Chapter 23 Maybe I Should Just...

Sam put a halt to his thoughts, reminding himself that it was all his fault.

He didn't have the courage to confess to her. Alice never saw him as a man yet he refused to do anything about it, continuing to orbit around her all while his resentment built up each time she picked another guy over him.

Now that his feelings for her died only self pity was left and the idea that he might have a chance once she gets rejected cause him to feel disgusted by his own mindset.

I can't help but wonder… Sam thought, reaching with his hand to brush a few strands away from her face. What could I have done to make you notice me?

Alice was a strong and capable woman, only men at the top of human society were able to catch her interest. Sam was nowhere near that level, lacking everything from wealth, status and looks. If he had confessed to her back then, she would probably have shut him down so badly he would never have recovered from it. Not much has changed since then either.

"Look at you, sleeping peacefully even while I'm still around." Sam whisper, his eyes still locked on the sleeping Alice. "Am I so worthless that you never considered me as a danger?"

Anger was building up in his heart. This was supposed to be the perfect day. He got to enjoy one of the Valkyries and the woman he was interested in asked him out. He wished he had ignored that message. If he did then maybe he wouldn't have had to go through all of this. And it was all her fault.

"Maybe I should just ra.pe you." He said. "Would you start seeing me as a man then?"

The sleeping beauty offered no response, obviously, and though he never had a drop of alcohol Sam was starting to act weirdly. He reached with both his hands and unbuttoned her shirt. His actions lacked hesitation, even when he was fully aware that he's about to commit a crime. She wore a black sports bra underneath, something unexpected of a woman of her type.

Glancing up Sam checked if the woman was still asleep, however the moment he saw her face as she slept peacefully all the dark thoughts suddenly disappeared.

What am I doing?...

Sam gritted his teeth. Even when she's helplessly lying in front of him he is still unable to do anything. The resentment he felt swelled inside, but it wasn't directed toward Alice, she has done nothing wrong.

The only one at fault was Sam himself. His cowardice was his fault and his alone, the only one to blame here is himself. Alice was innocent, she owed him nothing and he realized that.

In fact he was the one oweing her a lot. More than he could count. He would never be able to pay his debt no matter how much he tries yet here he was about to harm her just to satisfy the anger boiling inside him.

Did I really get over her? Sam thought, doubts about his own feelings resurfacing.

Letting out a long sigh he fixed her shirt and stood up to leave, but before he did he turned to take one more look at her sleeping face.

This was supposed to be a perfect day. He got to kiss a Valkyrie, then the woman he was interested in. Alice sending him that message ruined it all and once he leaves that room it could never be fixed.

Sam didn't want it to end like that. He didn't want his past failures to be the thing that ruins his present and future. If there is one thing he could do to avoid that fate, he had to do it or go to bed full of regret.

As he stared at the sleeping beauty, her rosy lips came into sight. They looked strangely glossy as if they were inviting him in. Before reason could get a chance at stopping him, Sam leaned down and kissed Alice. It only lasted for a second, the stench of alcohol ruining it all. But once it was done he felt the weight on his shoulders dropping and his anger fading away.

"I will let you go with this much." Sam said as he stepped away. "But only this time, understand?"

Obviously, no answer came from the sleeping beauty. His heart was beating faster with each second and as his excitement grew he finally retreated fearing what he might do if he stayed in that room any longer.

The day might not be perfect, the last couple of ours were nothing but a pain. Still, if he had to describe it Sam could confidently say it was one of the best

~◇~

A few seconds pass after Sam left the commander's office, Alice's eyes suddenly snapped open and she quickly lifted herself up. She stared at the entrance to her bedroom for a while, then, once her hazy mind confirmed that everything that had just occurred wasn't a dream, her face blossomed into a brilliant shade of red.

"Eh? Eh!? Eeeeeeeeeh!!!!?"

She held her burning cheeks in both hands and tried her best to understand what happened.

She drank until her head started spinning, summoned Sam so she wouldn't suffer alone, cried and complained until she was too tired to go on, then pretended to be asleep so he would put her in bed because she was too lazy to get up herself.

This wasn't the first time it happened. So far everything went the same as it did for the few dozens times she tried to wash away her sorrows using alcohol. But what happened afterwards was the anomaly.

"Was he about to…"

Usually Sam would leave as soon he puts her in bed. She heard him complain once or twice, however most of the time he just gets out as if he couldn't wait to do so.

'Maybe I should just **** you.'

The words rang in Alice's head. This time was different from the others. Sam tried to strip her and even though he decided to stop it was clear he intended to do a lot more than that. Then, just when the danger seemed to have passed, she felt his lips fall on hers.

Alice was in shock. It came out of nowhere, she never even considered the possibility of something of this nature happening. The only reason she continued to pretend being asleep was that the shock froze her leaving her unable to react.

Sam was like a little brother to her, she still remembers seeing him as a baby sleeping in his mother's arms. That innocent child was about to assault her a few minutes ago. Alice started trembling from both horror and embarrassment.

'Am I so worthless that you never considered me as a danger'

'Would you start seeing me as a man then?'

Remembering what he said, Alice began to notice the huge blunder she had made. Sam was a man now. An adult male just like any of the others. He was no longer the little brother she used to play with. And the same goes for her. She's now an adult female, even so she has been inviting him to meet in private without considering the implications.

Suddenly all the times the two of them hugged and cuddled flashed through her mind, the ones from when Sam was a teenager being especially clear.

Alice took her pillow, buried her face in it and screamed until she lost her voice. Even after that her embarrassment was still going strong.

Now that I think about it he seemed strangely upset whenever I told him about my engagements. Alice though, reminiscing about the times she forced him to celebrate with her. Was he jealous, perhaps?

That one kiss was enough to sober her up and for the rest of the night Alice couldn't stop herself from thinking about him.

Sam didn't know it himself but that night he had finally achieved a goal he had long since given up on. He finally made Alice recognize him as a man.