see him again, afraid that he was just a dream of mine, and when I woke up, everything would disappear.”

If he wanted to disappear, he would disappear without leaving a trace.

A very long dream was finally over.

Yu Xiao Tong opened her mouth but did not know what to say.

The next moment, she heard Chen Qi solemnly say, “I won’t like him anymore.”

This time for real, she must forget him.

At that time, Yu Xiao Tong did not believe her. Deep down inside, she felt that Chen Qi would never be able to forget him.

But after that day, Chen Qi returned to her previous appearance, but she learned to tire herself by studying a lot.

For a moment, Yu Xiao Tong thought that she had guessed wrong.

Until one rainy day, after Chen Qi had lunch with her, they took a taxi home.

Outside, it was raining heavily, the air was damp and chilly, but the car heater was on. Due to the big temperature difference, the car windows became foggy.

Yu Xiao Tong watched Chen Qi staring at the car window motionless, suddenly raising her hand.

On the thin layer of fog on the window, she carefully moved her finger, slowly writing the three words ‘Jiang Yan Yi’ on top.

But it seemed that Chen Qi did not realize what she was writing.

Yu Xiao Tong saw the corners of Chen Qi’s eyes curl up as she smiled at those three words.

For some reason, Yu Xiao Tong did not say anything.

… 

Fragments of memories poured into her mind little by little, heavy and heartbreaking.

Chen Qi let go of the pen.

After that, the two of them left in a tacit understanding, and no one mentioned what happened just now.